


Time To Go Back to School

by meowitskatmofo



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, But only a little Nygmobblepot, Drama, Eventual Smut, First Day of School, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Gordlock - Freeform, M/M, Nygmobblepot, Photography, SMUTTY SMUT, Smut, Smutsss, The Writer Has Lost Control Of This, This is Gordlock land
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-20 23:54:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 56
Words: 112,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10673379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowitskatmofo/pseuds/meowitskatmofo
Summary: It's senior year at Gotham High for Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock. There will be a lot of angsty self discovery, terrible heart ache, and the dreaded tale of suffering of Mr. Goose.The ongoing adventures of my Gordlock High School AU! <3





	1. Over and Over

**Author's Note:**

> Totally inspired by the lovely partnerasshat and gordlock-fanart from Tumblr, I wrote this crazy drabble up. I only meant it to be a one shot deal, but I can't seem to stop writing the boys in high school land. I'm thinking this is gonna keep going for a while, but I won't promise any semblance of a plot just yet. Of all the boys, I adore writing Harvey the most and I'm sure he and Jim will eventually take over this series. Mmm, Gordlock. Anyway, enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey is not looking forward to returning to school.

There was a click, then a spark. Harvey Bullock lowered his chin towards the flame, lighting his cigarette and inhaling deeply. He leaned back against the brick wall of the alleyway, sighing out a puff of smoke. He had stepped out for a quick break, weary from a long day of work and knowing that he still had to get through the rest of the night before doing it all over again tomorrow. He had taken a summer job unloading the boats down at the Gotham docks. It was back breaking labor, but they didn’t care how old he was and they paid decent. Nights, he worked down here at the corner market just two blocks from home. He stocked shelves, swept, took out the trash, and chased out the occasional shoplifter. 

It didn’t pay nearly as well as the gig down at the docks, but it was easy and the job would still be here when school started back up. There were also plenty of perks. The owner, Mrs. O'Connell, would send him home with any groceries that were about to expire instead of throwing them away. He had given up arguing with her a long time ago, letting her pack up little brown bags for him to take home and sometimes she would even slip in a pack of smokes. 

He had been smoking since elementary school, swiping cigarettes from his father and smoking outside the playground. Pops never seemed to notice, or maybe he didn’t care. Harvey would take a few here and there, even snagging a beer when he was feeling particularly brave. At least, that was while he was still around. That was before he left, before Mama got sick. 

Because Mama smoked, too, Harvey recalled bitterly as he took another drag. She had started smoking as a kid, just like Harvey, just like Pops, but now she was paying for it. She had been fighting the cancer for years now, wasting away slowly under its deadly grip. It was why Harvey had to work so hard, to put food on the table, to pay for her medicine, to make sure the lights stayed on. He had to make sure that his little family could keep going one more day. 

Most kids his age never had to learn how to write checks for rent, much less how to give injections or change out bed pans. He had to help his mother bathe, get dressed, every function of daily life he had to be right by her side. She had become too weak to do much on her own and Harvey did everything he could to help her. Pops had started coming back around more since she had gotten so bad, Harvey always wondering if it was out of love or guilt or some toxic mix of both. Whatever his motivation, Harvey appreciated the help. He needed it and wouldn’t refuse him, even as angry as it made him for all the times Pops wasn’t there. 

Like when they changed Mama’s medication and it made her sick, leaving Harvey to clean up her vomit while trying to tell her that it was okay when she cried; feeding her because sometimes her hands shook so badly she couldn’t even hold a damn fork; helping her out of bathroom when she passed out and carrying her back into bed, wondering when she had become so small and frail. 

It was wearing him down, having so much resting on his young shoulders, leaving him with a heavy lump right next to his heart. 

He was angry, almost all the time. He resented all the other kids at school who didn’t have to shop at thrift stores for clothes or wear the stuff left behind by a father who was hardly ever there. He hated them for having families that weren’t sick, for not having a single care in the world. All they were worried about was who was going out with who, if they were gonna get laid, what party to go to next. Harvey didn’t have the luxury of worrying about those mundane things; he had to worry about if his next paycheck would be enough to pay the damn water bill. 

He puffed out a few lazy smoke rings, sighing haggardly. He wasn’t looking forward to going back to school. He should have graduated already, but he had missed too many days, missed too many tests, and failed most of the ones he had taken. Being in the principal’s office more often than not certainly hadn’t helped either. He had to repeat his damn senior year and pray this year went better than before. He had to get his shit together, he had to keep moving forward. He had to graduate and get a real job, so he could keep taking care of Mama. Nothing else mattered. 

He stared at the burning ember of the cigarette with a sour smirk. The irony that he found comfort in the very thing that was responsible for his mother’s illness was not lost on him. It was foolish, but there was so little he enjoyed. He didn’t have many friends, no one in particular he was fond of. He hadn’t ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend for much longer than a night or two. He didn’t have time to invest in a relationship of any kind. He had too much other shit to worry about. Besides, anyone that got too close would have just be disappointed with what they found, he thought sadly. 

He felt like an old busted car, parts salvaged from junk yards and rigged together to keep trudging along; but who would ever want such a broken thing? Better this way, he assured himself, to be alone. He had too much other shit to worry about. He had to finish this shift, get home to give Mama her medicine, crash for a few hours, then the day would start all over again. Over and over again. 

He flicked his cigarette butt out into the darkness of the alley, running his fingers through his hair. This year had to be different, he told himself, heading back to the store to get back to work. It just had to be.


	2. Perfectionist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward Nygma readies himself for the first day of school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot! I did it again. More high school drabbles, this time with little baby Eddie and some special cameos. <3

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. 

The sounds of the grandfather clock down the hall were soothing to Edward Nygma’s ears. He liked it when the house was this silent. The monotonous rhythm was eerily soothing and he caught himself humming the simple beat. Tick. Tock. Hmm. Mmm. Hmm. Mmm. 

He knew he was safe when it was this quiet, not another soul stirring at this early hour. 

He was getting ready for the first day back of school, his senior year, apprehensive and excited. He had always done well in class, a model student for all of his life. His GPA was perfect and his impressive intellect had annihilated every standardized test he was ever given. He was a genius, particularly excelling in science, and already receiving offers for full academic scholarships to many prestigious colleges. He was certain to have a promising career in whatever field he decided to pursue. His superior intelligence, however, was only matched by a deep and bumbling awkwardness. 

It had always been difficult for Edward to make friends. Even as a child, he was too odd, too quiet. Other children could sense that he was different somehow and while he desperately craved friendship, he never found it. No one wanted to be friends with the weird kid. He was alone. He found solace in books, often reading for hours on end. He could escape into fantastic worlds and go on daring adventures, as many as he wanted to every night, reading until he fell asleep. The heroes in his books became his friends, imaginary companions inside his head to keep him company. 

His childhood left him introverted and hyper aware of how strange he was to other people; puberty had not been much kinder. It cursed him with a face full of acne, braces, and long, gangly limbs he still didn’t fully understand how to maneuver. In high school, he finally began to make a few friends. He found others that were isolated for being different, for being awkward and too smart. ‘Nerds’, they were called. Edward despised being catalogued like a specimen with such a label, but he appreciated the companionship. But even among his geeky peers, he still didn’t feel as if he fit. 

Even after all of these years, the friends inside his head were still his closest companions. He could always count on them to be there for him. They never forgot his birthday, they were proud when he earned another perfect report card, they laughed at his jokes. They were there for each and every aching night, especially the ones he spent crying himself to sleep. They would comfort him, gently urging, _If you’re not quiet, he’ll hear you. If you can’t stop crying, he’ll hurt you again…_

Edward adjusted his glasses, running a comb through his hair for a third time. He kept it slicked over to one side, tidy and professional. His shirt was freshly pressed and his green bow tie flawless at his collar. Although he was still lacking a considerable degree of grace, the blemishes on his skin were finally fading and the braces were off. He was starting to feel a bit more sure of himself. He made sure the cuffs of his sleeves were buttoned, hiding away healing bruises. 

Perfection; that was something his father valued and had impressed upon Edward as far back as he could remember. Everything had to be perfect, a place for everything and everything in its place. He had to be a good boy, he had to behave, or father would be unhappy. Edward knew he wasn’t a very good son. After all, it was always Edward’s fault when his father hurt him. He would forget one of the rules and he had to be punished. The rules were very important. 

It’s why he had to take such care to be quiet; one of the biggest rules was to never disturb father. He had to be careful. He listened for the distant ticking of the clock, sighing at its comforting song. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. He was still safe. He was being good, he was obeying the rules. 

“Well,” he asked softly, shyly staring into the mirror, “What do we think?” 

_You look very handsome!_

_Such a winner!_

_You’re going to have a great day!_

He beamed happily, the chorus of voices was reassuring, murmuring, “Thank you.” He needed that so much. He exited the bathroom, grabbing his lunch and his backpack. He had already packed everything last night, ensuring that it would all be ready for this morning. He wanted to be on time, especially on his first day. He caught another glimpse of himself in the hallway mirror as he went to leave, but his smile faded. 

_Run away, little mouse… scared, shaking little mouse._

The companions in his head were all benign and sweet, bastions of kindness and support; all except one. 

“I’m not scared,” Edward whispered defiantly. He had been hoping this particular friend would not show himself today. 

_Oh, yes, you are. You’re afraid he might wake up while you’re still here. Afraid he’s going to hurt you and you’ll cry again and then he’ll hurt you more._

“Shut up,” Edward hissed back, struggling to keep his voice down. His head was beginning to pound. 

_Sweet little mouse, when will you learn? You shouldn’t be afraid of him. He should be afraid of us._

“No,” Edward said, the word trembling as it left his lips. He realized his reflection was smiling back at him, a devilish leer that chilled his blood. The ache in his head was getting worse. “Father is trying to teach us, teach _me_. We have to follow the rules, so we can be better.” 

_We would be better off without him…_

“No!” Edward gasped, turning away and hurrying towards the door. He had to get to school. He had to make good grades and be a good son. He was looking forward to seeing his friends and making this final year the best yet. He ignored the laughter inside his head, even as it echoed louder and louder with every step. 

When he reached the school, he eagerly sought out his friends. He was grateful for the distraction, the cackling that no one else could hear reduced to a dull hum as they discussed their new class schedules. 

The finality was not lost on Edward. This was the last _first day_ of school. One more year and he would graduate, then he would be off to college. The thought of having challenging studies was exhilarating and leaving his home was even more exciting than he dared admit. No more rules, no more father, no more clock; he could finally start a new life. He could finally be free. 

_You could be free of him much sooner…_

Edward ignored the voice, following his friends as they headed towards their first class. He saw many familiar faces, most of which he chose to also actively ignore; but there were several new ones along the way. There was an athletic blonde with perfect chiseled features and perfect shining teeth being chatted up by some of the cheerleaders. Oh, Edward hated him on sight. 

But as the boy had turned to leave his bubbly company, he had the extreme misfortune to bump right into Harvey Bullock. The two collided with such force that all the books and papers Harvey had been carrying all dropped to the floor. Oh, not good. 

Edward cringed, feeling a sudden pang of sympathy for the new guy. Harvey was not known for being a forgiving and kind person. He wasn’t a bully, not exactly, but definitely someone to be avoided at all costs. As he and his friends hurried by, Edward could make out a stuttering apology followed by Harvey’s familiar snarl. He stepped a little faster, not wanting to be a witness to a possible homicide. He was grateful to arrive to his first class without having seen any bloodshed, settling into a desk towards the back of the room. He had bid farewell to his friends for now since none of them shared this particular class. He was arranging his notebook and pencils on top of the desk when something tugged at his gut, urging him to look up. 

That’s when he saw _him_. 

Another new face had appeared and Edward couldn’t bare to look away. He immediately realized he was staring, but he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t know that anyone could be so beautiful, and yet, here was this gorgeous stranger. 

The boy that had captured his attention so intently had a wild plume of black hair with violet tips and wide, bright eyes glancing around the room suspiciously. He was short, his petite frame swallowed up by an ill-fitting black velvet blazer. The edge of the coat nearly hung to his knees, Edward noted. His features were delicate, set in a stern gaze as he looked around the room in search of a desk to occupy. 

Edward feared he must have made some sort of noise, because the boy tilted his head towards him and caught his eye. _Then he started walking right over towards him_. Edward’s breath caught in his throat, his pulse thumping up in his ears. 

The boy was looking at him again, Edward flashing an awkward smile. He may have snorted in his excitement and immediately wished he could turn invisible. Much to his surprise, the boy didn’t appear repulsed. His serious expression cracked enough to return a small smile before sitting down a few seats in front of Edward. Had there been a closer open seat, Edward wondered if the boy would have sat closer to him. 

At this distance, Edward now noticed the boy’s bright eyes were expertly lined in black makeup and he realized that part of the boy’s height was thanks to the clunky platform shoes he was wearing. Edward had never seen anyone like him before in his entire life, dark and exciting, and he resisted the urge to squeak when the boy turned around in his seat to glance back at him. He must have felt Edward’s continued staring but again, he didn’t seem bothered. 

He smiled, a little warmer this time. 

Edward’s face flushed and he grinned dumbly in return, staring down at his desk and immediately grabbing his pencil to start taking notes. He started writing utter nonsense, anything at all to distract himself from looking back up at the handsome boy. He felt a little nauseous, but utterly elated. No one had ever made his heart flutter like this, not once in all of his life could he remember ever feeling such a rush from a smile. 

_He’s cute…_

Edward was surprised to hear such a positive comment, seeing as how it was the nasty voice in his head that had spoken up. He nodded softly in agreement, wise enough to not talk to himself in from or other people. 

He raised his head up carefully, stealing another glance at the beautiful boy before returning quickly to his notebook. His cheeks still felt warm and he realized he was still smiling. 

This year was already shaping up to be quite exciting.


	3. Love At First Putz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim literally run right into each other.

The first day of school had finally arrived and Harvey Bullock had no idea what he was in for. 

He had squeezed in one last shift at the docks, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get that kind of money again for some time and rationalizing the pay would be worth the lack of rest. He managed to crawl back into bed and get an hour or so of sleep before his alarm went off. He swatted at it, grumbling a long string of obscenities before forcing himself to get up. He stumbled into the kitchen, still half asleep, rubbing at his eyes to get started on breakfast. 

When he opened the fridge to grab the eggs, he saw there were only two left. Damn, not enough for both him and his mother to eat. He cooked them, scrambling them with some milk, knowing full well he was going to school hungry that morning. He fixed them up on a little plate with a fork and got a glass of juice ready, gently knocking on his mother’s door before walking in. 

“Morning, mama,” he said softly, gently nudging her awake. She looked so tiny, a frail little thing wrapped up in a nest of blankets and comforters, propped up on several pillows. 

She mumbled a hello, her eyes fluttering open and smiling weakly as she accepted the plate of food and cup. “Thank you, baby.” 

“Sure thing, ma,” he said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He headed into the bathroom they shared in this tiny apartment, getting her pill organizer from out of the medicine cabinet. He double checked them, making sure they were all there before returning to her side and presenting her with the handful of medicine. “Here.” 

She made a face, but accepted the medicine, taking each pill individually with a small sip of juice. She hated all the meds, Harvey knew, but they were supposed to be helping. 

“I gotta go get ready for school, okay?” Harvey soothed, “Eat your eggs.” 

She nodded, still trying to get all the pills down. 

Harvey returned to his room, slipping out of the sweaty work clothes he had fallen asleep in. He changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a t-shirt, fumbling around for socks and shoes. He tied a red flannel shirt around his waist and grabbed his backpack before heading back into the bathroom. 

He dropped his pack on the floor, brushing his teeth and putting on deodorant. He wished he had time for a shower, struggling to brush the knots out of his long hair. He pulled it back to put it up before he realized he didn’t have a damn hair tie. He groaned, heading back to his room to find one. 

While he searched, he heard his mother shuffling out of her room and loud, retching sounds. 

Shit. 

Harvey sighed, finally finding a hair tie in one of his dresser drawers. He quickly put his hair up in a knot, grabbing a towel out of the hall closet as he headed into the bathroom to help his mother. 

“I’m-I’m so sorry,” his mother was gasping, shaking on the floor in front of the toilet. 

“It’s okay, mama,” Harvey said gently, running the towel under the faucet to dampen it and kneeling beside her. He patted her head, wiping off her mouth and giving the toilet a courtesy flush. “Is it the new supplement they put you on? Should I call I the doc?” 

“No, I’m _sorry_ ,” she cried, “I didn’t-didn’t make it all the way…” 

Harvey frowned, glancing over when he realized why his mother was apologizing so profusely. She had gotten sick on her way to the bathroom and Harvey’s backpack, that he had left there on the floor, had been in the line of fire. He shut his eyes, resisting a curse, forcing a tight smile. “It’s okay, ma. I can wash it later.” 

He helped her get cleaned up, picking her up and carrying her back to bed. He tucked her in, offering her back the plate of eggs she hadn’t been able to finish, urging her to try and eat. He brought her new medicine to replace what she had thrown up and got to work taking care of the rest of the mess left in the bathroom. 

His backpack was beyond saving at that moment, taking out his books and school supplies before tossing it into the laundry. He’d deal with it later. He tucked it all under his arm as best as he could, sticking a pencil behind his ear before going to check on his mother again. 

She had fallen back asleep, but the eggs and medication were gone at least. He hoped it would all stay down this time. He took the dishes and dropped them off in the sink on his way out the door. Fuck, he had to hurry or he was going to be late for the first fucking day. 

He was tired, he was hungry, and although he knew his mother couldn’t help it, he was pretty sore about his backpack getting puked on. He was already going through the long list of shit he would have to do when he got home, digging a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket as he took the elevator down to the first floor. 

He practically flew out onto the sidewalk, managing to light up his cigarette as he hurried along, sneakers squeaking as he tore around the corner to the next block. He really couldn’t afford to be late, not on his first day. It was shitty enough he had most of the same teachers that had flunked him last year. He couldn’t afford a damn tardy. This year had to be fucking better, it just had to be. 

The school was only a few blocks from his apartment building, grateful for the short distance especially as his lungs felt like they were about to give out. He skidded to a stop, panting, taking a few quick drags from his cigarette before flicking it off into the street. 

He moved through the sea of people as quickly as he could, checking his schedule one last time to make sure he was headed to the right class. He waved at a few people he knew, but didn’t stop to chat. He realized these kids had been behind him, but now they were in the same year. That realization stung, only adding to his bitter mood. 

He shouldn’t fucking be here, he should have already graduated. He hung his head, miserable. He sighed, trying to find some inner strength to pep himself back up, but right then he found nothing. He felt like shit. Tired, hungry shit. 

With his head hanging down, he didn’t even see the blonde kid turning right into his path. They collided, his books and papers flying all over the place, the soda the kid had been holding splashing everywhere. Harvey instantly snapped out of his funk, cursing loudly, “Hey! Watch where you’re fucking going, you fucking putz!” 

“Shit! I’m so sorry!” the blonde exclaimed, dropping to the floor to help Harvey start picking up everything. He was athletic, preppy, easy on the eyes; although it was hard for Harvey to appreciate the last part because he was so pissed.

"I didn’t even see you, man!” 

“I know,” Harvey said dryly, snatching up his books. “If you had fucking seen me, pretty sure you wouldn’t have run into me!” Fucking great, he groaned inwardly, staring down at the wet papers and the big brown stain of soda blossoming on the front of his shirt. 

The kid was desperately wiping down the front of Harvey’s shirt with his own sleeve, stuttering, “Look man, I am really sorry. I really didn’t mean to. I will totally get you a new shirt, or wash this one and bring it back to you.” He took a deep breath, saying sternly, “Look, I will make this right.” 

Harvey’s eyes finally moved to get a better look at the kid kneeled down beside him. Handsome, big blue eyes, cute. Really cute; and he couldn’t deny how he kind of liked the guy pawing at him. He sighed, snorting, “Easy there, _Boy Scout_. It’s just a fuckin’ shirt.” 

The kid had helped gather up all of Harvey’s things and offered them back, standing up as he did. “Still,” he protested. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Harvey scolded him as he shuffled the pile of books and paper together, glancing up at one of the many ever present clocks. He still had a few more minutes before class. Wordlessly, he left the kid there in the hall, headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up. He glanced behind him, annoyed when he realized the kid was following him. 

Harvey stepped into the bathroom, glaring at his new shadow. “What the fuck is your deal?” 

“I told you, I want to help,” the kid insisted stubbornly. 

“Oh, yeah?” Harvey shook his head, shoving his books back into the kid’s arms. “You wanna help, hold this shit.” He stripped off his stained shirt, wringing it out in the sink as best he could. 

The kid was staring, eyes moving over Harvey’s pale skin. He gulped audibly, holding the books a little tighter, taking in every freckle and oh, were those tattoos? 

“See something you like?” Harvey taunted, reveling in the blush that spread across the kid’s face. 

“N-no, I’m, just, uh,” he stuttered in response, trying to find an answer in the tile of the bathroom floor. “Not many high school guys with tattoos is all.” 

“Uh huh,” Harvey said, smirking. He left his soiled shirt in the sink for now, taking the flannel from around his waist and slipping it on. He buttoned it up quickly and tried to readjust his hair. He cursed when he felt the tie snap, having to take his hair down and attempt raking it around his ears to appear halfway presentable. 

The kid was gawking again. He looked like a lost puppy who just wanted a little scratch behind the ears, maybe a treat. Damn, was this kid lucky he was fucking cute. Harvey had clobbered people for a lot less, but there was something about this idiot that was surprisingly endearing. 

There was an unfamiliar warm feeling creeping up on him, and Harvey realized he couldn’t remember if anyone had ever looked at him the way that damn kid was right now. 

Harvey sighed, taking his books back and asking sharply, “You got a name?” 

“W-what?” The kid blinked back to reality. 

“A name, dumbass.” 

“Oh! Jim. Jim Gordon.” He eagerly stuck out his hand, smiling warmly. 

Harvey ignored the invitation, replying shortly, “Nice to meet you, _Jimmy_. Now, do us both a favor and stay the fuck out of my way.” He forced a nasty smile, snapping, “Mmmkay? Okay.” 

“Wait, what’s your-” The kid was left talking to dead air. He watched Harvey storm out of the bathroom, letting out the breath he’d been holding in a long sigh. Shit, what a morning. He glanced over at the sink, seeing that the redhead had left his shirt. He picked it up, trying to dab it off with some paper towels and frowning at the stain. 

He unzipped his backpack, shoving it down amongst his books. He was determined to take care of this, not wanting to be on anyone’s bad side; this was only the first day. He was supposed to be making friends, not enemies. 

Besides, he thought to himself, his cheeks warming right back up, it would be the perfect excuse to talk to the redhead again.


	4. Little Black Cloud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim tries to make friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having WAY too much fun with this. I'm enjoying rotating through the characters to move the story along and all their different perspectives and agh. I think I'm going to move back to Harvey or maybe tackle Oswald for the next one. Who knows!

Jim Gordon had been looking forward to the first day of school all summer long. He was ready for a fresh start, to make new friends, and regain a sense of normalcy in what had been a very difficult year. 

It had all started with the death of his father nine months earlier. His father had been killed by a drunk driver and Jim's world had completely fallen to pieces. His father had been his hero, his best friend, his mentor. Without him, he felt lost. He was a little kite whose string had been cut and he was floating through every day without any direction or purpose. 

There were days he worried that he was going to fly right off into the sky and never return. He thought perhaps he would have several times over already if it had not been for his mother. She was a pillar of grace and resilience, keeping their little family going in spite of the terrible tragedy. 

She made sure Jim still attended class and went to every track meeting, not letting him fall down into the depressed rut he so easily could have. She was strong, for both of them, reminding him daily how proud his father would be of him if he was still here to see him. 

Jim was trying; for his mother, to honor the memory of his father. But it was hard. 

After his father's passing, his friends all seemed to drift away. It was as if the death had somehow infected Jim and no one wanted to be around him, fearful they'd somehow catch it. He was an outcast now, a social pariah for being a kid with a dead dad. He didn't understand how his friends could turn their backs on him, but they claimed that he was different, that he wasn't the same kid any more. 

There was a deep sense of melancholy that clung to him now, following him constantly like a little black cloud. He didn't smile as much and he couldn't remember what his laugh sounded like. It left him isolated from his peers and he had never felt more alone. He managed to pass his classes, place well in a few track competitions, but all in all the school year had concluded on a rather sad note. 

It was then his mother informed him that they would have to move out of their nice house. He would have to change schools and they would move into an apartment downtown. Without his father, they couldn't afford to live there any more and it broke Jim's heart all over again. This was the only home he had ever known and the memories he would be leaving made him feel as if he was leaving a piece of himself behind. 

The chaos and misery of moving over the summer left Jim in quite a funk, but his mother still refused to let him feel down. She would take him out for walks, they would go to the movies, they would cook dinner together. She tried to make sure that every day was filled with something fantastic, something to keep Jim's mind busy and probably to occupy her own thoughts as well. 

There were still plenty of tears; after watching a new film that he thought his father would have liked or breaking down while making his favorite pasta. But the tears were becoming fewer as the months went by, and it was easier to smile now. 

For the first time, Jim thought he could see the sun peeking through his little black cloud. 

It was why he had been looking forward to the first day of school so very much. No one at this school would know who he was or what had happened to his family, he could begin again. He could make new friends, he could start over. 

The first day finally arrived and the morning was already off to an exciting start. Gotham High was much bigger than his old school and it was dizzying trying to navigate his way around. He had caught the eye of several cheerleaders who were only too happy to give him directions. Everything was going so well, everything was great... 

And then he had run right into that redheaded kid and spilled his damn soda all over him. 

Jim had never met anyone quite like this kid; but was it really fair to say 'met'? He didn't even know his name. 

Whoever he was, he had left quite the impression on Jim and he was surprised how excited he was at the prospect of seeing him again. Jim knew he'd always liked girls, but he also knew that his eyes tended to wander towards boys as well. He liked muscular shoulders just as much as he liked long, feminine legs, admired chiseled jaws and pouting lips alike. But while he'd had a few fleeting girlfriends, he had never had any lasting romantic interest in a boy before. 

Seeing that redhead strip in the bathroom certainly made him consider such a thing was possible. His face went red again at the memory, sighing softly as he tried to concentrate on his schoolwork. His first class was history, stale and dry. He had been secretly hoping his red headed friend would be in his class, but no such luck. Maybe the next one. He tried to pay attention, but he found himself counting down the minutes until the bell rang. 

The next class was math. Ulgh. Even worse. Still no sign of his red headed friend, but there was a tall kid with glasses who quickly answered every question the teacher asked. Jim was amazed that arithmetic could come so easily to someone, knowing immediately who he'd be talking to if he ever needed help studying. 

The class droned on until the bell rang again, signaling lunch time had arrived. Jim made his way to the cafeteria, paying for his tray and glancing around the crowd of people. Ah, the ancient school ritual, a test of fortitude and courage; where would he sit? 

He spied the cheerleaders he had met that morning, but he kept looking, hoping... there! At a table by himself, he spotted a bright flash of red hair. Jim's heart pounded with excitement, gripping his tray a little tighter. He smiled, hurrying over and taking the seat across from him, greeting, "Hey!" 

"What are you doing?" the redhead asked, as if this was some sort of trick. 

"Sitting?" Jim answered, quirking an eyebrow. 

"With me?" He shook his head, laughing. "You're definitely new here, kid. _No one sits with me_." 

"Why not?" Jim asked curiously. 

"C'mere," the kid said, leaning forward and gesturing Jim closer as if he was about to tell him an exciting secret. 

Jim's cheeks flushed, pushing himself across the table until they were nearly nose to nose. The kid's eyes were an incredible shade of green, and he smelled faintly of cigarettes. Jim's breath stuttered when the kid pressed closer, and he could feel his mouth brushing against his ear. 

"Because," the kid whispered, his voice low and sultry. 

Jim bit his lip, certain his heart had stopped. 

The kid's voice suddenly rose to a shout, yelling right in his ear, " _I don't fucking like nobody sittin' with me!_ " 

Jim snapped back in an instant, his blush spreading all the way to his ears and across his neck. He could have heard a pin drop in that moment. He could feel every pair of eyes in the cafeteria locked on him, and he had an intense desire to melt into the floor. He didn't think he had ever been so embarrassed before in his life. 

"You have a swell day!" the kid chirped, giving Jim a little salute before standing up to leave. He didn't bother collecting his tray, cussing loudly at a few gawking students as he left. 

The excitement seemed to fade after a few seconds, everyone going back to their lunches, but Jim could still hear a few giggles at his expense. What a jerk, he thought angrily, poking at his food. He was only trying to be friendly, why was that guy being such a douche! 

Jim felt someone hovering over him, looking up to see the tall kid from his math class standing there with his lunch tray. He had a sympathetic look on his face, saying gently, "He is a rather prickly pear." 

"I noticed," Jim replied, unable to resist a smile at the choice of words. 

"Don't take it personally. Harvey is like that to everyone." 

"That's his name? Harvey?" 

"Mmm. Harvey Bullock." The kid fidgeted, concerned as he added quietly, "Probably best if you just stay away from him." 

"Noted," Jim sighed. He offered a friendly smile, saying, "I'm Jim Gordon. We have math together." 

The kid's smile became slightly strained as if Jim had said something offensive, nodding. "Yes. I'm Edward. Edward Nygma." 

"It's nice to meet you, Ed! I don't-" 

"Edward," he quickly corrected. 

"Sorry," Jim blinked. He smiled again, hopeful. "I, uh, well, I don't suppose you'd wanna have lunch with me?" 

"I appreciate the invitation, but I already have a previous obligation." 

"Right." 

"Have a good day, Jim!" 

"Yeah. You, too." He watched Edward pass by to head towards another table. There were several guys already sitting there, stacks of books and at least three pocket protectors between them all. They all stood up as Edward approached, chattering excitedly. 

Jim sighed. 

Zero for two, and the day was already halfway over. The red headed guy was a total prick, still cute, but still totally a prick. He didn't understand how anyone could be so mean when he was only trying to be kind. And Ed, no, _Edward_ , was too busy playing king of the nerds to have any time for dumb ol' Jim. He didn't mean to be so bitter, but this day was a total crap fest thus far. 

Was he ever going to make any friends here?


	5. Center Stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald Cobblepot prepares to make his grand debut at Gotham High.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, there's an Ozzie! <3

Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot was preparing to make his grand entrance. The first of day of school meant it was time to make his first impression and he wanted to leave every student at Gotham High positively gagging. 

He had always been a dramatic child. He had a flair in everything that he did and enjoyed being the center of attention. He loved singing and dancing, activities his mother encouraged with her immense love of musicals and theater. That was also where he found his love of costumes and make-up, dressing up as different characters and acting out all his favorite scenes. In his eyes, the brown braided rug on their living room floor would transform into a stage and he could perform for hours. 

His mother absolutely loved it. They would take construction paper and markers to design playbills for these little shows, even make fake tickets. She would pop popcorn and cheer him on through ever performance, always his biggest fan. She told him he was going to be a great artist some day, a true performer like she was and his father before him. He had a gift, she said, a beautiful spark that others would always be envious of. 

That was why the other boys picked on him, she would say, because they were jealous of her precious star. 

From the moment he had arrived in this world, his mother had impressed upon him how special he was. No one was as handsome as he was or as clever or funny or talented. He was her universe and she worshipped him endlessly. 

Oswald wished everyone else could see what his mother did. When he was young, he was picked on endlessly for being chubby or too feminine, or even for the color shirt he was wearing that day. Children, Oswald discovered, could be horribly cruel. But with his mother constantly lifting him up, he was able to eventually ignore all their taunts and soon his skin was impenetrable. His mother's loving words and unwavering belief in him was his armor. 

She was his best friend, his _only_ friend, and it had only been the two of them for as long as Oswald could remember. She'd told him his father died when he was a baby, but had left him many things to remember him by. Props, playbills, and costumes from his days as a great actor in the theater, she told him. One day, Oswald would be a star just like his father was. His favorite item was a black velvet jacket, far too large for his small frame, but he treasured it dearly. 

He kept it all in a trunk by the foot of his bed. Some days when he was sad and his mother's company wasn't enough to sate his loneliness, he would go through the trunk to cheer himself up. He would try to get a picture of the man he never got to meet, the man that his mother said would be so proud of him and how talented he was. He would hold the velvet jacket close, press his nose into the fabric and try to breathe in a scent long since faded away. Sometimes it helped; other days not. 

As much as he adored his mother, Oswald desperately wanted friends. He didn't have any one else he could talk to until he discovered drama class in high school. But even there, amongst fellow budding artists, no one seemed to like him, only tolerating him at best. He didn't understand it at all. He _was_ talented, winning the lead in almost every production the school put on. But his success only seemed to fuel his peers' disdain for him. 

Jealousy, his mother would warn him, they are envious of you! 

Oswald took comfort in knowing how amazing he was, but he still longed for companionship and his bitterness towards the other students festered. He didn't want people to hate him for how talented he was, he wanted them to admire him, to _love_ him. When his mother told him they had to move and he would be going to a new school, he was overjoyed. 

A chance to begin again, he told himself. He would step in that school and absolutely wow everyone! He would finally be recognized, appreciated. He would finally have _friends_. 

When the big day arrived, he flew out of bed to start getting ready. He changed his clothes four times before settling on black pants and a violet shirt that matched the bright streaks his mother had helped put in his hair the day before. He put on his favorite platforms, black chunky ones with big silver buckles, and scurried into the bathroom to do his makeup. 

Oh, how he adored cosmetics. He loved how with contouring and careful shadowing, he could completely transform his face into an entirely different person. He didn't do anything quite that drastic, not for today, only applying a light powder and lining his eyes in black. He spiked up his hair, put on a little lip gloss, and smiled at his reflection. Everything was perfect. 

He returned to his room to get his backpack, hearing his mother calling for him to come eat breakfast. "Coming, mother!" he called back cheerfully. He was so excited. He started to leave, but his eyes were drawn to the trunk. 

He paused, the gears twisting around in his head for a moment. Perhaps he could improve his outfit after all. He got out the black velvet blazer, smiling softly as he slipped it on. It was still too big, especially since he had lost some of the weight that had plagued him for so long, but it felt good to wear it. 

He checked himself in the bathroom mirror one final time, pleased with what he saw. He scampered out of his room to join his mother for breakfast, blushing as she gushed over how handsome he looked. 

Today was going to be wonderful. 

Once his mother had dropped him off and he stood in front of the school, his heart was pounding. It was the same sort of rush he felt right before going on stage. All smiles, he took a deep breath and headed inside. 

Oh, how he loved the way people stared as he walked by. He kept a confident smirk in place, batting his eyes whenever someone gawked for too long. He was positively _strutting_ to his first class, head held high, and completely on top of the world. 

He ended up doing a full lap of the school unintentionally before he finally realized he had gotten himself lost. He backtracked, getting reoriented and heading towards the correct classroom. By the time he stepped through the doorway, the class had already started to fill up. 

He frowned, trying to scan over the desks and find one open. He could sense someone staring again, but he certainly didn't mind the attention; especially once he saw who it was. 

Talk brunette, glasses, sharp cheekbones, _gorgeous_. 

All of the seats around his new admirer were taken, so he settled for being a few desks down in the same row. He and the brunette exchanged a few more smiles throughout class, Oswald's heart fluttering delightfully away in his chest. 

He couldn't wait for the bell to ring so he could properly introduce himself. 


	6. Cherries and Velvet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald and Edward get to know each other! <3

Edward had never been happier to hear the bell ring. It meant class was over and maybe, just maybe, he would have the courage to speak to the pretty dark-haired boy. They had been trading little smiles and glances every few minutes, each more daring than the last. He wanted to meet him so very much, but he was nervous. He had been trying to talk himself into it all period with a little help from his dear friends. 

_You’re a very nice looking boy, why wouldn’t he want to talk to you?_

_All you have to do is say hi, introduce yourself! You can do it!_

_You’re very smart, you could always offer to help him study!_

_Wonder what his lips taste like…_

That last one, that nasty personality, made him shudder. Edward had never even kissed anyone before and he was immediately uncomfortable at the intruding thoughts. He had fantasized about such things when he was by himself, but never here at school! He tried to shut down all the lewd ideas invading his brain, fearful he wouldn’t be able to leave his desk without very obvious evidence of his physical interest. 

_What, don’t you want to know? It looks like he’s wearing lip gloss. Don’t you see how soft his mouth looks, how inviting… maybe it’s flavored. Only one way to find out!_

Shut up, shut up, shut up, he pleaded inside his head. Once the bell had rung, he practically leapt to his feet as he scrambled to gather up his books and notes. He saw the boy get up, heading to the door. His heart dropped, afraid he was going to leave before he had a chance to say hello. 

But no, the boy was standing by the door, patiently waiting and smiling at him. 

_Maybe it’s cherry?_

“ _Shut up_ ,” he hissed between clenched teeth, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and filing towards the door. The boy stepped out into the hallway, Edward quickly following. 

The boy was leaning against the wall to avoid the traffic of their fellow students, offering out his hand as he purred, “Oswald Cobblepot.” 

Edward noticed he had extended his hand palm down, as if he expected it to be kissed. If Edward had been a little braver, he certainly would have. He opted to take it all the same, shivering at how warm and small the other’s hand felt in his own. “Edward. Edward Nygma.” 

Oswald didn’t let go of Edward’s hand, asking sweetly, “Maybe you could show me around, Edward? New here and all, I don’t really know my way yet.” 

Edward was grinning shyly, thrilled that Oswald was squeezing his hand so tightly. “Absolutely. It would be my pleasure, Mr. Cobblepot.” 

“Please, call me Oswald.” 

“May I walk you to your next class, Oswald?” Edward asked politely. 

“That would be lovely,” he cooed, very pleased. 

Edward’s face flushed softly, walking down the hall hand in hand with this charming boy. “So, Oswald. Where did you move from?” 

“North Gotham,” Oswald replied with a shrug. “This school is much better. It’s so much bigger and I do love being so close to downtown. I heard you all have a lovely auditorium!” 

“We do,” Edward nodded. He had only been there for mandatory school meetings and science fairs. “Are you… a performer?” 

“Yes!” Oswald looked proud. “I act, I sing, I dance. I simply _adore_ theater. Both of my parents were on the stage, I plan to follow in their footsteps. What about you, Edward? What are you _passionate_ about?” 

Pretty boys with dark hair and bright eyes at the moment, he thought, but instead replied, “Nothing quite that exciting! But I do play piano. And I enjoy puzzles, brain teasers; things like that.” 

“Oh? How long have you been playing piano?” Oswald slowly tangled their fingers together, teasing, “You have such strong hands, I bet you’re absolutely wonderful!” 

Edward felt a shudder, the memory of the fall board snapping over his fingers and his father’s voice screaming at him for making a mistake. He was six. He ignored the memory and the urge to pull his hand away from Oswald, smiling as he said, “Since I was a child. Perhaps I can play for you sometime.” 

“I would like that, very much,” Oswald gushed, beaming happily. 

They chatted like that for several minutes as they walked, Edward telling him mundane things like how much he liked to read and to always avoid the bathroom by the shop class because it constantly overflowed. Oswald hung on every word, excitedly explaining how thrilled he was to be here, and he couldn’t wait to join the drama club. 

Edward couldn’t stop watching the way Oswald’s eyes lit up as he spoke, the adorable way he would tilt his head to punctuate certain words. Edward was completely charmed, never having known any thrill that could compare to this. Oswald was actually _listening_ to him, smiling at him so kindly. He didn’t want this moment to end, but he knew they were almost at their destination. 

As they approached Oswald’s class, there was a small group of students waiting by the door. A blonde girl took one look at Oswald’s outfit and made a face, laughing mockingly, “Oh, wow, nice coat!” 

Oswald turned his head, not sensing the malice right away. He smiled, about to offer his gratitude for the compliment, but the girl jeered, “What dumpster did you pull it out of?” 

Edward’s eyes narrowed, and the most peculiar feeling was coming over him. His palms were sweaty, his heart started to thump heavily up in his throat. How dare she insult his _friend_. He was angry; he couldn’t believe how angry he was! There was a pressure building inside of him and threatening to give way at any moment. 

_Hit her._

“The same one you woke up in, judging by the smell!” Oswald shot back with a nasty smile, snapping Edward out of his spell. There was a small eruption of laughter from some of the students that had heard him. 

Edward blinked, gasping softly as the rage slowly faded. Even though it didn’t speak again, the voice seemed disappointed in him. He had no idea what had come over him, but grateful and impressed that Oswald was clearly able to handle himself. He had never been much for standing up to bullies, choosing to flee instead of risk confrontation. 

But Oswald, no, he was _fearless_. He was a king, and the school hallway had become his court. All the other students were staring now, a few had even stopped walking to watch the spat unfold. 

“Screw you, freak!” the girl cried, angry and embarrassed. 

“Maybe before you start coming for other people, you should check yourself first,” Oswald went on, absolutely relentless. He loved the way everyone was watching, he had an audience, and he was absolutely _living_ for this. 

“Buy some quality deodorant, I wasn’t kidding about that smell. And, oh! You should definitely find a foundation closer to your natural skin tone.” Oswald batted his eyes, sweetly advising, “Chin straps are for helmets, not for faces.” 

The girl was mortified, her hand clutching at her skin. “You… you!” Any response she might have mustered was swallowed up in the laughter erupting from the other students. 

The girl jumped in Oswald’s face and hissed furiously, “I will not forget this, freak!” It was barely audible over the noise, her face set in a bitter snarl as she stomped off. 

Oswald gave a little bow amidst a wave of cheering, completely confident, smirking proudly at Edward. He shrugged his shoulders, chuckling, “All in a good day’s work.” 

“You are my hero,” Edward said, genuinely awestruck. 

“What? For telling her off?” Oswald waved his hand dismissively. 

“That was Barbara Kean,” Edward said, still shocked. “She is absolutely one of the most vile people that has ever walked the earth. She’s a monster.” 

“My dear Edward,” Oswald said, squeezing his hand softly. “People like her? They’re not really monsters, you know. They’re only humans playing nasty little parts. You can’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.” 

_But you are. You’re afraid all the time._

Edward frowned, an overwhelming sadness overtaking him. He hated how true it was. 

_Poor little mouse… don’t cry now. You’ve been doing so well!_

Oswald was concerned, seeing Edward’s expression shift. He gave his hand a gentle tug and soothing, “Hey… are you all right? Was it something I said?” 

“No! Not at all. I’m fine,” Edward said, putting on a fake smile. He lifted his head as the bell rang, warning them that class was going to begin soon and they only had a few more minutes. “My next class is right down the hall. I could walk with you again afterwards…?” 

“Absolutely.” Oswald brightened back up, holding onto Edward’s hand until the very last moment as he pulled himself away. He smiled, dazzling and sweet, sighing happily, “Until then.” 

“‘Til then,” Edward said, his smile warming. 

He stayed until Oswald disappeared into class, a little pep in his step as he moved along. For once, the only thoughts in his head were his own, blissful and content. 

A friend; he’d made a friend. A beautiful friend who was fearless and brave and had the most amazing eyes and had held his hand. Edward feared he may have dreamed it all. Nothing like this ever happened to him, not ever. 

He had never been so happy and he couldn’t wait to see Oswald’s smiling face again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, baby Nygmobblepot! I hope Oswald came off as sassy as I wanted him to be. I really imagine young Oswald being particularly feisty! XD


	7. The Sad Tale of Mister Goose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim tries to make amends with Harvey, but it ends up being much more trouble than he anticipated.

The second day of school was not nearly as eventful as the first; at least, not until lunchtime. 

Harvey Bullock was out behind the cafeteria, sneaking a cigarette and enjoying the little bit of sunshine that had managed to sneak through the muggy Gotham sky. He plopped down on the ground, his shoulders aching from unloading multiple deliveries at the store last night. He closed his eyes, cigarette hanging from his lip, and he leaned back on his hands. He let himself relax, enjoying a rare moment of peace. 

He didn’t think about the bills that were due or how his backpack still had a lingering unpleasant odor even after washing it twice. He let his mind go completely blank. Well, not completely. A certain young blonde kept popping back up into his thoughts. Jim Gordon. 

Handsome, perfectly sweet Jim Gordon; whom he’d been a royal douche nozzle to yesterday. Harvey did feel a small twinge of regret over the whole thing, but he didn’t have the time or the energy to put into being the new guy’s best buddy. He had real shit to worry about. 

He heard footsteps approaching, but ignored it. He wanted just a little bit longer just like this, feeling the warm sunlight on his face… which was now blocked because the owner of the footsteps was standing right in front of him. 

Harvey peeked open his eyes, glaring upwards. 

Jim Gordon was standing over him, his expression determined and unwavering. 

“Persistent fucking thing, aren’t you?” Harvey snorted, flicking the ashes of his cigarette. Fuck, of course it was him. Who else. 

“Look,” Jim huffed, ready to launch into the rant he had been rehearsing in his head all day, “What you did yesterday was completely uncalled for and petty. You-” 

“Mind moving over like a foot?” 

“W-what?” 

“You’re in my sun,” Harvey drawled, blowing smoke out through his nose. 

Jim rolled his eyes, but obliged, sidestepping over until the small patch of sunlight was hitting Harvey again. “Now, as I was saying! What you did was completely petty. A _mature_ person could have simply told me they wanted to eat alone. But _you_ were a total _asshole_!” He had originally planned to call Harvey a child, but curses were quickly slipping into his speech. He couldn’t stand how smug the redhead looked, gazing up at him as if he was bored. “And you chose to fucking embarrass me. In front of the whole damn school, by the way!” 

Harvey tilted his head, wondering if there was a point to this. He had hoped his little stunt yesterday would keep the precious Boy Scout from bothering him, but he was nothing if not apparently quite stubborn. He wasn’t sure what Jim was hoping to accomplish here, but he wasn’t really in the mood. “Look, dude, you-” 

“No,” Jim snapped. “I’m not fucking done yet.” 

Harvey’s eyes narrowed, biting the end of his cigarette and slowly climbing to his feet. This had all been real cute right until this moment. He really didn’t like people yelling at him, and his patience was quickly evaporating. This kid had exactly until the last puff of Harvey’s cigarette before he got popped right in the mouth. 

Jim held back the gulp rising up in his throat - damn, Harvey was tall - and stood his ground. He stared up at him, his jaw tight as he went on, “It’s real shitty to be awful to someone who was just trying to be nice. But my dad always told me to be better than the people around you. Someone at their worst is an opportunity for you to be at your best. So, here.” He reached into his pack, fumbling around and shoving something into Harvey’s chest. 

Harvey grabbed at it on instinct, blinking in surprise. It was his t-shirt, clean and neatly folded. He had forgotten all about it. The fucking Boy Scout really had washed it for him. He didn’t even know what to say, nursing the cigarette between his lips thoughtfully. 

“Here’s your stupid shirt,” Jim was saying, “And… you…” He realized he hadn’t really thought of a strong conclusion to his fiery rant, stuttering for a strong closing statement. “You’re a dick.” 

Harvey exhaled a lazy trail of smoke, tossing his cigarette butt away and trying to decide what to do. Could still totally hit him. His eyes trailed over Jim’s face, settling on his lips, and he was suddenly thinking of something else he’d rather be doing to him. 

Jim seemed to sense it, his ears burning, taking a step backwards. He hadn’t realized how close they had been until he had to move away, clearing his throat and realizing he didn’t have anything else to say. Harvey hadn’t responded, and Jim was determined to leave this on a positive note. 

Harvey’s silence seemed about as positive of a response as he was gonna get, and he would take what he could get. 

Head held high, Jim walked away, stepping back around the corner and letting out a shaky breath when he was sure that he was out of sight. Holy crap, was his heart pounding. He was almost giddy from the adrenaline rush. He was proud of himself for sticking to his plan and felt he had handled it well. 

And being so close to Harvey, the way he was looking at him… 

He didn’t even notice that Harvey had stepped out practically right behind him, distracted by two large guys crossing right in front of him. He tried to step around them, but they blocked his path again. “Excuse me,” he said flatly, trying to give a friendly smile. 

The larger of the two guys ignored Jim, not letting him pass, looking past him and calling out, “Hey, Harvey, is this yours?” 

“He looks like one of yours,” the other guy taunted, reaching out and fluffing Jim’s hair. “ _Real_ pretty.” 

“Hey, stop that!” Jim snarled, pushing away the intruding touch. He knew every school had its bullies, but he wasn’t sure why he was being targeted. No matter the reason, he wasn’t about to put up with it. He didn’t care how big these assholes were. 

The two guys laughed at Jim’s defiance, mockingly cooing in fear and the bigger one snickered, “Ooo, we got ourselves a tough guy!” 

“Aw, what’s wrong, Flass?” Harvey taunted, making Jim jump. He’d had no idea that Harvey was so close. “Mister Goose not doin’ it for you like he used to?” 

Jim froze as he felt Harvey’s arm swing protectively around his shoulders, pulling him back against his side. He wanted to shove him away, but the affection felt safe and made his stomach turn somersaults. 

Flass growled, advancing until he was right in Harvey’s face. The boys were about the same height, but Flass was easily twice as wide as Harvey. Even so, Harvey didn’t seem the least bit bothered. 

“What?” Harvey challenged, tipping his head forward and making a lewd smacking sound with his lips. “You wanna go, big guy? I mean, I’m not as pretty as Jimmy boy here, and I don’t quite have the raw sex appeal as Mister Goose-” 

“Fuck you, Harvey-” 

“Eh, no thanks,” Harvey shot back. “I only give to charity once a year, and I just gave Jimbo here a big ol’ mouthful. Maybe if you bought me dinner?” 

“You are so fucking dead,” Flass was seething. 

“I really like Chinese,” Harvey was saying, completely calm and unrepentant. 

Jim was in a bit of shock, feeling as if he was witnessing a nuclear bomb seconds away from exploding. He couldn’t believe the things Harvey was saying or how it made him blush to imagine Harvey giving him a mouthful of anything. The air was tense, Flass was practically shaking with rage. Harvey was chill, acting as if this was nothing more than a casual conversation between good friends. But there, Jim could see, there was a flicker of fire burning in those green eyes. 

Harvey may have appeared calm, but he was ready to throw down without any hesitation. 

“You and your little boyfriend are fucking road kill, you hear me?” Flass was snarling. 

“Oooo, or Italian.” Harvey nodded sagely. “Italian is always good.” 

The guy accompanying Flass swatted at his arm, hissing loudly, “Teacher’s coming! C'mon, Arnold!” He began to retreat, urging Flass to follow with sharp jerks of his head. 

“Not over!” Flass promised, following his friend’s lead and headed back inside the school. The teacher who had appeared stared at them all quizzically for a few seconds, but didn’t linger once it seemed like everything was all right. 

“Who the fuck was that,” Jim breathed out, his teeth clenched tight. 

“Carlos Alvarez and Arnold Flass,” Harvey answered. He eased his arm away from Jim, hesitating to elaborate. “You could say they’re not big fans of me.” 

“What, with that charming personality of yours?” Jim snorted, not daring to admit that he missed Harvey’s arm as soon as it was gone. “I can’t imagine why.” 

“Easy there,” Harvey retorted sharply. “You know, a little gratitude would be nice!” 

“Gratitude? For what!” 

“I just saved your ass, Boy Scout!” Harvey growled. He was getting the urge to hit Jim all over again. “Those two would have pounded your head into the ground if I hadn’t-” 

“What!” Jim roared impatiently. He couldn’t believe this guy! “It’s your fault they were even messing with me, because they thought I was with you and getting mouthfuls or whatever!” 

“Hey,” Harvey snapped, leaning dangerously close and sticking a finger right in Jim’s chest. “You’re the one that had the great idea to come find me in a secluded fucking spot to give me a stupid fucking shirt!” 

“I was _trying_ to do the right thing!” Jim cried, exasperated as he pushed Harvey away. 

“You’re a fucking idiot!” Harvey threw his hands up into the air, furious now. This was exactly why he didn’t have time for this shit. Now he’d have to spend the rest of the school year dodging Flass and Alvarez. He couldn’t afford getting suspended over fighting, he had too much to lose now! 

He wasn’t sure why he had stepped in to help Jim or what had possessed him to say all that crazy shit. He tried to tell himself that it truly was an act of charity. It was his good deed for the year, saving Jim Gordon’s ass; even though now he was certain it would come back and bite him somewhere tender. 

“You’re a fucking dick!” Jim was trembling with anger. All he wanted to do was return this asshole’s shirt and now he had garnered the very unwanted attention of two much larger assholes. This year sucked so much already. “And who the fuck is Mister Goose?!” 

Harvey’s face went blank, then he suddenly burst into wild laughter. He nearly keeled over, snickering so loudly he nearly gave himself a coughing fit. “Oh, shit!” 

“What’s so damn funny?” Jim demanded. 

Harvey had to actually wipe tears from his eyes. “Oooo, fuck,” he wheezed, still giggling. He gestured back toward the school, grinning, “I’ve been stuck with that prick since elementary school. Mister Goose was this stuffed animal he used to jack off with.” 

Jim looked horrified and equally confused. “He used to…” His nose wrinkled up as he considered the logistics of such a thing. He forgot how angry he was with Harvey, asking urgently, “Wait, how?” 

“Damn,” Harvey sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. “All those good looks and no fucking imagination.” 

Jim froze up. He still didn’t understand how anyone could pleasure themselves with a stuffed animal and oh, did Harvey just say he was good looking? 

The bell rang, interrupting his thoughts. 

“Look, kid,” Harvey was saying, “You run into any trouble with them, you let me know. But other than that, keep like a minimum of twenty feet between us at all fucking times, got it? I ain’t your friend, I ain’t your fucking buddy. Clear?” 

“Crystal,” Jim confirmed, scowling. 

“Good,” Harvey said. The conversation felt over, but neither one of them moved. It was hard not to stare at Jim. He was stupid and stubborn and brave and he had felt so warm and ugh, Harvey had to get away from him as quickly as possible. He tilted his head, sighing in frustration as he added begrudgingly, “And thanks for my shirt.” 

Jim brightened immediately, replying, “You’re welcome. I really-” 

“Don’t care! Not friends!” Harvey sang out as he walked off towards his next class, leaving Jim to stew by himself. He didn’t look back, eyes forward, praying that he wouldn’t have to see Jim again for the rest of the damn year. 

He pushed his way through the halls towards his next destination, photography class. He wasn’t the most creative guy in the world, but he had to have an arts elective and figured there was a good chance he couldn’t fuck this up too spectacularly. How hard could it be? Take pictures of stuff, done. 

Jim watched Harvey leave, giving the other plenty of time to get a head start. After that rude departure, he didn’t want to risk running into him again so soon. He dug around in his backpack to find his schedule, wanting to double check what class he had next. 

This day was turning just as rotten as yesterday, he had decided, maybe worse. He could have gone the rest of forever without knowing what Harvey Bullock’s arm felt like around him. God, he hoped he could avoid Harvey for a little while. The rest of the century would be good. He sighed, resigned to his misery for now, finally retrieving the elusive piece of paper and finding what his next class was. 

It was something he’d always been interested in and he had been so excited when he saw Gotham High offered it as an elective: 

Photography.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I ran into a problem. Somewhere along the way, this turned into a Gordlock centric fic. I do intend to go back eventually to write more with Oswald and Edward, but currently Harvey and Jim have taken over. The next, like, six chapters are all Gordlock. Helps! This ship will be the death of meeee! D:


	8. Take A Picture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim end up in the same class together, who woulda thought?!
> 
> Mild smutty closet shenanigans are afoot!

Jim Gordon was determined to enjoy the rest of the school day. He was really looking forward to photography class and still holding out hope he would make some friends. It was only the second day, he told himself. 

So far, he admitted, things hadn’t been going so well. 

Last night, he had really thought that washing the shirt for Harvey was the right thing to do. It would make things square between them and perhaps things could be nicer. Even after how horrible Harvey had been, Jim wanted to connect with him. There was something in the other boy he was drawn to that he couldn’t explain. He was hopeful that maybe, just maybe, he and Harvey could be friends. 

And maybe, just maybe, he hoped there was something else there, something more. He had caught himself sniffing the shirt before he quickly tossed it into the washer, repulsed at himself for what he had just done. He must have been going nuts. Even so, he tried hanging onto the scent even as he went to bed that night and practiced what he was going to say tomorrow when he confronted Harvey. 

After what had just happened outside, Jim was angry at himself for ever thinking they could get along. Harvey was a total jerk! He was crass and arrogant and he hated how good Harvey had smelled when he had his arm around him. It was definitely better than trying to catch a faded whiff from his shirt that he would never ever admit to doing. Ulgh. 

He walked into the classroom, eyes scanning for a spot to sit. Instead of desks, there were worktables with only two chairs set up side by side at each one. Most of them were already taken and rapidly filling, but he noticed an open seat in the back corner of the classroom. He started to step that way, eager for the chance to meet someone new. Here, here was a chance to make a friend and... oh, no. 

_Harvey_ was sitting there. Well, not exactly sitting; more like lounging. His feet were propped up on the table and he was leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed. 

Jim groaned softly, seeing he was already out of other places to sit. He couldn’t do this. He could not have a class with this dick hole, not sitting right next to him! It was only the second day, Harvey could still register for another class. Jim was not going to let this stand. 

He stalked over to the desk, slapping at Harvey’s feet. “Hey!” 

Harvey sat up abruptly, his eyes sleepy as he stared up at Jim. “What? It’s been like ten fucking minutes.” He looked serious, demanding, “Those ass clowns already giving you more shit? What happened?” 

“No!” Jim hissed, although he did like how concerned Harvey seemed. “It’s you! What are you doing here?” 

“I was trying to nap,” Harvey replied dryly. 

“No! This class!” 

“I was trying to nap in this class, yes. You caught me.” 

Jim wanted to strangle him. “I’m taking this class!” 

“Congratulations?” Harvey rolled his eyes, kicking his feet back up. 

“Can’t you take another class? I am _not_ spending the rest of the year stuck with you!” 

Harvey scowled, snapping, “No! Why don’t _you_ take another fucking class!” 

“Because I actually want to learn about photography!” 

“Find somewhere else to fucking sit and get over it,” Harvey snorted. He looked around the room and his scowl deepened. All the other seats were taken, he realized. He shook his head, moaning, “Oh, no, no, no. Fuck all the way off. Twenty feet, remember? Now, look. I need this class-” 

“To sleep in? No! I _want_ to take this class and-” 

“Fuck you! I need a fucking elective and-” 

“Why are you so mean! I want this! Take something else, just-” 

“Suck my fucking dick!” Harvey dropped one of his feet, legs spread wide and pointing right at his crotch. “Not going anywhere, Boy Scout.” 

All the blood rushed up into Jim’s head, and he thought he was going to pass out from the lewd display. 

“Please take your seats!” the teacher announced loudly, glancing over at Jim and clearing his throat. 

Jim’s face flushed, defeated, plopping down in the chair next to Harvey. He made sure to scoot all the way down at the other end of the table, giving him the dirtiest look he could muster. 

Harvey lowered his hand below the top of the table so the teacher couldn’t see and flipped Jim off, smiling sweetly. 

Jim made a face and did his best to ignore him. 

“Welcome to photography!” the teacher said amicably. “My name is Mr. Groat and I hope we’re going to have a great year together!” He went on about how much he loved photography, and all the different projects they would be working on in the weeks to come. 

Jim was starting to zone out a little, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. He couldn’t take a class with Harvey, he just couldn’t. But Harvey was being a total jerk, as usual, and refusing to switch out. Jim knew he could change classes, but he didn’t want to give in so easily. Besides, he had wanted this class so much. 

Maybe sitting with Harvey wouldn’t be so terrible. He didn’t have to speak to him after all. He could spend the rest of the year ignoring him. 

“And your first assignment will be something easy. A portrait of the person sitting next to you! For the rest of this class, the student beside you will be your partner for all our group assignments.” 

Or not. Shit! 

Jim was about to protest, but to his surprise Harvey was raising his hand. 

“Yes? Mr. Bullock?” Mr. Groat seemed to already know Harvey and was not apparently a fan judging by his tone. 

“Uh, yeah, I can’t work with him,” Harvey said, thumbing over at Jim. 

“Why not?” 

“He tried to touch me in my no-no place,” Harvey said, completely serious. 

“I did not!” Jim yelled, blushing furiously. The class giggled softly and once again, Jim wanted to melt off onto the floor and die because of Harvey Bullock. 

Mr. Groat was not amused, having dealt with Harvey’s shenanigans before. He sighed, replying calmly, “Mr. Bullock. Please be quiet.” 

“But Mr. G! Come on!” Harvey pleaded. 

“Not another word,” Mr. Groat warned. “Now. For those of you that don’t have a camera, I have a few you can sign out temporarily…” 

As the teacher went on, Jim scooted back towards Harvey, growling under his breath, “What is wrong with you!” 

“I have to pass this class,” Harvey hissed back. “You’re gonna fuck this all up!” 

“Me?” Jim gasped, his voice getting louder without realizing. “You’re the one who keeps-” 

“Mr. Bullock and friend!” Mr. Groat interrupted sharply. “Last warning.” 

Jim and Harvey glared at each other before resigning to stay silent for the rest of class. He was thankful when the bell rang, following after Harvey into the hallway and tugging at his arm. “Hey!” 

“What!” Harvey snapped, jerking away from him. 

“We have to talk about the assignment,” Jim glowered. 

“Fine,” Harvey groaned, jerking his head for Jim to follow him as he walked towards his next class. “Fucking talk.” 

“Well,” Jim began, staying close. “We could meet up after school, go ahead and get it done so then we don’t have to deal with each other until the next one.” 

“Deal!” Harvey said quickly. “When?” 

“What about tonight?” 

“Can’t, I got work,” Harvey replied, turning a corner and stopping short. He scooted to a halt so suddenly that Jim ran right into him. “Fuck!” 

“What!” Jim demanded. And then he saw. 

Arnold Flass and Carlos Alvarez, along with four other guys; all staring right at them. Flass pointed their way, shouting, “You! You two are dead!” 

“Fuckkkk! Come on!” Harvey grabbed Jim’s wrist and yanked, turning around and racing back down the hall the way they came. There was a closet door, and Harvey pulled out a set of keys from his pocket, quickly unlocking it. It was a small janitor supply closet and very cramped. 

“We aren’t going to both fit!” Jim protested. 

“Shut up and get in!” Harvey snarled. “Unless you wanna play with Flass and his friends?” 

Jim grunted as Harvey pushed him, stepping inside. This was great, just great. Harvey squished up beside him and shut the door before anyone could see them. It was dark and the space was so limited that they were forced to stand chest to chest. 

Jim could feel Harvey’s breath on his face, swallowing nervously. He was off balance, his back bumping against the wall. 

Harvey’s hand was on his shoulder to steady him, and it lingered. 

“Why are we hiding?” Jim demanded. 

“Uh, because there’s six of them and only two of us?” Harvey snorted, tilting his head down to look at Jim. 

Jim fidgeted, the warmth of Harvey’s body up against his made his mouth dry. He licked his lips, his eyes adjusting to the darkness around them. He could make out the general shape of Harvey’s face, the light from underneath the door just enough to catch his eyes. 

Harvey shifted, his other hand moving against the wall above Jim to prevent himself from pressing too tightly. He was trying to think of anything else; cold showers, raw sewage, dead kittens; anything else except the handsome blonde currently pinned beneath him. 

Jim’s hands fumbled for somewhere to rest, settling awkwardly on Harvey’s chest. He heard Harvey’s breath draw in softly, glancing up to see that Harvey’s face was hovering right over his. Oh, God. He was grateful it was dark so the red coloring his cheeks couldn’t be seen. 

“So,” Jim whispered. 

“Shut up,” Harvey warned, but there was no real anger behind it. 

“Why do you have keys for the school?” 

“If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you,” Harvey drawled, and Jim could see a hint of a smile. 

“Fine,” Jim said. He cringed when he heard the bell ring, cautioning them they were going to be late for their next class. “Fuck. You still think they’re out there?” 

“Hey, by all means,” Harvey chuckled softly. “Stick your head out and see, huh?” 

“How long do we have to stay in here?” 

“Do you ever shut up?” Harvey wondered. 

Jim scowled, shoving him away. 

There was nowhere for Harvey to go, his back immediately bumping into the opposite wall. He growled, grabbing Jim’s shirt and pressing back up against him as he hissed, “Really? You wanna start a fight _in here_?” 

Jim smacked at Harvey’s grip, trying to pull at his wrist. “You-you started it!” 

“You pushed me first!” 

Jim tried to buck up, but Harvey firmly pushed his hips forward so he couldn’t move. “Because you’re such an asshole!” 

Harvey struggled to ignore Jim’s body rubbing up against him, but it was getting hard; in more than ways than one. “Will you _please_ stop that!” 

“Let go of me and-oh!” Jim gasped softly. What was _that_. 

Harvey grumbled, “Shut the fuck up.” 

Jim tilted his hips curiously and gasped again. That was definitely exactly what he thought it was; hard, and _big_ , digging right into him. 

Harvey’s hands grabbed Jim’s sides to keep him from moving any more, pleading, “Fucking quit it.” 

“You have, you,” Jim stuttered, “How can you, like, right now!” 

“Oh, gee, I dunno,” Harvey said, pretending to sound mystified. “Maybe because I got a hot guy rubbing his fucking junk up on me!” 

“I am not rubbing-!” 

“Shut upppp,” Harvey begged, his fingers digging in. 

The bell rung, and Jim groaned in frustration. Class had started, and now they were late. “Fucking awesome.” 

“Look,” Harvey grunted, “We’ll just wait a few more minutes and those assholes should be gone, okay?” 

“And what about _that_!” Jim demanded, nodding down at Harvey’s crotch. 

“That will go away when it’s fucking ready, okay!” Harvey tilted his head, taunting, “Unless you wanna take care of it for me?” 

“What? No!” Jim hated how his heart was pounding, realizing that the very thought of touching Harvey down there was putting his own body in the exact same predicament. All of the blood in his body was fighting to either fuel his loins or rush into his face. 

“Why, Boy Scout,” Harvey teased, grinding their hips together when he realized Jim was getting just as hard. Oh, this was stupid, but damn it felt good. He sighed, his hands slowly dipping down underneath the edge of Jim’s shirt. “I do believe you’re sweet on me.” 

Jim choked on whatever words tried to leave his mouth, his hands pressing against Harvey’s chest. He had intended to push him away, but found his fingers curling into the fabric of Harvey’s shirt. He was panting, knowing he couldn’t deny it. 

Harvey’s hands felt rough and calloused, but his touch was gentle against Jim’s bare skin. His thumbs slowly rolled over his stomach, tracing over each lean muscle. Yup. This was totally stupid. But Jim wasn’t pushing him away; in fact, he was pulling him closer. 

Jim wanted to kiss him. Their lips were so close, Harvey’s hands felt so good. He leaned in, feeling the softest brush of Harvey’s mouth and almost moaned. 

Oh, Harvey was going to hate himself for this; but it didn’t feel right. He’d been awful to this kid, who very clearly liked him in spite of everything he had done, and it wouldn’t be fair. Fuck. He couldn’t do it. 

Harvey pulled his hands away, tilting his head up to resist what was possibly the greatest temptation of his entire life. “Shit,” he mumbled softly. He tried to put as much distance between them as possible, saying quickly, “Look. Just… I’ll go first. Wait a few minutes and then leave, okay?” 

“What, wait!” Jim was shocked. Hadn’t they just been about to kiss? Why was Harvey stopping? Rejection crept over him and turned his stomach sour. It felt like this was some sick joke, and Jim was furious for letting himself get so carried away. “You…! You!” 

“I’m an asshole, I know,” Harvey said quickly. He was already regretting this, but he couldn’t take advantage of this kid. He was already in way too deep. He opened the door, checking to make sure the way was clear. He turned around to catch a glimpse of Jim, and it took every ounce of will power he had not to jump right back into the closet with him. 

Jim’s face and neck were flushed, looking beautifully desperate, the bulge in his jeans making Harvey’s own ache painfully. Fuck! 

“Hey,” Harvey said, flashing a smug grin to hide behind, “Not too late to change classes, you know!” 

Jim’s face contorted in rage, embarrassed and frustrated. “Oh, fuck you, you-” 

The door slammed promptly in his face, Jim shaking his fists in anger. He wanted to yell, he wanted to scream. He wanted to forget how warm Harvey’s hands felt against his skin, how much he wanted to taste his lips, how he wanted to touch him all over - Oh, how he hated Harvey Bullock! He _hated_ him so much!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, c'mon. Like you really think I'd let them kiss THAT easily. BWUHAHAHA.


	9. Clever Title Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey better work out their crap if they're gonna stay in class together.

The next few days of class went by without much incident. Jim Gordon avoided Harvey Bullock at all costs, not to mention staying away from Arnold Flass and his buddies. He was quickly sucked into the familiar routine of homework and studying, already feeling overwhelmed, and the week wasn’t even over yet. 

As he struggled to stay on top of his school work, his thoughts often drifted back to hiding out in the janitor’s closet with Harvey. He didn’t understand why Harvey had teased him like that. It was down right cruel and embarrassing. He didn’t know what Harvey’s problem was, and he was dreading having to see him in photography class again. 

He wished his father was here to talk to. He was too nervous to discuss this with his mother, but he felt like he could have opened up to his father. Maybe leave out a few of the details, like Harvey feeling him up and how good it felt, but he wished he knew what to do. He desperately wanted advice. 

Maybe he should just switch out the class. He still had time, but that felt like giving up, and Gordons never gave up. There had to be some way to work through this. 

The time came to face Harvey again, and he mustered up his courage. He marched into class with his head held high, not even bothering to give Harvey a single glance as he took his seat beside him. 

Okay, maybe just one or two glances. 

Harvey was leaned back in his chair, feet propped up as before, and sound asleep. His clothes were wrinkled as if he’d worn them the day before, but he looked peaceful. 

Jim scoffed softly. What the hell, did this kid just never sleep? Probably staying up all night partying or something, the jerk. He resisted the temptation to tip Harvey’s chair back, but he did reach over to give him a small tap to wake him up as Mr. Groat walked in. 

Harvey grumbled, his feet hitting the floor as he sat up. He frowned at Jim and scooted forward, burying his head on the table. 

Jim rolled his eyes, sighing. At least if Harvey was asleep, he couldn’t bother him. 

Mr. Groat took attendance, not even seeming to notice or care that Harvey was sleeping. Class went on as usual, ending with a firm reminder that their first assignment was due on Monday. 

Damn, the portrait. Jim scowled, glaring at his snoozing would-be partner. They had to get that done! 

The bell rang to announce the end of class, but Harvey still didn’t stir. Jim shoved him, snapping, “Hey! Wake up.” 

“What!” Harvey growled, lifting his head up and glaring sleepily at Jim. 

“Class is over,” Jim said curtly. “And we still have an assignment to do.” 

“So?” 

“It’s due Monday! And you said you gotta pass this class, right?” 

“Fine,” Harvey moaned, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “After school?” 

“Unless you got somewhere else to be,” Jim snorted. 

“Not tonight.” 

“Just meet me out front and we can do it here somewhere.” 

Harvey couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Do it, huh?” 

“I hate you,” Jim growled, instantly regretting his choice of words. 

“Hey, you’re the one talkin’ about _doin’ it_ ,” Harvey chuckled. 

“The assignment! Doing the assignment! Fuck!” Jim huffed, turning around and stomping off as quickly as possibly. How could that asshole still be flirting with him after everything! Ulgh! 

His frustration managed to simmer down to light annoyance by the time the last bell rung. He headed out front amidst the fleeing hordes of students, eyes peeled for the tall redhead. He spotted him down by the sidewalk, lighting up a cigarette. 

“You ready?” Jim wasn’t in the mood to be friendly. He wanted to get this over with. 

“I gotta go by my place,” Harvey said, inhaling sharply. “I gotta get my camera. Don’t you?” He raised a skeptical brow, asking, “You don’t actually carry yours around with you?” 

“Yes, I do,” Jim snorted. “Like I said, I really like photography, jackass.” 

“Easy! So soon with the pet names?” Harvey took another drag, smirking. 

Jim hated how perfectly smug he looked, growling, “You are fucking unbelievable!” Screw it, screw the class, screw everything. He started to leave, his mind already made up to drop the class, but he felt Harvey’s hand on his arm. 

“Hey, hey,” Harvey sighed. He wasn’t rough, but he didn’t let go. “Look, I sometimes say really stupid shit, okay?” 

“Stating the obvious is your way of apologizing?” 

“For fuck’s sake.” Harvey was annoyed. “I’m fucking making an effort here, okay? I’m sorry for being a dick, all right? Fuck! I’m not real great at being friendly.” 

“You don’t say!” Jim gasped. 

“You ain’t exactly helping,” Harvey growled. 

“After what you did, what the hell do you expect?” 

“What?” Harvey honestly looked confused, the hurt clear as day on Jim’s face. It was raw and wounded, nearly tearful. Realization finally dawned on Harvey, saying quietly, “This is about the, uh, closet?” 

Jim finally pulled his arm away from Harvey, unable to hide his pout. “What else would it be?” 

“I’ve managed to rack up a pretty good list of offenses with you in a very short amount of time,” Harvey said, exhaling a lazy puff of smoke. “Just fucking checking, Boy Scout!” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

“Whatever. Look, I’m sorry. For you know, I don’t know, getting your hopes up?” 

“You are such an arrogant jerk!” 

“I’m fucking trying here!” Harvey grumbled, grabbing for Jim’s arm when he tried to walk away again. “Listen. I’m sorry for, you know… Doing that. It won’t right of me to make a move on you in a fucking closet.” Harvey was trying to be sincere, but it wasn’t something he had much experience with. “Hot guy up in my space, I wasn’t fucking thinking straight. Guy like you deserves better than that.” He took a deep breath, saying earnestly, “I’m sorry.” 

Jim appreciated the effort, mentally kicking himself for being so forgiving. He could tell Harvey really was trying. In a messed up way, it was actually a very sweet compliment about him deserving better than a janitor closet rendezvous. But even so, he didn’t want to give Harvey another chance to hurt him. The compliment didn’t matter. 

Jim shook his head, saying firmly, “Don’t try any shit like that again, okay?” 

“Not even if I bring you flowers?” Harvey grinned wide, but groaned in defeat when Jim was clearly not amused. “Yes, fine. I won’t. Happy now? C'mon. I only live a few blocks from here.” He started walking, waiting for Jim to fall into step beside him. 

Jim was satisfied with the apology, figuring it was the best he could expect out of Harvey. There was a nagging part of him that wanted to ask why he had stopped, why he had rejected him. Was it because Harvey really thought Jim deserved better? But better what; better than making out in a broom closet or making out with someone better than Harvey? He resisted the urge to clarify, but couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Did… did you mean it?” 

“Mean what?” Harvey asked, puffing at his cigarette. 

Jim blushed softly, shyly asking, “About me being… hot?” 

Harvey laughed, and oh, Jim adored how it made his whole face light up. “Oh, kid,” he sighed. “Trust me. The kind of stuff a guy like me wants to do with a guy like you? Pretty sure it’s illegal in most states.” 

Jim smiled. Now, _that_ was a compliment.


	10. Snap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey finish their first photography assignment together.

Harvey Bullock had been dreading this ever since he had slammed that closet door in Jim Gordon’s face. He didn’t expect the kid to understand that he wasn’t trying to be a jerk; he had actually been trying to do the right thing for once. There was a sweetness about Jim that he had been immediately attracted to. He was _genuine_ and he was _real_ ; and judging by how easily he had gotten flustered from Harvey’s wandering touch, pretty innocent to boot. 

Harvey’s hands were way too dirty to paw at something so nice. 

As they walked, however, Harvey began to suspect that he and Jim might have more in common than he first thought. It was a strange sense of sadness, something bitter, not unlike the anger that Harvey carried around on his shoulders. He wanted to ask Jim about it, but thought better of it. There was no sense trying to get to know this kid. 

He couldn’t get distracted chasing some cute tail around and getting all friendly. He had to get through this class, he had to _pass_ , and being tangled up with his new photography partner would not be a smart idea. Fuck, was he tempted though. 

He had to admit that the kid had actually taken everything pretty well. He had accepted Harvey’s apology, and things could be chill between them again. Just had to stick to the whole, keepin’ his hands to himself deal. Yup. Could totally do that. 

Something that had really surprised Harvey was when Jim asked him if he really thought he was hot. Anyone else asking a question like that, he would just think they were fishing for compliments. But Jim had seemed so _shy_ , so serious. Didn’t that kid have any idea what he looked like? 

Shit. Given the chance, Harvey wouldn’t mind showing Jim just how gorgeous he thought he was. 

Focus! Fuck! 

Harvey grunted softly, leading Jim to the elevator inside his apartment building and pressing the button for his floor. He blamed his lack of sleep for not thinking clearly. Working all night and going to class all day was quickly wearing on him. He couldn’t wait to sleep tonight. 

The elevator dinged open, Harvey nodding for Jim to follow him to his door. He hesitated as he put the key into the lock, turning to look at Jim. He had never brought anyone by his place in years, not since Mama had gotten sick. “Look,” he cautioned, “I’ll just be a minute. You can wait in the kitchen, but stay fucking quiet and stay put. Got it?” 

Jim was confused, but nodded. “Sure. Whatever.” 

Harvey opened the door, directing Jim to the kitchen. “Remember. No matter what you hear, stay put.” 

“Fine,” Jim said, taking out his camera from his backpack. He slung it around his neck, making a few adjustments to the lenses as he watched Harvey head into one of the bedrooms. 

He heard Harvey, talking low and gentle, “Hey, mama. How you doin’?” 

He heard a female voice, but it was too faint to make out. 

Curious, Jim crept a little closer. It was hard for him to imagine that feisty redhead speaking to anyone so sweetly. Harvey had left the door cracked open, enough that Jim could approach and hear more. 

“I’ll get your meds, you stay in bed,” Harvey was saying. “I gotta go out for a little bit, working on school stuff.” 

Jim peeked through the door, seeing a tiny woman cozied up in bed, frail, sick? Harvey was handing her something, probably the medicine he had mentioned. He looked so tender with her, like a completely different person. He was whispering now, words of comfort that Jim couldn’t make out. 

Jim didn’t know why, but he raised his camera. He captured a few quick shots, including one of Harvey kissing his mother’s forehead. This felt important in a way Jim couldn’t explain, like it had to be remembered. He quickly back pedaled into the kitchen, fearful that the snap of the shutter would draw Harvey’s attention. 

“Yeah, ma,” Harvey was saying softly, smiling. He hadn’t heard a thing, too busy talking to his mother and answering her questions about his day. “School was fine. I got somebody over. New guy, trying to help him out.” And not grope him at every possible opportunity. “We gotta go work on this project, I won’t be gone long, okay?” 

“Okay, darling,” his mother said, smiling weakly. “I’ll be fine. Go have fun with your friend.” 

Harvey gave her another kiss, shutting the door behind him and heading back into the kitchen. “One sec,” he told Jim, disappearing into his room. He dropped off his backpack and came back with his camera. “Let’s go.” 

They headed back downstairs, Jim finally getting the courage to ask, “Your mom okay?” 

“Peachy,” Harvey replied defensively, lighting up a cigarette as they stepped outside. 

“Sorry.” 

Harvey saw it again then, that sadness. Jim looked so miserable and hung his head as if Harvey had just kicked his damn puppy or something. He sighed, flicking the ash off his cigarette as he said, “It’s cancer. She’s been real bad off for years.” 

“You take care of her,” Jim said carefully. It was more of a statement than a question, it was obvious Harvey loved her very much. 

“Yeah,” Harvey said, shrugging. He continued to puff at his cigarette, adding quietly, “Somebody’s fucking got to.” 

“Where’s your dad?” Jim asked softly, digging the toe of his shoe into the ground. 

“Around,” was all Harvey would say. 

“But he’s alive?” Jim pressed. 

“The fuck do you care!” Harvey suddenly snapped. “We’re supposed to be taking a fucking picture, not goddamn twenty questions, right?” 

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Jim sputtered. He winced, trying to explain, “I just, I just wondered.” 

“Wondered what!” Harvey demanded, angrily snorting smoke. 

“If he was dead like mine,” Jim answered quietly. 

Harvey froze. Well, _fuck_ , he didn’t see that coming. On instinct, he wanted to reach out and put a hand on Jim’s shoulder. But he saw the way Jim stood up straighter, his chin tilted higher. This kid didn’t want his pity. “Shit, man. That sucks,” he said at last, not sure what else to say. 

“Yeah.” Jim continued to toe at the ground, saying quickly, “We, we should get the pictures done. Here.” He reached out for Harvey’s camera. “Won’t look too good if your camera’s in the shot, you know?” 

Harvey was beginning to understand Jim, at least a little. That sadness was from the loss of his father. And the bitterness? Trying to keep it all together. Harvey wanted to tell him he knew how he felt, at least in a way. He knew what it was like to put up a front, to hide the shit eating away at you. 

Instead, he handed his camera over, asking, “All right. What, uh, what do you want me to do?” 

Jim managed a smile, replying, “Just be your usual, charming self.” 

Harvey rolled his eyes, raising his hand to flip Jim off amidst a flurry of camera clicks. 

“Don’t!” Jim laughed. “I don’t think I can turn something in with your middle finger.” 

“Why not?” Harvey shrugged. “It’s fucking art!” 

Jim chuckled, grateful when Harvey lowered his hand and managed to get a few decent shots without any obscene gestures. Harvey was easy to photograph, his face expressive, and his eyes always seeming to sparkle as if he was up to no good. Even with the cigarette hanging from his mouth - no, _especially_ with the cigarette - he looked inviting, and perhaps even a little dangerous. 

“There,” Jim said, handing both cameras back over to Harvey. “My roll’s out. Your turn.” 

Harvey slung Jim’s around his neck, not wanting to risk dropping it. It looked like it cost ten times more than Harvey’s, definitely couldn’t afford to replace it. “All right,” he nodded his head, “I guess, just out here?” 

“Nah,” Jim said, “C'mon.” He started off back down the street, heading into the next alleyway over. He led Harvey in, gesturing to the graffiti. “Different background. I guess this one is really more fitting for you! But you know.” 

“You really do like this photography stuff, huh,” Harvey commented. He gestured for Jim to stand by the wall, laughing, “Well, come on. Strike a pose, Boy Scout.” 

Jim smiled shyly, leaning against the wall. He really didn’t like being on this side of things. He was awkward, stiff with the camera pointed right at him. 

“Gotta relax,” Harvey said. “You know, at least make an effort to not look completely miserable?” 

“I’m relaxed!” Jim exclaimed, scowling. 

“Oooo, angry! I like it!” Harvey taunted, the camera clicking right at Jim’s pouting face. “Think angry, raging thoughts. Someone just kicked you in the shins, stole your ice cream!” 

“You really are an asshole,” Jim sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck and unable to resist a smile. 

“Biggest asshole ever,” Harvey agreed, happy to capture Jim’s smile. He took a few more pictures and grinned, saying, “I think I’ve got it.” 

“Already?” Jim was surprised, but accepted his camera back, putting it away in his backpack. “All right, we just have to get the film developed and pick out what we want to turn in.” 

“I can do it tomorrow night,” Harvey offered. “Look, there’s a photo place right down from where I work. I’ll drop them off before I go in, and I can pick them up on my break.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” Jim said, blinking in surprise 

“Look,” Harvey said, crossing his arms and tapping the camera against his side. “I don’t do nice shit often, you know? Just think of it as my way of trying to help make shit right, okay?” 

Jim smiled softly, saying gently, “Maybe I misjudged you, Harvey.” 

Harvey stepped forward, smirking down at Jim. He was close enough that he could see the flutter of Jim’s eyelashes, asking smugly, “Oh? How’s that?” 

“You’re not quite as big of an asshole as I thought,” Jim replied, his pulse rising steadily. He immediately thought of their time in the closet, Harvey’s hands sliding underneath his shirt. He licked his lips, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. 

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Harvey raised his camera, grinning wickedly. “I have a few more shots left before the roll is done. You got any interest in boudoir photography?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Oh, you’re such a fucking pig!” Jim groaned, but he was laughing. 

“Duh.” 

Jim flipped open the back of the camera, handing over the roll of film. “There might be some stuff of me and my mom on there. Just, you know, so you’re not surprised when you get it developed.” 

Harvey smirked, teasing, “Any _naughty_ pictures I should be worried about? Maybe you wearing some lace panties? High heels?” 

“I was wrong, you are totally an asshole,” Jim chuckled. 

“Hey! A guy can dream.” Harvey put the roll in his pocket, trying not to let his imagination get away from him. They had just fixed things, and he didn’t want to screw it up again. 

Jim rolled his eyes, stepping back from Harvey. It was too easy to flirt and get caught back up in that sweet feeling. He smiled shyly, saying, “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you tomorrow. I mean, unless you’re still enforcing the whole mandatory distance of twenty feet thing?” 

Harvey tilted his head thoughtfully, suggesting, “I guess I could live with five.” 

“See you later, Harvey,” Jim laughed. 

“Later,” Harvey smirked, flashing a peace sign. 

Jim waved farewell, walking back towards the sidewalk and headed home. He was happy. It hadn’t been easy, but _finally_ , he had made a friend. 

Okay, sure, it was a friend that he still sort of wanted to kiss a teeny, tiny bit. But it was a start! With enough time, he felt confident he could get over this little crush. It was for the best, he decided. Harvey was probably a terrible kisser anyway, he told himself. They would be so much better off as friends. 

Jim was so happy, so excited, that he had completely forgotten about the pictures he had taken of Harvey with his mother. 

Harvey watched Jim depart, fully enjoying the view of his backside as walked away. Damn, he had a cute ass. Harvey was already thinking about being squished up against Jim in the closet again, all that lean muscle underneath his fingers, how hot his skin felt, the way he gasped at every little touch. 

Harvey ached wanting to know what Jim would taste like, what he would _sound_ like… and… well, shit. 

Harvey was so fucked. How the hell was he gonna be able to stay away from all of that, _all year long_. Showers, he told himself and his persistent erection, lots and lots of very long showers. He whined loudly, his head falling back and sighing. 

Fuck, he needed another cigarette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm. Those pictures Jim took in Harvey's apartment might maybe probably definitely come back to bite him in the ass.


	11. A Thousand Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey gets the pictures for their assignment developed and is not very happy with some of the images Jim took.

Harvey Bullock was jogging back to work, suddenly regretting every cigarette he’d ever smoked. He could barely breathe, his lungs burning as if they were full of embers, and he thought he might pass out. He finally made it to the alley beside the market, embarrassed at how hard he was panting. Fuck, he needed to quit smoking. 

He had this exact thought as he lit up a cigarette, pulling the packets of photographs from his pocket. He’d dropped the film off before work and raced the four blocks back over to the photo shop on his break to pick them up. He wasn’t sure why, but he was excited to see them. 

Okay, he reconsidered, he was excited to see the ones of Jim. 

School had been gone really well that day, and he was looking forward to the weekend. TGIF, all that shit. He and Jim had crossed paths rather benignly a few times, Harvey certain to forever deny how that damn goofy smile made his heart flip every time he saw it. Before the final bell rang, Jim had invited Harvey over to hang out at his place on Saturday. 

To go over the pictures, Jim had quickly explained amidst a wave of blushing and nervous laughter. 

Harvey said he would think about it, accepting Jim’s address and trying to look as bored as possible. Ha, as if Harvey could have refused him. The truth was he couldn’t wait. He hated to be away from his mother for very long, but it would just be a few hours before he headed into work. He couldn’t help how guilty he still felt for leaving her side, no matter the reason or how brief. 

Even while at work, knowing he was here to make money to help take care of their little family, he always felt drawn back home. He didn’t like that she was there by herself, barely able to make it to the bathroom on her own most days. He tried to make sure she had everything she needed within reach before he left, no matter how small or odd, so she wouldn’t have to risk getting out of bed unless it was totally necessary. 

Tissues? Bedside table. Remote for the television? In her hand. Extra batteries for the remote? Inside the the bedside table! 

Harvey was constantly worried that he would come home and find her… 

The thought crossed his mind almost daily, knowing that the time would come eventually. With the advanced state of her illness, it could happen at any moment. There would be that fateful day when he would come through that door, and she would be gone. 

But not today, he would always silently pray. Please not today. 

He took a long drag of his cigarette, pushing the depressing thoughts down into the back of his mind and pulling out the first packet of pictures. He took his time, quickly identifying these as the ones from his camera. A lot of the images were overexposed, and he wondered if he had been messing around with the camera when he was drunk. There were a few photos of the view from his bedroom window, and for reasons unknown, the bathtub. Yeah, must have been drinking. 

Finally, he got to the ones of Jim. 

As he flipped through them, it was like watching a little movie. Jim started out stiff as a statue, clearly uncomfortable. As the photos went on, the unease melted away, and he absolutely blossomed with warmth. There was one picture that immediately got Harvey’s attention, wishing now he’d gotten doubles. 

Jim was pressed back against the wall, his head tilted down, and he was looking away from the camera. His hand was at his neck, shy. But his smile, he was smiling so brightly, and in that moment Harvey had managed to capture? Jim looked so happy. 

Maybe Harvey would keep this one and turn in something else. Yeah, maybe. There were others he could choose, but this one was without a doubt the best out of the bunch. 

He tucked the photographs back into their folder, pulling the other one out of the pictures Jim took. 

There were images of an older woman with graying brown hair and big blue eyes like Jim, probably his mom. There were some shots of her and Jim together, strained smiles plastered across their lips. Boring. He flipped through much quicker than he had the others, but sadly, no secret naughty ones to be found. Oh, well. He always had his imagination to turn to. He stopped short as he came upon a series of pictures that made his blood run hot. 

It was Harvey and his mother, standing at her bedside. And one of him leaning down, kissing her brow. He had to look at the pictures twice for it to fully register what he was seeing. 

It took a third time to realize how these pictures had gotten on Jim’s camera. 

“That little son of a bitch,” Harvey hissed. How fucking dare he! How could Jim fucking do this! He had snuck up to the fucking door and started snapping pictures! He hadn’t asked, he hadn’t checked to see if it was okay. That fucking little creep! 

Harvey was almost in tears, glaring down at the images until he couldn’t see straight. His mother looked so sick, so tiny. Perhaps it was the lighting, but it looked as if Harvey was comforting a skeleton with skin stretched over it. Was that why Jim had done it? Because he couldn’t believe Harvey’s mother looked like such a freak? What the fuck! 

He angrily shoved the pictures back, sucking down the cigarette until the filter nearly burned between his lips. He felt betrayed, and his rage was making him nauseous. He had really thought that things were good between him and Jim. He couldn’t fucking understand why he would have done something so sneaky like this. He wanted to punch something. 

No, not _something_ ; someone. A very blonde someone, in fact. He hissed bitterly, flicking the butt of his cigarette out into the darkness of the alley. 

Oh, he could not fucking _wait_ to see Jim Gordon tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya' Jim was gonna get caught. XD


	12. Can't Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey confronts Jim about the pictures and things get heated.
> 
> Mild smuts for makin' out and some gropin'.

Jim Gordon was preparing for Harvey’s visit, grateful his mother was out running errands so she couldn’t see how nervous he was. He hadn’t had anyone over since the death of his father and a friend like Harvey? Never. He had barely been able to sleep last night, waking up that morning with more energy than he ever knew he had. 

There was other homework he could be working on, but it was Saturday! The first Saturday of the year! He was running around getting everything ready for Harvey to stop by and he couldn’t concentrate on school work if he had tried. 

Despite Harvey’s disinterested front when he invited him over yesterday, Jim had no doubt he would be showing up. There was something in the way Harvey had smiled, Jim knew he was coming over. He couldn’t quite define the connection between them, but he was sure Harvey could feel it, too. He straightened up his bed for the third time, even put on a splash of cologne. 

It was normal to want to smell good for guests, right? Very handsome, red headed guests that were sometimes a complete jerk face and very confusing? 

The doorbell rang, and Jim’s stomach did a little happy dance. Maybe if today was going well, he would finally ask Harvey a few more questions about the closet. Like, most importantly, why had he rejected him like that? He still didn’t completely accept Harvey’s explanation of deserving better than a closet make-out session. Harvey was attracted to him, thought he was hot, Jim knew. 

So, what was the problem? 

It had been eating at him, and Jim knew he should probably leave it alone. Things were going well between them, but not knowing was bothering him immensely. Maybe today, he would ask. 

“Hey!” Jim chirped brightly as he opened the door, smiling up at Harvey. 

“Are you alone?” Harvey looked tired, maybe upset. He had his backpack with him, fidgeting at the doorway almost as if he was nervous, too. 

“Huh?” Jim Gordon was quickly thrown by Harvey’s question. He nodded, waving him in and shutting the door. “Yeah, my mom’s out for a little bit.” 

“Good,” Harvey said, his eyes dark as he glared down at Jim. There was a predatory quality to his gaze, as if he was hunting Jim and had finally cornered him. 

Jim shuddered, trying not to cower under it even as it made his heart race. “We, uh, we can talk in my room,” he said, his nerves frying one by one as he walked. Harvey followed him silently, watching Jim shut the door as he said, “She should be out for a few more hours.” 

“Perfect,” Harvey spat, dropping his back pack, his voice low and angry. “Don’t want anybody to hear you fucking crying when I beat your fucking ass!” He shoved the packet of pictures at Jim, snarling, “Or maybe you have some great explanation for these?” 

Jim stared dumbly at the pictures, realizing he was looking at the images he had snuck of Harvey with his mother. 

Shit. 

Oh, shit. 

“Harvey, I’m sorry. I was just messing around with my camera-” Jim started to explain. 

“And what?” Harvey snapped, grabbing Jim and pushing him up against the door. He was furious, fingers digging into Jim’s shoulders and giving him a good shake. “Thought it’d be fun to fucking spy on me!” 

“No!” Jim cried, shaking his head desperately. “I just, I don’t know! I saw you and-” 

“Wanted to what, show the whole fucking school what a fucking freak my mother is? Think cancer is fucking funny?” Harvey was absolutely boiling now, his eyes wide with rage, and his face flushed. 

Jim grappled at Harvey’s wrists, panting, his mind wrecked with panic and guilt. He didn’t know how to make Harvey understand, he didn’t mean to hurt him. Harvey looked so vulnerable and raw, Jim aching to know he was the cause of that. 

“Tell me!” Harvey demanded, Jim’s silence only infuriating him more. He hadn’t slept since finding the photographs. Even after he got home from work and taken care of his mother, sleep wouldn’t come. He had let Jim see a tiny bit of himself he never showed anyone; and what did he do? Took a fucking picture of it. 

“Harvey,” Jim gasped, his hands pressed against his chest to try and keep some distance between them. “Please just let me explain, you see-!” 

“Fucking talk!” Harvey roared. 

“Then stop interrupting me!” Jim shouted back, glad he found a splash of anger to work with. 

Harvey’s mouth opened and promptly shut. He glared, but didn’t speak, nodding silently for Jim to go on. 

“I started getting into photography with my dad, before he died. He told me there are these moments, these beautiful and important moments you have to capture or you’ll lose them forever,” Jim was talking fast, swallowing hard and fighting back tears. “When I saw you… when I saw you with her, it seemed important.” 

“You had no fucking right!” Harvey growled. “To fucking see her like that-” 

“And soon you won’t see her at all!” Jim exclaimed. He got a hard slam against the door for that remark. 

“Jim, don’t you dare fucking talk about my mother like that,” Harvey warned quietly. 

“No! Please!” Jim begged. “That’s why it’s important! She’s dying. The pictures. To remember.” 

Now Harvey was confused, his grip on Jim’s shoulders relaxing. “The fuck are you talking about. You’ve got like ten seconds to make sense before I smash your face into this door.” 

“Your mom, you already know you’re going to lose her,” Jim said softly. He blinked, and the tears that were building began to slide down his cheek. “You already know you have to make the best of the time you have left with her. My dad, when he died, it was an accident. One minute he was here, and then he was gone. _I never got to say goodbye_ , I never got to ask him all the things I wanted to. All these moments, all this shit, I took for granted because I was stupid, and I didn’t think he would ever die.” 

Harvey’s anger began to simmer, his lip twitching softly as he listened. He wanted to reach up and wipe away Jim’s tears, but kept his hands on his shoulders. 

“Maybe not now, but later? You’ll want those pictures,” Jim sniffed. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you, but I’m not sorry I did it. But please. You have to believe me. I never meant to hurt you, I fucking swear.” He sniffed again, amazed to see that Harvey’s eyes were starting to tear up. 

Harvey looked away, determined not to let a single tear fall. Not in front of Jim Gordon, not anyone, not ever. 

Jim reached up to cradle Harvey’s face, fingers trembling as he gently tilted his head back to look at him. He took a deep breath, whispering desperately, “I am so, so sorry.” 

Harvey wanted to believe him, he really did. But no matter how tender or thoughtful his explanation was, it still hurt. He hated that Jim right was right, hated knowing his mother didn’t have much time left. But was he really luckier than Jim? 

What was worse, having a parent snatched away or having to watch one slowly die in front of you? Sure, Harvey got to say goodbye, but was it worth it having to see her suffer so much as she slipped away? 

Harvey bit his lip, at a loss for words. His head was spinning, overcome with so many conflicting emotions threatening to pull him apart at the seams. The way Jim was gazing up at him made him ache inside. His eyes were so much more blue when he cried, it was strangely beautiful, and Harvey couldn’t look away. 

Jim was panting softly, his thumbs moving softly over Harvey’s cheekbones. He wished Harvey would say something, anything. Yell, scream, cuss! The silence was only filled by their heavy breathing, Jim desperate for something to give. 

Harvey didn’t want to think about this, he didn’t want to hurt any more. He sighed, closing his eyes bowing his head down until their foreheads touched. His hands slowly moved down Jim’s chest, his sides, gently resting on his hips. He knew he needed to leave. This was rapidly getting out of control, and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out. 

Jim whimpered as Harvey’s hands roamed, knowing he was doomed. He could smell the faint acrid odor of cigarettes on Harvey’s breath, and he wanted to taste it. He wanted for Harvey to know how truly sorry he was, how much he cared, but he was afraid. 

Jim kept hoping Harvey would make the first move, but they continued to stand there, softly trading breaths. Their bodies weren’t even fully touching, several agonizing inches of space between them that Jim wanted gone. He couldn’t take it any more. 

Fuck it. 

Jim clutched at Harvey’s face, throwing all of his fears out the window and pressing his lips against his. The kiss was timid, shy, but the heat of Harvey’s mouth made Jim whine deep in his throat. His whole body felt like it was on fire, finally feeling Harvey pressing up against him, strong arms curling around his waist. 

Jim heard Harvey gasp, holding him tight. He didn’t even care more tears had escaped, running his hands through that beautiful red hair and kissing him again. He put everything he had into that kiss, grateful for Harvey’s strong arms around to him to hold him up. His knees were already shaking, lost in his embrace. 

Harvey was kissing him back a little rougher, but far more patient than Jim. He tried to set a slow pace, tried to take his time, but Jim was so _eager_. He was pulling at Harvey’s hair, whimpering so sweetly into their kiss. He couldn’t recall if a kiss had ever been this passionate. Harvey’s hands were up Jim’s shirt within a few seconds, thrilled at how his touch made him moan. 

Jim struggled to keep up. He soon felt the warmth of Harvey’s tongue slipping into his mouth, trying to will his own to move back. He thrusted his body against Harvey’s, desperate for friction. He raised his leg, awkwardly trying to hook it around Harvey’s hips. He was all hands and lips, moving on instinct, trying to find what felt good. 

Harvey knew this was the stupidest thing in the history of stupid, but fuck! He didn’t want to stop. He grabbed Jim’s leg, raising it up around his waist, their hips grinding together as they kissed. Fuck, he was hard, and so was Jim. He pushed forward desperately, wanting to _feel_ it so much more. 

Jim yelped suddenly, breaking their kiss and wincing. 

“What!” Harvey gasped, terrified he had somehow hurt him. 

“It’s, it’s the door knob,” Jim explained, panting. “It keeps digging into my hip.” He grinned sheepishly. 

Harvey smiled, he actually _laughed_. Fuck, Jim looked amazing like this. Flushed, his lips slick from kissing, barely able to catch his breath. Harvey held onto him tight, lifting him up with ease and carrying him over to the bed. They tumbled down together, Harvey right on top of him, grinding relentlessly. 

Jim’s hands were everywhere, sliding up onto Harvey’s back, his shoulders, back down to his hips. He grabbed at Harvey’s shirt, tugging it hard. He watched greedily as Harvey sat up to take it off. He gazed appreciatively over the pale skin of his torso, admiring every freckle, remembering it all vividly from the first day they met. But this was different, now he could touch, explore. 

Harvey collapsed back on top of him, resuming their feverish kiss. Jim’s fingers were clawing at his back, their hips rolling together. God, Harvey wanted him so fucking bad. His cock was throbbing, desperate for attention. He told himself to be patient, to focus on Jim. 

Harvey didn’t think Jim had done much with anyone, and he wanted to put the attention on him. He wanted to worship him, easy enough with how responsive he was to everything Harvey did. He pulled Jim’s shirt up, moving his head down and kissing every inch of skin. He paused at a nipple, sucking softly, and the moan it earned him made Harvey shiver. 

“Harvey,” Jim begged loudly, his fingers now clawing Harvey’s hair as he felt his kisses slowly descending down his body. “Please…” 

“I’ll take care of you,” Harvey promised, his hand sliding down to unbutton Jim’s jeans. He ran his fingers over Jim’s cock through his underwear, rubbing slowly until a damp spot was soaking into the fabric. 

“Please, I, can’t, I haven’t,” Jim whimpered, fighting so hard to speak. He was a complete wreck, over stimulated and sweating. If Harvey kept going, he was going to come right there in his pants. “Please _stop_.” 

Harvey complied immediately, staring dumbly at Jim. “What’s wrong?” 

“I haven’t done this before,” Jim said quietly, ashamed. 

“Done what? Sex?” Harvey had suspected as much. “Jimmy, we don’t have to fuck. We could-” 

“Not just sex,” Jim whined. God, he hated this. “I mean, anything. Other than, you know, kissing.” 

“How the fuck is that possible!” Harvey was stunned. 

“Fuck off,” Jim cried miserably, his hands moving to cover his face. 

“I’m just, you…” Harvey sighed, reaching up to move Jim’s hands away so he could see him. “You’re fucking gorgeous, okay? I just can’t believe no one’s gotten to all of this yet.” 

“It’s not easy for me to let people, you know, get close,” Jim said quietly. 

“It’s okay.” Harvey leaned close, pressing a sweet and comforting kiss to Jim’s lips. Fuck, this was gonna go down as the worst case of blue balls in the whole fucking universe. 

“Are you mad at me?” Jim asked meekly. 

“For being an absolutely ridiculous cock tease? Tiny bit,” Harvey snorted, but he was smiling. 

“And the pictures?” 

Harvey groaned, reaching down to readjust himself as he replied, “Okay, I get your weird, fucked up logic about capturing the moment or whatever. But I’m still not real happy about what you did. And now that my dick is harder than fuckin’ Chinese algebra, it ain’t helping my mood much.” 

Jim frowned. “I’m sorry.” 

“I said it’s okay,” Harvey reassured him, kissing him again. “Just. Fuck. Give me a minute.” He flipped onto his face next to Jim, grabbing one of his pillows and grumbling a long list of curses into it. 

Jim cringed, saying softly, “I’m sorry I got a little freaked out… I was like, right there and I didn’t want to, you know…” 

Harvey lifted up his head, asking flatly, “You were about to fucking come just from me rubbing on your junk?” 

“Yes,” Jim sighed, absolutely mortified. 

“One second.” Harvey stuck his face back into the pillow and cursed some more. God, just moments away from having Jim come all over himself and totally denied. Damn it! 

Jim fidgeted, reaching down to button his jeans back up as Harvey continued to fuss. “So… uhm. You’re really not pissed?” 

“Frustrated, not pissed,” came the muffled response. 

“Do you… do you wanna look through the pictures?” 

“Fuck, why not!” Harvey grumbled, rolling onto his back. He sighed as Jim leaned back over to kiss him, running his fingers through his hair. “You’re a fucking ridiculous tease.” 

Jim chuckled, pointing out, “Well. You’re still an asshole.” 

Harvey grinned, kissing him softly and murmuring, “What a fucking pair we make.”


	13. Hangin' Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim hang out for the afternoon.
> 
> More mild smut warning for handies and snuggling and kissing. AW. <3

Harvey Bullock had somehow managed to convince Jim Gordon to let him smoke in his room, using an empty soda can as an ashtray. Jim opened up his window and tried lighting a few candles before settling back into bed beside him. His cheeks were still flushed from all the earlier excitement, snuggling up under Harvey’s arm as he began to flip through the photographs they had taken. 

Harvey hadn’t bothered to put his shirt back on, perfectly comfortable just like this. They fit together so well, Harvey had to admit. Despite all the frustration, it was easy to relax with Jim. It was also nearly impossible to stay mad at him. He was like a damn puppy, and everything he had done was with the best intentions. 

Harvey was still pretty frustrated in other ways, wishing he had time to go home and handle some of this tension. Might have to wait for the bathroom at work, he thought grumpily. His shift didn’t start for a few more hours, content for now to snuggle up next to Jim. 

Jim was looking through the pictures Harvey had done, pausing on the one of himself smiling. It was the same one Harvey liked so much, Jim commenting, “This one is really good, Harvey!” 

“Thanks,” he nodded, taking a long drag and exhaling slowly. “I had a pretty hot model, you know. Trying to convince him to do some nudes, dabble in bondage, maybe get into some soft core-” 

“Oh, my God,” Jim groaned, shaking his head in disgust. “Are you really always like this?” 

“Charming and hilarious?” 

“Gross and perverted?” Jim offered instead, smiling. 

“Always,” Harvey answered smugly. “Better get used to it if you wanna keep hanging out, Boy Scout.” 

Jim finished flipping through the stack of photographs, quiet for a moment. “Hanging out? Is that… what you call this?” 

“Yeah,” Harvey said, furrowing his brow as he finished off his cigarette, dropping the butt down into the can. “What else would you call it?” 

“Dating?” Jim asked softly, hopefully. 

Well, shit. Harvey sighed, closing his eyes as he said, “You don’t want me to be your boyfriend, Jim.” 

“Or you just don’t want to be mine,” Jim shot back, pouting. 

Harvey grumbled, wishing they could go back to making out instead of having this conversation. “I didn’t say that. Look, I’d be a shit boyfriend. You already know I’m an asshole, plus I work all the fucking time, and I’m with my mom the rest of the damn time. And I’m not gonna hold your hand at school or any of that cute PDA shit, I don’t like it. You don’t want that, Jim.” 

“Stop saying that,” Jim snapped, putting the pictures aside and rolling over to glare at Harvey. “You have no idea what I want. Yeah, you’re a jerk. And so what, maybe we won’t have a lot of time together. You don’t wanna hold my hand at school? Whatever. I don’t care. What I want, Harvey, is just… a chance.” 

Harvey frowned, saying quietly, “You’re a fucking idiot… I don’t want to mess you up, Jim.” 

“This is why you didn’t kiss me in the closet,” Jim said slowly, realization setting in. “What, you’re afraid you’ll hurt me?” 

“Anything I get my hands on turns to shit,” Harvey said bitterly. “I fucking like you, okay? But you deserve way fucking better than me.” 

“What I deserve is to be _happy_ , and whatever makes me happy shouldn’t matter,” Jim said, stubborn as ever. “I like you, too, Harvey. All I’m asking is to try? Please?” 

“And what happens if I fuck it up, huh? We got the whole rest of the fucking school year to get through, and I cannot afford to fail this photography class.” Harvey narrowed his eyes, saying, “Shit goes bad, what do we do then, genius?” 

“I don’t want to think about that,” Jim said hesitantly, reaching for Harvey’s face. “Why are you so sure you’ll be the one to screw everything up? I’m pretty fantastic at messing stuff up, too.” 

“Oh, my God. Shut up,” Harvey said affectionately, leaning down and kissing him softly. He didn’t think Jim could screw up anything if he tried; he was too damn perfect. 

“This won’t shut me up,” Jim protested against Harvey’s lips. “You are just trying to avoid the damn conversation!” 

“Exactly,” Harvey drawled, kissing Jim’s jaw and sucking at his neck. 

“Ah! That, that is not fair!” Jim whined, grabbing onto Harvey’s side and squirming against him. “Damn it, Harvey!” 

“Would you like me to stop?” he asked sweetly. 

“No,” Jim whimpered, sighing as Harvey’s mouth continued to work over the soft flesh of his neck. “But only if you agree, mmmph, to give this a chance.” 

Harvey groaned, biting Jim’s neck and enjoying the loud yelp it caused. He looked back up at Jim, searching those pretty eyes, asking softly, “You really wanna do this? With me?” 

“I want to try,” Jim answered firmly, wishing Harvey could see what Jim did. Harvey was surprisingly sweet, funny, and he had such a big heart. Sure, he hid all of that behind a rough front, but Jim knew there was so much more. 

Harvey was uncertain, but he wanted this so terribly. Even if it did end miserably, the chance to be with a guy like Jim was hard to resist. How the fuck could he say no to that sweet smile. “Okay,” he said softly, resigned to his fate. This kid would be his fucking end. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, fucking really,” Harvey sighed, smirking. 

Jim’s face lit up, rewarding Harvey with a passionate kiss, all of his moans getting swallowed up in Harvey’s mouth. He wrapped his arms around his neck, absolutely on top of the world. 

He didn’t just have a friend, he had a _boyfriend_ , and damn, was his new boyfriend a great kisser. Harvey’s hands were back under his shirt, feeling up his sides and his chest, Jim gasping eagerly at every touch. 

Harvey was trying to be good, but damn, it was not easy. He didn’t want to be pushy, especially knowing how inexperienced Jim was. He kept his hands above the waist, resisted shoving his tongue down his throat, and kept their kiss sweet and tender. Fuck, he was gonna have permanent fucking blue balls, he just knew it. 

Oh, but Jim had other plans. He was pushing himself up against Harvey, fingers tangling and pulling at his hair. He wasn’t sure if it was from the roller coaster of emotion he’d been on all week, but he wanted _release_ from all of this tension. 

“Harvey,” Jim whimpered, his hips rubbing anxiously against Harvey’s thigh. “I want to, I…” 

Harvey came up for air, panting, “What? What do you want, Jimmy?” 

Jim couldn’t bring himself to ask, grabbing Harvey’s hand and dragging it down to his crotch. He was desperate, eyes wide with want. “Please…?” 

“Are you sure?” Harvey asked, kicking himself in the head for hesitating. 

Jim nodded, biting at his lower lip, and Harvey melted at the sight. 

“Oh, fuck yes,” Harvey sighed, smiling wide. He undid Jim’s pants, slower than he had before. He was going to make this so good, take his time. He kissed Jim’s neck, his ear, murmuring, “You are so fucking hot…” He slipped his hand down, slowly petting over Jim’s cock. “Just relax, I’ll take care of you.” 

Jim grabbed Harvey’s lips back in a fervent kiss, all tongue and teeth, not even caring how loud he was being. Oh, he knew he wouldn’t last long at all, but it would be heaven while it did. 

Harvey took a deep breath, surprised how nervous he suddenly felt. He was plenty experienced, and Jim wasn’t his first virgin, but this was different. He really wanted this to be perfect. He slipped his hand past the edge of Jim’s underwear, fingers slowly grabbing his cock. He lavished every inch with gentle touches, taking his time to admire the heat, its shape, before finally starting to stroke him. 

Jim gasped, unable to hold their kiss any longer and burying his face against Harvey’s chest. His hips were already thrusting into his hand, whimpering softly. God, it was a thousand times more intense when it was someone else touching him down there. “Fuck!” he whined, unable to hold back a loud cry as Harvey began to speed up. 

“Easy,” Harvey soothed, kissing Jim’s hair. He kept his hand moving steadily, picking up the pace and savoring every sound Jim made. It was only a few more seconds, and Jim’s whole body began to tighten up, thrusting more erratically. “There, come on, Jimmy.” 

Jim squeezed his eyes closed, every muscle winding tighter and tighter until he came, moaning as he let himself go. He bucked hard into Harvey’s hand, panting haggardly, and it was all over far too soon. All of his skin felt tingly and electric, going limp against Harvey, mumbling, “Wow…” 

Harvey chuckled, withdrawing his hand slowly and smirking at the mess Jim had left. He wiped it off on the side of his pants, teasing, “Damn, kid. You like this, just wait ‘til I blow you.” 

“Oh, God,” Jim moaned softly, shuddering at the thought. He couldn’t imagine Harvey’s mouth actually being down there. He lifted up his head, numbly pressing a soft kiss against Harvey’s lips. 

“Fuck, you are hot,” Harvey sighed. Jim was an absolute dream, cheeks and neck all flushed, his eyes glassy and full of bliss. Damn it, no, now _this_ was the worst case of blue balls ever. 

“So are you,” Jim said, kissing him again. He smiled shyly, adding quietly, “And that, that was really good.” 

“Mmmph,” Harvey grunted, “I need another cigarette.” 

“What about you?” Jim asked, suddenly concerned. He looked uncertain, clearing his throat. “Do… do you want me to… do you?” 

“I’m fine,” Harvey fibbed. Jim didn’t look sure of himself, and Harvey didn’t want to pressure him. The kid had just gotten his first handjob, and Harvey didn't want to screw up the mood. He would survive. Definitely would be jackin’ off in the bathroom at work later. “Just shut up and come here.” 

Jim smiled, cuddling back up to Harvey’s side and throwing his arms around him. He kissed his bare chest, lazily tracing little shapes amongst the freckles he found. “We still haven’t looked at the other pictures yet.” 

“Fuck it,” Harvey snorted with a shrug, kissing the top of Jim’s head. He fished a cigarette out of his pocket, lighting up. He didn’t really want to look at photographs of himself. “Pick somethin’ pretty, all done.” 

“You trust me that much, huh?” 

“Hey,” Harvey warned. “That one is for _your_ grade, remember? Pick whatever you want.” 

Jim was mapping out little stars over Harvey’s chest, watching him blow out puffs of smoke. “So… you’re really my boyfriend?” 

Harvey rolled his eyes, snorting, “I said yeah, didn’t I? Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” 

“Good,” Jim sighed, his eyes closing as he relaxed. He realized it would be so easy to drift off, loving how warm Harvey felt. 

“Zonkin’ out?” Harvey asked, and Jim could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Just for a minute,” Jim mumbled. 

“Didn’t mean to wear you out,” Harvey teased, pressing another kiss into Jim’s hair. “Go on. I’ll wake you up before I gotta leave for work.” 

“Mmmkay,” Jim mumbled, smiling softly. Laying next to Harvey felt safe and comforting, enjoying how his arm gently pulled him closer, hand tenderly rubbing over his back. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so content. For the first time in almost a year, Jim had no trouble falling right asleep.


	14. Double U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey get a surprise wake up call.

Jim Gordon was having what was quite possibly the best nap of his entire life when Harvey began to shake him. He mumbled in protest, trying to snuggle closer and bury his head into Harvey’s chest. He wanted a few more minutes, just a little bit longer. 

“Uh, Jim?” Harvey’s voice sounded strange. He sounded tense. 

Jim sighed sleepily, his eyes still closed. “What.” 

He heard someone clear their throat, a very amused and drawn out, “Ahemmm.” 

Jim’s eyes immediately popped open, slowly turning his head and smiling sheepishly up at the figure of his mother looming over them. “Uh, hey, mom!” 

“Hi, Jim,” she said, smiling sweetly. She knew Jim was having a friend over, but this was not the scene she expected to find. She had knocked, out of courtesy, but when she hadn’t heard a response she let herself in to check on her son. And what a surprise this was! 

Jim’s face blushed ten different shades of red, realizing what a sight they were. Cuddled up together in his bed and Harvey still hadn’t put his shirt back on. Well, shit. 

“I assume this is your new _friend_?” she asked politely. 

“Y-yes, this is Harvey Bullock,” Jim introduced quickly. Shit, his pants were still undone. He couldn’t sit up, he couldn’t let her see! Oh, no. 

“Hi, Mrs. Gordon,” Harvey said, giving a wave. He noticed a little twinkle in the woman’s eye, resisting the urge to laugh. She was definitely enjoying Jim’s misery. Probably the first time she had ever caught sweet ol’ Jimmy in bed with anyone and she was going to make the most of it. He liked her immediately. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Harvey,” she said, smiling brightly. “Jim never mentioned how handsome you are!” 

Now it was Harvey’s turn to blush, damning his pale skin for betraying him so easily. 

Jim wished he could burrow into the bed, pleading, “Mom, could you give us, uh, just a minute?” 

“Sure thing, sweetie,” she said, “But you and I are gonna have a little talk, reeeeeally soon.” She didn’t seem angry; quite the opposite. She was happy, even delighted; but she was still his mother and there were certain talks that were necessary when a parent comes home and finds their child not alone in bed. 

“Yup,” Jim gulped. “Can’t wait.” 

The door shut upon her exit and Jim collapsed against Harvey, mumbling, “Oh, my God! I am never leaving this room again! I can’t believe, she! She saw us! And! Agh!” 

“Could be worse!” Harvey said cheerfully, kissing Jim’s brow and smirking. 

“How!” 

“She coulda come in while my hand was still down your pants!” Harvey grinned, sitting up and retrieving his shirt from the floor. “Which are still totally open, by the way.” 

Jim groaned, buttoning them back up and regretting not having cleaned up earlier. He watched Harvey get dressed, taking his hair down and shaking it out from being rumpled up by the pillows. He smiled, commenting, “You should wear your hair down more.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Harvey smirked, promptly pulling it back up into a knot. “I’ll think about it.” He picked up his backpack, sliding it over his shoulders and reaching for Jim. 

Jim pouted, letting Harvey pull him up to his feet and into a tender kiss. He stood up on his toes, curling his arms around Harvey’s neck, melting into him as they kissed. “Mmm. Do you really have to go?” 

“Close enough,” Harvey replied, his hands gently rubbing Jim’s waist. “I don’t do so good with parents, you know? Especially after I’ve been caught half naked in their kid’s bed. You have fun with that ‘talk’, though.” 

“When will I see you again?” Jim asked earnestly. 

“I’m real busy,” Harvey answered shortly, “I got work tonight, work tomorrow, I gotta do some errands, and damn it, quit giving me that fucking puppy face.” 

“So, when?” Jim pressed. 

“Stubborn ass!” Harvey leaned his head to the side, thinking. He didn’t want Jim coming by his place, but he couldn’t leave his mother again so soon. He already felt like shit for being gone so long today. “If you really fucking want to, you could visit me at work when I take my break. I usually take lunch about 11:00.” He smirked smugly, teasing, “If you think your mommy will let you out that late.” 

Jim shoved Harvey away, laughing, “Jerk!” 

“Yeah,” Harvey said, pulling Jim back into his arms with a heated kiss. “But I’m _your_ jerk now.” 

Jim let himself melt back into Harvey’s embrace, whining when he pulled away. “Come on,” he sighed, “I’ll walk you out.” 

Harvey followed him to the door, hesitating as he stepped outside. He picked at a loose string on the strap of his backpack, trying to sound casual as he said, “So. Tonight?” 

Jim smiled warmly. “Yeah.” 

Harvey nodded, resisting the urge to get a farewell kiss. “Later!” he chirped, heading down towards the elevator. A big, dopey smile was working its way onto his face. His heart was thumping away, his shoulders felt light. This still might go down as the stupidest idea in the history of ever, but right now, fuck, was it sweet as hell. 

Jim shut the door, flopping back against it and nearly sliding down to the floor. He sighed, letting the memories of Harvey’s hands all over him flood his mind, still able to taste the faintest trace of his lips on his tongue. He knew he was already in way over his head, but he was so happy. 

He didn’t want to lose this feeling, not ever. He was so grateful Harvey had agreed to give them a chance to be a couple. Jim knew it would not always be easy, but his father had always taught him the best things in life were worth fighting for. 

And Harvey Bullock? Definitely worth it. 

“Oh, James Worthington Gordon!” The sing song voice of his mother came calling across the apartment, piercing his happy bubble. 

Shit. His full name. Jim cringed, calling back, “Be right there, Mom!” 

Yup. This was gonna be a _super_ fun talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet, a small interlude before their little date at Harvey's work.


	15. Break Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having a chat with his mother, Jim goes to visit Harvey at his job.

Jim Gordon had always been a good kid. When his mother told him to have a seat at the kitchen table, he complied immediately. He really didn’t want to have this talk, dreading descriptions of STD’s and the importance of using condoms, no doubt about to get a set of new curfews and more rules chaining him down. He sat quietly, not saying a word, watching his mother put away a few groceries and pour them both a big glass of milk. 

The milk was for cookies, Jim saw, as she came over to sit across from him and offered out a plate full of them. He declined the cookies, but accepted the glass of milk with a nervous smile. 

“So,” his mother said, doing her best to hold back a big grin. “You and Harvey… are dating?” 

“Yes,” Jim answered carefully, sipping at his milk. 

“And how long has this been going on?” 

“We met at school,” Jim replied, deciding that certain details were better left unsaid. “We have photography class together… and well, I guess, officially, it started today.” 

“Hell of a first day,” she teased, reveling in the blush that rose up on Jim’s face. 

“Mom!” Jim whined softly. He didn’t think he had ever heard his mother cuss before, shocked. He didn’t even bother denying that they had been up to no good. She had caught him, almost quite literally, with his pants down. 

“He seems nice, but I would like to talk to him. Preferably with all of his clothes on.” 

“Oh, my God.” Jim slumped back in his chair, utterly mortified. 

His mother chuckled, reaching out to take Jim’s hand. “Sweetie, it’s not often I get a chance to tease you. I’m sorry, I’m not trying to upset you. I promise. And honestly, I’m happy for you. He really does seem very sweet.” 

“Thanks, Mom,” Jim said, smiling as he gave her hand a little squeeze. 

“Now,” she said, her tone a little more stern. “I trust you to be safe and do the smart thing if you two are going to be sexually active. Oh, don’t look so grossed out. I was a teenager once, too. Word of advice? Make sure you lock your door if you don’t want someone, ahem, interrupting.” 

Jim lowered his head onto the table, groaning softly. 

“I understand you want privacy and I will respect that. I promise I will always knock first,” she went on, “But! I’m serious about wanting to actually talk to him. Maybe have him over for dinner. You know, typical parent stuff, where I answer the door with a shotgun and ask him what his intentions are with my son.” 

“We don’t have a shotgun,” Jim pointed out. 

“Well, I’ll get one,” she laughed. “And one other thing. I’m assuming he’s the one who smokes?” 

“Yes,” Jim mumbled. He should have known the candles wouldn’t be enough to cover up the odor. 

“Outside,” she commanded. “I don’t like smoking and I don’t like the smell. And if you two try to just crack open a window, I will know. Got it?” 

“Got it.” 

“See? Now that wasn’t so bad!” She smiled brightly, patting Jim’s hand. “I really do hope you two are happy and he’d better be good to you. We may not have a shotgun, but I _can_ get one.” 

“Thanks, Mom,” Jim chuckled. He imagined that he would have normally had this conversation with both of his parents, but he thought his mother had done a great job on her own. He had survived with minimal embarrassment and she had made herself very clear. He wanted to tell her as much, but the mood was so good. He didn’t know if bringing up his father would ruin it. 

There were still times that talking about his father would bring tears for both of them. He decided it was best not to say anything for now, maybe another time. Jim leaned back in his chair, fidgeting a little as he asked innocently, “So, you’re cool if I go visit him at work tonight?” 

“Hmmm. Where does he work?” 

“The corner market just a few blocks from here,” Jim said, hoping the fact that Harvey had a job would be a few more points in his favor. “He takes lunch around eleven, so I was thinking-” 

“Be back by midnight and you’ve got a deal, mister,” she nodded. 

Jim hopped up from the table, kissing his mother’s cheek excitedly. “Mom, you’re awesome.” 

“I know,” she chuckled, “Now, since I’ve been kind enough to let you go out so late? I think there’s some laundry with your name written all over it.” 

“Consider it done,” Jim laughed, giving a small salute and hurrying off. He jumped in the shower to properly clean himself up, still in awe at how good Harvey had made him feel. And that was just with his hand! Jim thought about what Harvey had said, that tasty bit about using his mouth sometime. He started daydreaming about all the wonderful things they could do together, things he couldn’t even begin to imagine. He had to use his hand to take care of the stiff situation he had created for himself, fantasizing that Harvey’s mouth was down between his thighs. 

He didn’t last long with those kinds of thoughts, exiting the shower with a happy hum and getting dressed. He did every load of laundry, hanging and folding and wishing the hours were passing more quickly. He put the dishes away, took out the trash, and he even cleaned out from underneath his bed. He was desperate to do anything to make eleven o'clock come faster. 

Dinner came and went, Jim parking himself in front of the television and mindlessly working on some other schoolwork. He kept glancing up at the clock, anxiously tapping his foot on the floor. He managed to finish all of his assignments and went to his room to stow it all away into his backpack. He sat on the edge of his bed, picking up the packets of photographs. 

He never did go through the ones he had taken of Harvey. He took his time, flipping past the offending ones he had taken of Harvey and his mother, finally getting to the ones for their project. The first few of Harvey flipping him off made him laugh, wishing like hell he could actually turn one of them in. If ever there was a perfect portrait of Harvey Bullock, this was it. 

Cigarette dangling from his lips, middle finger defiant and pointed right at the camera, that ever present smirk making his eyes twinkle with mischief; it was a great picture. 

Jim finally settled on one without the offending gesture, but he didn’t think it had quite the same effect as the others. Oh, well. He went through the other stack, trying to find the one Harvey had taken of him that he’d liked so much. He couldn’t find it, smirking to himself as he realized Harvey had probably swiped it. It was a really good picture. 

Plus, he thought it was sweet that Harvey would want a photo of him. 

He found another shot of himself that looked decent enough for Harvey to turn in for the assignment and packed both pictures into his backpack to keep safe for Monday. He picked out the ones of Harvey and his mother plus the really nice one of him flipping off the camera, putting them away in his bedside table drawer. 

By the time he glanced up at the clock, it was about a quarter until eleven. Finally! 

He threw on his jacket and a bit of cologne, calling out his farewells to his mother and bolting out the door. 

The streets of Gotham were still wide awake at this hour, a busy bustle of lights and herds of cars crowding at every intersection. This part of the city wasn’t very familiar to him, but he knew the way to the market well enough. He slowed down as he hit the last block, not even having realized he had been jogging the entire way. He forced himself to walk, catching his breath, eyes peeled to look for Harvey. 

As he came up to the store, he peeked around the alley first. He thought that perhaps he’d catch Harvey smoking, but he didn’t see him. Must still be inside. 

Even this late, there were a few customers milling about the aisles. Jim heard Harvey long before he saw him, arguing with the woman who was running the register. 

“No way,” Harvey was groaning. “The first Godfather is totally the best one.” 

“I swear, kids have no taste these days!” the woman snapped back. “Part two had Robert De Niro!” 

“Whooptie-freakin’-do! It made no sense! It was like trying to watch two movies at the same time! They should just split it up and-” 

“Hogwash!” she bellowed. “Just because _you_ couldn’t follow it doesn’t mean it’s not the best of the three!” 

“You’re so lucky I don’t hit old ladies!” Harvey was laughing. 

“I would wipe the floor with you, you little punk!” 

Jim followed the laughter and found Harvey kneeled down in an aisle, stocking boxes of cereal and making faces as he mimicked the woman he was fighting with. His hair was down, Jim noticed immediately, and he was wearing an apron tied around his waist. 

“Hey,” Jim said, smiling shyly. 

Harvey looked up, smirking. “Hey there yourself.” He glanced at his watch, laughing, “Right on time.” He finished putting the last few boxes of cereal on the shelf, taking the packaging they had been wrapped up in and standing up. “Wait just a second.” 

Jim watched Harvey disappear into the back of the store to drop off the empty packaging, returning and waving at the woman at the counter. “I’m taking my lunch!” 

“Accepting defeat?” the woman challenged, cackling. 

“Not on your life! The first one is still the best!” Harvey snapped defiantly, raising an angry fist in her direction and laughing. He bumped shoulders with Jim, snickering, “Come on.” 

Jim followed him back outside and into the alleyway. As soon as they rounded the corner and stepped into the shadows away from the streetlight, Harvey grabbed him and pinned him up against the wall. Jim was caught by surprise and squeaked softly, but the sound was quickly muffled by Harvey’s lips. 

Harvey curled around him tight, kissing him deeply and pressing close. Fuck, he had missed him. 

Jim sighed contently, running his hands through Harvey’s hair. He lost track of how long they were standing there in the dark, cuddling and making out, until Harvey’s hands dipped down and grabbed Jim’s butt. He gasped, exclaiming, “ _Harvey_!” 

“Sorry!” Harvey chuckled. He rested his hands against the small of Jim’s back, smiling shyly. “I’ve been thinking about that ass all fuckin’ day.” 

Jim was grateful that it was dark so Harvey couldn’t see how hard he was blushing. “It hasn’t been _that_ long since you saw me,” he teased, but he loved knowing Harvey had been thinking about him. Even if it was his butt, it was still sweet. 

“Well, it’s been fucking long enough,” Harvey countered. He kissed him again, humming contently as he pulled away to dig out his smokes and lighter. “How’d the big talk go with your mom?” 

“Actually,” Jim said, tilting his head. “Really good. She seemed more upset about you smoking in the apartment than anything else.” 

“Fuck,” Harvey snorted, lighting up and taking a thoughtful drag. “Well, that’s pretty fucking cool. Your mom is an all right lady.” 

“Yeah, she really is,” Jim replied, smiling. “So, uh, that lady in the store? She seems pretty, well, something. Who’s she?” 

“What’s the matter, Jimmy?” Harvey smirked, blowing smile out through his nose. “Jealous?” 

“No!” Jim snorted indignantly. “I was just asking! You two just seemed, you know, friendly.” 

“That’s my boss. Mrs. O'Connell. I’ve worked for that old broad since middle school. She’s a class act, but tough as they come.” 

“You guys always argue about movies?” 

“Oh, we argue about everything,” Harvey chuckled. “Movies, the news, like, fucking everything. She’s been trying to get me to cut my hair for fuckin’ ever.” 

“Which you don’t have up,” Jim commented, reaching out and gingerly tucking a few loose pieces back behind Harvey’s ear. “It looks nice.” 

“You said you liked it,” Harvey said with a shrug, smirking. “I do listen, you know.” 

“Good to know.” Jim watched Harvey smoke, shifting his feet idly. “So, uh. What do you do for lunch? Did you bring something?” 

“You’re looking at it,” Harvey snorted, holding up the cigarette. 

“You don’t eat on your lunch?” 

“Nah. Not hungry.” Harvey didn’t want to tell Jim he always skipped eating on his break because it was an easy way to save money. He only ate when Mrs. O'Connell gave him something, usually a sandwich that was about to expire from the deli. There was a lot he didn’t want to tell Jim, and the details of his family’s financial situation were right at the top of the list. 

“Right,” Jim snorted, skeptical. He knew Harvey was holding back, trying to decide whether or not he wanted to push for more information. 

Harvey decided to divert the conversation somewhere much more pleasant, smiling wickedly as he flicked his cigarette out into the alley. He pressed back up against Jim, drawling, “But you know, I am always hungry for… other stuff…” 

“What are you talking about?” Jim asked dumbly, gazing up at Harvey. 

“Like I said. Other stuff.” Harvey started kissing Jim’s neck, his mouth winding down to the edge of his shirt collar. 

“O-ohh, that. That kind of other… other stuff,” Jim whimpered, tilting his head over to give Harvey all the access he could possibly want. 

“Uh huh,” Harvey purred happily, running his hands down Jim’s hips. 

Jim curled his arms around Harvey’s shoulders, feeling the lean muscle and sliding his fingers up into his long hair. It was far too easy to get worked up, especially when Harvey started sucking and nibbling softly. “Oh, _Harvey_ ,” Jim sighed, “You’d better stop soon…” 

“Why?” Harvey asked innocently. “Afraid I’d make you walk home with a hard dick?” His hand dropped down to the front of Jim’s jeans, the button easily unsnapping under his expert touch and starting to tug the zipper down. “What kinda boyfriend would that make me, huh?” 

“Harvey!” Jim hissed, jerking away. “Are you crazy!” He looked around wildly, as if he expected a news crew or the police to pop up around the corner at any second. 

“What?” Harvey grinned. “Nobody is gonna come lookin’. And even if they do, they can’t see shit.” He began to pull at Jim’s zipper again and kissed along his jaw, noting, “It’s super fucking dark, it’s late…” 

Jim was helpless to resist, more turned on by the idea of messing around in public than he could have ever imagined. It felt thrilling, dangerous. A short gasp escaped his throat when he felt Harvey’s fingers curl around his cock, pulling gently. 

“You want me to quit?” Harvey asked softly. He wasn’t trying to tease, only ensuring Jim really wanted him to continue. 

“Don’t you dare,” Jim pleaded, groaning loudly when Harvey’s thumb brushed over the head of his cock, fingers squeezing tight. Damn, knowing they could get caught at any moment made this so incredibly hot. 

“Damn, Jim,” Harvey purred, stroking him steadily. “Your dick is already so fucking wet…” He nuzzled against his neck, kissing and sucking, whispering dirty and foul things in Jim’s ear, “It’s so fucking hot how wet you are… you make the hottest fucking noises, mmmph… God, you are so _sexy_ …” 

Jim was a complete mess, grateful for the wall behind him to lean on for support. It was all he could do to keep breathing, moans and grunts the only responses he could give. All those dirty things Harvey was saying was driving Jim crazy. 

He wanted to reach out and touch Harvey, he wanted to make him feel just as good. But fuck, he was barely hanging on and was afraid to let go, fearful he’d topple right over. 

Harvey jerked him faster, roughly kissing his neck as he murmured, “Come on, Jimmy…” He could feel Jim starting to tense, trembling against him. “Come for me…” 

“Ohhh, _Harvey_!” Jim cried out, his hips bucking up as he orgasmed and clinging for dear life. 

“There, baby,” Harvey purred, kissing his neck softly. “There you go.” He didn’t stop stroking until Jim’s hips stilled and he felt him twitch in his hand, far too sensitive for further stimulation. He kissed him, tenderly sliding his tongue past his lips and loving the little whimper he got. 

“That was, was really, really nice,” Jim whispered, grinning dopily. He had to break away, still trying to catch his breath. 

“Good.” Harvey smirked, kissing Jim’s cheek and wiping his hand off on his apron. He helped get his pants situated, teasing, “One of these days, I might ask you to return the favor.” 

“I mean. I could, like, try… right now?” Jim offered timidly. 

Harvey snorted, staring Jim down. Even in the darkness, he could tell Jim was still a beautiful and fumbling mess. “Don’t worry about it,” he said gently, “I ain’t about to rush you, okay? Besides, I like gettin’ you off.” He patted his pockets, pulling out another cigarette. 

Jim watched the little flame of the lighter, Harvey’s face briefly illuminated as he lit his cigarette. “You’re really fucking good at it,” he admitted. 

“Goddamn right I am,” Harvey snickered, positively beaming. “Thanks, by the way… for coming to see me. I gotta go back in probably after this smoke… but uh.” He paused to take a drag, asking nonchalantly, “Maybe you wanna come by again tomorrow night?” 

Jim grinned. He didn’t even care it was a school night, there was nothing else he’d rather do. He laughed, arching forward and kissing Harvey sweetly. “It’s a date.”


	16. Clock's Ticking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim visits Harvey on his lunch break again, but a thoughtful gesture quickly turns sour.

Harvey Bullock found himself counting down the minutes to eleven o'clock, surprised at himself for being so excited. It hadn’t been very long, but he knew he was already stuck on Jim Gordon; really bad. 

He had managed to sleep in that morning for a few precious hours before he had to wake up to start his day. He made breakfast, helped his mother get a shower and take her medicine. Once she was back in bed and comfortable, he got to work organizing the bills for the month. He had learned how to sign his mother’s signature years ago so he could write checks for the rent and utilities. It took him longer than he would have liked to sort everything out, but math had never been one of his strengths. 

Sadly, it didn’t take a genius to see he wouldn’t have enough to pay all the bills and still eat. Fuck, he missed the extra cash from the docks already. He opted to only pay half the electric for now, hoping it would be enough to appease the power company and keep the lights on. He also hoped Mrs. O'Connell would be extra generous with her little brown bags of groceries this week. 

He sealed up all the little envelopes and stamped everything to put in the mail on his way to work that evening. He took a quick nap until it was time to make lunch, heating up some soup on the stove for his mother. While she ate, he tried to clean up and then study for class. 

Soon, he heard familiar gagging sounds and rushed to help his mother to the bathroom. The soup, apparently, did not agree with her. He took care of her, the mess, easing her back into bed before heading back to the kitchen to try making something else for her to eat. 

The hours ticked by like that, constantly caught between helping her and making an honest attempt to focus on homework. He hated to admit it, but he was actually grateful when it was time to go to work. He dropped off the bills in the mail and footed his way over to the store. 

He sped through his tasks in record time, stocking every shelf and dragging all the trash out to dumpster without Mrs. O'Connell even having to nag him. He did everything and anything he could to make eleven o'clock get there sooner. 

“Someone’s real excited about their lunch break,” she observed as ten forty five rolled around and Harvey kept glancing up at the clock. 

“Maybe I’m just hungry,” Harvey said defensively, sweeping up between the aisles. 

“Uh huh,” she said, not buying that for a second. “Hungry for something tan and blonde?” 

“Bite me, old woman,” Harvey sniped, waving the broom in her direction. 

“Aw, I think it’s darling.” She smiled warmly, sighing, “Oh, to be young again.” 

“You mean like you were back in the Stone Age?” Harvey taunted. 

“You just wait,” she warned, wagging a finger. “You’ll get fat and grey, too. Enjoy being pretty while you can.” 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. No matter what? I will _always_ be pretty,” Harvey laughed. He heard the bells at the door chime, looking up to see Jim Gordon walking in. Their eyes met and when Jim smiled, Harvey felt his heart skip a beat. 

Yup. He had it real fuckin’ bad for Jim. 

“Hey,” he said casually, sweeping up the last of the mess from the floor into a dust pan. 

“Hi,” Jim greeted, his happiness to see Harvey clearly written all over his face. He waved to Mrs. O'Connell who was blatantly staring, and Harvey noticed he was carrying a small bag. 

Harvey looked up at the clock, saying, “You’re a little early, I still got like ten minutes. 

“I don’t mind waiting,” Jim said quickly. 

Mrs. O'Connell rolled her eyes and groaned, “Go on, Harvey.” She smirked, adding kindly, “You busted your ass today. Put that stuff away, and go ahead.” 

“Hell yes!” Harvey cheered, racing into the back to dump the dustpan and put everything away. He came tearing out from the back, grabbing Jim’s arm and dragging him outside, calling over his shoulder, “Thank you! I put your ride home back up in the closet!” 

Jim laughed as Mrs. O'Connell yelled out something loud and foul, but he couldn’t quite make it out. He grinned as Harvey pulled him into the alley, on him in seconds. He found his back up against the wall like last night, a tangle of hands and lips as they kissed. He had been thinking about Harvey all day, all too eager to let himself get carried away. 

Harvey ran his hands over Jim’s face, his jaw, letting their tongues slide together as their kiss took a more passionate turn. He grunted when he felt Jim’s touch sneaking up his shirt, excited by his boldness. Jim was taking his time, fingers slowly exploring, feeling, taking everything in as if he was trying to commit every inch to memory. 

“Fuck, Jim,” Harvey mumbled, biting softly at Jim’s lower lip and earning himself a little squeak. He loved the way Jim touched him, wondering how it would feel down in other places. 

“Missed you,” Jim said softly, taking a deep breath. 

“Yeah?” Harvey smiled, kissing Jim’s forehead sweetly. He had missed him, too. He glanced down, seeing the faint outline of the plastic bag Jim had dropped by their feet. He was curious, asking, “Hmmph. What’s in the bag?” 

“It’s for you,” Jim chuckled. “Here.” He kneeled down, picking it up and offering it out. 

“If this isn’t condoms and whipped cream, I will be very disappointed,” Harvey drawled, untying the handles and peeking in. It was difficult to make out in the darkness, but his eyes had adjusted enough to surmise it was… a sandwich? “What the fuck?” 

“You said you never eat,” Jim said, hesitating a little. He couldn’t read Harvey’s reaction very well, fumbling to explain, “I didn’t like the idea of you not eating on your lunch break, so, well, I made you lunch. It’s just a couple of ham sandwiches and a granola bar.” 

Harvey froze, not sure how to take such a thoughtful gesture. “You didn’t have to,” he said uncertainly, shame running right through him. Shit, did he really seem that fucking pathetic? So pathetic that his damn boyfriend had to bring him food he couldn’t afford to get himself? 

Jim frowned. Something was wrong. “I know I didn’t, I just… we had extra and I was thinking about you. You’ve been so great. I wanted to do something nice for you.” 

Extra. Harvey almost laughed. He couldn’t imagine having extra anything, especially food. For the first time, he could sense a big divide between them. He shook his head, trying to find the right response. Kid like Jim, he realized, never knew what it was like be hungry. “It is nice… it’s, uh, real sweet.” 

“So, what’s wrong?” Jim asked quietly, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate it,” Harvey replied carefully. “But I don’t need you to bring me food, okay?” 

“I know that.” Jim was getting irritated. “I was just trying to do something nice!” 

“Blowjobs are nice, beer is nice,” Harvey snorted, raking his fingers through his hair. “This is… you shouldn’t have fucking done this.” 

“Why are you being such a jerk?” Jim snapped. “Can’t you just say ‘thank you’ and eat the damn sandwich?” 

“Thank you for insulting me?” Harvey growled. “Yeah, no. I get you’re trying to be cute and bring your poor boyfriend some fucking food, but don’t-” 

“What are you even talking about!” Jim was horribly confused and getting angry fast. “It’s just a fucking sandwich, Harvey. I don’t understand why you’re so pissed at me!” 

“Of course you don’t understand, Boy Scout,” Harvey groaned. He was hurt, angry that what should have been a sweet gesture had managed to wound him so deeply. “You’ll never fucking get it.” 

“Maybe if you tried actually explaining it to me instead of being a fucking dick hole?” Jim suggested bitterly. 

“Or!” Harvey exclaimed. “Option B! I continue to be a dick hole, and you can go get your rocks off at home.” 

“What the fuck?” Jim was stunned, visibly hurt although the darkness hid the tearful expression coming over him. “You think… That’s not why I came to see you! I came out here because for some stupid reason, I missed you!” 

“Clearly, because you’re a fucking idiot.” 

“Fuck you,” Jim snapped, forcing back angry tears. “I don’t know what your problem is or what the hell you think it is I’ve done that is so fucking awful? But… this… you were right. You are a fucking asshole.”’ 

Harvey said nothing, his temper boiling and fighting off ten different emotions swarming his brain. He looked away, sighing as he tried to pull himself together. He was being a complete jackass and he knew it. 

Jim had only been trying to be thoughtful and snubbing his kindness so viciously was a total dick move. Harvey was trying to force out an apology, but Jim was already walking away. “Hey! Fucking wait!” 

“Why!” Jim demanded, but he did pause out on the sidewalk. He glared back expectantly at Harvey, hoping, praying for him to say something to fix this. 

“You forgot your stupid sandwiches!” Harvey knew there were literally hundreds of other things he should have said, but that’s what came out. He waved the bag at him, gesturing for Jim to come back. 

“No, you keep ‘em,” Jim sighed, not sure why he had expected anything different. His heart was aching, still unsure of what he had done to anger Harvey and even more hurt Harvey wasn’t making any real effort to apologize for being so mean. “Maybe you’ll fucking choke on one of them.” 

Harvey was actually shocked, not able to muster a single word to respond. He didn’t think that Jim had any ounce of venom in him, but boy, was he wrong. He watched Jim leave, racing down the sidewalk as if he thought Harvey might have tried to chase after him. 

No need to worry about that, Harvey thought bitterly. He would have been out of breath by the time he hit the first block. He slumped down on the ground, lighting up a cigarette and bouncing his head against the wall. Fuck! He was such an idiot! 

Jim was right. It was only some stupid sandwiches. He hadn’t been trying to rub anything in Harvey’s face; kid really had no clue why Harvey was upset and fuck, he hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with trying to explain himself. 

He knew part of it was residual frustration from working on the bills earlier that day. He hated having to struggle so much and Jim had no idea what that was like. But it wasn’t fair of Harvey to take it out on Jim, not when the kid was just trying to be a sweet boyfriend. 

Harvey had let his pride and his shame get the best of him and ruin what had been a truly thoughtful act. It was more than that, he realized mournfully; he might have just ruined his relationship. He may have lost Jim because of his arrogance. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

He had to fix this. 

But fuck. How?


	17. Bloody Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim runs into some trouble at school.

When Jim got to school the next morning, he was determined to head straight to class. He did not want to see Harvey yet, still hurt over how horrible he had acted last night. Jim regretted telling him to choke on the sandwich or whatever it was, but he had been so angry. All he had wanted to do was something sweet for his boyfriend, and it had blown up right in his face. 

Was he even still his boyfriend, Jim wondered bitterly. He hated that he wasn’t sure. He knew they had photography class this afternoon and decided he could wait until then to deal with him. Heart heavy, head low, he started towards his first class. 

He wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, always watching his feet instead of actually looking ahead, and his shoulder caught someone as he went by. He turned his head to see who he had accosted, sighing, “Shit, look, I’m really sorry! I… oh…” 

Eyes wide, he found himself staring up into the very angry face of Arnold Flass. 

“Shit,” Jim breathed, trying to take a step back. He smacked into another warm body, whirling around to see Alvarez looming over him. Great! 

“You!” Flass snarled, reaching out and snatching Jim by the straps of his backpack. He looked around the crowded halls, pulling Jim close as he hissed, “Aw, all by yourself, huh? No Harvey?” 

“Get your fucking hands off me!” Jim snapped, trying to shove Flass away. He was too big, too strong, but Jim didn’t stop struggling. 

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Flass snorted, “You’re coming with us.” He dragged Jim towards the boys’ bathroom, Jim fighting every step of the way. 

He tried to call out for help, but none of the other students seemed to hear him, and Flass was moving fast. 

He almost got away when they got to the bathroom door, but Alvarez was right behind him and shoved him through. He shut the door, no doubt standing guard out front, leaving Jim and Flass alone in the bathroom. 

Jim grunted as Flass slammed him against the wall, grunting, “The fuck do you want!” 

“Oh, just gonna mess you up a little,” Flass taunted. “Send my good ol’ buddy Harvey a message.” He reached back as if to hit Jim, but then Jim realized he was only holding onto the strap of his backpack. Time to move! 

He quickly wiggled away, slipping out of his backpack and backing towards the stalls. 

Flass laughed, dangling the pack out and saying, “Fast little fucker, aren’t you?” He smirked, unzipping the backpack and promptly dumping its contents onto the floor. Amongst the books and papers, Flass saw the two photographs for the photography assignment. “Aw, well, isn’t this sweet!” 

“Hey! Don’t you fucking touch those!” Jim tried to dive for the photos, but Flass had already picked them up. 

Flass chuckled cruelly, shoving Jim hard and sending him flying onto his back. He stood right over him, holding up the photos and tearing them into tiny shreds. He released all the little pieces, letting them fall over Jim as he mocked, “Gee, I hope those weren’t important.” 

Jim managed to get back to his knees, crouching down as he prepared to pounce. Yeah, Flass was big, but he was slow. He could use that. He dove forward, throwing all his weight into Flass’ legs and knocking him down. 

The second Flass hit the ground, Jim scrambled up to his feet and tried to get to the door. He didn’t care about the backpack or the pictures, he had to get the hell out of there! Jim tried pushing forward, but door wouldn’t move! 

Damn! Alvarez was probably holding it shut, and- 

“Fuck!” Jim cried out as Flass snatched his leg, dragging him backwards. They ended up on the ground together, Jim struggling to break away and kicking as hard as he could. 

“Come here, you little fuck!” Flass pinned him down, rearing back and socking Jim right in the mouth. 

Jim saw a big flash of white, spitting out what must have been a mouthful of blood. Everything was fuzzy and started to spin. He heard ringing; wait, was that the bell? Or was it just his ears? Damn, he thought crazily, he was gonna be late for class. 

When Flass hit him again, he barely felt it, struggling to get his arms up to block the next blow. 

Jim hadn’t even heard the banging at the bathroom door or Alvarez’s muffled shout. He couldn’t focus on anything except trying to keep his arms up, his eyes closed tight, hoping it would all be over soon. 

“You motherfuckin’ piece of regurgitated dog shit! You’re fucking dead!” 

Jim heard a voice; he knew that voice. He popped open his eyes in time to see a flash of red hair and white t-shirt tackle Flass off of him. 

Harvey! It was Harvey! 

Jim was shocked, forcing himself to sit up and scooted back against the wall to watch. 

Harvey and Flass were at each other’s throats, trading blow after blow. Flass hit like a freight train, every hit threatening to send Harvey to the ground. But Harvey stayed on his feet, and he was relentless in his retaliation. And fuck, was he _fast_. Even though his own face was quickly bloodied, he had managed to bust Flass’ lip wide open and jabbed him right in the throat. 

Flass was left gasping for air, and Harvey grabbed him by the back of the head, smashing his face into the tiled wall. He collapsed, Harvey kicking him ruthlessly in the ribs as he sneered, “You fucking like that shit, huh! Fuck you, you fucking bastard!” 

Jim slowly got up, stumbling towards Harvey. Jim realizes he wasn’t showing any signs of stopping, reaching out and grabbing his arm. “Harvey! Stop!” 

Harvey blinked, staring at Jim as if he didn’t recognize him at first. He was panting, his lip and nose bleeding, and he had a black eye in the works. He finally relented, letting Jim pull him away. He grabbed Jim’s face, surveying the damage Flass left behind and asked, “Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay,” Jim nodded, pressing his hands over Harvey’s and trying not to cry. Not here. 

Harvey pressed a desperate kiss to Jim’s forehead, closing his eyes. His heart was in his throat, knowing this could have been so much worse. 

Harvey turned back around, giving Flass one last kick and spat on him, snarling, “Better fucking stay down, Flass.” He looked back at Jim, saying quickly, “Let’s get the fuck out of here, huh?” 

Jim nodded numbly, watching Harvey kneel down to collect the papers and books Flass had dumped out. 

Harvey slung the backpack over his shoulder alongside his own, wrapping an arm around Jim’s shoulders and guiding him out of the bathroom. No sign of Alvarez, Jim noted, grateful the halls were empty. 

They hit the front doors just as the second bell rang, Jim sniffing back a few tears and wiping at his bloody nose with his sleeve. They kept moving down the sidewalk, no real destination except to put as much distance between them and school as possible. 

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Harvey said once they were down the block, his voice soft and full of pain. “This is all my fucking fault.” 

“No,” Jim said stubbornly. “This is because Flass is a fucking bastard-” 

“I should have been with you!” Harvey countered. 

“Harvey! It’s not your fault!” Jim pleaded. 

“No, I was a fucking idiot and an asshole, because you know I’m always an asshole and I-” 

“Shut up,” Jim snapped, not able to take it any more. He grabbed a handful of Harvey’s long hair, stopping right in the middle of the sidewalk, pulling him down for a kiss. 

Fuck, it stung, his lip throbbing painfully, but Jim didn’t care. He kissed Harvey hard, desperately. 

Harvey mumbled a soft curse, wrapping his arms around Jim’s waist and holding him tight. Their kiss tasted like blood, salty and bitter, but Harvey thought it was the sweetest kiss he’d ever had. 

Jim winced when Harvey tried to kiss him a little deeper, pulling away gently. He touched Harvey’s cheek, suggesting, “Maybe we oughta get cleaned up, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Harvey nodded. They were both a bloody mess, especially Harvey. His shirt was almost certainly ruined, and he wasn’t sure if all the blood was his. 

“We could go to my place,” Jim offered shyly. “My mom’s at work. We could blow off first period, get cleaned up. And fuck, we’ve gotta pick out new pictures to turn in for our assignment since that dickhead ripped the other ones up.” 

“All I heard was something about blowing, and your mom ain’t home,” Harvey teased, trying on a small smile. 

Jim playfully shoved Harvey, groaning, “You’re such an ass.” 

Harvey smirked, smug as ever. “I did warn you.” 

“We need to talk,” Jim said, trying to sound serious. “About last night?” 

“I know,” Harvey said quietly, guilt creeping in. He feigned another smile, teasing lightly, “How about you do the talking part, and I do the blowing?” 

“You’re fucking impossible.” 

“So… That’s not a no.” 

“Harvey,” Jim groaned loudly, but he was smiling. “Shut up.”


	18. Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey have a little talk... and then have themselves a little fun.

Jim unlocked the door to his family’s apartment, pausing as he first stepped inside. His mother was supposed to be at work, but he was still cautious. He heard only silence and felt confident she wasn’t there. He herded Harvey in, locking the door behind them. 

Jim led him back towards his bedroom, sighing haggardly and kicking off his shoes. What a fucking morning. 

“You guys got a first aid kit?” Harvey asked, dropping their bags on the floor. 

“Yeah, I’ll go get it,” Jim nodded. 

“I’ll grab some ice, all right?” Harvey gave Jim’s a shoulder a gentle squeeze. 

“It’s in the kitchen.” 

“You don’t fucking say!” Harvey laughed. “And I bet it’s in the freezer, right?” 

Jim rolled his eyes, going to the bathroom to find the kit. It wasn’t much, some band-aids and alcohol wipes, but it would have to do. 

“Yo!” Harvey called out from the kitchen. “Whose beer?” 

“My mom’s,” Jim laughed in response. “Go ahead, grab some.” 

“Your mom drinks beer?” 

“Yeah,” Jim chuckled, heading back into his bedroom and sitting on the edge of his bed with the first aid kit. He smirked when Harvey walked in, holding two beer cans in his hand and a questioning look on his face. “It’s the kind my dad used to drink. I think she just likes having it in the house, but she drinks one every once in a while.” 

Harvey frowned, looking down at the beer in his hand with a guilty grimace. “Are you sure it’s cool?” 

“Yeah,” Jim nodded. “She’ll never notice.” He frowned, realizing that all Harvey had brought back was beer. “Thought you were getting ice? 

“Yeah, but then I found beer,” Harvey said, as if the answer was obvious. He sat down beside Jim, popping one open and chugging. He offered the other can towards Jim. “Here.” 

“I don’t drink,” Jim said, smiling sheepishly. “I mean, I have. I just don’t like it.” 

“Damn, Boy Scout,” Harvey snickered. He shook his head, ever amused by how innocent Jim seemed, shrugging. “Hey, more for me!” 

“Go on and drink up, this isn’t gonna feel good,” Jim warned, opening up one of the alcohol wipes and frowning at Harvey. 

Harvey made a sour face, chugging the rest of his beer and sighing, “Fucking go for it.” 

Jim was careful, gingerly wiping at Harvey’s eyebrow where it was split and starting to swell. He tried to be careful, but there was a small part of him that was enjoying the way Harvey squirmed. He had been a royal douche bag, after all. “Thank you, you know, for saving my ass. How did you find me?” 

“Well,” Harvey said, biting at the scab forming on his lip, “You weren’t out front when I got to school, and I was gonna go see if you were in class. But before I got there, I saw Alvarez outside the bathroom and well, you know, kinda figured he wasn’t up to no good.” 

“Kinda figured?” 

“Look, there’s not a lot of reasons that asshat would be guarding the door, and none of them are good,” Harvey grunted, “So, I kicked him in the nuts and you know, saved the fucking day.” He smirked, but his smugness was lost when Jim swiped at his busted lip. “Ouch, fuck!” 

“Sorry,” Jim giggled. 

“You sick fuck, you’re enjoying this,” Harvey pouted. 

“A little bit. Maybe you got hit in the head too many times,” Jim grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Or did you already forget about last night?” 

“No.” Harvey looked positively miserable, letting out a loud and drawn out sigh. He waited to speak again until Jim was done cleaning up his face. He had thought a lot about what he wanted to say to Jim and in that moment, he immediately forgot it all. He struggled for the right words, stuttering out, “Look, you… do you know why I work?” 

“Buy cigarettes?” Jim answered shortly. He wasn’t trying to be bitter, but Harvey really had hurt his feelings, and it wasn’t easy to forget. He thought better of himself, adding quickly, “I don’t know. Saving for a car or something?” 

“I work ‘cause my dad is a piece of shit, and my fucking mom is dying,” Harvey said quietly, opening up the second beer and taking a sip. “Ain’t never had any money, and I’ve always had to work to get what little bit I got, okay? To pay the fucking bills, to get my mom’s medicine, to fucking _eat_.” 

Jim frowned, reaching out and taking Harvey’s hand. 

Harvey took another drink of beer, fidgeting. He never talked to anyone about this, not ever. He didn’t look at Jim, keep his gaze fixated on spot he found over on the floor. “That’s why I don’t eat lunch at work, all right. Trying to save money. And when you brought me those stupid fucking sandwiches… it was like you fucking felt sorry for me or something. Poor bum ass Harvey.” 

“Harvey,” Jim soothed. “I had no idea. I really didn’t think any of that, I promise. And even if I did know all that stuff, I wouldn’t think of you like that. You’re not a bum. And you know. My family isn’t like the wealthiest, either.” He wilted when Harvey gave him a scathing glare. 

“I saw the inside of your fridge,” Harvey reminded him. “You’re doin’ a lot fucking better than you think.” 

“I guess… I take it for granted.” Jim frowned, nodding towards the first aid kit. “You’re, uhm, you’re all done.” 

“Here, I gotcha.” Harvey picked up the alcohol wipes, tearing one open and set to work cleaning up Jim’s face, grumbling again. “Look, I’m sorry. I got a lot of bad shit buried away and it just comes out sometimes. Like, a lot of the time. This is why I’ve never had a serious relationship. Because I always fuck it up.” 

Jim flinched as Harvey hit a sore spot on his cheek. “It’s okay. I understand that part, sort of. I… I can’t ever let anyone get close. Even before I lost my dad, I was always… I don’t know. Shut off.” 

“Seem pretty switched on with me,” Harvey pointed out, smiling gently. 

“Yeah,” Jim agreed, “It’s easy with you.” 

“That’s because I’m fucking amazing,” Harvey chuckled. He had finished cleaning Jim’s face, tidying up the mess of soiled wipes and setting the kit over on the bedside table. 

“And humble, too!” Jim snorted. 

“Naturally!” Harvey snickered. He took another drink of beer, glancing down at himself. “Don’t suppose you have a shirt or something I could borrow?” He hated to ask, but he couldn’t very well go back to school with a bloody shirt. 

“Sure. Shit, I guess we need to get back.” Jim got up to dig around his closet. “Definitely already missed first period, maybe we can make it back for second.” He tried to find something larger that would fit Harvey, settling on an old concert t-shirt that had belonged to his father. He tossed it over, not sharing where it came from, worried Harvey might be weirded out if he knew. 

He watched Harvey strip off his shirt to change, swallowing audibly. He knew they both needed to get dressed and head back to school, but he couldn’t help but stare at the half naked boy sitting in his bed. Harvey really was beautiful, rough edges and all. 

Jim realized this was the first time he had taken off his shirt in front of Harvey, instantly shy once it was over his head and feeling a deep blush creep up his chest. He always thought he was too thin, too scrawny; but Harvey didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t seem to mind at all. The way he was looking at him was so reverent, it made Jim’s chest ache. 

“Come here,” Harvey said, his voice tender. He didn’t bother putting on the clean shirt Jim had given him; he wasn’t ready to leave, not yet. He didn’t understand why Jim was seemed so awkward taking his clothes off; didn’t he know how gorgeous he was? 

Harvey was determined to show him. 

He reached out and took Jim’s hand, pulling him close and gently tugging his top the rest of the way off. “You are fucking perfect,” he reassured him, gazing over him intently and kissing his stomach. “You are the most fucking perfect thing I’ve ever touched, do you know that?” 

“Wow… Harvey. I… thank you.” Jim blushed even harder, smiling shyly as Harvey pulled him down into his lap. He eased his arms around Harvey’s shoulders, his stomach fluttering. Getting back to school was all but forgotten when he felt their bare skin touch. He smiled as Harvey pressed his cheek against his chest, running a hand through his hair. 

Harvey wrapped his arms around Jim’s waist, fingers lightly tracing over his spine. He was listening to the excited thumping of Jim’s heart, asking quietly, “So… are we cool?” 

“Yes. I forgive you, Harvey,” Jim sighed. “But you’ve gotta promise to try and talk to me more. I can’t fix anything if I don’t know what’s wrong. Okay?” 

“Deal,” Harvey agreed. He kissed Jim’s chest, leaning his head up and nuzzling against his neck. “And you. You’re so fuckin’ sexy. I don’t think we’re gonna make second period.” 

Jim closed his eyes, petting Harvey’s hair and was inclined to agree. This was so nice. He gasped softly when he felt Harvey’s mouth sucking at his collarbone, his hips jerking forward. “S-sorry. Shit.” 

“Mmmmph, don’t be,” Harvey sighed, his hands moving to the edge of Jim’s jeans. “Feels good.” 

Jim rolled his hips again, more slowly this time, enjoying the little grunt Harvey made when he did. He started grinding against him steadily, his cock stiffening right up. When they kissed, Jim moaned passionately, forgetting all about the throbbing in his lip. He gasped when Harvey’s tongue slid past his lips, lapping against his, slowly licking back and trying to stop himself from shaking. 

Harvey grabbed a hold of Jim’s hips, mumbling, “Damn it, you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing to me.” 

Jim smiled, a tiny hint of mischief in his eyes as he grinded down harder. “Mmm,” he sighed, feeling Harvey’s erection rubbing against his own, “I have some idea…” 

“God!” Harvey groaned. He was so horny, and jackin’ it in the shower here lately hadn’t been enough to satisfy him. He wanted so much more. He grabbed onto Jim tight, turning and throwing him down on the bed. He stayed right on top of him, rubbing his hips purposely against Jim’s and whispering in his ear, “I wanna fuck you so damn bad.” 

“O-oh!” Jim was panting, Harvey’s cock was digging into him, right _there_ between his legs, right against his ass. He felt so big, so hard, and imagining what that would feel like _inside_ of him was overwhelming. He was scared, immediately freezing up, whimpering quietly, “I want… I want to. I really do. But I’m… I’m sorry. I can’t. It’s… I’m not ready.” 

Harvey smiled through his obvious frustration, taking a deep breath. He rubbed his thumb over Jim’s cheek, sighing, “I know. Look, I ain’t gonna push it… I kinda move fast, I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m sorry. You just… mph.” He playfully humped Jim, laughing, “You drive me fucking crazy!” 

“I’m not trying to,” Jim pleaded. “And I do want to… you know. Do it. I’m just…” 

“It’s okay,” Harvey reassured him. He kissed him gently, being mindful of both of their injuries. “Good things are worth waitin’ for.” He sighed, giving Jim one last grind before he rolled over onto his back next to him. “But I am totally gonna jerk off in your fucking bed because I can’t fucking think my dick is so hard.” 

Jim was thankful for Harvey’s patience, touched that he cared enough not to pressure him. He didn’t know how long it would take him to be ready, but he hoped Harvey was willing to wait. Until then, there were certainly other things Jim thought he was ready to try. 

“I could… help you,” Jim said, cuddling up close. He felt more sure of himself, a little braver now, and he rested his hand on Harvey’s stomach. 

“Are you sure?” Harvey asked him, licking his lips anxiously. God, how he wanted Jim to fucking touch him. “I told you, we ain’t gotta rush.” 

“I want to.” Jim was determined, unbuttoning Harvey’s jeans and wishing his hand wasn’t shaking. He was excited, adrenaline making every inch of his skin buzz. He was shy at first, slowly reaching down Harvey’s pants. He was searching for the hem of his underwear, blushing when his fingers immediately hit hair and flesh. “You, uhm…” 

“Don’t wear underwear?” Harvey winked. “Not usually.” 

Jim blushed and chuckled nervously, grateful for Harvey’s sweet smile to reassure him. His fingers moved until he found Harvey’s cock, rock hard and begging to be touched. Jim was amazed how hot it felt, the thickness more than a little daunting. 

Harvey took a deep breath, scooting his pants down underneath his ass. He curled his fingers through Jim’s hair, eager for more, but he was patient. He hummed softly when Jim finally took hold of him, squeezing firmly and slowly began to stroke him. “Fuck, yes… that’s real fucking nice.” 

Jim was amazed by Harvey’s reaction, how quickly his pale skin began to flush, and how his body started tightening up. This wasn’t as awkward as he thought it was going to be. He had plenty of experience with his own equipment, after all, so he understood the basics. 

But pleasing someone else, that was where he was starting to feel nervous again. Jim kept stroking him, trying to find what rhythm Harvey liked, how he liked to be touched, but thankfully Harvey was so vocal that nothing was left to chance. 

“Just like that,” Harvey breathed softly, watching Jim’s hand intently. “Mm, a little faster. Use, use your thumb to like, press against the head of my dick when you go up. Damn! Yes! Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. Like that.” 

Jim followed every instruction to the letter, and Harvey was absolutely melting. Jim was so eager to please him, and it felt fucking fantastic. Harvey shuddered, feeling a tight heat coiling up tight down in his loins. “Fuck, Jimmy!” he whined, gasping loudly. “There, I’m fuckin’ coming!” 

Jim stared in awe, watching long streams of come shoot over Harvey’s stomach, how his body seemed to rear up as he trembled in his grip. But his face, that was the most beautiful part. Harvey’s mouth hung open as if to scream, his whole face contorted with passion and slowly relaxing into a soft expression of pure bliss. 

“Fuck,” Harvey groaned softly, a cheeky smile tumbling over his lips. His eyes fluttered open, gazing up at Jim. He pulled him in for a kiss, purring, “Damn, boy… that was fucking good.” 

“Really?” Jim was positively beaming. 

“Uh huh,” Harvey smirked. He quirked an eyebrow, chuckling, “You can let go of my dick now, Jimmy.” 

“Oh! Sorry!” Jim blushed, sitting up quickly. He picked his bloodied shirt up from the floor, wiping off his hand before tending to Harvey. “I really like watching you, like… a lot.” 

“Mmmhmm,” Harvey hummed happily. “Now you see why I like getting you off so much… which! Speaking of.” He paused to grab a sip of beer, grinning playfully as he pulled his jeans back up. “I seem to recall someone saying something about blowing.” Harvey scooted down until his head was right at Jim’s crotch, undoing his pants and yanking them down. 

“Harvey!” Jim squeaked, flopping onto his back as Harvey fought with his pants. 

“Lay back,” Harvey gently commanded. “Get all comfy.” 

Jim was amazed how quickly Harvey managed to strip him down, leaving him in nothing but his socks. He slowly rested his head back against the pillows where Harvey had just been, resisting the urge to pull the covers over himself. No one else had seen him naked like this before, his cock bobbing against his stomach and completely exposed. 

“Fuck, you are so hot,” Harvey complimented, running his hands over Jim’s thighs. He looked over every bit of him, smiling lustfully. Damn, he was lucky to have all of this to himself. He had to admit it was a huge rush knowing he was the first one to touch Jim, and now? To be the first one to taste him? 

Oh, fuck yes. 

He bowed his head, pressing little kisses here and there, slowly working his way towards the base of Jim’s cock. He settled down between his legs, propped up on his elbow and his hand slowly wandering over his thigh and up towards his groin. 

Jim’s brain was absolutely fried from sensation, whining desperately. The anticipation was agony. “Harv… I… what do I do?” 

“You just relax and let me suck your dick until you bust in my mouth,” Harvey replied calmly. 

A small moan got choked up in Jim’s throat. Damn, Harvey said the nastiest things and fuck, was it hot. 

Harvey slipped the head of Jim’s cock past his lips, delighted in how Jim’s hips bucked up immediately. He wanted to enjoy every second of this, leisurely running his tongue along the shaft of his cock and slowly letting his mouth take in every inch. 

Jim wasn’t ready for the sensation, not at all. It was too hot, too wet, fighting to keep his hips flat and stop his legs from drawing up. Damn it! He couldn’t stop crying out, whimpering shamelessly when he felt his cock hit the back of Harvey’s throat. This wouldn’t take long at all. 

Harvey drew back, sucking softly and lapping his tongue around the head of his cock before sinking back down. Jim moaned out so sweetly Harvey would have smiled if he could have. He began to suck him with more purpose, sliding his cock in and out of his mouth with a quickening pace. 

Jim was falling apart, his back arching in spite of his best efforts to control his body. He was so close, embarrassed he was only seconds away from coming. He tried to hold off, wishing for a moment that Harvey’s mouth didn’t feel so good. He didn’t want it to be over this soon. “Harvey,” he whined pitifully, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. “I’m, oh, I’m gonna…!” 

Harvey immediately sped up, blowing Jim like his life depended on it. He felt him tensing, heard him gasping for breath, and finally shuddering as he unloaded into his mouth. He felt Jim’s hand clawing at his hair, his hips bucking up and nearly threatening to choke him as his cock rammed deeper down his throat. 

Harvey took it all in stride, swallowing his come and licking around him to keep from gagging. When Jim was completely spent, he pulled away, smirking up at him and licking his lips. “You good, Jimmy?” 

Jim laughed weakly. He couldn’t even speak, raising up his hand and giving him a thumb’s up. He was broken in the best possible way, wiping his eyes. 

Harvey grinned, crawling up to lay beside him, throwing his arm around his waist and kissing him. 

Jim grabbed him by his neck, kissing him back passionately. He thought he might cry or scream, maybe both; he was so emotional, shaken by everything they’d just done. To some people, it may have just been screwing around. But for Jim, it was so much more than that. He resisted getting too worked up, letting his kiss say everything he didn’t know how. 

Harvey was surprised by how intense the kiss was, but he loved it. Jim made him feel like the stuff they did together was _special_ , and he didn’t want to lose that feeling. He felt Jim wince, remembering his busted lip. He pulled away, grimacing. “Shit, sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it is so very okay,” Jim laughed, smiling brightly as he waited for his breathing to slow down. 

Harvey watched Jim pant, loving how his eyes were blown up as big as saucers, and a dark blush had peppered its way all across his chest and neck. “Think we’re gonna miss second period,” he observed playfully. 

Jim grinned, turning his head to stare over at Harvey, completely dumbstruck. “Ya’ think?” He groaned contently, taking Harvey’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “That was… wow. I’m sorry, it was… that I was so quick.” 

“Shut up,” Harvey said sweetly. “Don’t be. It’s a hell of a compliment, you know. Means you like it.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Jim smirked, his thumb brushing over Harvey’s. “Good… because it really was perfect.” 

Harvey snuggled close. He thought about making a smart ass comment, but he was enjoying the moment too much. He decided to keep his mouth shut, kissing Jim’s shoulder and sighing. 

Jim closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet and the warmth seeping through him. He never wanted to leave this bed again. He shifted slightly to kick his comforter up, slipping his legs underneath and pulling it over them. 

He rolled over onto his side, keeping Harvey’s arm around his waist and getting comfortable. It would be so easy to drift off. 

“Not that I’m opposed to skipping class to spoon?” Harvey chuckled, his breath hot against the back of Jim’s neck. “But we do have an assignment to turn in… you know. Eventually, I guess.” 

Jim mumbled, grabbing the clock off his bedside table and quickly setting an alarm. “There. We’ll just go back after lunch, okay?” 

“Bad ol’ Jimmy,” Harvey teased, kissing his shoulder. “Skipping school! Pickin’ up some of my nasty habits.” 

“I’m just… enjoying this,” Jim said defensively. “It’s much nicer than screwing around in a closet or a damn alley, okay? And we… we may not get to do this a lot.” 

“Jim Gordon?” Harvey said, his tone serious and stern. “I promise you, I will suck your dick any time, any place.” 

“You know what I mean,” Jim complained. “Like, actually be in a bed together.” He paused, clearing his throat, shyly adding, “And… cuddle?” 

Harvey nuzzled close, nodding. “I know,” he said softly, a bit uncertain. “This is really fuckin’ nice. I really… I really do like you.” 

“I like you, too.” Jim smiled, finding Harvey’s hand and holding on tight. What he felt for Harvey was unlike anything he had experience before. It was terrifying and wonderful, completely captivating. He knew it was still too soon to be sure, but he thought he could fall in love with Harvey Bullock. He quietly hoped that maybe, just maybe, Harvey felt the same way. He was already starting to doze, his body finally crashing from the intense high he had shared with Harvey. 

“Hey, Jim.” 

“Hmmmm?” 

“I meant it.” 

“Meant what?” Jim lifted up his head curiously, wondering what Harvey was going to share. He sounded so warm, so sincere; could it be he felt the same way as Jim? Could he- 

“I really would suck your dick, like, fucking anywhere.” 

“Ugh,” Jim groaned, flopping back down and laughing disgustedly. “Go to sleep! You asshole!” 

“Yup. _Your_ asshole,” was Harvey’s smug reply. 

Jim chuckled, replying contently, “Damn right.”


	19. Another Title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey get ready to head back to class.

Jim Gordon woke up not from the blaring of his alarm clock, but from a much more pleasant sensation; Harvey’s mouth down between his legs. He was proud that he lasted longer this time, able to thoroughly enjoy Harvey’s considerable oral talents. 

“You… are so very good at that,” Jim sighed when they were done, “You are gonna spoil me.” 

“Good,” Harvey chuckled, crawling upwards and stealing a kiss. He glanced at the clock. “Mmmmph. Come on. We gotta head back soon.” 

Jim pouted, groaning, “Exactly when did you become so responsible?” 

“Eh, somewhere around the time I met you,” Harvey teased, kissing his flushed cheeks. He wiggled out from the blankets, hopping up to his feet. “Come on, you.” 

Jim reached over to turn off the alarm, wide awake now. He stretched his arms, grunting contently. “Mmph. I don’t want to move.” 

“I bet I can persuade you,” Harvey taunted, smiling wickedly. He grabbed the blanket, promptly pulling it right off the bed and uncovering Jim. 

“Harvey!” Jim protested loudly, snatching one of the pillows and trying to give himself some modesty. 

Harvey watched Jim writhe around, enjoying the view with a smug grin. “We gotta get moving, or I’m just gonna get back in bed with you.” He grabbed his beer from the bedside table, finishing it off even though it was scuzzy and warm. He belched softly, batting his eyelashes and saying, “Pardon moi.” 

“Very sexy,” Jim chuckled. 

“You know it!” Harvey grabbed the shirt Jim had given him earlier, tugging it on. He picked up Jim’s boxers and pants, tossing them to him. “Shit. We still gotta pick out new pictures.” 

Jim stared at the shirt Harvey was wearing, almost missing the clothes thrown his way. He was smiling, but sadness was tugging down at his expression. He blinked, agreeing, “Yeah. Let me just get dressed real quick.” 

Harvey watched Jim get out of bed and get ready, mindlessly digging around in his closet. He immediately sensed something was off, asking, “Hey. Are you okay?” 

“Fine,” Jim fibbed. He grabbed a blue t-shirt and put it on, searching around for his shoes. 

“What’s wrong? Your face feeling all right?” Harvey frowned, surveying the damage once more. 

“Better than yours,” Jim laughed, trying to change the subject. He found his shoes, sitting down on the edge of the bed and slipping them on. He grabbed the photographs from his bedside table, flipping through quickly and trying to find suitable replacements to turn in for their assignment. 

“Hey,” Harvey grunted, plopping down beside Jim and gesturing towards his bruised eye. “Don’t let this shiner worry you. Plenty of winners have had ‘em, you know?” 

Jim rolled his eyes, asking quietly, “What are we gonna do about Flass?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, shouldn’t we do something?” 

“I already did!” Harvey laughed. “I seem to recall giving him a mouthful of tile.” 

“No, I meant… Do we tell someone? Try to turn him in?” Jim stopped his picture flipping to look at Harvey. “We could get him suspended, kicked out or something!” 

“Yeah, and get our asses kicked out right next to his!” Harvey snorted. “Gotham High ain’t exactly got a real fair policy when it comes to fighting. No tolerance, get it? We rat him out, we could get in trouble, too.” 

Jim sighed, shaking his head. “So, that’s the way things are? Even if it was self defense?” 

“It wasn’t exactly a hundred percent self defense,” Harvey snorted. “I mean, I didn’t stop, Jimmy. Not until you grabbed me…” He tilted his head, searching Jim’s face. “Is that what’s bothering you? Flass?” 

“No, it’s not that,” Jim said quietly, glancing back to the photographs. He frowned, tensing when Harvey’s hand rested on his thigh. 

“Jim. This whole talking about our problems thing you’re so keen on?” Harvey smirked. “You know it’s gotta go both ways. So, why don’t you tell me what’s up? If it’s not this shit with Flass, what is it?” 

Jim’s shoulders drooped in defeat, knowing Harvey was right. “It’s not a big deal… and I don’t want you to freak out, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“The shirt you’re wearing,” Jim explained. “I didn’t really have anything else that would fit you, it’s… it was my dad’s. The last time I saw it was when he wore it.” 

Harvey frowned, fidgeting. He wasn’t really sure how to respond. He supposed he could just wear his bloody shirt, maybe try to run home and change? He scratched the back of his head, asking hesitantly, “Do you want me to take it off?” 

“No, you’re fine. Really.” Jim nudged their shoulders together, smiling sadly. “I just miss him is all.” 

“You guys were… close?” 

“Very,” Jim sighed. “He was my best friend.” He forced a wider grin, saying, “I think he would have liked you.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Harvey glanced down at the shirt, noting, “He had great taste in music, sorry he ain’t around so I coulda met him.” 

“Me, too.” Jim took a deep breath, refusing to let himself get upset. He started flipping back through the photographs, saying quickly, “So! I think it’s crazy, but I am gonna turn in this really classy one of you flipping the camera off. It’s my favorite.” 

“I’m sure Mr. Groat will love it,” Harvey laughed. He wrapped his arm around Jim’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. “You sure that’s a good idea?” 

“Well, the assignment was to take a portrait, and this is a very accurate portrait of you!” Jim honestly wanted to keep it, but he wanted to get a good grade. It was a little risky, but it really was a great photograph. He glanced over at Harvey, asking, “You have that one of me, don’t you? The one of me smiling?” 

“Maybe,” Harvey replied innocently. 

“You should really turn that one in,” Jim suggested. “The rest of these are sort of blurry.” 

“Meh, I don’t wanna risk Mr. Groat not givin’ it back… I’m keeping it. How about you find me the least blurry one and we get goin’, huh?” 

“I guess I didn’t think about that. Him keeping them, I mean. Well! We have the negatives,” Jim pointed out. “We can get more copies made.” 

“Nah, I like the one I got.” 

“Stubborn.” 

“Yup!” Harvey cheered. He stood up, taking Jim’s hand and helping him to his feet. He held him close, kissing him sweetly. “Besides, wouldn’t be right to hand that picture over after all that stuff I’ve done with it…” 

“You’re sick,” Jim groaned, swatting at him in protest. 

Harvey laughed as they finished getting ready to head back to school, assuring him, “In many, many ways.” 


	20. Leaving Your Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey never realized he was a jealous person before; at least, until he saw Barbara Kean hitting on Jim.

The next few days of class came and went, thankfully with no further trouble from Arnold Flass or any of his friends. Harvey was taking no chances and had insisted on walking Jim to every one of his classes. 

Jim enjoyed the attention. Harvey wouldn’t hold his hand out in the hallways or kiss him unless they were alone, but he showed affection in other ways. When they walked together, he always stayed glued right to his side. He would always carry Jim’s backpack for him and when he handed it back, he would lean in close to whisper something in his ear; sometimes sweet, usually lewd. 

Jim wanted to respect Harvey’s wishes, but it was hard. He wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to show everyone in the whole school that they were together. Harvey had warned him that he didn’t like being affectionate in public, but Jim hadn’t been fully prepared for how frustrating it was. 

It drove him crazy to be so close to Harvey and not be able to get all the attention he desperately craved. They hadn’t had much time alone to speak of and that certainly wasn’t helping. They had Harvey’s lunch breaks at work to be together, but that never felt like it was enough. 

Jim kept thinking about the morning they spent in his bed together and wished they could spend every morning like that. They had managed to be intimate a few times, but sticky fumblings in alleyways couldn’t compare to snuggling next to his boyfriend in his own bed. 

Jim was idly doodling at the corner of his notes, sighing. He caught himself drawing out little hearts about the letters ‘HB’. He smiled at himself, glancing at the clock. Almost time. 

The class finished up, the bell ringing and signaling freedom. Jim packed away his notes, eager to get out into the hall to wait for Harvey. On his way, he felt a tug at his arm. He flinched, turning to see Barbara Kean smiling sweetly at him. 

They had a few classes together and she was always very friendly. Perhaps _too_ friendly. 

Jim returned the smile, waving and calmly greeting, “Hey, Barbara.” 

“Jim!” she gushed, looping her arm around his as they headed out into the hallway. “Would you mind walking me to my class? I wanted to ask you something.” 

Jim carefully disentangled his arm from hers, shaking his head. “Sorry, Barbara. I’m waiting for Harvey.” He was not oblivious to Barbara’s affections. From the first day of school, she had made many advances; all of which he politely declined. 

It wasn’t that she was unattractive; far from it, in fact. Barbara was quite beautiful and had an edge of excitement to her, something a little dangerous; not too unlike Harvey, Jim thought. But while Harvey was relaxed and easy going, Barbara always seemed ready to pounce. 

Jim had made it very clear to her that he wasn’t available. He was very happy with Harvey and had told her several times. Perhaps he was imagining things, but he swore she was only trying harder since finding out he and Harvey were dating. 

“Oh, Jim,” Barbara pouted. “I’m sure Harvey wouldn’t mind! It’ll just take one little second.” She gently pawed at his shoulder, long nails dragging along his shirt sleeve, laughing, “It’s hardly fair for him to keep you all to himself.” 

“You c-can just ask me here,” Jim said, blushing faintly. God, he hoped Harvey would be here soon. He had been trying so hard to be nice to her, but she didn’t seem very keen on taking ‘no’ for an answer. 

Harvey had left his class and was hurrying over to find Jim. He saw him and frowned, seeing he wasn’t waiting alone. Fucking great, Barbara Kean. He scowled when he saw Barbara’s hands lingering too long on Jim’s shoulder. He stalked towards them, trying to resist the urge to slap her grubby paws off of Jim. 

“Oh! Hey, Harvey!” Jim’s face lit up when he realized his boyfriend was here to rescue him. He broke away from Barbara, eagerly moving to Harvey’s side. 

“Ready to go?” Harvey asked shortly. 

“Jim and I were just chatting,” Barbara said quickly, batting her eyelashes. “He is a total doll! Sooo very smart. I’m trying to see if he’ll help me study for our next exam. I’m having some friends over later, sort of a little… study group.” 

Harvey didn’t like the way that broad was looking at Jim, not a fucking bit. He forced a smile, throwing his arm around Jim. “Oh, too bad. Jimmy here has already got plans.” 

Jim’s heart did a somersault, blushing profusely as Harvey pulled him close. He had not been expecting this, but he wasn’t about to complain about the sudden burst of affection. He glanced between Barbara and Harvey, realization slowly dawning on him. Harvey was _jealous_. 

Jim couldn’t help himself, asking innocently, “Oh, I do?” 

“Lots and lots of plans,” Harvey reassured him. 

“But I didn’t even say when,” Barbara said, her teeth clenching. “I’m _sure_ Jim couldn’t possibly be that busy.” 

“Nope, super busy,” Harvey drawled. “Sucking my dick takes up so much of his time.” 

“Ulgh!” Barbara groaned, instantly repulsed. 

“Harvey!” Jim had wanted his boyfriend to be more open about their relationship, but this was not what he had in mind. 

“See you later, Babs!” Harvey called out cheerfully, whisking Jim off towards their next class. 

“I can’t believe you said that!” Jim hissed when they were safely out of hearing range. 

“I can’t believe you ain’t told that crazy broad to fuck off!” Harvey shot back. 

“I have! I mean, sort of?” Jim looked sheepish. “I’ve tried!” 

“Have the words 'fuck off’ actually left your mouth?” 

“No, I’m trying to be nice-” 

“Nice don’t compute with a chick like Babs. Trust me, she’s just gonna keep trying.” Harvey’s face soured, adding bitterly, “And you letting her feel you up like that? Definitely not helping the message get through, capische?” 

“She was not feeling me up,” Jim groaned. Okay, maybe she was, a little. 

“Yeah, fuckin’ right,” Harvey grumbled, making a sudden detour and pulling Jim into boys’ bathroom. He checked to make sure they were alone before dragging Jim down into the handicap stall. 

“Harvey! What are you doing?” Jim asked, watching dumbly as Harvey locked the door behind them. 

Harvey pulled Jim’s backpack off his shoulders and dropped both of their bags on the floor. He leaned Jim face first against the wall and pressed right behind him. He reached around Jim’s hips, unbuttoning his pants. “Remindin’ you that only one motherfucker should be feelin’ you up and that’s _me_.” 

“Harvey! You’re jealous!” Jim was shocked, gasping when Harvey’s hands slipped inside his boxers. 

“Shut up,” Harvey grumbled. He refused to acknowledge his obvious envy. He wasn’t usually the type of guy that got jealous, but there was something about the way Barbara had been touching Jim that pissed him off. It made him feel uncharacteristically possessive and he wanted nothing more than to rub it in Barbara’s face that Jim belonged to him and him alone. 

Harvey grabbed Jim’s cock, massaging him slowly and sucking at his neck. He was determined to remain confident, growling, “Ain’t fuckin’ nothing to be jealous of!” 

Jim’s hips bucked backwards, his dick quickly growing in Harvey’s hand. He could feel Harvey’s cock digging against his ass, his head starting to spin. He couldn’t believe they were messing around at school and the way Harvey was starting to grind against him took his breath away. 

The bell was ringing for the next class, but they both ignored it. 

Harvey was clinging to him so tightly, biting down on his shoulder and sucking harder. Jim whimpered, his voice trembling as he cried, “Harvey! That’s, oh!” He pressed his cheek against the cool tile wall, panting, “I’m close.” 

“Mm, I know,” Harvey whispered, his breath hot against Jim’s ear. He ran his thumb over the head of Jim’s cock, playing in the precome that was oozing. “You always get so fucking _wet_.” 

Jim closed his eyes, whining softly. He gave himself over to Harvey’s skilled fingers, his back arching and shamelessly rubbing against him. 

Harvey kissed his neck, sucking hard and biting again, determined to mark him up. He jerked him harder, faster towards completion. In this position, it was so easy to imagine being inside Jim. He was so tempted to slip his other hand down the back of Jim’s pants, maybe just slide a finger in. 

Harvey resisted, but groaned at the thought. He told himself it would be worth waiting for, keeping himself in check and biting Jim’s shoulder to release a little frustration. He didn’t have much more time to fantasize, Jim gasping out his name and his body trembling as he came all over the bathroom wall. 

Harvey gently stroked him through each spasm, kissing his neck softly and murmuring, “Feel good?” 

Jim nodded, sighing contently, “So very good.” He wiggled around to wrap his arms around Harvey’s neck, kissing him eagerly. 

Harvey chuckled, kissing him back and smirking smugly. “Damn right.” He kissed Jim’s blushing cheek, grabbing some toilet paper to get everything cleaned up. He kissed him again, very pleased with himself seeing the purple welts he’d left all over Jim’s neck. 

“What about you?” Jim asked, a pang of guilt hitting his gut. Harvey definitely spent more time getting Jim off then Jim did him. 

“Well,” Harvey teased, “I did tell Barbara you were gonna be busy sucking my dick?” He saw the nervous expression on Jim’s face and shook his head, pulling him in for another kiss. “Don’t worry about it. I keep telling you! I like making you come. You ain’t always gotta do me.” 

Jim smiled softly. He wasn’t sure what he had done to deserve such a sweet and patient boyfriend, watching him pick up their backpacks and unlock the stall door. “I want to, you know, do more,” he said shyly. “It just feels weird doing stuff at school or at your job.” 

“I know,” Harvey said, frowning. “I’ll try to make some time this weekend, okay? I promise.” He hated to see Jim upset, daring to reach out and take his hand. “Come on. Don’t want to be any more late than we already are.” 

Jim’s heart fluttered, squeezing Harvey’s hand as he started to lead them out of the bathroom. “I would really like that, I just want it to be… special. I wish we had more time to oh, my God, Harvey, what did you do!” 

“Hmm?” 

Jim had frozen in place, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and the lovely collection of purple hickeys Harvey had left on his neck. “What did you do! _Harvey_!” 

“Oops?” Harvey said innocently. 

“Oh, my God. You are so _dead_!” Jim started playfully wailing on Harvey’s shoulder. “I can’t believe you, I’m going to kill you!” 

“Ha!” Harvey cackled, bouncing out of harm’s way and bolting towards the door. “Gotta catch me first!”


	21. Eh Plus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey get their first grades in photography class!

The day had arrived for Mr. Groat to give them their grades for their first assignment. Jim’s stomach was full of butterflies, knowing that turning in the photograph of Harvey flipping off the camera had been a big risk. He hoped it would pay off. 

He was also hoping that the hickeys Harvey had left all over his neck yesterday would have faded some, but no such luck there. His mother had been particularly entertained when she saw them, asking silly things like if he had gotten into a fight with a vacuum cleaner and lost. Jim had not been amused. 

He was happy that Harvey was starting to become more comfortable being affectionate in front of other people. Still didn’t want to kiss, but he would ease his arm around Jim’s shoulders or hold his hand when they said goodbye between classes. He suspected it had something to do with Barbara, but whatever the reason he was so glad that Harvey was opening up. 

As they took their seats in photography class, Jim squeaked when Harvey reached over and squeezed his leg, teasing him, “You look like a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs.” 

“Huh?” Jim boggled, too distracted by the warm hand on his thigh. 

“Nervous, I mean you look nervous,” Harvey chuckled. 

“Just want to do well,” Jim said with a shrug. 

“Bah, it’s gonna be fine,” Harvey reassured him. He leaned close, dropping his voice and whispering playfully, “If you don’t get an A, I’ll totally blow you in the bathroom to cheer you up.” 

“And if I do?” Jim grinned. 

“I’ll still blow you,” came the happy reply. 

Jim blushed, shaking his head in disbelief. His boyfriend was such a lovely mess. He turned his attention towards the front of the classroom, tapping his foot anxiously when he saw Mr. Groat walking in. 

The students all settled down and he began passing back small folders to each student, saying cheerfully, “I’m happy to say that everyone did very well! A few of you need a little work, but I was very lenient with the grading this time around, don’t worry. I look forward to seeing what else you guys come up with as the year goes on. So far, I’m very impressed.” 

Since Harvey and Jim were in the very back of the classroom, theirs were the last to be returned. Harvey opened up the folder with his photograph of Jim, pumping his fist in victory. The note inside read, “B- This is a good angle, good lighting, but try to work on getting your subject in focus”. 

Shit, if he got a B with the crap picture he turned in, Jim had to have gotten the A he wanted so desperately. He glanced over at Jim, expecting to see his bright and happy smiling face. But he didn’t look happy at all; he looked like he was about to throw up. 

“What’s wrong?” Harvey whispered. 

Jim grimaced, tilting his folder over so Harvey could see. Mr. Groat had placed a piece of black tape over the offending gesture. Where his grade should have been, there a small sticky note demanding, “See me after class”. 

“Fuck,” Harvey hissed in sympathy. 

Jim hung his head, sighing miserably. He had known it was risky, but he thought he had been fulfilling the assignment faithfully. It truly was an accurate portrait! He wanted to curl up under the table and die. What if Mr. Groat wrote him up? Was he going to get in trouble?! 

Even Harvey patting his leg did little to comfort him. 

The class crawled by, reviewing the history of photography. He started describing the process of creating daguerreotypes, but Jim wasn’t listening. He kept staring at the note, his mind racing and thoughts tainted with dread. 

The ringing of the bell woke him out of his thoughts, standing up on wobbly feet. Harvey rested his hand on Jim’s shoulder, saying softly, “Look, I’ll wait right by the door, okay? I’m not gonna leave you by yourself.” 

Jim nodded numbly, shuffling slowly towards Mr. Groat’s desk. The other students were leaving, soon it was just the two of them; well, three counting Harvey hovering just on the inside of the door. 

Mr. Groat smiled warmly at Jim, saying, “I wanted to talk to you about the portrait you turned in.” 

“Right,” Jim gulped. 

There was a loud fumbling sound from the doorway. Jim cringed, wishing his boyfriend was a bit more discreet. 

“Harvey,” Mr. Groat said without his eyes leaving Jim, “I know you’re there. Please step outside. If you’re waiting for Jim, I promise you this won’t take long. I’ll write you both hall passes for being late, okay?” 

Jim winced when he heard the door slam upon Harvey’s exit, fidgeting. “Mr. Groat, I didn’t mean to offend you or-” 

“Did you take any other pictures?” 

“Sir?” Jim blinked. 

“For the assignment, do you have any others?” Mr. Groat asked calmly. He didn’t seem angry; that was good at least. 

“Uh, yeah,” Jim nodded, reaching into his back pack. He had brought the pack of other photographs just in case he needed to turn in another one, nervously handing them over. 

Mr. Groat flipped through them, eyeing each one carefully. He lingered on the shots Jim had taken of Harvey with his mother, smiling. 

Okay. Yes, a smile. That had to be good, right? Jim continued to fidget, biting his lip. The silence was terrible and felt as if it stretched on for eternity. 

“You’re not in trouble, Jim,” Mr. Groat said at last. “I wanted to talk to you because I think you’re a very talented young man. These pictures are nothing short of fantastic. Especially these.” He gestured back to the ones of Harvey with his mother. “And while I did like the one you turned in, but you have to admit it was a little, ahem, cheeky?” 

Jim nodded quickly, stuttering, “I-I know, and I’m sorry! The assignment was to turn in a portrait and I really felt like it was the best, like, the most true representation of Harvey, and-” 

“No, no,” Mr. Groat chuckled. “I agree. It was very much the epitome of Harvey Bullock. It was an excellent photograph. But perhaps in the future, maybe don’t turn anything in that I might feel the need to put tape over?” 

“I can do that,” Jim agreed quickly. 

“I’m not a fan of censorship, but the school does have its standards for what they may consider indecent and I have to follow the rules, too, okay?” Mr. Groat handed the pictures back to Jim, smiling again and telling him, “You have an excellent eye, Jim. You could be a great photographer one day if you wanted to be.” 

“Th-thank you!” Jim was positively beaming now, putting the pictures away and smiling bright. 

Students were starting to filter in for the next class, Mr. Groat taking a pad of paper from his desk drawer and writing up two hall passes. He offered them out, nodding, “Here you go, Jim. I’ll see you later, okay?” 

“Yes! Thank you!” Jim grabbed the passes and had almost made it out the door before he skidded to a stop. He turned back around, asking politely, “Uh. Mr. Groat, sir. So, what was… what was my grade?” 

“Oh!” Mr. Groat laughed. “Sorry, I almost forgot. A+, Mr. Gordon. Keep up the good work!” 

Jim grinned, practically floating out the door. Harvey was right there waiting for him, his expression screwed up tight with concern. 

“What did he say? What’s wrong?” Harvey demanded, searching Jim’s face for clues, holding his hand tight. 

Jim was dazed, replying softly, “He said… he said I could be a great photographer someday. He… he really liked the picture. I got an A+…” 

Harvey began dragging him cheerfully towards the boys’ bathroom. “Hell yeah! See, I knew you didn’t have anything to worry about it.” 

“Wait. Where are we going?” 

“Don’t you remember?” Harvey laughed. “Somebody got the grade they wanted and I always keep my promises. Plus, we got these awesome ass hall passes, so I’m going to take my motherfuckin’ sweet time.” 

Jim blushed through ten shades of red as he recalled Harvey’s promise of fellatio, happily following him into the bathroom. “You are such a great boyfriend,” he gushed as they hurried into the handicap stall at the end. 

“Oh,” Harvey sighed sweetly as he dropped to his knees, batting his eyelashes, “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't they just the cutest? <333


	22. Quack Quack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim spend some time in the park.

“You have fun working on that Panasonic whatever. I’m smoking.” Harvey promptly flopped down in the middle of the grass, producing a cigarette and his lighter from his pocket. 

“Panoramic,” Jim corrected. 

“Whatever,” Harvey laughed as he lit up. 

“Panasonic is a type of television,” Jim laughed, checking the settings on his camera. He rolled his eyes when Harvey flipped him off, sighing, “Oh, so charming.” 

It was Friday and Mr. Groat had instructed them to bring their cameras to class today. They were going to be creating panoramic photograph collages and he encouraged them to use this class period to explore the school to work on their project. But school hallways and staircases were not suitable subjects for Jim; that’s what _everyone_ else would be doing! 

He dragged Harvey down to Gotham City Park, just a short walk away from their school, to find something worthy for this assignment. The park was a tiny green oasis in the middle of the city’s gray jungle of steel and stone. There was a small bridge overlooking a pond and the view caught Jim’s eye. Right by the shore, a small group of trees looked especially inviting and over they went. 

Harvey had little interest in the assignment, not nearly as excited as Jim was, and had parked himself right in the shade. 

Jim had settled for capturing the span of the trees’ branches dangling down into the water and the shoreline occupied by the feathered folk. His camera started eagerly snapping away, scolding Harvey, “You should be taking pictures.” 

“I am!” Harvey protested, taking a long drag of his cigarette. “I am taking pictures with my brain. Like, picturing you naked, all stretched out in your bed, my mouth around your-” 

“Oh, my God!” Jim groaned loudly. “Can you go like ten minutes without thinking about sex stuff?” 

Harvey exhaled thoughtfully, saying, “Maybe six…” 

Jim rolled his eyes, taking more pictures and finishing up the roll. Satisfied, he walked over to sit down beside Harvey. He fidgeted with his camera, saying carefully, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure, what’s up?” Harvey was immediately curious. There was no telling what could come out of that pretty mouth. 

“I’ve been sort of wondering. And it’s totally not a big deal. Have you… has it been… uh. Have you been with… is it… a lot?” 

Harvey smirked, amused. “You wanna know if your boyfriend is a slut?” 

“No! I mean, I’m just… it’s intimidating that you’re so experienced, okay?” 

“Do you really wanna know?” Harvey sighed. 

“Yeah,” Jim said sheepishly. 

“Seventeen,” Harvey replied, “And a bunch more I just screwed around with.” He realized Jim was staring at him in shock, laughing, “Don’t look at me like that, you fuckin’ asked!” 

“You really had that many boyfriends?” Jim asked, blinking wide. 

“They weren’t exactly my boyfriends,” Harvey snickered. “And there were ladies, too. But none of them were ever that fuckin’ serious.” 

“If they weren’t your boyfriends or your girlfriends, why did you do it?” 

“Uh, because sex feels good?” Harvey arched his eyebrows. He peered over at Jim, honestly surprised he had asked something he thought should have been obvious. 

“I’m sure it does, I just…” Jim was awkward, fumbling to find the right words. 

“Jim,” Harvey said kindly, sensing his struggle and starting to understand his confusion. “Your parents probably told you that sex should be special and you should wait for that perfect person, right?” 

Jim nodded. 

“And that’s totally cool, sex _can_ be this really special thing.” Harvey paused to puff on his cigarette, adding, “But it can also be just fucking around.” 

“So, is that what we’re doing?” Jim asked with a frown. “Fucking around?” 

“Shut up,” Harvey drawled. “You’re fucking fishing for something.” 

Jim refused to acknowledge the accusation, fumbling around with his camera and ignoring him. He had figured Harvey was pretty experienced, but the number had surprised him; and made him feel desperately insecure. 

Harvey groaned, peeking up at Jim. It was written all over his face how upset he was despite his very best efforts to hide it. He gave Jim an affectionate nudge, sighing, “Jim… what we got? And damn you for making me say it out loud… it _is_ special, okay? I really like you.” 

“Yeah?” Jim brightened up a little, smiling down at Harvey. 

“Fuck yeah.” 

“Did you care about any… of the others?” Jim asked softly. 

“Sure. You know, for like fifteen minutes?” Harvey chuckled, but cleared his throat when he saw the distraught expression on Jim’s face. “Okay. Seriously. There was one or two that were really cool, but it never lasted. You’ve gotta understand, Jimmy. I lost my virginity when I was thirteen. Sex wasn’t this great fuckin’ special thing. You just did it and moved on. If you were really lucky, you got to do it a couple of times.” 

Jim put his camera aside, shuffling down so he was laying next to Harvey. He tentatively leaned his head on his shoulder, asking, “So. Is it always just about sex with other people?” 

“Most of the time,” Harvey answered honestly. He shifted to slip his arm around Jim, pulling him up onto his chest. He gave his boyfriend a knowing smile, saying softly, “I know what you’re worried about, Jimmy.” 

“Oh?” Jim pursed his lips, musing, “Are you a mind reader?” 

“Yup! I am, as a matter of fact. Let’s see…” He pretended to concentrate, wrinkling up his forehead. “You’re worried I might just be with you to get in your pants ‘cause now you think I’m a sex crazy maniac?” 

“Something like that,” Jim begrudgingly admitted. 

“Look, I promise you, Jimmy. If I only cared about was sex, I wouldn’t be with you. I’d be out somewhere else gettin’ laid right now instead of hanging out with you, very much /not/ getting laid.” 

“You always know just what to say,” Jim chuckled and snuggled up close, pressing a sweet kiss to Harvey’s lips. “And you’re really willing to wait for me?” 

“As long as it takes,” Harvey replied with a shrug. “I keep trying to tell you; good things are worth waiting for. And you’re pretty much the first really good thing I’ve ever had.” He let Jim enjoy the tender moment before teasing, “You know, my mind readin’ powers are telling me something else now…” 

“Oh, God. What?” 

“That you’re gonna be thinking about sucking my dick in about ten seconds,” Harvey said smugly. 

Jim groaned and buried his face into Harvey’s chest, mumbling, “You’re horrible.” 

“Except now you totally are thinking about it,” Harvey snickered. “My prediction was correct!” 

Jim scowled, taking a page right out of Harvey’s book and flipped him off. 

“Why, James Gordon,” Harvey gasped. “Making such rude gestures. what would your mother say?” 

“That you deserve it,” Jim giggled. He rested his head against Harvey’s chest, bringing his arm over his waist. 

Harvey smiled, kissing Jim’s forehead. “Probably so!” 

Jim closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet that followed. It was a beautiful day, a tiny bit of sunlight managing to poke through the clouds, and Jim was content. He knew they would have to head back to class for the last period of the day, but for now he wanted to enjoy this. 

He heard Harvey finishing off his cigarette and felt him take his hand once he was done. He listened to the ducks quacking over by the pond, the wind moving through the trees above them, Harvey’s soft breathing. He was _happy_. 

“Harvey?” Jim said softly, tangling their fingers together. 

“Hmm?” 

“Thank you,” he breathed. “For being so good to me.” 

Harvey kissed his brow, giving his hand a squeeze. “You ain’t gotta thank me. You’re good to me, too.” 

“There’s uhm… there’s something else I’ve been wanting to ask you. Something I want to try?” 

Harvey could have easily fallen asleep there under that tree with Jim in his arms; but now he was _wide_ awake. He tried not to sound too excited, asking calmly, “Oh? What’s that?” 

“When you, uhm… put your mouth on me… do you ever… put it, well, do you ever go… lower?” 

“Jim,” Harvey said, biting his lower lip and taking a deep breath. “Are you trying to ask me if I’ll eat your ass out?” 

“Can’t you say just 'rimming’?” Jim moaned, mortified. 

“Why? You couldn’t even say it!” 

Jim whined, “I’m sorry! It’s embarrassing, okay? To, you know, have to ask.” He blinked as he felt Harvey start to move away from him, looking up to see his boyfriend gathering up their things. “Wha-what are you doing?” 

“Come on,” Harvey said, reaching for his hand and helping him up to his feet. “Your mom won’t be home for a few more hours, right?” He grinned wickedly. “Apparently, I’ve got some, ahem, rimming to do.” 

“Harvey! We’ll miss class!” Jim protested weakly. 

“This is totally like class!” Harvey laughed as he began to pull him along towards the sidewalk. “This is sex education.” 

“Oh, God.” 

“Yup, definitely gonna be sayin’ lots of that!”


	23. Educational

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey teaches Jim all sorts of new things. <333
> 
> NSFW. Shameless smut. Because smut. Little fluffy and tender at the end, but mostly smut. Did I mention the smut?
> 
> It was actually going to be way longer, but I was really happy with the ending I wrote and decided to leave it be. Enjoy!

Harvey Bullock would have run to Jim’s apartment if he didn’t think he would have died along the way. He really needed to quit smoking. He was already out of breath from excitement, his heart pounding with anticipation. The second the door shut behind them and they were safely inside the apartment, Harvey immediately dropped their bags on the floor. 

“Harvey, the cameras!” Jim complained. 

“Don’t care!” Harvey laughed. He grabbed Jim tightly around his waist, lifting him right off the ground. 

“Ah! Harvey!” Jim started laughing as Harvey swung him over his shoulder, marching them towards his bedroom. “Don’t you dare drop me!” 

“Watch your head!” Harvey warned as he stepped through the doorway, trying to dip low enough so he wouldn’t clock Jim’s dome on the frame. They made it into Jim’s bedroom without injury and tumbled onto the bed together. 

Jim sighed happily as Harvey collapsed on top of him, their lips meeting in a heated kiss. He pulled Harvey’s hair down so he could run his fingers through it, moaning excitedly as Harvey’s hands began to feel all over him. 

Harvey stripped off Jim’s shirt, his own following quickly, bare chests meeting as they kissed again. He was trying not to get too carried away, but God, was he fucking excited. Any chance to be more intimate with Jim was a fucking thrill and he was really looking forward to this. He forced himself to slow down, his kisses deeper and more tender, less tongue and more lip. 

Jim was already starting to tremble, lost in the press of Harvey’s body against his, the gentle way their bodies rocked together as they kissed. He pouted when Harvey pulled away, but he wasn’t sad for long. Harvey was pulling off his pants and underwear, leaving him with nothing but socks and a smile on. 

Harvey smirked, throwing the clothes off to the floor, running his hands over Jim’s stomach and his hips. He was so pleased that Jim was already hard, teasingly dragging his fingers over his shaft as he got settled down between his thighs. He pushed Jim’s hips up to give him better access, resting one of his legs on his shoulder. “Ready?” 

“Ready,” Jim confirmed, taking a deep breath. 

“Just try to relax,” Harvey murmured. “But if you don’t like it or it makes you uncomfortable, just tell me to stop, okay?” 

“Okay,” Jim replied, his voice shaking with anticipation. He watched Harvey’s head dip down, warm kisses trailing along his thigh and up between his legs. Oh, God, he was right _there_ , right at his- 

Harvey started with long, warm licks, running his tongue flat over Jim’s hole. He could him feel tense up from the new sensation, taking his time until he felt him start to relax again. He started licking with more purpose, pausing to softly suck at the tender tissue and reveling in the little gasps he heard coming from Jim. 

He began to probe with his tongue, darting in and out. The sounds Jim started to make were positively pornographic, whimpering softly as Harvey went to work. He pushed deeper, but he could barely get much more than the tip of his tongue in. Fuck, Jim was tight. 

He glanced up, realizing Jim was slowly stroking himself while he ate him out and Harvey shuddered. It was fucking hot as hell and encouraged him to work even harder to please him. 

“Oh, _God_!” Jim whined when he felt Harvey’s tongue slipping a little deeper inside of him. His leg at Harvey’s shoulder flexed, wanting to somehow pull him closer. It felt amazing, but it was a tease. He found himself wanting more, wanting a stronger sensation. He tipped his head back, begging softly, “More, please…!” 

Harvey was giving Jim everything he had, lifting up his head and panting exasperatedly, “More what, baby? Tell me, what do you want?” 

“Your fingers,” Jim whined, too strung out on pleasure to be shy. He had only dared to touch himself in that way a few times in the shower when he was feeling adventurous. But right now, it was all he could think about. “In me, please?” 

Harvey silently thanked whatever God there was up in the sky, eagerly scooting up to get into a better position. He laid down beside him, rolling him over so his chest was pressed to Jim’s back and reached down between his legs. 

He slowly circled a fingertip around Jim’s slick hole, biting his lip so hard he thought he might draw blood. His other hand wrapped around Jim’s neck, gently tilting his head towards him and kissing his cheek. “Ready?” 

“Please?” Jim pleaded, leaning into Harvey’s mouth, breathless and wanting. 

Harvey smiled softly, his cheeks flushing as he looked over Jim and how eager he was. Fuck, how did he get so damn lucky. He carefully slipped his finger in, only about halfway, watching Jim’s expression as he grappled with his first taste of penetration. “Just breathe,” Harvey soothed, “Are you okay?” 

Jim nodded, whining softly. It felt intrusive, strange at first. There wasn’t much of a sting and he nodded again, more certain. “Mmm, okay. I’m okay.” 

Harvey was patient, slipping his finger in and out slowly, letting Jim get used to the feeling. He kissed Jim’s shoulder, his finger finally hitting the knuckle and gently probing inside him. 

Jim was not a quiet lover, not at all. Every stroke of Harvey’s finger was leaving him whining, whimpering Harvey’s name and gasping for air in between. He began to push his hips back, desperate for more. “Harvey… please…” 

“What is it?” Harvey purred, absolutely delighted at what a beautiful mess Jim was in the throes of passion. He loved knowing he could make this gorgeous boy fall apart, kissing his neck and asking sweetly, “What do you _need_ , Jim.” 

“More,” he begged. 

Harvey drew his hand back to slick up another finger, slowly moving now to slide two inside of him. He felt Jim tense, fuck, he was so damn tight. He dumbly wondered how he would ever get his cock to fit in there, the mere thought making him ache. “Relax,” Harvey sighed, gently sliding his fingers back out. 

“Okay,” Jim sighed, his hands clenching and unclenching at the sheets beside him. Two fingers were definitely a bit more than one, a hint of a sting this time when Harvey slid them back in. But Harvey was so patient, fingering him so lovingly, the pain dissolved in a few strokes and soon Jim was moaning passionately. 

It was amazing, beyond compare. It was nothing like what he had done by himself. He had never felt so vulnerable, so raw; a complete slave to Harvey’s long fingers dancing inside him. “Fuck! Harveyyyy,” he whined, completely shameless as he rocked his hips back onto Harvey’s hand. 

“Goddamn,” Harvey mumbled, fingering Jim harder. The harder he pressed, the louder Jim got. He could feel him twitching, grinning lewdly as he realized Jim had reached down and started jerking himself off again. “Come on,” he urged, “Come on, baby…” 

Jim was a total wreck, not able to focus on anything else except the feeling of Harvey’s fingers inside of him and the tight heat coiling up in his loins. God, he was so fucking close. Harvey suddenly turned his wrist at a different angle, fingers searching as they fucked him, and oh, what was /that/. “OhmyGodwhatGodthat’s, that'sohmyfuckingGod, pleasedon'tstopdon'tstop,” Jim began chanting, jerking his hand as fast as he could. Whatever Harvey was pressing against made it feel like a tidal wave was about to come crashing over him. 

Harvey focused on that spot, massaging it mercilessly, encouraging, “Come on, Jimmy. Come for me.” 

Jim bit back a yell, his whole body shaking. There, right fucking /there/. His vision went white, coming so hard his moans became choked sobs. He ground himself against Harvey, savoring every last motion of his fingers, stroking himself through each lingering quiver. He took a deep, sobbing breath, gasping, “Oh, my… God!” 

Harvey eased his hand away, wiping his fingers off on his jeans and gently kissing Jim’s shoulder. He held him close, suddenly worried. Jim was crying! “Are you okay? Did, did my fingers get too dry? Did I hurt you?” 

Jim turned over, shaking his head wordlessly. He pressed his face into Harvey’s chest, sniffling back tears. He couldn’t even speak, fearful if he opened up his mouth he could cry harder. 

Harvey was horribly confused, cradling Jim tight and pressing kisses into his hair. “Baby, please talk to me,” he pleaded. 

Jim took a few ragged breaths, tilting his head up. He smiled shakily, saying, “It was… it was so good. I’ve… I’ve never felt _anything_ like that…” He wiped his eyes hastily, mumbling, “I’m sorry I… it was really intense.” 

Relief washed over Harvey, kissing Jim tenderly. “You sure I didn’t hurt you?” 

Jim wrinkled up his forehead, smiling shyly. “Maybe just a little sore, but not bad, I promise… I… Harvey.” 

“What is it?” Harvey asked softly. 

Jim gazed at Harvey with such adoration, his hands reaching up to touch his face. He could hardly describe the warmth that was radiating through him. He had never thought it was possible to let someone so close or to feel so deeply connected. Harvey had been _inside_ of him and Jim swore he had somehow left a piece of himself behind. 

Jim wish he knew how to describe the amazing things he was feeling. It all bubbled up from deep within and left every bit of him tingling. It was so sweet a sensation it was making his heart ache. If he gave himself over to it, he knew it would consume him entirely and bring him to tears once more from its sheer beauty. 

“You’re absolutely incredible,” Jim said at last, “Harvey, you’re… you’re everything to me.” 

Harvey was touched, not knowing how to respond except to kiss him. Everything with Jim felt so different; it felt _real_. The way Jim was looking at him made his heart stumble right over itself. It was terrifying. 

No one had ever looked at him like that. 

Harvey didn’t want to ever be without this feeling, understand now why he had always been so afraid to stay with anyone. Caring for someone else meant having something to lose and Harvey had already lost so much in his short time on this planet. But this, what he had with Jim, he was determined to hold on and never let go. 

Harvey ran his hands over Jim’s back and hips, murmuring against his lips, “Ditto, Jimmy.”


	24. Going Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventures of Harvey and Jim continue! <3
> 
> A short little fluffy bit before more wild plot appears!

Harvey’s head was once again between Jim’s thighs, determined to ease any residual ache from his earlier exploration and eager to taste him again. He kept his hands to himself, busying them with his own persistent erection. He loved pleasing Jim, but he did have his own needs to tend to. 

And after what they had done, Harvey didn’t think his brain had enough blood to function since all of it seemed to have been pumped down in his dick. Being that close to Jim had been so incredible. 

Harvey came before Jim, shuddering and gasping, but determined to finish Jim off himself this time. He tucked his hair behind his ears, swatting away Jim’s hands and let his mouth take over on his cock. It didn’t take Jim long, moaning and cursing from so much stimulation, climaxing once more and becoming a human pile of goo. 

Harvey was smug, cuddling up beside Jim and kissing his cheek. He was so cute when he was flushed like this. Harvey stretched out his long legs, tangling them together with Jim’s, sighing in satisfaction. “Damn,” he laughed, “Now I need a fuckin’ nap.” 

“Uh huh,” Jim panted, still lost somewhere up in the clouds. 

Harvey chuckled, kissing his face again and settling into the pillows. He really could doze off if he wasn’t careful. 

Jim was finally coming back down to earth, a big and goofy smile tumbling over his lips. “So… I really like… rimming.” 

“Awww,” Harvey teased. “Little Jimmy likes having his ass eaten out?” 

“Ugh! Why do you have to say it that way! It sounds so nasty.” 

“I think it’s sexy,” Harvey declared. 

“You’re so ridiculous,” Jim sighed, wiggling himself underneath the blankets. He pulled them up over Harvey, snuggling close. There was something so sweet about being able to cuddle together in bed that Jim absolutely loved. He was relaxed, enjoying the few beats of silence that passed between them. 

“Fuck, I could go for a smoke,” Harvey mumbled, disrupting the quiet. 

“Can’t smoke in here,” Jim warned, “My mom will totally know.” 

“C'mon,” he whined. “What if I stick my head out the window?” 

Jim considered it for a moment, finally giving it when Harvey began to pout. “Fine! But all the way outside, I mean it!” 

“You got it!” Harvey grinned triumphantly. He kissed Jim before jumping up to grab his pants off the floor to get his smokes. He hopped back in bed and rolled back towards the window beside Jim’s bed, opening it up wide. He leaned on his elbows, hanging his head outside as he lit up, exhaling contently. 

Jim smiled, looking over Harvey’s naked body, shamelessly sprawled out across his bed. He noticed a little bit of smoke was still trailing its way into his room, but he said nothing. Definitely more candles, he decided, some sort of air freshener. 

Jim glanced over at his clock, frowning. They had definitely missed last period and he knew their time together was winding down. His mother would be home in a little bit, and Harvey would need to get back to his before he went to work. There never seemed to be enough time. 

“Do you think we could go out sometime?” Jim asked suddenly. “Like, maybe go see a movie or something?” 

“Jim,” Harvey sighed. He sounded tired, taking a long drag. “I can’t do somethin’ like that for you. And I don’t want you doin’ it for me if I can’t reciprocate. You dig?” 

“Couples go out,” Jim said indignantly. “They go on dates!” 

“Jim, did you already forget the, ahem, sandwich incident?” Harvey cast a sour look back over his shoulder. 

“No, I didn’t forget about the stupid sandwiches,” Jim replied stubbornly. 

“I ain’t real keen on people doin’ shit for me that I can’t do myself.” 

“But this isn’t just about doing something for you, you know. I want to be able to go out on a date with you! Me, Jim Gordon, wants to go out somewhere! I haven’t been to a movie in months! Actually no, it’s been almost over a year since I’ve gone out with someone!” 

Harvey jumped on this chance to change the subject, asking casually, “Oh? Was this a date? One of your old girlfriends?” He snorted, taunting, “Did you harass them into going out with you, too?” 

“I am not harassing you, I am strongly asking,” Jim grunted. “And no, this wasn’t a girlfriend, it was a boy.” 

“A boy, eh? You went out on a date with another guy?” Harvey took a thoughtful drag of his cigarette, asking playfully, “Was he a tall, gorgeous redhead like me?” 

“No, he was short with black hair and it wasn’t a date! I mean, it wasn’t supposed to be, I think? I mean, I know he liked me. He liked me a lot, you know, he _like_ liked me. He was a super sweet guy, but it was just - oh, damn it!” Jim was floundering, frustrated that Harvey had successfully diverted the conversation. “Harvey! I want to take you out on a date.” 

Harvey groaned, flicking his cigarette out onto the street and rolling back towards Jim. “It’s not fair if I can’t return the favor. Don’t you get it. I don’t feel right, it’s like it’s fucking charity.” 

“It’s a _relationship_ ,” Jim countered, determined now. “It’s not charity! It’s just, your boyfriend wants to do something that we’ll both like.” 

“Fuck, you’re stubborn,” Harvey complained, scowling. He didn’t like this at all, snapping, “Don’t you get that it makes me feel like shit I can’t take you out?” 

“W-Well,” Jim stumbled before regaining his footing, snapping back, “Don’t you get it makes _me_ feel like shit not being able to go out with my boyfriend because his stupid pride gets in the way all the time!” 

Harvey’s nostrils flared, biting his tongue before he said something idiotic. He was getting pissed off quick, trying to keep his temper in check. He was already sick of this conversation, but he could see the hurt in Jim’s face. 

Harvey took a deep breath, rolling his eyes as he replied, “All right. Maybe… maybe we could go out sometime.” He smiled at the way Jim’s face lit up, sighing begrudgingly, “Fucking _maybe_ , okay?” 

Jim could tell Harvey was close to giving in. To seal the deal, he promised, “If you let me take you out on a date, I’ll blow you.” 

Harvey’s eyes went wide, surprised and impressed by the daring offer. He narrowed his eyes, snarling playfully, “Oh, now you’re just playing fucking dirty!” 

“Uh huh,” Jim grinned. 

Harvey flopped backwards, sinking into the pillows and groaning, "Fiiiine. One date. One!“ 

"Yes!” Jim laughed happily, jumping on top of Harvey and kissing him eagerly. 

Harvey grumbled lightly, accepting defeat and kissing Jim back. He lightly nipped at his lower lip, teasing, “What kinda monster are you, taking advantage of an innocent man like me?” 

“Innocent?” Jim scoffed, leaning back and resting his hands on Harvey’s chest. “You?” 

“Yes! Me.” Harvey smirked, running his fingers over Jim’s legs. Having him on top like this, straddling him, his ass pressed right against his cock was giving Harvey’s body all sorts of fun signals. He bumped his hips up against Jim’s, saying with a wink, “Although you sittin’ on my dick is giving me some very not so innocent ideas.” 

“Oh! Sorry!” Jim smiled sheepishly, rolling off to cuddle up to Harvey’s side. 

Harvey kissed Jim’s forehead, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he got settled back underneath the covers. He glanced over at the clock, sighing. “You know, I gotta get going here soon.” 

Jim attempted to burrow himself into Harvey’s chest, pouting. “Just a little bit longer?” 

Harvey couldn’t refuse him, smiling as he replied, “Just a little bit.” 

“I’ll still see you tonight, right?” 

“You got it,” Harvey nodded. Jim coming to visit him at work was always the highlight of his night. 

“Good,” Jim said with a big grin. “We can talk about our date!” 

“And that blowjob you’re gonna give me,” Harvey added smugly. 

“Ri-di-cu-lous,” Jim groaned, emphasizing each syllable with disgust. 

“Damn right.”


	25. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have their first date! <3

Persuading Harvey Bullock to go on a date turned out to only be half the battle; the remaining struggle was trying to actually find a day when they could go out. Harvey worked almost every night, and the few nights he was off he wasn't comfortable leaving his mother alone for very long. It seemed as if the date was never going to happen; until he happened to mention that one of their neighbors was a very sweet older lady who would occasionally check in on his mother when Harvey had to run errands or while he was at school. 

It took a bit more persuasion, but Harvey gave in and asked his neighbor if she would mind checking in on his mother while he was out. She was only too happy to help out, especially when she found out it was because Harvey had a date. 

"Handsome boy like you should be out on dates all the time!" she had gushed, pinching his cheeks lovingly and cackling. 

Harvey had tolerated the prodding, happy that he could report his success back to Jim the next day at school. 

Jim was absolutely over the moon, counting the days down until their date night. Even though it meant waiting, they managed to settle on a Friday night. Harvey didn't have work, and neither one of them would have school the next day so they were free to stay out late. 

Jim had agreed to meet Harvey over at his place after school. Harvey argued that the movie theater was closer to his apartment than Jim's was, but Jim knew it was because he didn't want to leave his mother until the absolute last minute. He didn't say anything, finding Harvey's devotion to his mom as endearing as ever. 

He'd changed his shirt three times before finally deciding on a white t-shirt and a dark blue polo shirt. He didn't want to be too dressed up, but this was a date! He wanted to look nice. He splashed on cologne, kissed his mother farewell, and hurried out the door. 

Jim couldn't remember the last time he had been this excited. As he hurried down the few blocks to Harvey's place, he realized that they had been dating now for three weeks. Almost a month! 

This was by far the most intimate relationship Jim had ever had. Obviously in terms of sexual shenanigans since he had barely kissed any one else before Harvey, but it was so much more than that. Harvey made him _happy_. His favorite moments were those in bed together, holding each other and talking, laughing. 

He couldn't remember his heart feeling so light; not since before he lost his father. 

When he found himself standing in front of Harvey's door, he realized he was a little nervous. He wiped his sweaty palms off on his jeans, taking a deep breath and raising his hand to knock. 

There was a quiet shuffling on the other side of the door before it opened, Harvey standing in front of him and looking like an absolute dream come true. 

His hair was down, brushed back behind his ears in loose waves and still damp from a shower. He was wearing the cleanest pair of jeans Jim had ever seen him wear and they fit in all the right ways. He had on a dark red button up shirt that he hadn't fastened up yet, leaving open to show off a white tank top that clung to his lean stomach. 

Jim couldn't speak, staring dumbly, and feeling his cheeks heat up. 

Harvey was equally enamored, smiling shyly and saying, "Hey." 

"Hey," Jim forced himself to respond. He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck where he could feel the blush spreading. "You, uh, you ready to go?" 

"Not yet," Harvey said. He stepped back from the doorway, explaining, "My ma wants to meet you." 

"S-she does?" Jim gulped. He followed Harvey inside, the sound of the door shutting made him jump. 

Harvey reached out to take Jim's hand to reassure him, smirking softly. "She's never met any of my, uh, boyfriends? I ain't ever been on a real official date before." 

Jim let Harvey lead him towards his mother's bedroom, his heart throbbing up in his throat. God, he thought he had been nervous before. 

"Ma? Still awake?" Harvey asked, softly knocking on the door. 

"Come on in!" Although her voice was weak, she sounded excited. 

Harvey smiled, giving Jim a wink as he opened the door and walked inside. He brought Jim right up beside the bed, saying, "Ma, this is Jim." 

Jim did his best not to stare, but it was hard not to and he had to make some form of eye contact. He didn't want to be rude, but Harvey's mother was truly a tiny and frail thing. He wondered how she didn't get sucked up into the fan being so small. He managed a shy smile, greeting, "H-hi! It's, it's uhm, nice to meet you." 

Harvey's mother smiled and immediately Jim could see the resemblance between them. They had the same crooked little smirk and their eyes both wrinkled up with a hint of mischief when they laughed. She was chuckling, say softly, "Oh, don't be so nervous, dear." She reached out for Jim's other hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's nice to meet you, too." 

Her hand felt so cold and delicate in his, afraid that if he held it too tightly it may break. 

"I hear you've been keeping Harvey out of trouble," she commented, smirking smugly at her son. "No easy task." 

"It's definitely not," Jim agreed, laughing in spite of his nerves. He smiled warmly at Harvey, adding, "But it's worth it." 

"Handsome _and_ sweet," she noted, eyeing Harvey again. "You'd better not fuck this up." 

"Yeah, yeah," Harvey snorted, rolling his eyes while Jim blushed. "I hear ya', ma. You got all your meds?" 

"Yes!" 

"And snacks and batteries for the remote?" 

"Yes, and yes. Go on!" She shooed at her son, smiling softly. 

Harvey leaned down to kiss her brow, dragging Jim back out the door. "Okay! We're going now!" 

She waved, laughing, "Have fun!" 

"Your mom used the 'f' word," Jim hissed as they hurried out the door into the hallway, still shocked. 

"Yeah," Harvey blinked. "Where the fuck do you think I learned it from!" 

~

By the time the previews had ended and the movie was finally starting, Jim couldn't even remember what film they had decided to watch. Every step of this date had been a struggle; he should have known watching the actual movie would be no different. 

Jim had thought getting Harvey to agree to going out was gonna be the hard part, but ever since he picked him up from his apartment it had been a battle. On the way to the theater, they started arguing. They couldn't agree on what movie to see. Harvey liked action and horror flicks, Jim wanted something with mystery and drama. They were soon bickering right outside the theater and the minutes ticked by until they had no choice to see a horror movie or risk having to wait until the next showing. 

Despite his victory, Harvey still remained defiant. At the concession stand, he refused to let Jim get him any beverage or snacks. After looking at the prices, Jim could hardly blame him, but still resolved to get a drink and a small popcorn for himself. 

When it was time to go into the theater, neither could agree on where to sit. Harvey won out again, happily parading to the very back of the theater with Jim pouting as he followed behind. 

They got settled in, Jim lifting up the armrest between them so they could be close. Despite the rocky start, he was determined to make the best of this date. Harvey rested his arm around Jim's shoulders, finally seeming jrelaxed as they watched the previews flickering by on the screen. Jim's irritation was fading, lost to Harvey's gentle touch and how warm he felt against him. It was finally starting to feel like a real date and Jim was happy; at least, until Harvey tried to take some popcorn. 

"Hey!" Jim hissed, swatting at Harvey's thieving hand. "I asked if you wanted any, and you said no!" 

"What?" Harvey scoffed. "I just wanted a little bit!" 

"You could have gotten your own!" 

"Not letting you pay that much for some fucking popcorn!" 

"So, what! You'll steal mine?" 

"Yes!" 

Jim kept trying to dodge Harvey's prying fingers and the whole bag of popcorn spilled right onto the floor. He narrowed his eyes at Harvey, furious. 

Harvey smiled sheepishly, saying softly, "Now if you had only shared..." 

"You are such an asshole!" Jim hissed, throwing Harvey's arm from off his shoulders. "You've been a jerk ever since we left the damn apartment!" 

"This isn't easy for me!" Harvey snapped. He sighed, looking repentant and pouting. 

Jim crossed his arms, glaring hotly. "What are you talking about!" 

"It ain't easy leaving my ma, okay?" Harvey huffed. "What if..." He cut himself off, refusing to let any negative thoughts in. He had already done enough damage to this date as it was. "Look, I'm really trying, okay?" he whispered, very carefully slinking his arm back around Jim. 

Jim resisted, staying stiff as a statue. "You're still a total dick. I know your mom is super important, but it's no reason to be-" 

"I know," Harvey soothed. "I know I've been a real jerk, and it was a real dick move spilling the stupid popcorn..." He felt Jim starting to lean into him again, smiling. "And damn, now you're gonna miss the first part of the movie." 

"Huh?" Jim didn't understand what Harvey meant at first until he felt a hand sliding into his lap and right between his legs. "/Harvey/!" 

"Let me make it up to you," Harvey purred, his mouth right at Jim's ear and gently nibbling. 

"Harvey," Jim whined, positively melting. He glanced around, suddenly realizing the obvious advantages to sitting in the very back. There was no one else in their row and no one seated directly in front of them. Even so, he wiggled in protest when Harvey started unbuttoning his pants. "Harvey, the movie!" 

"Don't care," Harvey sighed happily, sliding his hand down into Jim's underwear. 

Jim squeaked, eyes fluttering as Harvey's fingers wrapped around him. All he could do was tip his head neck into the crook of Harvey's shoulder, panting softly. The movie was starting, but there was no way he could focus enough to watch it. "Damn it, Harvey." 

"Mmmhmm," Harvey replied contently, nuzzling against Jim's neck and slowly starting to stroke him. 

"You've absolutely ruined our date," Jim mumbled, trying to remain hostile as he could with Harvey jerking him off. 

"Totally," Harvey agreed. 

Jim couldn't respond, biting his lip to hold back a moan. It was at this point he completely forgot what movie they were watching, his arms falling to his sides and trying to find something to hold onto. He found Harvey's leg, grasping on for dear life. 

Harvey softly kissed his neck, stroking him faster and enjoying all the beautiful expressions he saw twisting up Jim's face in the flickering light from the movie screen. He loved how easy it was to make Jim fall apart, teeth gently nipping at his jaw and adoring the loud gasp it earned him. 

It didn't take long before Jim was tensing and shuddering, gasping softly, "Harvey, I'm... I'm close!" 

Harvey quickly realized it was probably rude to make his date come all over himself, coming to a singular conclusion on how to handle clean up. He bowed his head down, taking as much of Jim's cock into his mouth as he could. 

Jim's hips bucked up from the hot, wet sensation and came immediately, hands clawing into Harvey's hair as he tried to hold back a loud whimper. He went limp in his seat, sighing contently as Harvey lovingly sucked every last bit out of him, pulling away with a departing lick. 

Harvey sat back up, smirking happily as he snuggled up against Jim again. "Better?" he asked softly. 

"Mmmm," Jim nodded dumbly. He hadn't even fixed his pants yet, taking a deep breath. He glanced up at Harvey, chastising him, "You know you can't fix every fight like this." 

"Like how?" Harvey asked innocently. 

"You know how!" Jim finally adjusted his pants, glowering. "With your mouth and whatever!" 

Harvey smirked, pressing a kiss into Jim's hair and murmuring, "Seems to be working so far." 

Jim rolled his eyes, looking up at the movie screen just in time to watch a monster devour its helpless victim. He grimaced, turning his head away from the gore. "I'm /serious/." 

"So am I," Harvey countered, pulling Jim closer. "I ain't real good at talking... but I'm good at other stuff, okay?" 

Jim huffed, but he knew what Harvey was trying to say. His boyfriend was definitely no wordsmith, but he did have his own special techniques for expressing himself. "So, a handjob is your way of telling me that you were upset about leaving your mother and sincerely apologizing for being such a tool?" 

"Something like that," Harvey shrugged after a long thoughtful moment. 

Jim smiled, cuddling close. "Apology accepted."

~

The movie concluded in a bloody flourish, delighting Harvey and making Jim vow he would never watch any horror flick again. As they departed the theater, Jim reached over to take Harvey's hand. His face flushed when Harvey didn't pull away, letting their fingers lazily twist together. 

"You know, I'm going to have nightmares because of you," Jim complained as they walked along the sidewalk. 

"Awww," Harvey teased. "Do you want me to come over and tuck you in? Check under your bed for monsters?" 

"Shut up," Jim laughed, bumping their shoulders together. 

"Don't worry, Jimmy," Harvey said sweetly, breaking their hands apart so that he could sweep his arm around his shoulders. "I won't let any undead monsters eat your brains. I'll protect you." 

Jim leaned into him, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. All joking aside, there was no doubt in his mind that Harvey would. Whether it was from brain sucking ghouls or high school bullies, he knew Harvey would always be there to protect him. The affection that was growing between them was like nothing Jim had ever known and there was no other place in the world that made him feel as safe as he did in Harvey's arms. 

The walk back to Harvey's apartment was pleasant, lightly chatting until they reached his floor. Harvey stopped to see the neighbor who was checking in on his mother to get a report and let her know he was home now. He thanked her again before heading to his own door, leading Jim inside and asking him quietly to wait. 

Jim did as he was asked, rocking on his heels as he watched Harvey disappear into his mother's room. The neighbor's good report was apparently not enough, he thought with a smile. The light was off, certainly she was fast asleep given the late hour, but Jim knew Harvey wouldn't be able to relax until he saw her himself. 

When Harvey came out of the bedroom, Jim asked softly, "She okay?" 

"Oh, yeah. She's great," Harvey nodded. He chuckled, adding, "Passed the fuck out watching cartoons." 

"Good," Jim smiled. He took Harvey's hands, telling him happily, "I'm really, really glad we got to go out. I had a really good time." He wrinkled up his nose and tilted his head thoughtfully. "Even if it was a little rough at first." 

"I was not _that_ bad," Harvey snarked, sticking out his tongue defiantly. "And hey, I already apologized, thank you very much. Seriously, I had fun, too. Like, a lot. Thank you." 

"You're welcome." Jim was absolutely beaming, pleased that the date had gone so well. "Maybe," he began tentatively, "Just _maybe_ , you'll let me take you out again sometime?" 

"Hmmm." Harvey leaned down, kissing Jim's lips softly. He pressed their foreheads together, continuing to hum in thought before answering playfully, "I'll have to think about it." 

"Hey, that's not a no!" Jim wound his arms around Harvey's neck, shivering when he felt his boyfriend's hands slipping underneath his shirt. It was too easy to lose himself in Harvey's embrace, kissing him again and pressing against him tightly. 

"Do you wanna stay for a little bit?" Harvey asked, perhaps too earnestly. He cleared his throat, his usual swagger falling into place as he teased, "Unless it's past your bedtime?" 

Jim ignored the taunt, smiling as he replied, "I could stay." He swallowed hard, summoning as much courage as he could for what he was about to say. "You know..." 

"Hmm?" Harvey nuzzled Jim's neck, curious. 

The thought had been on Jim's mind ever since he had promised it, and James Gordon always kept his promises. He was nervous, but determined. He tried to sound as coy as possible as he teased, "Well, I do remember telling someone I'd give them a blow job..." 

Harvey's cheeks flushed, the possibility of Jim doing _that_ was instantly appealing. He hadn't taken Jim's offer too seriously before, but oh, he was definitely interested. The mere thought made his cock twitch, fidgeting as he said, "Jim, are you sure? I mean, I wasn't gonna hold you to it." 

"Yes," Jim breathed. He kissed Harvey hard, trying to show how eager he was to try, murmuring, "I really want to." 

"Well, fuck," Harvey sighed, smiling brightly. "Who the fuck am I to refuse?" 

Jim let Harvey lead him back towards his bedroom, glancing around curiously. He had never been in Harvey's room before and now he knew why. 

It was a complete mess. 

Clothes, trash, and books cluttered the floor, and the faint smell of cigarettes lingered in the air. The only light came in from Harvey's window, stacks of beer cans piled up on the sill casting long shadows across his bed. Harvey carefully led Jim over, warning him, "Be careful." 

Jim managed to step across the treacherous floor, flopping into bed next to Harvey. They slowly tangled together, bodies and lips slowly melding together. Harvey was in no hurry, kissing him tenderly and his hands sneaking slowly up Jim's shirt. He made sure to straddle Jim's thigh, lewdly rubbing against him. 

Oh, Jim could feel _that_ , he could feel every inch of Harvey's erection digging into his leg and he was already breathless from making out. He reached down between Harvey's legs, feeling him up, trying to be more confident. The way Harvey moaned at his touch certainly did the trick, now tugging insistently at the hem of his shirt. 

Harvey complied with the unspoken request, stripping off his shirt and throwing it to the floor with the rest of his laundry. He went a step further, kicking off his shoes and slowly sliding his pants down. He gasped when he felt Jim's hand reach down and grab his cock, thrilled Jim was feeling so sure of himself. It was unbelievably sexy. 

Harvey had to bite back a growl as Jim's fingers stroked him, murmuring softly, "We gotta be quiet..." 

"Uh huh," Jim panted, grinning wide as he began to slowly move down Harvey's body, punctuating his journey with little kisses. "Why are you telling me that? You're the one who's gonna be moaning." 

"You cheeky little fuck," Harvey snorted affectionately, impressed at Jim's newfound bravado. He rolled onto his back, eagerly watching Jim descend. 

Jim was suddenly too hot, pulling off his shirt and lowering himself down between Harvey's legs. His heart was heavy with nerves, absolutely dumbfounded at how to even begin. He had wanted to do this so much, to please Harvey the way he had pleasured him so many times. Now that the moment was actually here, he felt a little lost. Harvey always made this look so easy, but Jim felt certain there was no way all of _that_ was going to fit in his mouth. 

"You can just use your hand to start," Harvey offered, sensing Jim's sudden hesitation and gently nudging his cheek. "Just, you know, take your time." 

Jim nodded, smiling shyly. Grateful for the advice, he gently wrapped his hand around the base of Harvey's cock. What was left to work with was still daunting, but much more manageable. He gulped, slowly bowing his head and tentatively licking the tip. 

He heard Harvey grunt approvingly and licked him again, a long line from where the grip of his hand ended and back over the head. He could taste the first few drops of precome, happy that Harvey was already so excited. After a few more laps, he realized he was treating this like eating an ice cream cone and not a proper blowjob. 

Harvey didn't seem to mind, watching him reverently, biting at his lower lip. 

Jim took a deep breath, determined, finally taking Harvey's cock into his mouth. It was so much thicker than he first thought it would be, so very hot, struggling to get his lips around him without his teeth dragging against the tender flesh. 

Harvey gasped loudly, his voice a low purr as he praised, "Fuck, Jim... there, just like that, baby. So fuckin' good." 

Jim felt his ears burning from the compliment, working his mouth eagerly over Harvey's shaft. He started sucking softly, squeezing his hand on what he couldn't fit past his lips. God, there was just so _much_. He grunted in frustration, nearly gagging himself when he tried to take Harvey deeper. 

He felt Harvey's fingers running through his hair, his voice gently soothing him, "Don't force it, mmmph. It's okay. Just keep using your hand, it feels fuckin' good." 

Jim had to pull away, panting and nodding, swallowing back the spit that had flooded his mouth. He kept his hand moving, stroking Harvey while he caught his breath. His mouth was already starting to feel numb, but he had made up his mind to finish this. 

He started sucking Harvey again, moving his fingers in the same rhythm of his mouth. Harvey's hips were tensing, his fingers tugging softly at Jim's hair. Jim loved the encouragement even as drool was pooling from the sides of his mouth, sucking him harder and moving his hand faster. His jaw was starting to ache from the unfamiliar motions, a wave of pride and relief washing over him as he heard Harvey quietly hiss, "Fuck, Jim, I'm comin'." 

Jim gasped as he felt Harvey's hips jerk up, choking as his mouth suddenly flooded with hot come. He tried desperately to swallow it, but he couldn't. It was too much, too weird, and he didn't know what to do. He pulled off of Harvey, gagging and trying to catch the mix of drool and come threatening to spill from his mouth. 

Harvey was there in an instant, pressing something soft against Jim's lips and wiping away the mess. "Easy, baby," he purred, kissing Jim's hair. 

Jim was grateful for the assistance, quickly wiping his mouth - what was this, a towel? A shirt? "I'm sorry," he sighed, "I didn't mean to-" 

Harvey silenced him with a kiss, pulling him close and pushing his tongue into Jim's mouth. God, he loved tasting himself on Jim's lips, humming in satisfaction. "You were fucking fantastic," he purred, licking the edges of Jim's mouth. 

"Really?" Jim blushed, laughing softly. 

"Really." Harvey ran his hands over the sides of Jim's face, smiling softly. He'd had his share of head before, but this was different; just like everything with Jim always was. It was more intimate, sweeter, leaving him with a funny sort of glow that warmed him all the way down to his toes. He couldn't quite place it, but it was almost like- 

"I'm _definitely_ going to need more practice," Jim teased, breaking Harvey out of his thoughts. 

"That can definitely be arranged," Harvey assured him with a sweet kiss, chuckling. 

Jim finished wiping himself off, looking down at the fabric in his hands. In the dark, it was hard to make out exactly what Harvey had given him to clean up with. He squinted, frowning as he slowly asked, "Harvey..." 

"Yeah, baby?" Harvey was leaning back against his pillows, perfectly satisfied. He could not imagine a better way to end their date; well, maybe a few other ways, but this was definitely at the top of the list. 

"Did you..." Jim tilted the material towards the dim light of Harvey's window, grimacing. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Harvey. Is this _my_ shirt?" 

"Uhhhh..." Harvey's eyes widened. He had just fumbled to grab the first thing he could get his hands on, grinning sheepishly. "There is a very good chance that yes, it might be. Here, watch your eyes." He hopped off the bed, turning on a small lamp. 

Jim scrunched up his face, waiting for his eyes to adjust before assessing what he was holding. It was indeed his shirt, laughing softly. "I don't suppose you have something I can borrow?" 

"Something... clean. Right," Harvey mused, glancing around the disaster that surrounded them. "One sec!" 

Jim smiled, watching Harvey wander around his room, enjoying the full view of his naked body as he searched. Especially his butt, Jim decided, that was definitely a very nice part. Now that there was light, he found himself looking around the room a bit more. As distracting as Harvey's butt was, he was curious about where his boyfriend stayed. 

There wasn't much to see. Bed, dresser, bedside table, and of course, the mess. It didn't feel particularly personal. The books on the floor were only schoolbooks and there weren't any posters or other décor except for a single photograph thumb tacked to the wall by the bed. 

It was a picture of Harvey and his mother, Jim saw as he peered closer, the pair snuggled up together on a sofa. Harvey couldn't have been more than eight, his hair long even at that age and smiling through a missing tooth. His mother was wrapped around him, her chin resting on top of his head and grinning proudly. They look so /much/ alike, Jim thought, smiling at what must have been a happy memory. 

His mother looked so different all those years ago; so much more radiant and her hair was a mane of bright red curls that mirrored Harvey's scarlet locks. It had to be before she got sick, Jim thought with a hint of sadness. 

"Here." 

Jim looked back at Harvey, staring down a light grey hoodie being thrust at him. "Oh! Thanks!" 

"It'll be a little big on ya', but it's about the only thing I can guarantee is clean," Harvey said with a sheepish grin. 

Jim pulled it over his head and laughed. It practically engulfed him, his hands barely making it out of the ends of the sleeves. But it was warm and smelled like Harvey's laundry detergent, so he accepted it happily. "Thank you." 

Harvey sat down on the bed next to him, fingers moving through Jim's hair and pulling him into a kiss. "I promise I will wash your shirt." 

"Mighty thoughtful of you," Jim teased. 

"Hey, I figure it's the least I can do. I was the one who put it in the line of fire and all." 

"It's not a big deal, really! Besides." Jim wrapped himself up in Harvey's arms, cuddling close. "Totally worth it." 

Harvey smiled happily, kissing Jim's brow. "Damn right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyyy, date tiiiiime! So much smutty goodness! I originally posted this as three parts, but meh, I decided to squish them all together into one big chapter over here. I hope it still reads well and OMG IT'S SO LONG AND I'M NOT SORRY BECAUSE I LOVED WRITING IT AHHHHH. I regret nothing. Enjoy! <3


	26. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey wakes up to something very unpleasant.

It was Monday morning and Harvey Bullock was having trouble dragging himself out of bed. He had been having the most lovely dream. He wanted so desperately to hold onto the happy feeling, trying to will himself to stay asleep a little longer. He had been dreaming about Jim. He could recall glimpses of his smiling face, his bright eyes, the way he moaned so sweetly when Harvey touched him, how warm his naked body felt pressed against his… 

Yes, it was _that_ kind of dream. 

Damn it. 

Harvey grumbled, all the more irritated now that he was awake and the sensual images were now lost to him. He managed to turn off his alarm and sit up, rubbing at his eyes and sighing. He smirked to himself, already making up his mind that he and Jim were certain to be late for their first class today. He even had a perfectly corny line all set up to tell him, that he wanted Jim to help him make his dreams come true. 

Harvey smirked, his mood still sleepy but improving, lumbering to his feet. Time to get moving. 

He headed to his mother’s bedroom and immediately sensed it seemed different. The happy fuzz from his pleasant dreaming evaporated quickly. The room felt empty, as if someone had come in the middle of the night and stolen something away. He glanced around the familiar shadows with a frown, an odd foreboding quickly putting down a security deposit on his gut and moving right in. 

He could see his mother’s sleeping form, the small outline of her head peeking out from the cocoon of blankets she was always swaddled in. 

Something was amiss; something was… _wrong_. 

He crossed the room quickly, flicking on her bedside lamp and cautiously sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. She was facing the opposite way from him, and Harvey didn’t want to startle her. Everything was fine, it was perfectly fine. 

It was nothing, this feeling. Nothing at all. So what, it was already picking out curtains with no signs of leaving and burrowing deep down into his soul and screaming at him. It was only a stupid feeling. Everything was fine! 

Right? 

“Ma,” he murmured softly, reaching out and gently nudging her shoulder. 

Nothing. She didn’t move. She didn’t respond. 

“Ma,” he said, his voice louder. The medicine, he told himself in a panic. Sometimes it made her sleep so deeply. He nudged her again, slipping his hand under the blankets and giving her a push. 

Still nothing. 

“Ma!” Harvey suddenly screamed, giving her tiny body a rough shake. Oh, God. When did she get so small, why did she feel like she was going to shatter into a thousand little pieces, why was she so cold. 

Why was she not breathing. 

Why were her eyes not opening. 

“Wake up, please, wake up, wake up!” Panic grabbed a hold of Harvey’s heart, crushing it until only erratic pulses of despair could escape. Everything seemed to be happening so slowly, and each second was a horrible eternity that only added to the awful weight engulfing his chest. 

She still wasn’t breathing. 

This couldn’t be happening. 

Why was she so cold. 

CPR. 911. Scream for help. He had run over scenarios like this hundreds of time in his mind, trying to steel himself to be ready for the worst so he could swiftly take action when such a horror came knocking at his door. 

But now that it had arrived, he couldn’t even bare to turn the knob. He moaned woefully, clutching his mother’s body to his chest with tears racing down his cheeks in hot streams. He pulled her out from the nest of blankets, frantically patting at her chest, her arms, her face. Wake up. Fuck, fuck, fuck, what was he going to do. Why wouldn’t she wake up. She couldn’t be gone, no, not like this. 

He had been trying so hard to take care of her. He made sure she always took her medicine, went to every doctor’s appointment. He had taught himself to cook so he could give her good meals and helped her walk when she was weak and did everything he could to make every day a good day. He had given so much, worked so fucking hard. This could not be the end, not after _everything_ he had done. 

It wasn’t fair! She had never done anything to deserve this, she had always been such a good mother and a loving person. It wasn’t fucking fair, fuck it all, it wasn’t fair! 

“Ma, please,” he sobbed miserably, giving her frail frame another rough jolt. He was praying to every God he could think of to help him. He even made up a few. Please. Someone. Anyone. Something. Help. 

There. 

Movement. 

He felt her move. He petted her thinning hair, pleading quietly, “Ma? Please be okay. Tell me you’re okay.” 

Only a low wheeze rumbled past her lips in response, followed by a hoarse croak that made Harvey’s soul shudder. She was alive. She was alive. 

“Ma, please wake up, please wake…” He was begging, his voice cracking as a sob stole away his words. 

She was alive; but for how much longer? 

Phone. Phone. Got to find the phone. Call for help. Help would come. 

Would it be here soon enough?


	27. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim is absolutely beside himself with worry when Harvey doesn’t show up for school, and sets off to find out what happened.

Jim Gordon was worried. 

He hadn’t seen Harvey all day and the nastiest feeling was settling in his stomach. He couldn’t shake the bothersome little voice in the back of his brain whispering to him that some disaster had occurred. Despite his lack of punctuality, Jim knew how important this year was to Harvey. Sure, he might be a little late on occasion, but his devoted boyfriend always showed up for school eventually. 

Every time a class ended, Jim raced out into the hall, hoping to find that smiling face waiting for him, ready to escort him to the next period. Each time, he was disappointed and grew more concerned as the hours rolled by. 

All day he looked for him, but Harvey never showed. 

When school was over, Jim didn’t head straight home. He waited out front, thinking maybe Harvey would still magically appear. He tugged at the sleeves of the hoodie he had on, fidgeting and pulling at a loose thread. It was the hoodie Harvey had given him; well, more accurately, Harvey had lent it to him and Jim had simply refused to give it back. 

Right now, it was as close to his boyfriend as he could get, pressing his nose against the fabric of the cuff. He could make out a faint scent, cigarettes and something a little musty. It wasn’t quite Harvey’s familiar smell, but it was all he had for comfort. Where could Harvey be? 

Maybe Harvey had overslept, maybe he had massively horrible diarrhea, maybe he had been abducted temporarily by aliens? Impossible ideas began to eat at Jim’s brain, leaving him wrecked and miserable. 

He quickly walked around campus to check all of Harvey's usual hiding spots and again, found no sign of him. The worry was evolving from a small nag into a deep concern. They had just seen each other last night at Harvey’s job and he had told Jim how much he couldn’t wait to see him at school tomorrow. Which was today. But there was no Harvey. 

Jim chewed on his lip as he returned to the front of the school, trying to decide what to do. 

His feet moved before his mind could process all of his thoughts, taking him down the sidewalk towards Harvey’s apartment. He knew that an unexpected visit might irritate his dear boyfriend, but Jim had to make sure he was all right. This wasn’t like Harvey, not at all. 

Besides, Jim told himself. Harvey’s wrath was a small price to pay to know that he was okay. And oh, his mother. The thought was fleeting, frowning as his brain suddenly refused to let it go. Harvey’s mother was certainly all right, wasn’t she? Sure, she was very sick, but Harvey took such good care of her. 

Did… Did something happen? 

What had been a steady walk turned into an all out sprint, racing the rest of the way until he was standing in front of Harvey’s door. He was panting, banging loudly on the door. 

No one answered. 

He knocked again, louder this time. 

He had worried his lower lip nearly raw, bouncing nervously on his heels. He was sick with worry and he was completely at a loss as to what he should do now. No one was answering the door, and he didn’t know of any other way to get in contact with Harvey. He thought about stopping by the market where Harvey worked, maybe Mrs. O'Connell knew something? 

Just as he was turning to leave, one of the other apartment doors opened and a small elderly woman poked her head out. 

Jim recognized her as the kind neighbor that had agreed to check in on Harvey’s mother for their date night. Oh! Yes! Maybe she knew what happened! 

“Ah, so, you’re the one making all that racket?” she asked, frowning at Jim. 

“Yes ma'am,” Jim replied apologetically. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but… can you tell me where the Bullocks are? Harvey wasn’t at school and I’m getting pretty worried.” 

The woman’s annoyed face gave way to anguish, sighing sadly. “Oh, dear me. I’m so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this. An ambulance came this morning for Mrs. Bullock. She… She is not doing very well. They took her to Gotham General, Harvey went with her-” 

“Thank you!” That’s all Jim needed to hear. He took off again towards the elevator, but it was taking too long. He bolted towards the stairs instead of waiting, racing down every step. Gotham General was pretty far, all the way across town from here; a bus. He took could a bus and there was a stop right by the hospital. 

His stomach began to lurch as he hurried down the block to catch it, trying his best not to panic. The dread he was feeling now reminded him of the day he found out his father had been in an accident. Hoping and hoping that everything was all right, but an underlying doom crawling up the back of his neck telling him that it wasn’t. 

God, Harvey. Poor Harvey! 

His heart ached for his boyfriend, wishing like hell he had somehow found out sooner. Was Harvey okay? He had to be losing his damn mind. Most likely he had been alone all day at the hospital. His mother was his whole world, his life was devoted to taking care of her. Jim didn’t want to imagine what would happen if Harvey lost her. 

He knew how close they were; the friendship between them reminded him of what he’d had with his father. But Jim had had his mother to lean on when his father died; Harvey didn’t have anyone else. He didn’t have any siblings and the relationship with his father was strained. 

Harvey never talked about his father much, saw him occasion, but he was never around for very long. Jim didn’t ask for any more information that that, always having sensed it was a particularly sensitive issue. If anything was to happen to Harvey’s mother, he’d be all alone. 

Well, Jim thought, not _entirely_ alone. Jim knew he would try to be there for Harvey as much as he could, but it wasn’t quite the same, was it? 

Jim made up his mind that no matter what happened, he would do everything he could for Harvey. That boy meant so much to him, he made him happy, he made him forget all the pain, and he loved every second they spent together. In fact, he realized, he loved- 

The bus came to a screeching halt in front of him, his thoughts interrupted. He climbed aboard, grabbing a seat, and finding his face turning hot. 

He loved Harvey… Didn’t he? 

The idea had entered his mind so easily. It felt so natural, so obvious. As the bus rumbled off down the street, he pressed his forehead out the window and hoped the cold sensation of the glass would cool him down. 

Even as worried as he was, there was a delightful warmth slowly crawling into his chest. This wasn’t the right time for this sort of revelation to happen, but there it was all the same. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he let it wash over him. He was in love with Harvey; it had barely been a month, but he knew he was completely and deeply in love with him. 

But did Harvey feel the same? 

Fuck, that wasn’t important now. He had to make sure Harvey and his mother were all right. He would deal with these pesky feelings later. 

When the bus came to a stop by the hospital, Jim hurried off and started running towards the front entrance. His legs were burning, his chest stung, but he didn’t stop. He had to get to Harvey, he had to find him. He had to make sure he was okay. 

The doors of the hospital loomed before him, but something else caught his eye. There was a large alley in between the hospital and the neighboring buildings. He saw a small flash of red as he passed by, sneakers squeaking as he backpedaled and came to a stop. He stared down a young man leaning against the alley wall. He had a black hoodie on, the hood drawn up around his face. His head was down, a foot kicked back on the wall, and a puff of smoke billowing out from the cigarette resting between his lips. 

If it hadn’t been for the bright red hair sticking out from the edge of the guy’s hoodie, Jim may have never noticed him. He started down the alley, gasping. His heart immediately jumped up into his throat and held on tight. 

Harvey! 

Jim ran as hard as he could, ignoring all the aches in his body and throwing himself at Harvey, wrapping his arms around his middle. He couldn’t even speak, burying his face into Harvey’s chest and squeezing tight. 

Harvey was startled, immediately resisting until he realized who it was. He had been off in his own miserable little world, never even noticing that there was anyone else approaching until he had been tackled. He flicked his cigarette away, winding his arms around his shoulders. He couldn’t believe Jim was actually _here_. “Jim… how did you…” 

Jim shook his head desperately, refusing to loosen his grip for a moment. He was afraid to speak, afraid of what he might say. He held Harvey like his life depended on it, hoping his embrace explained everything he couldn’t find the words for. He had been so worried about him, he had missed him so much. 

Harvey held Jim close, amazed and humbled by the emotional embrace. He had no idea how Jim knew he would be here, still shocked that his sweet boyfriend had come all this way to find him. He felt a small pang of guilt; in all of the chaos since this morning, he had forgotten about Jim. 

He had been far too concerned with his mother’s welfare, making sure she was okay and staying right by her side for as long as they would let him. Shit, the only reason he was out here now was because the staff kicked him out while they prepared her for more tests. 

Harvey should have known that Jim would obviously be a little freaked when he didn’t show up for class, but fuck. He hadn’t even thought about any of it until just now. 

“I’m sorry,” Harvey began brokenly. 

“Don’t,” Jim insisted. He put just enough space between them so he could lift up his head to look Harvey right in the eye. He could tell that Harvey had been crying, gently touching his cheek. “Don’t apologize, it’s fine. Are you okay? Your mom. God, your mom. Is _she_ okay?” 

Harvey pressed his lips together in a thin line, managing a small nod. “I’m fine. And she’s okay. I mean… She’s being treated for some really bad infection,” he said sadly. “They think it’s pneumonia or something. They got her hooked up to all of this shit, they’re…” He trailed off, tears threatening to invade again. “They’re doing what they can.” 

“Good,” Jim nodded, visibly relieved. He had been fearing the absolute worst. “I mean, that she’s… You know, they’re helping her. I couldn’t stop thinking… I’m glad she’s all right. Or going to be all right. I mean, of course she is.” 

“I know,” Harvey nodded. He understood that Jim’s mind must have raced to the worst possible conclusion, touched that Jim had been so worried. He forced a weak smile, asking softly, “How the hell did you know I was here?” 

“Your neighbor,” Jim explained. “You weren’t at school and I started getting worried, like really fucking worried. I looked everywhere for you and I couldn’t find you, so, I went by your place. About broke down the damn door and your nice neighbor told me what happened.” 

“And you came all this fucking way?” Harvey could hardly believe it. He couldn’t think of anyone else on the planet that cared about him so much, that would have ever done anything like this for him. 

“It’s not that far,” Jim said, smiling gently. When he saw the way Harvey’s face lit up, he knew instantly he would have gone to the end of the world and back for him. Even then it wouldn’t have been too far, not for Harvey. 

Harvey didn’t know what to say, his smile curling his lips with more feeling now. He bowed his head, pressing his face into Jim’s shoulder. What the fuck did he ever do to deserve this sweet boy. 

The entire day had been a whirlwind of doctors and nurses and tests and treatments and more tests and it was crashing down on him like a tidal wave, sweeping him away into a miserable sludge he couldn’t get out of. Before he knew it, he was crying again. Fuck. 

Jim felt Harvey’s body starting to shake with small sobs, sliding his fingers up under the hood and into hair. He cradled him sweetly, soothing quietly, “It’s okay, Harvey. I’m right here.”


	28. Homework

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey have a little chat, and Jim makes up his mind to tell Harvey something very important soon.

Harvey Bullock finally managed to dry his eyes and puffed his way through several more cigarettes as he regained his composure. He kept Jim close, either nestled at his side or his arm around him, refusing to let him stray too far. He didn’t know how to tell Jim what this meant to him, hoping his touch was enough to express how touched he was. 

His head was a mess of shattered pieces from falling apart this morning. Everything was still broken, cluttered with fear and anguish for his mother. The sight of her in a hospital bed was sure to haunt him, he felt sure. The sound of her pulse beeping through the little machines had been fucking maddening, and the hushed little whispers of the staff hadn’t been much better. He had been totally and utterly wrecked, helpless and lost. 

But Jim was here now, Jim had come. Slowly, with Jim right beside him, Harvey was starting to pull himself back together. All the pieces weren’t quite back in place yet, but he was getting there. He didn’t understand what this sweet boy saw in him, but Harvey was so grateful for him. He was so much more than he deserved. 

“I’m sorry,” Harvey mumbled through another cigarette as he lit it up. “About, you know, snotting all over you.” 

Jim shrugged. He hadn’t minded a bit, saying carefully, “It’s no big deal.” He wanted to tell Harvey that he didn’t think any less of him for being so emotional, but he knew his boyfriend’s ego was a tad sensitive and decided against discussing what happened any further. In a weird way, it made him love Harvey even more to have seen him so vulnerable. 

Love. God, that damn word again. He ignored how just thinking about it made him blush, smiling dumbly up at Harvey. Oh, he had it so bad for him. He tried to readjust the route his thoughts were dragging him down, saying quickly, “You, uh, gonna be in class tomorrow? I was just thinking I could pick up your homework and stuff for you? Bring it by here tomorrow so you don’t get too far behind?” 

Harvey smirked, taking a long drag. “Yeah? You’d do that for me?” 

“I’d do anything for you,” Jim replied eagerly. 

“Anything?” Harvey teased, delighted when the flush in Jim’s face bled into his ears. 

“Within reason,” Jim clarified, happy to see a glimmer of Harvey’s familiar snark shining through the gloom. 

“Bah! You’re no fun!” There; a smile. A real, bright smile lit up Harvey’s face. 

Jim’s knees were wobbly at the sight, grateful for Harvey’s arm keeping him upright. It was amazing how his heart felt so light and yet so full all at once. Oh, this wasn’t the right time to tell Harvey how he felt. His mother was upstairs in a room, still sick, maybe even dying. He hated to think that way, but he knew all too well how easily a loved one could be taken away. 

His expression must have betrayed his sad thoughts, Harvey suddenly prompted to ask, “What’s up?” 

“Oh!” Jim blinked. “I-it’s nothing.” 

Harvey did not look convinced, tending to his cigarette as he debated whether or not he would press it. He opted not to, asking instead, “So. Maybe tomorrow I’ll meet you at my apartment? Save you the trouble of comin’ all the way down here?” 

“Harvey, it’s just a quick bus ride,” Jim assured him. “It’s really not that far.” 

“Well,” Harvey began to counter, “I’m staying here tonight with Ma. By tomorrow, I’ll need to get a shower, some fresh threads. All my shit is at my place, you know.” 

“And you’re okay being away from your mom for that long?” Jim asked, quirking a dubious eyebrow. 

“It’s not that gonna take all fuckin’ day,” Harvey protested. “You’re just droppin’ off my homework.” 

“I guess?” Jim shrugged. 

“Ohhh, wait, I see. You gettin’ some ideas about having me all alone in my apartment?” Harvey grinned slyly, teasing, “Wanna tie me to the bed and have your way with me for hours and hours on end? Or, ohhh. You want me to tie _you_ up?” 

Jim groaned loudly. “You’re insane.” 

“Yeah, but now you’re thinking about it,” Harvey laughed. 

Jim refused to acknowledge that accusation, quickly diffusing the potent images of Harvey tying his wrists to his headboard and worshipping his naked body with that wicked mouth of his. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay with leaving her, that’s all.” 

“Yeah,” Harvey said with a short nod. “And really, no bullshit, I appreciate it. But it’ll be all right just for a little while.” 

“Okay,” Jim agreed. “Tomorrow at your place after school.” 

“You got it.” 

Jim fidgeted, saying softly, “I gotta go soon. My mom is gonna be home soon and I didn’t tell her-” 

“It’s okay,” Harvey sighed, pressing a quick kiss into Jim’s hair. “I understand.” 

Jim lifted up his head to catch Harvey’s mouth in a sweet kiss. He hummed happily as Harvey’s arms wound around his waist. Maybe tomorrow, maybe then he could tell him… 

“Thank you,” Harvey murmured softly. “For being here. It… it really means a lot.” 

Jim’s heart fluttered, kissing him once more before forcing himself to pull away. He knew if he didn’t stop himself, he’d never want to leave. “Tomorrow,” he promised. 

“Tomorrow,” Harvey nodded. 

Jim began to head back out of the alley, a little bounce in his step. He had just made it to the sidewalk when he heard Harvey calling for him. 

“Hey, Jim!” 

“What?” 

“You know… if you really want to…” Harvey hesitated, smiling shyly. 

Jim paused, tilting his head. “What is it, Harvey?” 

Harvey’s smile grew wicked, taunting, “I’d be more than happy to tie you up.” 

“Oh, my God,” Jim moaned. 

“Yeah, you’d be saying a lot of that.” 

“You’re disgusting! Bye!” Jim called out, marching out onto the sidewalk and refusing to look back. Harvey’s cackling echoed in his ears as he headed to the bus stop, chucking to himself. He couldn’t resist the smile coming over him, glad that he was leaving Harvey in such a happy, albeit perverted, state of mind. 

Well, he reasoned with a small smirk, happy and perverted was perfectly normal for Harvey. 

As he climbed back aboard the bus to head home, he prayed for Harvey and his mother. He had never been very religious, but he thought that now was an appropriate time as any. He prayed for health, for Harvey’s mom to keep getting better, and for strength, for Harvey to help him get through this. He hoped they both made it through the night, a little nervous about seeing his boyfriend tomorrow after school. 

He knew the worst was certainly possible, but he had to hope for the best. He had to hope when he saw Harvey again that everything would still be okay. 

After all, tomorrow, he wanted to tell Harvey that he loved him.


	29. Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey had an unexpected visitor show up at the hospital, and Jim finally tells Harvey how he feels.

Harvey Bullock was drunk. He hadn’t meant to get this tipsy so quickly, but he was so fucking angry. He hadn’t been able to sleep at all, tossing and turning all night in the chair in his mother’s hospital room. He couldn’t get comfortable, too tall for the tiny chair, and his thoughts running too hot to relax enough for sleep to come. 

His mother had been doing so well. She had woken up that evening, many of the invasive tubes had been removed and she was talking, even laughing. The infection was under control and the doctors expected her to recover soon. Harvey was so happy. Having seen Jim earlier that afternoon had definitely lifted his spirits, but seeing his mother’s bright and smiling face sent him over the damn moon. 

Everything was going great, he lamented as he stumbled through his apartment in search of a lighter; until _he_ showed up. 

Harvey gave up on finding his lighter, no telling where he had lost it in his drunken stupor, lighting a cigarette off the stove. He leaned against the counter to steady himself, inhaling slowly and trying to get his head right. 

He didn’t know who could have called him, having been so certain that the hospital didn’t have anyone else listed for an emergency contact or next of kin for his mother other than himself. But somehow, some fuckin’ how, _he_ was there. 

His father. 

They hadn’t seen each other in almost a year, and it had not been a pleasant reunion then. Neither was this. 

It didn’t used to be so bitter, Harvey thought angrily. When his father was still visiting regularly, it was always a pleasant occasion. They would go fishing, watch movies together, hang out, talk about life. They had been happy, they were a family. But as Harvey’s mother got sicker, he came around less and less. Harvey wouldn’t see him for months at a time and the resentment began to fester. 

Almost a _year_ had passed by since his last visit and there he was, standing at the doorway of his mother’s hospital room and daring to claim he gave a shit, that he was worried about them. 

Harvey had been furious. He lost his temper, screamed at him until the hospital staff was threatening to call security. He was still angry now, trying to drown his rage in every spare drop of alcohol in the apartment he could find. 

How fucking dare he, Harvey had thought. To suddenly show up after all of this time and say he cared, to say he wanted to help? Where was he two months ago when Harvey didn’t have enough money to buy groceries and had to get an advance on his paycheck from Mrs. O'Connell so they could eat? Where was he when Harvey almost broke his arm unloading at the dock, but he had to keep working because they needed the money and couldn’t risk losing his job? 

…Where was he all the nights Harvey cried himself to sleep, trying to stay as quiet as he could, so his mother wouldn’t hear him. 

Harvey didn’t want to hear a fucking word he had to say, blowing up and storming out of the hospital. He stayed gone for several hours, walking in circles around the block, returning late in the night to find his mother sleeping and no sign of his father. That’s when he had tried to get some rest with such little success, waking up grumpy and sore. 

His mother tried to talk to him that morning, tried to tell him to give his father another chance, but Harvey wasn’t interested in hearing any of that from her. He couldn’t believe she was taking his side, and refused to discuss it further. He hung out until lunch time, kissing her farewell, and heading back to the apartment. He wanted some space, some time to think… and something to fucking drink. 

He had already run out of beer, and tapped into a hidden stash of whiskey he kept for an emergency such as this. He poured himself a small glass, taking a sip and glancing at the kitchen clock, cursing softly. 

Jim was going to be here any minute. 

He heard an urgent knock at the door, snorting. 

Or by any minute, he meant Jim could show up /right now/. 

Harvey ran his fingers through his hair, finishing off his cigarette. He chugged back the whiskey and began stumbling over to let Jim in. He swung the door open, smiling wide. Damn, just the sight of him made Harvey’s heart skip a few beats. 

Jim was beaming, still wearing Harvey’s hoodie, offering out an armful of folders and a shy grin. “Hey!” 

“Hi,” Harvey chirped, accepting the papers and ushering Jim inside. All the bad shit was starting to fade into the background, laughing at the bundle of folders Jim had neatly assembled and individually labeled. “Homework?” 

“Yeah!” Jim nodded. “I mean, that is why I came over, right? I went to all your teachers and…” He gasped, watching Harvey fling the folders onto the floor. “Harvey! What are you doing?” 

“Catching up on the important shit,” Harvey said as he shut the door, smiling wickedly. He pushed Jim up against the wall, kissing along his neck and sighing. “Fuck, I missed you.” 

“Harvey!” Jim exclaimed, wiggling underneath the weight of Harvey’s body. Those heated kisses were making him blush and his blood simmer, sighing as he let himself relax and run his fingers through Harvey’s hair. He certainly hadn’t expected to be pounced on as soon as he stepped through the door, but Harvey was impossible to resist. 

Harvey ran his hands down Jim’s hips, up under his shirt and all over his stomach and chest. He let himself get caught up in the grind of their bodies, trying to forget everything else. His dad didn’t matter, even the hospital and his mom were far away. 

All he wanted was Jim. 

“Oh, _Harvey_ ,” Jim sighed softly, tilting his head to catch his mouth in a passionate kiss. He recoiled slightly, the taste of whisky unexpected, gasping, “You’ve been… are you…” He blinked, finally noticing the glassy look in his eyes. “Are you drunk?” 

“Mmm,” Harvey hummed. “Little bit.” 

“It’s like three in the afternoon!” Jim hissed. 

“Ohhhh,” Harvey gasped. “I didn’t realize you were such an expert on appropriate drinkin’ times!” He slid a hand to Jim’s pants, toying with his zipper and trying to behave himself. He didn’t want to be pushy; or at least, any more so than he had been already. 

“I’m not!” Jim protested, biting his lip when he felt Harvey’s fingers messing with his pants. “I just, I had something… there was something I wanted to tell you. And if you’re drunk, it, it almost doesn’t seem like it’s the right time?” 

“Oh?” Harvey was curious. “I ain’t that drunk!” He cleared his throat, trying to look as sober as possible. “What were ya’ gonna tell me?” 

“It’s really important,” Jim said, gently nudging away Harvey’s hands. If Harvey managed to get into his pants, Jim didn’t think he’d ever get the courage to say it. He couldn’t think clearly when Harvey was touching him. He took a deep breath. “You know that, well, since we met, that you’d be my first…” 

Harvey’s eyes widened, his pulse immediately picking up. Oh, there was only one thing that came to mind; only one thing that Harvey could think about as Jim started to speak. Sex! He had to be talking about doin’ it, right? 

He had been so patient, waiting for Jim to be ready. This was it! He was gonna tell him he wanted to do it. 

Jim gently touched Harvey’s cheek, trying not to become too emotional. He still wasn’t sure if this was the perfect time, especially since Harvey had been drinking, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He had to tell him how he felt. “Harvey… I…” 

Harvey heard Jim’s hesitation, shaking his head. “Jimmy, it’s okay. I know what you’re tryin’ to say.” 

“You do?” Jim’s face lit up. Could it be? Could Harvey really- 

“If you want to, I’m totally fucking down,” Harvey said gently. 

Wait. Want to what. Jim frowned, trying to follow along with what Harvey was saying. 

“I’m super fucking, you know, honored. I really thought you’d want to wait longer! But, hey, I’m good to go if you are. I’ve got condoms, lube, all that shit-” 

“Harvey,” Jim gasped, mortified. Oh, no. Harvey thought he was talking about, oh, that! Oh, shit! Shit! 

“I’ll make it so good for you,” Harvey promised, kissing him now, hands sliding back to Jim’s pants. 

Jim swatted furiously at Harvey’s grip, exasperated as he tried to explain, “Harvey! That’s not it! I mean, I’m just, that’s-” 

“Jim, it’s okay,” Harvey soothed. “I can totally do this. I ain’t had _that_ much to drink.” 

“No! I’m trying to tell you-” 

“We’ll take our time! Ain’t no sense rushing it. Shit, do you want a drink? I mean, I know you usually don’t, but this is a special-” 

“Harvey!” Jim was ready to strangle him. “Listen to me!” 

Harvey flinched, surprised at how Jim was raising his voice. “What?” 

“I don’t want to, ugh, I don’t want to _do it_!” Jim groaned. “I’m trying to tell you that I love you, you fucking idiot!” 

Harvey froze. He felt sick. “You… what?” 

Jim cradled Harvey’s face, searching his shocked expression and saying desperately, “Harvey. I love you.” 

Harvey gulped, lost somewhere between complete disbelief and panic. Jim said he loved him. No one, except maybe his fucking ma’, had ever told him that. He couldn’t be fucking serious, could he? 

Jim was looking at him with such reverence, such… _love_. 

Well, fuck. 

“Harvey?” Jim questioned nervously, tracing his thumbs over Harvey’s cheekbones. “Aren’t you… don’t you have anything to say…?” 

Harvey cringed. He didn’t know what to say, he had no idea how he felt. Sex, that he could handle. That he knew how to do. But love? He was starting to panic, and the first thing popping into his head came tumbling out of his mouth. “Uhm. Thank you?” 

It was everything Jim could do not to laugh; or maybe cry. That was… that was not the response he had been hoping to hear.


	30. Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite how he reacted to the first one, Jim has another big confession for Harvey.

Jim Gordon had never been a very violent person, but the only thought occupying his mind right then was punching Harvey right in his pretty mouth. He had finally found the courage to tell his boyfriend how he felt, to say that he loved him; and Harvey had thanked him? _Thank you_? What the hell sort of response was that! 

He was instantly miserable and hurt, the rejection was tearing him apart. He felt like a complete fool, regretting his decision so much. It was too soon, it was all a mistake. He pressed his hands against Harvey's chest, pushing him away. 

All Jim wanted to do was leave, mumbling as he stepped towards the door, "Well. You've got your homework, I mean, once you pick it up from the floor. It's all your assignments for the rest of the week. If you have to stay out longer, I'll bring you the rest later. I, I hope your mom feels better and-" 

"Whoa, whoa!" Harvey protested, grabbing Jim's arm. "Where are you going?" 

"Home!" Jim snapped, trying to pull away. "You just... I..." 

"Don't go," Harvey pleaded, gently tugging Jim back. "Look, I didn't know what else to fuckin' say!" 

Jim's face was on fire. He still had an immense desire to hit Harvey, snapping again, "And that's what you came up with? After I just told you that I love you! 'Thank you'? Like, I just said that your hair looks nice or, or, or I passed you the salt?" 

"What did you want me to say?" Harvey groaned. 

"Maybe say it back!" 

"I don't know if I can!" Harvey cried, frustrated. He managed to get a hold of Jim's hand, squeezing it tight. "I care about you, Jim, like a total fuck ton. I do. More than I ever have about anyone else!" 

Jim's face softened, halting his attempted retreat. 

"I'm sorry I can't say it," Harvey sighed. "I'm just... I don't fucking know. I'm still kind of drunk, I've got all this shit with my mom-" _My piece of shit father showed up last night._ "-and this is so fucking huge. I'm just... I'm just fucking blown away someone like you could actually love a bum like me." 

Jim pressed back into Harvey's arms, kissing him softly. He could see the conflict battling across Harvey's face, wishing he could quiet all that discord. He kissed him again, reassuring him, "You're not a bum, Harv. You're sweet, and you're funny, and you're so damn smart. Smarter than you realize, and you're so good to me. And the way you care about your mom, the way you've been so patient with me. That's why I love you... don't you see?" 

Harvey frowned, confused. Definitely too drunk for this deep shit. 

"You're perfect," Jim said quietly, smiling. "And... you don't have to say it. I know it's super fast, and I'm probably crazy, but it's just how I feel. I've been wanting to tell you so fucking badly, but I was scared; scared, well, pretty much that you'd just turn me down." 

"Jim," Harvey said, desperately trying to sober up so he could sort out his jumbled thoughts. "I don't know... I don't know how the fuck I feel, okay? But when you started to walk out? That shit hurt. Thinking I might lose you fucking hurts." 

"You're not gonna lose me," Jim promised. It wasn't a confession of undying love he had been hoping for, but it was _something_. He sighed, laughing as he admitted, "You just, well, you really piss me off sometimes." 

"I know," Harvey grumbled softly, nuzzling his face into Jim's hair. He tilted Jim's head up towards him, kissing him deeply. He didn't know how to say everything he was feeling. His head was swimming in an ocean of twisted thoughts, trying to cling to anything to stay afloat. The only thing that made sense, that made him feel safe, was Jim. 

Harvey was kissing him hard, desperate to hold onto that feeling. His hands crawled over Jim's hips and sides, trying to pull him impossibly closer. Every gasp and moan leaking out from Jim's lips was better than any porn Harvey had ever jerked off to, loving how easily he could get him riled up. 

Jim was melting under Harvey's kisses, grateful for his strong embrace to keep him on his feet. His shoes didn't stay connected to the floor for too long, Harvey sweeping him up into his arms and stumbling towards his bedroom. He felt Harvey sway a few times, grateful when he managed to get them to the bed without falling. 

Everything was a tangle of hands, Jim desperate to get his shirt off, his pants. Harvey was pulling off his own clothes just as fast, eagerly trying to keep their lips connected. 

Jim coiled around Harvey, pulling him close, humming happily as their bodies pressed together. He still had his underwear on, groaning as Harvey started rubbing his crotch through the fabric. Harvey's fingers ran along his length, focusing on the head of his cock, teasing lightly. 

"Harvey, please," Jim gasped. 

"Please what?" Harvey asked softly. 

"Please, _touch me_ ," Jim begged. 

Harvey slipped his hand down the front of Jim's underwear, relishing in the heat radiating from his skin. He took hold of him, watching Jim's head flop helplessly back against the pillows as he began to stroke him. 

Jim grabbed onto Harvey's hips, whining as he thrust up into his palm. 

Harvey was pressing against him, his own erection digging in against Jim's thigh. He was a little sloppy, both the drink and Jim's moaning making his head spin. He began rubbing his cock down between Jim's legs, biting his lip as he imagined slipping inside of him, fucking him, _loving_ him... 

Shit. 

Jim was pulling down his underwear, kicking them off frantically. Harvey's were gone next, both completely naked and staying close. Harvey didn't take Jim back in hand yet, balancing himself on his hands and staring down between them where their cocks were rubbing together. 

Jim watched, choking back a moan when he felt the head of Harvey's cock dipping down and brushing against his ass with the faintest hint of pressure. 

Harvey was breathless, his eyes wide and tainted with lust, gnawing anxiously at his lower lip. Was it wrong to ask if he wanted to, was it- 

"Harvey. Do you think... Do you want to?" Jim asked, his brows furrowed and beaded with sweat. 

"Do you?" Harvey countered. "I told you we ain't got to... not until you're ready." 

"I want to," Jim said quickly. "I'm... I'm ready." 

Jim's heart was fluttering, smiling brightly. He wanted this; he knew he was in love with Harvey and he wanted to share this with him. He couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. He wanted his first time to be with the boy he loved more than anything else in the whole wide world. 

Harvey was grinning. All of the anguish and frustration he had felt earlier was washed away by passionate waves of bliss. He couldn't believe it. He and Jim were finally gonna do it. He was kissing Jim again, promising him, "I will make it so good for you. We'll take our time, okay?" 

"Okay," Jim replied, nodding shakily. 

Harvey left the bed, rummaging around the top drawer of his dresser. He came back quickly with a condom and a small bottle in his hand that Jim could only assume was lube. He settled beside him on the bed again, kissing him madly. Harvey was sobering up quickly now, excited and on edge with anticipation. 

Jim clung to Harvey's neck, trembling gently. It was finally happening. His skin was abuzz, almost numb, whimpering when he felt Harvey's slick fingers probing at his entrance. They had certainly done this before, but it felt tighter this time, it really hurt, it- 

"Jimmy," Harvey purred. "You've gotta relax, baby." 

"Sorry," Jim mumbled pitifully, taking a deep breath. 

"Don't," Harvey reassured him, his finger sliding in with a bit more ease. "It's okay. Just relax for me. I promise, I'm gonna take care of you." 

Jim groaned softly, rocking slowly against Harvey's hand, trying to wrap his mind around what it was going to feel like when it was his cock there instead. Fuck, it was almost completely overwhelming. A particularly hard twist of Harvey's fingers made his gasp, whimpering, "I love you." 

Harvey's expression was pained, burying his mouth against Jim's neck so he couldn't see his face. He wished he could say it back; the feeling was there, wasn't it? There was _something_ there, something deep and wonderful and fuck it all if Harvey couldn't bring himself to say what he was fucking feeling. 

Maybe he couldn't say it, but he could damn sure show him. 

Harvey pulled his hand away, kissing up Jim's jaw until their lips met again. He tore open the condom and rolled it on without ever breaking their kiss, his heart pounding with excitement as he lubed himself down. He started to guide the head of his cock up between Jim's legs, promising him, "We'll go slow, okay?" 

Jim could only nod, panting heavily. He dug his hands into Harvey's hair, keeping his eyes locked with his. God, he could _feel_ him, right there, seconds away from pressing inside of him. He had wanted this so terribly, and he knew how much he adored Harvey. 

But could Harvey ever feel the same way? He said he cared about Jim, but that wasn't the same as loving him. 

A little seed of doubt immediately planted itself inside the back of his mind, sprouting hesitation that stole his breath away. His eyes were tearing up now, his nerves starting to take over. Fuck, he didn't think... 

"Harvey," Jim whispered, his voice tense. "I don't know if I can do this." 

Harvey immediately stopped, lightly kissing Jim's forehead. He tilted his hips away so his dick wasn't jabbing at Jim's ass, holding back a frustrated groan. He was certain epic songs would be sung about this most horrendous case of blue balls, but he smiled, saying, "Jimmy... if you're not ready, it's okay." 

Jim shook his head. "No, I want to... I'm ready, really... but only if you feel the same." 

Fuck, it felt like a knife stabbing right in Harvey's chest. His shoulders sagged, hating himself even more for not being able to express himself. He sighed, nodding, "Well, this is definitely a first." 

"What is?" Jim questioned, quirking a perplexed brow. 

"Me not gettin' laid on account of _me_ not bein' ready for something," Harvey replied with a crooked smile. 

Jim actually laughed, shaking his head. "I just... I want it to be perfect. And I'm sorry-" 

"Quit that apologizing shit," Harvey warned, but his voice was devoid of any real malice. "You deserve perfect, and I wanna give you that. When I'm ready." _When I'm ready to tell you that I love you, that I think about you all the time, that I wish I could be with you every second of every fucking day..._

Jim nodded, hiding his disappointment and offering a small and shy grin, asking softly, "Do... Do you think we could still... Uhm." 

Harvey peeked down at the persistent erection still throbbing against Jim's stomach, smirking. "How do you want it?" 

"Your fingers," Jim answered without hesitation. 

"Whatever you want, baby," Harvey purred, reaching back down to slip inside Jim. He started fingering him at a leisurely pace, kissing him tenderly. It wasn't as good as bangin', Harvey lamented, but he did enjoy making Jim feel good. He didn't even care about getting himself off, all he was concerned with was pleasing Jim, to somehow make up for disappointing him. 

"Mmmm, more," Jim was moaning, pulling at Harvey's hair with an insistent tug. 

Harvey sucked at Jim's neck, slamming his fingers harder, fucking into him ruthlessly, wishing to God it was his cock inside of him and not his hand. 

Jim was writhing, each thrust wringing a choked sob from his lips. He pulled one of his hands from Harvey's hair to start stroking his cock frantically, trying at first to match the pace of Harvey's fingers, but soon surpassing them. He was begging, pleading, "Oh, fuck, please, don't stop, don't stop, that, right there, please, more!" 

Harvey gave him all he could, the muscles in his forearm aching, encouraging him softly, "Come on, Jimmy. Come for me, you're so fucking hot when you come." 

Jim whined, desperately pressing down onto Harvey's hand, grinding hard. His entire body tensed, his breath catching as that sweet bliss came crashing over him. He cried out as he came, spurting all over his stomach and shaking from the force of his orgasm. He kissed Harvey, whining as he licked his way into his mouth through every last shudder. 

Harvey smiled, his fingers retreating and collapsing next to Jim. He took off the unused condom, wadding it up and setting it on top an empty beer can to clean up later. He held Jim close, not caring one bit about the sticky mess between them, kissing him long and sweet. 

Jim was absolutely floating, enjoying the rush as his pulse started to slow, mumbling contently, "I really do love you..." 

"I know," came Harvey's gentle reply, running a hand over Jim's cheek. 

Jim accepted that response; at least it was better than being told 'thank you', he thought. He nuzzled against Harvey's chin, asking gently, "Do you want me... I mean, don't you want me to get you off?" 

"Nah." Harvey shook his head, smiling. To be honest, he wasn't much in the mood now. All he wanted was to cuddle, maybe smoke a few cigarettes. He threw his arm around Jim, kissing his brow and assuring him, "Trust me. I'm good just like this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALMOST DID IT BWUHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ahem, anyway. I was actually planning for this to be their first time, but it didn't feel right. I have some other ideas to get through first, but it will be coming soon - no pun intended, nyuk nyuk nyuk. Enjoy! <3


	31. Meow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I fail at titles. Harvey and Jim discuss day drinking and homework! And other stuff!

Harvey managed to drag himself out of bed long enough to tidy up, slipping on a pair of sweatpants and sweeping his hair up in a knot. He helped Jim find his underwear and wipe him down, returning to snuggle up next to him and lighting up a cigarette. 

Jim spooned up against Harvey’s side, resting his head on his shoulder and wrinkling up his nose at the smoke. He grinned when Harvey rolled his eyes, but still reached over to push his window open a bit wider to offer him some relief from the strong scent. He traced his fingers along Harvey’s hip, curiosity finally getting the better of him. “So. You wanna tell me what inspired you to get drunk in the middle of the day?” 

Harvey stiffened up at the query, frowning. He nursed his cigarette as he debated whether or not to open up to his dear boyfriend. It only took one look at those big blue eyes gazing up at him for him to sigh, replying softly, “My, uh… My dad showed up at the hospital.” 

“No shit?” Jim blinked. 

“Can’t even remember the last time I saw that bastard,” Harvey snorted. “He just shows up, like everything’s okay, like he’s been here the whole fuckin’ time or somethin’.” He took a deep breath, hating how quickly his temper began to boil again. He waited for his rage to reduce to a simmer, continuing, “I showed my ass a bit, got pissed, left… He was gone when I came back. And now this morning, Ma is all talking to me about trying to give him a chance, we should make up, and blah, blah, blah…” 

Jim’s brow creased with worry, wishing he knew what to say. He knew the relationship between Harvey and his father wasn’t good, offering quietly, “I’m sorry.” 

Harvey shrugged, taking a drag from his cigarette and rolling the filter between his fingers as he exhaled. He glanced down at Jim, surprised when he realized he wasn’t going to say anything else. “What? You ain’t gonna tell me I should make nice with him, too? Kiss his ass, all that?” 

Jim shook his head, laughing, “Unless you actually want me to?” 

“Fuck no!” Harvey stuck out his tongue, grumbling to himself. With more honesty than he usually allowed himself, he sighed bitterly, “I’m just… I really don’t know _what_ the fuck to do.” 

“Well…” Jim hesitated. “I get your mom wants you guys to get along since he’s your dad, and you really don’t like him, but…” He fidgeted, his eyes moving to the hollow of Harvey’s hip. His face was suddenly older, heavy with sadness, saying quietly, “You never know how much time you have left with someone. I guess… That’s all I can tell you, Harv.” 

Harvey brought his arm around Jim’s shoulders, giving him a comforting squeeze. He knew Jim was thinking about his own father. “My dad ain’t nothin’ like yours was, Jimmy,” he said gently. 

Jim nodded, his gaze still fixed at where his fingers were moving along the dip in Harvey’s hipbone. “Apples and oranges,” he said absently. 

“Huh?” 

“Our dads. Like comparing apples and oranges,” Jim clarified. 

Harvey snorted, flicking his cigarette butt out the window with a bitter laugh. “Yeah, if the orange is a raging douche bag.” 

Jim smiled, pressing a kiss against Harvey’s chest. It would have been so easy to stay in that bed forever, but he knew Harvey would need to head back to the hospital soon and Jim would have to go home. A fresh set of worries was taking over, prompting him to awkwardly inquire, “You’re still okay that we didn’t… uhm… you know?” 

“Fuck?” Harvey suggested. 

“Make love,” Jim countered with a grumpy sigh. 

“Yeah, that, too.” Harvey shifted down onto his side, pulling his arm around Jim’s waist and resting their foreheads together. “I gotta ask you, Jim. Did your mom do drugs while she was pregnant with you?” 

Jim was bewildered, stuttering, “N-no! Why?” 

“Drop you on your head when you was a kid?” 

“No! She never dropped me!” 

“Did you eat glue? Were you the glue eatin’ kid in your class?” 

“Harvey,” Jim warned, frustrated at this bizarre line of questioning. 

Harvey chuckled, perfectly content and calm, teasing, “Well, there’s gotta be somethin’ wrong with you ‘cause clearly? You can’t remember for shit. I already told you it’s okay. I’m not in some damn big hurry.” He kissed the tip of Jim’s nose, adding tenderly, “Good things are worth waitin’ for, you know that. And Jim, well, fuck…” 

Harvey refused to let himself get too emotional, pursing his lips as he composed himself to finish quietly, “You’re the best fuckin’ thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

Jim’s heart hopped on a rocket and promptly launched into the back of his throat. He kissed Harvey, sighing happily against his lips. He knew it, Harvey loved him; even if he wasn’t ready to say it. There wasn’t a doubt in Jim’s mind, but still, he would wait to hear it from Harvey himself. 

Harvey was right; good things were worth waiting for. 

The kiss was slow, sweet. Jim was lost in it, his arms lazily curling around Harvey’s shoulders. He hummed contently when he felt Harvey’s hands on his waist, his hips. He grunted when he felt Harvey press close, pulling away with a gasp when he felt something familiar and hard digging into his thigh. He smiled shyly, chuckling, “Harvey…” 

“Sorry,” Harvey laughed softly, kissing Jim’s jaw. Not receiving any earlier satisfaction had brought his desires back on nearly ten fold. He started to reach down inside his pants, asking sweetly, “Just… just keep kissing me. Please?” 

Jim eagerly accepted the request, seizing Harvey’s mouth in another warm kiss. He brought one of his hands down, gently nudging Harvey’s away to grab a hold of his cock and taking over. He grinned, proud of himself for the way it made Harvey moan. 

The kiss started to get hotter, heavier, punctuated by Harvey’s cursing and gasps as Jim continued to stroke him. He took his time, letting them both enjoy it, until Harvey couldn’t hold back any longer. 

“Jimmy,” Harvey hissed, his muscles tensing up, preparing the climax. “God, right there…!” 

Jim sped up his efforts until Harvey was thrusting desperately into his hand, grunting in satisfaction as hot fluid splashed over his fingers. He carried him through the aftershocks, kissing him sweetly. “Good?” 

“Mmmph,” Harvey mumbled. “So damn good.” 

They held each other, kissing slowly, neither wanting to move. Jim mumbled softly, “You know… it’s probably getting late. And you need to see your mom. And you have all that homework to do.” 

“Homework, huh,” Harvey grunted. He smirked, nibbling at Jim’s ear and snickering when it made him squirm. “Hmmm, maybe you could help me brush on some anatomy.” 

“You don’t have an anatomy class,” Jim retorted flatly. 

“Well, I will have you know I’m starting one right now,” Harvey declared, his hands beginning to explore. “And class is in session!”


	32. Welcome Back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey returns to class!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yayyyy, post! Apologies for the delay! Working on Halloween party shenanigans AND trying to outline the Nygmobblepot SL. I may end up posting it as a separate work? Since Jim and Harvey took this one over... XD

"Barbara," Jim was politely protesting, "I said I will think about it?" 

"But that's not a yes," she pouted, batting her long lashes. 

Barbara currently had Jim cornered by his locker, trying to convince him to attend her annual Halloween party. Her parents were out of town for the weekend, and it was very important for Jim to make an appearance. She had been pestering him about it for several days, and Jim had never wished for Harvey to be back so terribly. 

His mother was going to get out of the hospital this week, or so the doctors had promised, and Jim hoped it would be soon. He missed Harvey's company; plus, having him around was an easy way to keep Barbara's advances at bay. Jim knew he needed to be more firm with her, but he hated to be mean. She was just trying to be nice, after all. Right? 

"Let me talk to Harvey," Jim insisted, switching out his books for his next class, "He should be coming back to class in a few days, and I really wouldn't feel right going without him." 

Barbara scowled, somehow still beautiful even though she was clearly agitated. "Or, you know, you could just come /without him/." 

"Without me? Then what kind of fuckin' party would it be?" a familiar voice laughed. 

Barbara and Jim both turned their heads, Barbara's scowl deepening as Jim's face lit up. Harvey Bullock was standing right there, his little smirk firmly in place. 

"Harvey! You're back!" Jim exclaimed, running into his boyfriend's arms and holding him tight. 

"Damn right," Harvey chuckled, kissing Jim sweetly. He made sure to slide his tongue into Jim's mouth, turning up the heat quickly. He made it all as lewd as possible, right up until Jim pulled away, flushed and embarrassed. 

Barbara rolled her eyes, completely disgusted. 

"Oh, Babs," Harvey said nonchalantly, "I forgot you were there." 

"Right," she snapped. 

Jim's face was a lovely shade of red, stammering, "Barbara was just inviting me to her Halloween party this weekend. I didn't think you'd be back in class already!" 

"Things are lookin' up," Harvey said simply, but something in his tone made Jim think otherwise. 

Barbara fidgeted, but forced a sweet smile, cooing, "I do hope I'll see you there. And remember, it's a /costume/ party, so you'd better dress up." She deliberately ignored Harvey, waving happily at Jim as she chirped, "See you later, Jimmy!" 

Jim breathed out a sigh of relief as she flitted away, turning back to Harvey. He kissed him again, excited, laughing, "How's your mom! I didn't think you'd be back this soon! I mean, I'm really happy to see you, just! Wow! Surprised!" 

Harvey kept his arms snug around Jim's waist, for once not caring one bit about anyone looking their way. He was desperate for comfort, saying quietly, "Ma's good. Real good. They let her go home this morning..." 

"So. What's wrong?" Jim gently asked. 

"Well, /he's/ there," Harvey said bitterly, "My stupid fuckin' dad. Still has this crackpot idea about us being all a perfect family whatever and shit. He showed up last night at the hospital again, and my ma invited him back over today. So, fuck it. She's okay, and he's... I don't fucking know." 

Jim gently nudged Harvey's cheek, trying to comfort him. "At least you're back in class now? You've been gone, damn, it feels like forever. I've missed you." They had certainly seen each other outside of school, but class hadn't been the same without Harvey here. "I'm glad your mom's okay, and I'm really, really glad you're here." 

Harvey offered a little smile. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah," Jim agreed. 

The bell rang, but now Harvey was grinning. He grabbed Jim's hand, starting to tug him down the hallway. "Well," he said brightly, "C'mon, let's go celebrate!" 

"Celebrate?" Jim asked, confused as Harvey dragging him down towards the closest bathroom. 

"My victorious return to school," Harvey explained, swinging open the bathroom door, and leading Jim in behind him. He looked around, making sure they were the only ones present before pulling his boyfriend down in the stall at the end. 

Jim chuckled as Harvey locked the door behind them, their backpacks falling to the floor. He could feel a rush of blood flushing his face when Harvey dropped down to his knees, grinning as he asked, "So, your first day back, and we're both going to be late to class?" 

"It's for a very good cause," Harvey assured him, lifting up Jim's shirt, and kissing his stomach. 

Jim melted against the wall, sighing deeply as Harvey unbuttoned his pants, his mouth pressing more hot kisses against his skin as he worked his way south. He gently ran his fingers through Harvey's hair, smiling tenderly. "You know, I really did miss you." 

Harvey appreciated the sentiment, but only offered a snarky smirk in return, snorting, "Hey. Trying to suck you off here. We can have pillow talk afterwards." 

Jim laughed, but the sound was cut off as Harvey took his cock into his mouth. Jim bit down on his fist, trying to hold back a loud moan as he felt every inch of himself eagerly sliding down Harvey's throat. 

Damn, Jim thought to himself, Harvey had /really/ missed him, too.


	33. Party Prepping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey still doesn’t really want to go to Barbara’s Halloween party, but Jim takes it upon himself to convince him.

Jim Gordon was flushed and happy, beaming as Harvey Bullock helped him get his pants back on. His body was happily buzzing from orgasmic bliss, perfectly content. They shared a sweet kiss, Jim relaxing in his boyfriend's arms with a long sigh. "Mmmph." 

"Good?" Harvey chuckled, nuzzling against Jim's cheek. 

"Very." 

Harvey smiled, cradling Jim close. He knew they had already missed most of their next class; with everything he had been absent for, what was one more? He wanted to stay in here with Jim for a little while longer. 

His father being back in the picture had completely shaken up his day. His mother didn't even eat the breakfast Harvey had made, opting to have the donuts his dad had brought by instead. And when it was time to take her medicine, she told him that she had already taken it. Dear ol' Dad had helped her with the doses. 

Harvey should have been grateful for the help, but it only made him more resentful. One morning of smiles and pastries didn't make up for years of bullshit. Yeah, Ma seemed happy for him to be back; but Harvey hated it. 

He hated it because he was certain that it wouldn't last. It was only a matter of time before the damn bastard would leave again, break Ma's heart, and Harvey would be left all alone to pick up the pieces like always. 

"You okay?" Jim asked gently. Harvey was being a little too quiet, instantly sparking his concern. 

"Hmm?" 

"I can practically smell the smoke from your brain working so hard," Jim teased. 

"Sorry," Harvey said, shaking his head. "Just a lot of shit on my mind." He wanted to switch gears, quickly saying, "So. Babs was trying jump on your dick again?" 

"No," Jim groaned, "She was not, ugh, doing, _that_. Well. Not exactly. She was just inviting us to to her party." 

"You mean she was inviting _you_ ," Harvey corrected. 

Jim frowned, saying, "I told her I wouldn't go without you." 

"You really wanna go?" Harvey asked, surprised that Jim seemed to be actually considering it. 

"Sure, I mean, maybe?" Jim looked sheepish. "I've never been to a real party before, and if I'm gonna go... I want to go with you. Plus! It's a costume party. So, we'd get to dress up!" 

"What are you, fuckin' twelve?" Harvey laughed. He cleared his throat, frowning when he saw the hurt in Jim's face. A pang of guilt stole the last of his chuckles away, groaning, "Fine. If you really wanna go, we'll fuckin' go." 

"Yeah?" Jim brightened up again, laughing, "Damn! I didn't expect you to give in so easily. I mean, I was ready to resort to bribery. I was prepared to offer you all sorts of sexual favors." 

Harvey snorted, kissing Jim's cheek. "Shit, if you're still offering, I ain't gonna turn you down." 

"But you already said yes!" 

"Maybe I'm feeling a change o'mind comin' on," Harvey teased. "Suddenly, I no longer want to go to the party. It's the weirdest damn thing! Suddenly, yeah. I might need extra convincing." 

Jim narrowed his eyes, huffing, "You need your head examined." 

"Or maybe just some head?" Harvey offered, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

Jim pursed his lips, sliding his hand down the front of Harvey's jeans. He could feel his boyfriend's cock, already hard and ready to go. 

Harvey hummed at the contact, licking over his lips with a little sigh. 

Jim continued palming over Harvey's cock, scrunching up his face as he pretended to debate his next move. He tugged at the zipper of Harvey's pants as he kneeled down in front of him, lightly chastising, "This is extortion, you realize." 

Harvey's eyes twinkled with mischief, grinning wide. "Really? That's what this is? 'Cause, you know, to me, this seems like a blowjob." 

"Shut up," Jim groaned, pulling Harvey's pants and underwear out of his way. He was trying to maintain an annoyed attitude, but he couldn't stop the goofy smile from tumbling over his face when their eyes met. 

Harvey bit down on his lip as he watched Jim take his cock into his mouth, sucking softly. Damn, Jim had gotten _really_ good at this. He gently ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, sighing, "Mmph. That feels real fuckin' nice, baby." 

Jim's heart swelled with pride at the compliment, using his hand to hold Harvey's cock firmly at its base as he began to slowly bob his head. He still had some difficulty taking it all in, but he used his fingers to stroke whatever wouldn't comfortably fit past his lips. He lapped his tongue along Harvey's shaft, sucking harder, faster. 

"Fuck," Harvey hissed, throwing his head back as he tried to swallow down a loud moan. He pulled at Jim's hair, letting out a shuddering breath as he praised, "That's so fuckin' good. God, you look so fuckin' hot suckin' me off." 

Jim could feel his cheeks heating up at the lewd comment, but he loved to hear the encouragement. He continued sucking, feeling Harvey tremble beneath him. He could hear Harvey's breathing picking up, turning into a steady pant. 

"Close," Harvey warned, whining in frustration. He'd wanted this to last longer, but fuck, it was impossible with the way Jim was so eagerly blowing him. He could feel that familiar spring twisting up deep inside of him, threatening to snap at any moment. 

Jim squeezed his hand tight, jerking faster. He had to pull away briefly, gasping for air before diving down to wrap his lips back around Harvey's cock. He heard Harvey grunt in complaint at the brief interruption, but soon all he could hear was soft moans and whimpers. 

"Fuck! Coming!" Harvey gasped as that orgasmic spring finally snapped, coming hard in short thrusts. He had to fall back forward against the door of the bathroom stall to brace himself, his eyes locking onto the beautiful sight of Jim eagerly swallowing his load down. "Fuck, you're sexy." 

Jim pulled off, smiling shyly as he ran his tongue over his lips. He laughed as Harvey hauled him up to his feet, pulling him into a passionate kiss. He murmured softly when their tongues met, tangling his fingers into Harvey's hair. He was so hopelessly in love with this boy, teasing softly, "So... does this mean we're officially going to the party?" 

"Mmm," Harvey mumbled thoughtfully, nuzzling against Jim's cheek. He slid his hands over Jim's hips, grabbing his butt. "Might need just a little more of that extortion stuff to really convince me?" 

"Oh, c'mon!" Jim groaned. 

"I'm kidding! Kidding!" Harvey grinned. He sighed dramatically, saying, "You got me, okay. We'll go to the stupid ass party, okay?" 

Jim kissed Harvey happily, cheering, "Yes! It's gonna be so much fun, Harvey! I can't wait!" 

Harvey shook his head, trying to share Jim's excitement, but it was hard. He didn't really like Barbara, trusted her even less; he couldn't shake the oddest feeling he had that going to the party was a bad idea. But Jim seemed so into it, and he didn't want to spoil it. 

Besides, Harvey was gonna go with him. 

What was the worst that could happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your wonderful patience! Have a little bit of smut and a glimpse of the pending drama for the coming chapters. BWUHAHAHA. Enjoy!


	34. Halloween Party Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey accompanies Jim to Barb's Halloween Party as he promised, but he can't help but think it's all a huge mistake.

Harvey Bullock had never been a fan of parties. Getting trashed with a few close friends was one thing; but being trapped in a house full of drunk strangers was not his idea of a good time. Too crowded, too loud, too much commotion. He had been dreading this since he had agreed to go, still left with a faint sense of doom he couldn't shake. 

There was a lot of alcohol, and a lot of kids here. Not to mention, the hostess was Barbara, and she had made it painfully obvious she wanted Jim for herself.

He didn't like this one bit, but it was hard not to appreciate how excited Jim was. From the moment they had arrived, he was practically floating from room to room. He was greeting fellow classmates, joking and laughing, and Harvey couldn't recall ever seeing Jim so relaxed.

Whatever trashcan punch was mixed up in the little red cups being served out of the kitchen was definitely helping his nerves, Harvey figured. It smelled way too sweet for his liking, but Jim had been nursing on it like a little hummingbird at a feeder all evening. He was constantly flitting back and forth to the kitchen, and soon Harvey had lost count of just how many drinks his boyfriend had chugged back.

Harvey kept Jim close, especially when he saw a little bit of a sway in his step. And when he stumbled for the first time, Harvey decided it was finally time to cut him off.

"Okie dokie, no more for you, drunkie!" Harvey laughed, wrapping his arms around Jim's waist and helping steady him.

"But I'm fine!" Jim protested, pouting sourly. "Maybe just one more?"

"You never drink!" Harvey snorted, still in disbelief that somehow Jim had managed to get himself pretty trashed in just a few short hours.

"Because alcohol tastes gross, but this, _this_ is really good!" Jim defended, waving his little red cup around.

Harvey was glad it was nearly empty, or else red punch would have splashed all over the both of them. He carefully removed the cup, setting it on a nearby table as he chastised, "Yeah, so fuckin' good you can't walk straight."

Jim was upset at the loss of alcohol, but quickly seemed to forget all about it as he wrapped his arms about Harvey's neck. He smiled brightly, nuzzling his nose against Harvey's as he asked, "Are you having a good time?"

"Yup," was the short reply. "Very good."

"You didn't even dress up," Jim complained loudly. He had certainly been disappointed when Harvey had come over to pick him up and was wearing his usual hoodie and jeans combo.

"But you look fantastic," Harvey easily countered, smiling brightly. And fuck, Jim really did look awesome. He was dressed up as some kind of Greek god, his tan skin peeking out from a white toga that was definitely too short with golden olive branches curling around his ears. Harvey definitely approved.

"Yeah?" Jim beamed at the compliment, proud of his costume.

"So fantastic," Harvey nodded, "So very fuckin' fantastic that we should go ahead and leave and-"

"We haven't even danced yet!" Jim fussed, looking every bit like a pouting puppy.

Harvey held back a groan, certain that gyrating around was the very last thing that Jim's stomach needed, but it was hard to resist that sweet pout. "Fine," he replied, "We'll dance a little bit... and then we can leave?"

Jim's pout did not retreat.

"I mean, I really love this costume," Harvey said, desperately trying to maintain a smooth tone, "But I would really like it a whole lot better with you out of it... Like, you know, on the floor somewhere..." He punctuated his remark with a playful nip at Jim's neck.

Jim couldn't resist the way that Harvey's little love bite had piqued his interest in other fun activities, laughing as he finally gave in. "Fine! We'll dance, and then we can go, okay?"

"Deal," Harvey chuckled.

Jim was already starting to sway in Harvey's arms, his feet easily finding the beat from the music blasting throughout the house. He knew that Harvey had only come out tonight to spend time with him, and it meant more than he could say. Jim had been having so much fun; Harvey not so much. Even as drunk as he was, Jim knew his boyfriend was growing tired of all the excitement.

They had already been here for several hours, perhaps it was about time to head back home. Plus, Harvey had borrowed his father's truck for the evening, and Jim had to admit he was a little curious about exploring the backseat. He was already starting to think of several ways to show his appreciation for how patient Harvey had been all evening.

As he continued to teeter back and forth in Harvey's arms, Jim began to feel a little queasy. He frowned, slowly pulling away as he said, "Maybe... Uhm. Maybe we'll skip the dancing."

Harvey's brow furrowed, watching Jim's face intently. He looked positively green. "Are you okay?"

Jim nodded his head, replying, "Yeah. I may just need to... well..."

"You gotta puke?"

"No!" Jim snapped indignantly, embarrassed and flushed. He couldn't believe how awful he was starting to feel. He felt his stomach violently slosh, adding stubbornly, "I just need to use the bathroom."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No," Jim gasped, mortified at the idea of Harvey seeing him get sick. "I'll just be a minute, all right?"

Harvey gave him a knowing smile, gently nudging his cheek. "You go handle whatever you gotta do. I'll send in a rescue team if you don't come back in like five minutes, okay?"

"Okay," Jim agreed, attempting a small smile and kissing Harvey's cheek. "I'll be right back!"

Harvey watched Jim practically sprint towards the bathroom, shaking his head. He picked up what was left of Jim's cup, taking a small sip and immediately grimacing. It was sickly sweet and reeked of alcohol; no wonder his poor boyfriend was on his way to hold congress with the porcelain gods.

He abandoned the drink and worked his way outside to have a cigarette, deciding to give Jim a few minutes to take care of himself. When he was done smoking, he headed back inside the house towards the kitchen. He didn't see Jim, but wasn't too concerned. With the amount of alcohol Jim had chugged back, he was pretty sure he'd be tied up in the bathroom for a good while.

Harvey made his way to the closest bathroom, finding the door open and no sign of Jim. Just two kids from their class making out. He quickly retreated and moved back through the kitchen towards another bathroom. That eerie sense of dread was back, crawling all over him.

Where the hell was Jim?

As he came up to the other bathroom, he saw the door was shut and he could hear the toilet flushing. He bit his lip, hopeful that it would be Jim coming out of there. His shoulders sagged when the door opened, and it was just some other kid from school. No Jim.

Now he was getting really worried.

He knew there were some bathrooms upstairs. Maybe Jim couldn't find one down here to use, so he went up there? Harvey bolted up the steps, his heart thudding with dread. Maybe Jim had passed out somewhere, maybe he had stumbled and hit his head, he could be hurt, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Harvey started opening every door he came across, not even caring whose privacy he might be potentially invading. He got an eyeful once or twice of some kids screwing around in some of the spare bedrooms, quickly moving on and mumbling apologies for interrupting. He was running out of rooms to check, near frantic now to find his boyfriend. Then he heard laughter. Very familiar laughter. Even with the music still pumping away downstairs, he recognized that voice immediately and he scowled furiously.

Barbara.

He stomped towards one of the last doors in the hallway, jerking at the knob, his anger making him clumsy. He could hear another voice inside the room with Barbara, his stomach dropping down in fear. He knew that voice, too.

Jim. No, it couldn't be!

Harvey finally forced the knob to turn, flinging the door open so hard it slammed against the wall. The first thing he saw was Jim's toga costume strewn across the floor, certain his blood was boiling so hot steam was leaking out of his ears. Why had he taken it off. Why. He looked up towards the bed, his anger only escalating when he saw Jim and Barbara there together.

Barbara had her hands on Jim's chest, poised as if she had been about to pounce on him. Jim looked just as sick as he had before, perhaps a bit confused, and dressed in a completely new costume.

"You got exactly two seconds to tell me what the fuck is going on," Harvey snarled, staring furiously at the pair. It was taking every bit of willpower he had not to go sailing across the room and sock Barbara right in the face. He found himself staring at his dear boyfriend, snapping, "And Jim, what in the _fuck_ are you wearing!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Look who's not dead! Bwuhahaha! I have not forgotten about this lovely fic or any of my other projects, I promise. My goal is to finish this one before the end of the year, and start working on the rest after that. Thank you for your patience, your kindness, and all your love. <3 
> 
> Smutty goodness in the next chapter, and maybe - just MAYBE - Barbara learns her lesson. XD


	35. Gimme A "J"!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim finds himself in a very awkward position with Barbara.

Jim Gordon had learned two very important things that evening. The first was that he knew Harvey loved him without a doubt. He had tolerated his drunken shenanigans all night with nothing but a smile, and only a handful of mild gripes. He still hadn't said those three magical words, but Jim knew in his heart that his boyfriend loved him deeply. 

The second thing he had learned was that he could not handle his liquor. The punch was horribly sweet, masking the alcohol almost completely, and he had soon found himself completely trashed. It was all sloshing rather violently in his gut, and he just knew he was going to be sick. 

He rushed to the nearest bathroom, but found it occupied. Crap, he didn't have time for this! He whirled around to hurry to the next one, but found himself crashing right into someone as he tried turning a corner too quickly. Red punch splashed all over him, blossoming into a festive pink across the front of his toga. "Oh, fuck! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" he sputtered, already kneeling down to pick up the emptied cups. "I really didn't mean to!" 

Jim stared upwards, his vision a little fuzzy from all the drunk, squinting to identify his victim. Well, fuck. "Barbara, wow. I am super sorry!" 

His victim was none other than the hostess herself, pouting down at Jim as she gasped, "Why, Jim! Are you all right? And oh, your poor costume!" She reached down to grab his hand, pulling him up to his feet. She dramatically tried patting at his chest, shaking her head in dismay. "I'm just so clumsy! I should have been looking where I was going!" 

"No, it's my fault," Jim protested, "I was in such a hurry, just trying to find a bathroom-" 

"Oh! You can come upstairs and use mine!" Barbara exclaimed, far too excited. She continued to pet the soiled material, fingers wandering over Jim's lean chest. "We'll get you out of that wet costume! Maybe I can try to wash it before it stains." 

Had Jim been a wee bit more sober, he would have realized that this was clearly no accident. 

"N-no," Jim said quickly, shaking his head. "I mean, thank you, but I'll get get cleaned up with some paper towels. And I still really need to go to the bathroom-" 

"Both the ones down here are being used!" Barbara chirped, pulling Jim towards the stairs. "It'll just be a minute, we'll get you cleaned up, and right back to the party before you know it!" 

Jim frowned, suspicious, but he really did need to be in the vicinity of a toilet and fast. He let Barbara lead him upstairs, barely able to hold his head up. It weighed a million pounds, and damn, he was still awfully nauseous. He barely opened his eyes as he stumbled behind her, blinking as he suddenly felt himself being pushed down onto something soft. 

A bed. He looked around, hearing the door shut, the sound going off inside his mind like a gunshot. Fuck. They were in Barbara's room, and he was on her bed. This was not good. 

Barbara was slinking towards him, beaming proudly as if she had just won a great victory. She grabbed at the ends of the toga, easily pulling it over Jim's head before he could even react, and discarding it on the floor. "There! Much better, don't you think?" 

Jim crossed his arms over his chest, all too aware now that he had been a fool. He had nothing on underneath his costume except his briefs, nervous and exposed. He should have known better, but he had still wanted to believe that Barbara was a nice person. Maybe it still wasn't too late. "Yeah, thanks!" he said weakly, his stomach continuing to dangerously churn. "Now, the uh, the bathroom?" 

"We have to get you something else to wear, silly," Barbara laughed, resting her hands on his bare shoulders. "But really, we're in no rush... I've been really wanting to spend some more... _personal_ time with you, Jim." 

Jim's face flushed, embaressed and angry. He had tried so hard to be polite about this, but Barbara kept pushing him. Maybe he had been going about this the wrong way. He thought back to something Harvey had told him, holding his chin up high, and saying through clenched teeth, "Fuck off, Barbara." 

"What?" Barbara's face froze as if Jim had slapped her. 

"Fuck off," he repeated defiantly, pushing her hands away. "I've tried so hard not to be a jerk about this, but you, you! Y-you just won't stop! It's fucking rude! And kind of fucking crazy! For the last time: I'm with Harvey, I don't fucking like you like that, and I don't even think I wanna be friends with you anymore because you won't quit!" 

Barbara's mouth opened, but no words came out for several seconds, clearly stunned. She stuck her nose up in the air, saying quietly, "Well... you could have just told me that you weren't interested. You didn't have to be so mean." 

Jim wanted to pull out his hair and scream, but sighed defeatedly. "Whatever... just... give it a break, okay?" 

"Fine," Barbara pouted, planting her hands on her hips. She gave Jim's unclothed form one last appreciative stare, sighing dramatically. "Well, I _guess_ you need to get back to the party." 

Jim stood up, but quickly realized walking around in his underwear was not a good look for the entire school to see. "Were you serious about maybe having something else I could wear?" 

Barbara tilted her head, thinking for a moment. It was obvious she had never actually planned on putting /more/ clothes on Jim, only set on removing them. After a moment of thought, she smiled wickedly. "Oh. I have just the thing! It might be a little snug, but your legs will look amazing." 

Jim should have known it was a terrible idea, but he still quite drunk and what Barbara offered was dry and warm. He dressed quickly, fumbling a little with the zipper of the top, asking quietly, "Don't suppose I could get a hand?" 

"Sure," Barbara giggled. She started to zip it up, but Jim was starting to sway again. "Ulgh, sit down before you fall down." She ushered him back to the bed, sitting him down to complete the task. "There!" 

"Thanks," Jim said, blushing at the ridiculous costume and the ridiculous situation he had found himself in. He still felt bad for having to be so direct, his guilty eating at him. He looked up at Barbara, saying, "You know, I am sorry... for being an ass." 

Barbara shook her head, replying curtly, "I will survive. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that." She took a seat beside him, her hands wandering over his chest one last time in admiration, laughing, "But definitely no other fish that look this good, ahem, in a uniform." 

Jim blushed furiously, laughing with her. He still felt pretty sick, but at least he had finally found a sense of closure with Barbara's crush on him. "So... maybe we can try to be friends?" 

"Friends," she agreed. "As long as you let me take a picture of you wearing that outfit." 

Jim laughed, doubting that Barbara would ever really change, but maybe this was a start. He was just about to suggest he finally use the necessary to tend to his aching stomach when the bedroom door came crashing open. 

Which is exactly why Harvey found him in bed with Barbara, his soiled costume on the floor, and wearing her Gotham High cheerleader uniform. 

Harvey couldn't believe it. The top of the uniform showed off Jim's lean stomach, his toned arms, and that stupidly short pleated skirt gave him the perfect view of those lovely long legs. It wasn't fair for anyone to look that attractive in a silly cheerleading outfit, but he couldn't deny how his arrousal made his anger briefly take a backseat. 

"Harvey," Jim began quickly, "It isn't what it looks like-" 

"I don't even know what the fuck I'm looking at!" Harvey snapped angrily. 

"Ulgh, calm down, cave man," Barbara drawled, rolling her eyes as she hopped up to her feet. "I spilled a drink on Jimmy, messed up his costume, so I let him borrow something else to wear." 

"It was an accident," Jim said, his eyes pleading with Harvey to control his temper. Oh, he felt so sick. He held his stomach, saying urgently, "Nothing happened, a-and I finally told her to fuck off!" 

Harvey scoffed at Jim, still ready to grab Barbara by the hair and drag her right down the stairs. "This shit ends," he snarled at her, "No more of this cheap ass bullshit messing with Jimmy. I'm tired of it, and-" 

"Already done," Barbara groaned. 

"Seriously," Jim added quickly. "She, eh..." He burped rather loudly, his face becoming a lovely shade of green. "She totally is gonna... back off." 

"Jimmy, you okay?" Harvey knew that look, had seen it on many a drunk kid's face before. 

"Jimmy?" Barbara asked, immediately sitting back down beside him. She patted his shoulder, sweetly soothing, "Oh, you're okay. Little too much fun?" 

"Will you stop fucking pawing him!" Harvey groaned. 

"I'm not!" Barbara insisted. "This is the act of a concerned friend-" 

"Barbara," Jim squeaked desperately, trying to stand up. "I need to go." 

"No! Harvey needs to understand that we can still be friends, whether he likes it or not!" 

"Barbara!" Jim was frantic now, her hand on his shoulder keeping him in place, too wobbly to fight back. This was it, this was bad. He didn't even hear what Barbara was saying now, but he could tell Harvey was arguing, too. All the world was starting to spin, and he couldn't hold it in any longer. 

Jim threw up the entire contents of his stomach, every last splash of red trash can punch, all over Barbara's lap. He couldn't stop retching, embarrassed and miserable, especially when she started screaming. Pretty sure the whole house must have heard her. 

Harvey was laughing. He was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down his face, and he almost fell over. "Oh, fuck! That's awesome!" 

"I'm so, so sorry!" Jim gasped in between heaves. "I tried to tell you-" 

"Out, out! Get the fuck out!" Barbara was shrieking, shoving Jim away from her, wailing in disgust. She was absolutely covered in vomit, screaming, "Get the fuck out before I kill you both!" 

Harvey was still laughing, grabbing Jim around his shoulders, and helping him to his feet. He started leading him back outside, saying cheerfully, "Pretty sure now you _really_ don't have to worry about Barbara messing with you again. Now she might just murder you." 

Jim groaned, and could only manage a small hiccup in reply as they made their way down the stairs. 

Harvey gave him a gentle squeeze, asking gently, "You gonna make it, baby?" 

Jim stared up at Harvey, still quite a bit tipsy, but he managed a happy smile. "Yeah," he sighed, "I mean, after that, I actually feel a lot better!" 

"What, from puking? Or puking on Barbara?" 

"Both. Definitely both."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bwuhahaha! Poor Barbara! Sort of. Not really. Up next - Harvey lets Jim know just how much he likes that cheerleader getup. <3 Smut, ahoy!


	36. Tricks and Treats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey have just a little bit of Halloween fun. <3 
> 
> Smuts ahead!

Halloween was almost over, but Jim didn't want to go home just yet. Harvey drove them over to the park, turning the truck off once he had found a secluded spot. He hated to admit it, but there were perks to having his old man back around. Being able to borrow his wheels for sure, but also knowing that someone was at home with his mother was huge. Harvey would have never been able to go out to a party before; he would have been too worried. 

Tonight had been truly awesome, and Harvey was actually really glad they had come out. Shit, he wouldn't have traded seeing Jim puke on Barbara for anything else in the world. Plus, that cheerleader outfit was really hot. Maybe his father being back in his life wasn't that terrible, but he still wondered how long it would be this time. 

He had rolled down the window to smoke, smirking over at Jim as he asked, "So... how ya' feeling, babe?" 

"Really much better," Jim laughed, tugging on the edges of the skirt. "Probably never drinking again. Like, ever." 

"Not a bad idea," Harvey chuckled, his eyes following Jim's fingers carefully. That skirt was far too short, able to catch a glimpse of Jim's briefs underneath. He grunted, shifting in his seat and taking a long drag of his cigarette. Damn. 

"You okay?" 

"Oh, good. Totally good! Just, you know." Harvey looked out the windshield, saying casually, "Just enjoying that I told you so." 

"About what? Barbara?" Jim groaned. "Come on, okay. I was wrong, I admit it. I should have been more direct, I was being way too nice. Just, ulgh... I think the whole spilling my guts all over her sent a very clear message." 

"Actually, it was more of a bright red color," Harvey teased. 

Jim flipped him off, trying again to adjust the skirt. He felt far too exposed in this ridiculous outfit, sobering up enough to now be a little embarrassed about how silly he must have looked. "Yeah, yeah. Very funny." 

"Mmmhmm," Harvey hummed, his eyes again wandering down to Jim's thighs. 

Jim quirked a brow, following Harvey's gaze. His boyfriend kept giving him the weirdest looks ever since they had left the party. He finally realized what was so captivating, gasping, "Will you quit that!" 

"What!" Harvey snapped. 

"You're staring at me like I'm, like, like I'm a piece of meat!" 

"I can't help it!" Harvey pleaded, gesturing at Jim's legs. "I mean, fuck, look at you! I didn't think I ever had a thing for cheerleaders, but damn if you're not doin' somethin' for me all dressed up like that. Gimme a damn 'f', 'c', 'k', and all I need is you, you dig?" 

"You think this is... what? Attractive?" Jim asked incredulously. 

"As hell." 

"I look ridiculous." 

"You look completely fuckable." 

Jim blushed, running a hand through his hair nervously. "Well, you know... we still have a while before we have to be home. And this is a pretty roomy truck, lots of room, for... things... I mean, if you'd want to." 

Harvey had already thrown his cigarette out the window and practically lunged at Jim, laughing, "Get your ass over here." He pulled Jim up into his lap, scooting towards the middle of the seat so the steering wheel wouldn't be digging into his back. 

Jim grinned, throwing his arms around Harvey's neck, crashing their lips together in a feverish kiss. He giggled as Harvey's hands immediately slid up his thighs and under the skirt right to his butt. "You really like this, don't you?" he asked breathlessly. 

"Mmmph," Harvey confirmed, his fingers squeezing each handful of Jim's ass tightly. "Definitely." 

Jim kept laughing, but the mirthful sound was lost in a moan when Harvey's tongue slid into his mouth. He was a little shy, considering how sick he'd been, but Harvey didn't show any signs of caring. The kiss was getting hotter, deeper, and Jim gasped when Harvey's hips rolled up. The scratch of denim on his inner thigh was exciting, and he could feel Harvey's hard cock pressed tight against his crotch. 

Harvey broke their kiss to nuzzle at Jim's neck, sucking hard as his fingers began to work past the edge of his underwear. He traced along the edge of his cheeks, pulling him close as his hips grinded forward. God, the /sound/ that came out of Jim when they pressed tight like that was extraordinary. It was a needy moan, broken off into several loud pants. 

"Feel good, Jimmy?" Harvey asked breathlessly, his teeth nipping at his throat. "You like that, grinding on my dick?" 

Jim whimpered pitifully, nodding. It felt really good, arching his back to force his hips down, chasing down every last bit of friction he could. Harvey's fingers were still teasing around his ass, and he gasped when he slid a dry finger down around his hole. 

Harvey grinned wickedly, taunting him, "I can't wait to see you come all over this fuckin' skirt." 

"Harvey," Jim groaned, blushing furiously. He raked his hands down Harvey's chest to his jeans, shifting his hips as he unbuttoned them to free his cock. He reached under the skirt and pulled his underwear down, pulling out his and taking them both in hand. 

Harvey moaned appreciatively, loving how hot the flesh of their cocks felt rubbing together as Jim stroked them. "Fuck," he whispered, eagerly sucking and kissing at his throat, "Just like that, Jimmy. You're so fucking hot." 

Jim was beaming from all the attention, swiping his tongue across his palm before grabbing both their cocks again, jerking them together slowly. 

Harvey grunted his approval, noting that the windows of the truck were quickly fogging up. He stuck two of his fingers in his mouth, sucking on them lewdly as he winked at Jim. Fuck, he looked so pretty like this. 

Jim's skin was flushed down to the v-neck of the uniform top, mouth hanging open as he panted. His eyes widened as he watched Harvey lubing up his fingers, his ass arching up in anticipation. 

Harvey kissed him roughly, his fingers sliding back around his ass and teasing at his hole in little circles. 

Jim moaned in protest against Harvey's lips, jerking their cocks faster, trying to encourage Harvey to stop tormenting him. But Harvey was having none of it, patiently dipping just the tips of his fingers inside him, refusing to rush this no matter how hard Jim tugged or how much he whined. 

Jim's cock was slick with precome, sliding it over both of their members as he continued to stroke them, grinding his hips back against Harvey's hand, desperate for more penetration. He wasn't above begging, but thankfully Harvey finally gave him what he wanted, his fingers plunging deep inside his hole. 

Jim moaned shamelessly, throwing his head back, squeezing their aching cocks together. His hips bucked forwards and backwards, caught between Harvey's skilled fingers and his own grip as he jerked them off. The slide of his fingers over their cocks felt so good, gasping as Harvey bit at his shoulder, whimpering low, "Harvey..." 

Harvey didn't think his name had ever sounded so sinful, fingering Jim harder, trying to match his quick rhythm. God, he wasn't going to last long like this. He pressed his teeth down harder, panting, starting to shake, grunting, "Come on, Jimmy. Come for me, baby." 

Jim groaned, his body jerking as he obeyed Harvey's command. He was moving his hand so fast his fingers were a blur, rolling quicker and quicker, his moans starting to pick up as Harvey matched his pace. His voice reached a feverish pitch, his thighs trembling as he came. 

Harvey kept going, mumbling little noises of encouragement. He could feel Jim turning to goo in his arms, reaching down to take over. He guided Jim through the last few shudders of his orgasm, chasing down his own only a few strokes behind. "God! Fuck, fuck, /fuck/!" he cried out, his hips grinding forward as he came. It was always so good with Jim. He actually felt a little dizzy from the rush, not even caring about the sticky mess now drying between them. He was panting, letting his head fall against the seat, grinning dopily. 

Jim slumped forward against Harvey's chest, trying to catch his breath. This night had definitely not gone as he thought it would, but he couldn't say it hadn't ended well. "Wow." 

"Mmmph," Harvey agreed, satisfied. He nudged Jim over just enough to grab some napkins from the glove compartment, doing his best to clean them up. He was pleased to see they had thoroughly destroyed the front of Jim's skirt, not even caring his hoodie had also taken some damage. He giggled, kissing Jim sweetly. "Told ya' I'd make you bust all over that thing." 

"You're disgusting," Jim chuckled, nuzzling their noses together, "Happy Halloween, baby." He rolled out of Harvey's lap, stretching out his legs down into the floorboards. 

Harvey slid his hand over Jim's thigh, creeping back up to the edge of his skirt, teasing, "Trick or treat, right?" 

"You already got your treat," Jim laughed, smacking at his hand. 

Harvey cackled, sliding back behind the steering wheel. He moved to light another cigarette, blowing out a slow puff of smoke. He smiled warmly, his eyes moving over his boyfriend, admiring the view. 

Jim was slouched down in the seat, face flushed, hair all mussed up, costume a wreck, and grinning like a fool. 

Harvey thought he looked absolutely gorgeous, saying softly, "I'm one lucky bastard." 

Jim felt his heart swell at the sweet comment, leaning close to kiss Harvey's cheek. He smirked, agreeing, "Yeah, you are." 

Harvey snorted, cranking the truck back up, holding his cigarette in between his lips as he scolded, "Smart ass. Huh. Some asshole's shit sense of humor has been rubbin' off on you." 

Jim beamed, proud as could be, laughing, "Damn skippy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT! Not the best smut I've ever smutted, but it'll do. Thank you for reading!


	37. Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey finally tells Jim something very important.

"Tell me again," Harvey wheezed, grateful he was already stretched out on the ground. He was laughing so hard he thought he was going to faint, tears rolling down his face. "Please. What did she say. About your choices." 

"She said it was my choice, and she would support me," Jim replied dryly, not amused in the slightest. 

"And, and, the shopping?" 

"She even offered to take me shopping, yes, it's all very funny." Jim's cranky tone suggested otherwise, trying to ignore his crazy boyfriend as he adjusted the lens on his camera. 

They were at the park after school working on a new project for photography class. Harvey had been sleeping, and completely missed the assignment. Jim tried to explain it to him; something about perspective, finding lines. Something, relative position, something else. All he knew is that he needed to take a picture of a fence like Jim told him to, and then he was done. 

Jim was teetering on the very edge of the shoreline of the little pond, trying to avoid falling in, and shoot the underside of the bridge for his project. He'd already taken a dozen pictures, but he still wasn't satisfied. He couldn't get it just right, blaming his lack of focus in part on the cackling redhead rolling around in the grass behind him. 

Jim had made the apparently grave mistake of sharing with Harvey what had happened a few days after the Halloween party when his mother found the cheerleader costume he'd worn in the laundry. She had assumed Jim was exploring other interests, and wanted to let him know that she loved him, and that he had her full support if he wanted to dress that way. 

Jim had truly appreciated the sentiment, glad his mother was such a sweet soul, but he had been quick to explain the situation; at least, as best as he could without admitting to getting drunk and puking everywhere at the party. 

Harvey thought the whole thing was fucking hilarious. 

"You should have told her yes!" Harvey was snickering. "Oh, my God. You could have gotten some little panties, fuck, little lace ones? Oh, blue! Yes, blue, to match your eyes. Please. Fuck." He grabbed his chest, out of breath. "Fuck, I can't breathe. I might pass out." 

"Good!" Jim drawled, his face coloring up nicely. He shook his head, grumbling, "Serves you right, making fun of me." 

Harvey took several deep breaths, grinning from ear to ear. "I'm only making a little fun; and it's only funny because you get so fuckin' embarrassed." 

"I'm not embarrassed!" Jim argued, his ears turning bright red despite his denial. 

"Bullshit." 

Jim shook his camera in frustration, imagining it was Harvey's neck. He gave up on getting the shot he wanted for now, too distracted, coming back to sit beside Harvey in the grass in defeat. He couldn't stay mad for very long staring down at his boyfriend's goofy grin, punching him playfully in his ribs. "You are such a dick." 

"It's okay to have a fetish, Jimmy," Harvey giggled, unrelenting. 

"You're the one who keeps talking about me wearing panties," Jim countered. "Kind of starting to think you're the one with the, ahem, fetish." 

"What can I say," Harvey sighed, lighting a cigarette and wiping his eyes. He grinned, winking slyly. "Mmmph. I do like pretty things." 

"You're so terrible," Jim laughed. He set his camera next to their backpacks, rolling over to snuggle up beside Harvey. "Like, you're rotten." 

"Just the fucking worst," Harvey smiled, cradling Jim close. His hair smelled like coconuts, letting the comforting scent wash over him. The last few months had been the absolute happiest of his life. The anger that plagued his heart for so long had begun to fade away, left only with a tender warmth he never wanted to lose. 

He had once thought of himself as an old junker car that no one would want; but Jim did. Jim saw past the broken bits and rust, to the beautiful frame underneath. No one else had ever done that. 

Jim loved him, honestly and truly. 

Harvey knew at that moment he couldn't ever live without Jim. This was the person he wanted to be with forever. He was finally ready to tell Jim that he loved him, too. 

He realized he was breathing a little faster, keenly aware of his heart pounding up just behind his tongue. He tried to swallow it back down, fidgeting. Fuck, he was anxious. He had made up his mind to tell Jim how he felt; now he just had to get the balls to actually say it. 

Jim seemed to notice something was amiss, lifting up his head to peer curiosity up at Harvey. He was immediately struck by the intensity at which Harvey was staring at him with. "Something wrong?" 

"No," Harvey said softly, surprised how emotional he felt. "For the first fucking time, not a goddamn thing." 

Jim raised his brow, trying to figure out what Harvey was on about. The way he kept looking at him made his stomach flutter, laughing nervously, "Okay, seriously. What is it? What's wrong?" 

"Your eyes," Harvey said, dodging the question. "You know, they're so fucking blue." 

"Uh huh." 

"Like, they're window cleaner blue. If I had to describe the color, like using only one word..." 

"C'mon." 

"Windex."

Jim groaned, resting his head back down. "You're such an idiot." 

"Yes," Harvey decided, "Windex blue. For real. You know, it's just one of the many things I love about you." 

Jim snorted, starting to complain, "You're so..." Wait. Did Harvey just say... He raised his head again, gawking dumbly at his boyfriend, his heart pounding. He had to have heard him wrong. Jim hadn't dared to even hope Harvey would say those words yet, blinking in shock. 

"So? I'm so what? Handsome? Amazing? Gorgeous?" Harvey suggested, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh! Ravishing, perhaps?" 

"Did you..." 

"Did I what?" Harvey said innocently, adoring how Jim's face wrinkled up in confusion. 

"Did you say..." Jim frowned, accusing, "You didn't say it. You're fucking with me." 

"Just a little," Harvey teased, reaching out to touch Jim's cheek. "But I did. And I _do_." 

Jim's mouth parted, trying desperately to say something, his heart swelling up three sizes too big for his chest. His eyes were watering, a huge smile lighting up his face. He wanted to shout, laugh, jump up to his feet and run around the park, screaming for joy. 

"Tell me," Jim demanded breathlessly, tangling his fingers into Harvey's hair. He needed to hear it. He had to know this was really happening. "Please." 

"I love you," Harvey replied softly, proud that his voice didn't tremble from the weight of the emotions taking over him. He felt elated, happier than he had ever been. He urged Jim close, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. Fuck, he loved this beautiful boy so much. He didn't deserve him, not at all, but he didn't fucking care. 

"I love you," Jim sighed, crying softly into their kiss. "I love you, too." 

"I love you so fuckin' much." Harvey pulled Jim close, kissing him deeply. Jim was crying even harder now, and he pulled away in alarm. "Hey, hey! You're supposed to like it when people say this mushy shit, not turn on the water works," he soothed, petting Jim's hair. 

"I'm just so happy," Jim sobbed. 

Harvey chuckled softly, kissing Jim's forehead, hugging him tight. He rubbed his back, admitting, "It took me a little while to pull my head out of my ass, but you know... I'm happy, too. So fucking happy." 

"Say it again," Jim asked softly, sniffing back his tears, nuzzling against Harvey's neck. 

"I love you," Harvey laughed. 

"One more time?" 

"I love you," Harvey sighed, rolling his eyes. He smirked playfully, teasing, "You keep asking, I'm gonna have start charging." 

Jim playfully swatted at Harvey, laughing. "Jerk." 

Harvey grinned, kissing the tip of Jim's nose. "Yeah, but I'm _your_ jerk." 

"And my jerk loves me?" Jim asked, eager to hear it once more. 

Harvey paused before answering, a soft smile playing on his lips. He couldn't imagine ever being without Jim now. No matter what happened with his mom or his piece of shit dad or whatever else life wanted to throw at him, as long as he had this sweet man at his side he felt like things would be okay. 

"I love you," Harvey said sweetly, promising him sincerely, "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took him long enough, right?! XD


	38. Squish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey enjoy their love for each other. And a little bit of the frustrations that come with it. XD

"You love me?" 

"Sure do," came Harvey's reply, smiling smugly. 

"Really?" Jim laughed, idly toying with the ends of Harvey's hair. 

"Fuckin' really," he confirmed. 

They were standing in the alley outside of Harvey's work, freezing their butts off this time of night. It was sure to snow any day now, and it was so damn cold. Despite the weather, they still came here to hang out. It was one of the only places they could have any time alone together, and braving the frigid temperatures was worth the intimacy. 

Harvey held Jim close, for warmth and comfort, chuckling at the pleased expression on his face. Since finally spilling those three magical words the other day, Jim had become completely addicted to hearing them as much as possible. Harvey thought it was silly, but it made Jim so happy to hear it so he was content to oblige him. 

"Good," Jim sighed, pressing his cold nose into Harvey's neck, kissing him lightly. He was so happy they had made it this far together, the two of them totally in love, and Jim couldn't have asked for more. 

Well, he _wanted_ more, but actually getting to it was a whole other story. 

It had only been a few days since Harvey had confessed his feelings, but already Jim was getting anxious to take their relationship to the next step. He had already made up his mind that he wanted Harvey to be his first. All he had been waiting on was for his boyfriend to feel the same way he did. Now that moment had come, but the opportunity for a more physical advance hadn't yet arrived. 

They just couldn't get any damn time to themselves. 

Neither one of them could afford to miss any more class. The one time they did try skipping, Jim's mother came home unexpectedly and Harvey swore off doing it at his place while his father was staying there. Jim absolutely refused to have his first time in a school bathroom or in the back of Harvey's father's truck, so they were stuck at a most frustrating impasse. 

Jim shivered, snuggling a little closer up to Harvey. 

Harvey smirked, teasing, "Are ya' cold?" He slid his hands under Jim's jacket, feeling for the edge of his pants. "Because I can totally think o'some ways to warm you right up." 

"Harvey," Jim whined, wiggling in protest, "It's too damn cold." 

"Fiiine," he groaned, pouting. He was as frustrated as Jim was, if not more so. Screwing around at school was always so rushed and sloppy. It wasn't enough. He wanted to finally fuck, dammit. 

_Make love_ , he heard Jim's voice in his head correcting him. 

Yeah. That, too. 

Harvey had done plenty of stuff before, but making love was gonna be a first for him as well; you know, whenever they finally got the chance to do it. 

"I'm sorry," Jim sighed. He laid his head against Harvey's shoulder, watching him pull one of his hands away to light up a cigarette. "I know we haven't had a lot of time, and it never feels like that the _right_ time, and-" 

"Shut up," Harvey said with a smile, exhaling a long puff of smoke. "Good things are worth waiting for, remember? I feel like a broken fucking record. I keep telling you. It's not a big deal. It's sex; and yeah, I really, _really_ wanna do it, but it's all right. We'll figure it out, Jimmy. You want perfect, you deserve perfect." 

"Aw, Harvey. That's so swee-" 

"I mean, I don't think anybody's ever actually died of blue balls before," Harvey declared, "But I'm willing to risk that. No matter the pain and suffering, it's okay. Even if my dick falls off. I'll do this. For you." 

"Ugh." Jim rolled his eyes. Harvey really couldn't allow a tender moment to pass by unmolested. He snorted, mumbling, "You're just the best." 

Harvey cackled, teasing, "You love me, remember?" 

"Mmmhmm." Jim smiled, chuckling, "Even when you're being a jackass." 

"And that's why I love you," Harvey said, adoring how Jim's face lit up hearing those words again. "You _know_ I'm a fucking mess, and you still love me." 

"That reminds me. Did you finish your assignment for tomorrow? The color wheel?" Jim pressed. He suspected he already knew the answer. 

"No, because it's fucking stupid," Harvey snorted. "I already did that shit last year when I had Mr. Groat for art." 

"Didn't you flunk that class?" 

"Yes, but not because of my stupid fucking color wheel," Harvey laughed. "Gotta be in class to pass the class, and his was first thing in the damn morning. May have overslept a few times." 

"Well," Jim drawled. "You're lucky your amazing boyfriend happens to have an extra color wheel for you to turn in." 

"Look at you, Boy Scout! All prepared and shit." Harvey flicked away his cigarette butt, frowning. "Wait, how did you know I hadn't done that stupid thing?" 

"I didn't," Jim admitted with a sheepish smile. "I didn't like the first one... so, I did it again." 

"What's not to like? It's a bunch of fucking colors on a piece of paper." 

Jim was not going to bother explaining that he hadn't been pleased with the particular shade of green he'd ended up with on his first attempt, saying simply, "I just didn't like it, so I did it again." 

"Wasn't perfect?" Harvey teased knowingly. 

"Shut up," Jim pouted. "You should be thanking me!" 

"And your serious ass OCD," Harvey added. He got a little shove for that, giggling, "Thank you, for real. Anything else I'm missing for class you wanna do for me?" 

"Well," Jim considered for a moment. "Have you thought of anything to turn in for the competition? It's gotta be by the end of the year, I think. Maybe before winter break." 

Harvey stared. 

"For the scholarship Mr. Groat told us about? You submit a photograph? You could win money for college... oh, my God. You said you were listening!" 

"I was! Sort of?" Harvey grimaced. He had definitely not been listening. 

"Just... pick out a picture you like, and you turn it in," Jim sighed. "It's supposed to be about why you like photography. I'll help you write the essay part. It only has to be like a hundred words or something." 

"Will they accept nudes?" Harvey wondered out loud. "Also, totally unrelated question. Can I take nudes of you?" 

Jim stood on his toes, kissing the laughter out of Harvey's lips. He shook his head, smirking. "You're ridiculous." 

"That's not a 'no'," Harvey said slyly, waggling his eyebrows. 

"Ridiculous," Jim affirmed. He hugged Harvey tight, knowing that their time together was coming to a close. "When are you off again?" 

"Not until next week," came the glum response. 

"My mom still wants you to come over for dinner," Jim reminded him, laughing softly. "Something about talking to you when you actually have all your clothes on." 

Harvey blushed, all too familiar that he was always in a state of undress for all of his encounters with Mrs. Gordon so far. "Yeah, yeah. Let me check with Ma and shit head. I'll see what's up." 

"Thank you." Jim knew that was as firm a commitment as he was going to get, rewarding his boyfriend with a tender kiss. He felt Harvey's arms squeezing his waist, smiling and running his fingers through his long hair. He gasped as the kiss deepened, suddenly turning too hot, too passionate. He was trying desperately to reroute all the blood in his body trying to head south, whining, "Harvey..." 

"Sorry," Harvey grumbled, already half hard, putting some distance between them. "You drive me fucking crazy. Go home before I get frostbite trying to jack it out here." 

Jim laughed, kissing him once more before pulling away. "I love you." 

Harvey smiled, bright and warm. "I love you, too." He was so fucking happy, lost in Jim's bright eyes as he smiled back at him. That beautiful boy was his whole world. Harvey tilted his head, grinning slyly as he called out after him, "Hey!" 

"What?" Jim paused, turning his head to look back at Harvey. He had the sweetest look on his face for a moment, wondering what in the world was going through Harvey's mind. His heart pounded a little faster, biting his lip anxiously. 

But then Jim saw that flash of mischief in his boyfriend's smile, instantly suspicious. "Do I even want to know?" 

"When I jerk off at home tonight, I'll totally be thinking about banging you." 

"Ughhhh!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly fluff filler chapter. Setting up for the big dinner with Jim's mama bear and a few other things. 
> 
> I fully intended for this fic to carry on to the end of the school year for the boys, but unless I make a huge time jump? I think it may end after Christmas/New Year's. Because I just can't stop. And I want to maybe work on other things.
> 
> Ozzie and Ed want my attention, plus I'm itching for another Gordlock AU. :3
> 
> Enjoy! Thanks for reading. <3


	39. Dinner Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey comes over for dinner!

Harvey Bullock had never considered himself to be a nervous person, but being the sole target of Mrs. Gordon's piercing stare was not a happy place to be. Oh, sure, she was smiling; but no doubt she was imagining all the different ways she could murder him if he ever harmed her son. He loved Jim more than anything, he would never dare hurt him, and he was prepared to tell her as much. But fuck, he couldn't think straight when that woman had a chef knife in her hand. 

Tonight was the big dinner Mrs. Gordon had been requesting for weeks, and Harvey couldn't have weaseled out of it if he had tried. Jim had looked so happy when Harvey finally agreed to come, and fuck, he was all out of excuses to keep putting it off. He didn't have work, and Ma said she would be fine with dear ol' dad caring for her this evening. He tried not to worry too much, but this dinner was a big deal. It was his first official meet the parents situation. He'd never been with anyone long enough to ever get to this point, and damn, he really didn't want to fuck it up. 

Harvey knew he wasn't exactly the type of guy any mother or father would relish their child bringing home, but he hoped Mrs. Gordon would be able to see how much he really loved Jim. 

He even said a little prayer before he left that everything would go well. He wished that he could have shown up with flowers, but he guessed Mrs. Gordon would at least appreciate he was wearing a shirt. 

It was even clean. 

Jim had lit up like a Christmas tree when he answered the door. His smile was bright and eyes shining with excitement, so very happy Harvey had really come; he was even on time. The look on his face made all of Harvey's fears vanish instantly, blushing at the sweet little kiss Jim greeted with. 

Everything was going to be fine, Harvey assured himself, there wasn't any reason to be nervous. 

Well, there wasn't until Mrs. Gordon started showing off those knife skills. 

"So, lived in Gotham all your life, Harvey?" she was asking, casually chopping up some vegetables at lightning speed. 

Harvey's eyes were watching the knife intently, replying, "Yes ma'am. Born and raised. My mom's from here, too." 

"That's nice," she said with a smile, butchering some carrots with such ferocity Harvey had to wonder what the poor things had done to anger her. "Are you planning to stay close for college?" 

"Uh," Harvey faltered, fidgeting anxiously. "I'm gonna probably... work for a while before I, eh, worry about more school." He didn't know how to tell this woman he couldn't afford college, that he had to keep working to take care of his mother. 

Jim was seated at the kitchen table beside Harvey, reaching over to squeeze his hand for comfort. He knew immediately what a sensitive topic this was. "Lots of people take time off after graduation to work," he said, quickly redirecting the conversation. "Gives them time to figure out what they wanna do." 

Mrs. Gordon gave her son a knowing look, glancing over at Harvey with a warm smile. "Of course. It's important to try and find something that makes you happy." 

"Pretty sure I already did," Harvey said, smiling sweetly at Jim. 

"Harvey," Jim giggled, blushing immediately. 

Mrs. Gordon smirked, giving her eyes a good natured roll. It was easy to see her dear son was crazy about this boy; and from the way he was looking back, the feeling was quite mutual. It was sweet, and it made her heart sing to her son so happy. "Easy on the mush, boys," she teased. "Now! You any good in the kitchen, Harvey?" She offered him the knife expectantly. 

"Uh, I'm okay, I guess," Harvey answered as he took it, blinking in surprise. 

"Give me a hand cutting up these vegetables?" she asked politely, teasing again, "I promise you'll have plenty of time to make googly eyes at Jim later." 

"Mom!" Jim protested, blushing harder. 

Harvey knew his own face was certainly red, but he smiled, nodding, "You got it, ma'am." 

From there, the rest of the evening went splendidly. Mrs. Gordon was completely floored by how talented Harvey was in the kitchen. He beamed at all the praise, helping her get all the food done in record time. They ate at the table together, joking and laughing, and Harvey couldn't have imagined any way for the evening to be better. 

Well, maybe just a _few_ ways, he thought, staring longingly at Jim's butt when he bent over to put away the dishes once they were done eating. 

The only hard part about tonight was having to keep his hands to himself. He was trying to be on his best behavior, but it wasn't easy when all he wanted to do was touch every inch of his boyfriend all the freakin' time. He had managed to sneak his hand over on Jim's knee while they ate, even let their feet tangle together under the table, and he couldn't resist stealing a quick kiss when he and Jim were cleaning up. 

Jim blushed at all the attention, knowing his mother probably wouldn't approve if she saw. He had been trying to be good, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out. When his mother stepped out to use the bathroom and left them alone to finish tidying up, he practically pounced on Harvey, pinning him up against the counter. 

"Your mom is gonna be right back," Harvey hissed in warning, but he was already holding tight onto Jim's waist, sighing into a passionate kiss. 

"Don't care," Jim gasped against his lips, desperately running his hands through Harvey's hair, kissing him madly. "You've been driving me crazy all night!" 

"Me?" Harvey chuckled, "I haven't done anything!" 

"Feeling up my leg during dinner? Staring at me?" Jim mouthed along Harvey's neck, mumbling, "God, I want you so bad." 

"Eager looks real good on you, Jimmy," Harvey sighed, sliding his hands under Jim's shirt. "I want you, too..." 

Jim whined, pressing his body forward as their kiss deepened. Since he had decided he was ready to have sex with Harvey, it had been almost all he could think about. He swore that his hormones were taking over his brain. He was stubborn, always had been, and once he'd made up his mind, he wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. 

And God, he wanted Harvey more than anything. 

Harvey heard a door shut somewhere in the apartment, groaning in frustration as he made himself pull away. 

Jim pouted, going in for one more kiss before trying to smooth down his shirt and hair. He smiled sheepishly as his mother walked in, trying not to look guilty. 

If his mother noticed how out of breath they were, she didn't say anything, cheerfully saying, "Why don't you guys pick out a movie, and I'll make some popcorn?" 

"Sounds great," Jim squeaked, grabbing Harvey's hand and dragging him into the living room. He helped himself to a few more feverish kisses once they were out of sight, giggling when Harvey's hands began to wander. He could hear the pop of popcorn starting to wind down and knew they needed to stop. "I should pick out a movie..." 

"Uh huh." Harvey sighed haggardly when Jim moved away, flopping down on the sofa in defeat. He adjusted himself so his pants weren't so obviously tenting, grumbling a few curses. He watched Jim fiddle with the television, not even caring what they were about to watch. Any time with Jim was time well spent, and maybe he could at least get away with holding his hand while they watched the movie. 

Jim came to sit beside him, making sure their legs were pressed as close as possible, flashing him a million watt smile. "I am really happy you came over," he said quietly. "My mom really likes you, I can tell." 

"It's been cool," Harvey said, folding their fingers together and giving him hand a little squeeze. "She's a real nice lady." He leaned close, daring to whisper in Jim's ear, "Bet she wouldn't like me much if she knew all the stuff I wanna do to her son." 

Jim squeaked, immediately flushing and started swatting at Harvey. "Stop that!" 

Harvey chuckled, raising his arms to defend himself, about to tease Jim again, but they both perked up as the phone started ringing. 

"Got it!" Mrs. Gordon called from the kitchen. There was a quick, muted conversation. She groaned loudly, hanging up the phone and sighing. 

Jim frowned, calling out to her, "Everything okay?" 

"Oh, that was work," Mrs. Gordon answered, already bustling to gather up her coat and purse. "I have to go back to the office for a little while. You guys finish the movie without me. Popcorn is in the kitchen." 

Harvey immediately perked up, slowly turning to grin at Jim. 

Jim swallowed back a squeal, his heart racing. Could this really be happening. This was really happening. If his mother left... 

"You're more than welcome to stay and hang out, Harvey," she continued, keys jingling in her hand. "As long as you're home whenever your parents are expecting you, of course." 

"Of course," Harvey echoed, smiling sweetly. "Thank you, Mrs. Gordon." 

"I love you, Jim! I'll be home as soon as I can!" she called out as she headed to the door. 

"Love you, Mom!" Jim called back, hoping his voice didn't sound too excited. He was already tapping his foot on the floor anxiously, ready to spring up at any second. 

Mrs. Gordon paused at the doorway, smirking at the two boys. She had a pretty good idea of what was going to happen the moment she left. Ah, to be young again. "Have fun," she said, chuckling to herself. "Good night!" 

"Night!" Jim squeaked. The door shut, and there were a few awkward moments of silence. He swallowed hard, turning to stare at Harvey. "So..." 

"So," Harvey said, twiddling his fingers together, grinning wide. 

"Do you wanna-" 

"God, yes, let's fucking go-" 

"Right now!" Jim couldn't stop himself, launching his whole body right at Harvey and climbing into his lap. He kissed him feverishly, wrapping himself around his boyfriend as tightly as he could. He moaned when he felt Harvey grinding against him, rutting back eagerly. 

Harvey was panting, still in total disbelief this perfect opportunity had been given to them. He was expecting Mrs. Gordon to pop back through the door at any moment, his heart racing with anticipation. As the moments ticked by, it seemed they were truly going to be alone and could proceed without interruption. He gently cradled Jim's face, forcing the kiss to slow down, withdrawing his tongue, nuzzling their noses together. 

Jim was having none of it, whining in protest. He was already so worked up, gasping desperately. He tried to chase Harvey's lips, pleading, "Harvey, please..." 

"Easy there, baby. Come on," Harvey soothed softly, his eyes warm and soft as he slowly got them both to their feet. They had both waited for this for so long, and he didn't want to rush a second of it. 

"What is it, Harvey?" Jim asked, bouncing on his feet anxiously. "Don't you want to...?" 

"Fuck yeah, I do! But we got plenty of time, yeah? No need to rush, baby." He took Jim's hand, kissing it gently as he took a deep breath, saying earnestly, "Let me... let me make love to you." 

Jim's smile could have lit up the entire city of Gotham. He started leading Harvey back towards his bedroom, sighing happily, "I love you." 

"I love you, too," Harvey replied, smiling brightly. "Now, let's do this fuckin' thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BWUHAHAHAHA SWEET SMUTTY SMUT AHEAD


	40. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey finally make love. <333 
> 
> Sexy times ahead!

Jim wasn't sure how long they kissed. Their clothes had long been lost to the floor, tangled up in his bed together, kissing passionately. It could have been only a few minutes, but he would have sworn it had been hours. Time seemed to be frozen around them, each second dragging on for a sweet eternity. 

Every inch of his skin was abuzz with sensation and his face felt numb, the only thing rooting him to reality was the brush of Harvey's lips, and the prickle of his stubble. 

Harvey held him as if he was the most precious thing in the world, his hands lovingly caressing his back, softly tracing over the curves of his spine. He had certainly touched Jim before, definitely had seen him naked, but this was so _different_. He stroked every bit of skin as if it was the first time, fingers lavishing affection everywhere they went, and whispered in Jim's ear how beautiful he was over and over again. 

Jim wanted this more than anything. He had wanted it from the moment he knew he was in love with Harvey, and knew in his heart that he wanted him to be his first. These past few days had been absolute agony. He knew how much Harvey wanted this, too. Even with the promise of making love, he had honestly expected to be thrown down on the bed and ravaged immediately. 

But no, Harvey was taking his time, was dragging it all out for as long as possible. If Harvey'd had the time to get candles, he would have lit them. If he had known where to get roses, he would have spread their petals all over the sheets. He wanted to do everything he could to make this perfect because fuck, he loved Jim so much. He didn't exactly have the time to do any of that romantic crap, but he could still make this special. 

He eased Jim back on the bed, settling down between his legs. He licked and fingered and stretched him until he was nearly mad with pleasure, ensuring that his body was ready for this most intimate of embraces. Jim was a moaning, writhing mess, left absolutely aching for more. 

When Harvey was certain that Jim was at his limit of teetering back and forth on the edge of ecstasy, he pulled him up into his lap and started kissing him again. He could feel Jim's lean body trembling in his arms, trying to hold him close and steady his shakes with his strong hands. 

"Are you sure you're ready?" Harvey asked softly. He sounded hoarse, a bit breathless. 

Jim nodded, kissing him eagerly, replying, " _Yes_." 

Harvey gently laid him back onto the pillows, never letting their bodies lose contact if he could help it. He was so happy; he was about to make love to Jim Gordon. He had certainly done this particular dance before, more times and with more people than he would usually admit, but he realized he was a little nervous. This wasn't some sporadic tumble in the sheets, this was _Jim_. 

Harvey wanted this to be _perfect_. 

Jim kept his hands on Harvey's shoulders, watching intently as he reached down between them. Oh, God. This was really happening. He heard the rustle of the condom wrapper, and then he could feel Harvey's cock slowly pushing up against him, seeking entrance inside him. He was panting loudly, nearly hyperventilating as the moment was almost here. 

"Relax," Harvey reminded him sweetly, "I love you." 

Jim let himself fall into those pretty green eyes, taking a deep breath to help reset the rhythm of his breathing to a slower pace, nodding. "I love you, too," he whispered, licking his lips anxiously. 

This was it. 

Jim felt Harvey begin to push inside of him, a low whine winding up in the back of his throat. He wasn't even sure how far Harvey had gotten before he felt a flash of pain, and his whine shot up to a loud cry. Oh, fuck, it _hurt_. It hurt like hell. Even with all the prep and lube, it was weird and uncomfortable, and the sting was unforgiving. His body was tightening down on the new intrusion, tears welling up in his eyes. "Harvey, it, it hurts," he panted. 

"It's okay," Harvey reassured him, kissing him softly. "You've gotta trust me. If it really gets too bad, tell me, I'll stop." 

"Okay," Jim nodded, gulping back a whimper. 

Harvey kissed him, giving Jim a few more moments to ready himself before he started to move again. Jim was impossibly tight, and the heat of his body clenching around his cock was beyond amazing. Each little sound Jim made was driving him insane. The way he clung to him, whimpering so sweetly; Harvey had never felt passion like this before. It was so tempting to go faster, to wreck him completely, but he forced himself to be patient. 

Jim cried out as Harvey slipped in a little deeper, only to pull back and slide in even further. The pain was beginning to fade, and he could feel his body finally relaxing, willing himself to let Harvey inside of him. He let his legs fall apart, holding onto Harvey's neck so tightly he was fearful for a second he might not be able to breathe. 

But Harvey didn't mind, pressing his face down into the crook of Jim's shoulder and slipping his arms around him. Through a series of carefully controlled thrusts, he was finally all the way in, hungrily kissing Jim's neck. Even when he wasn't moving, the sensation of being inside Jim was heavenly. "You feel so fucking good," he whispered, "Are you okay? Keep going?" 

"God, yes," Jim gasped. "P-please, don't stop." 

Harvey began to roll his body forward with more purpose than before. He was still struggling to hold back, he didn't want to cause his lover any pain, but even the most gentle of movements was tearing moans out of Jim that made him shiver. 

Jim didn't know what to do with himself. He was helpless, a complete slave to the building snap of Harvey's hips. He couldn't think about anything else except the thrusting between his legs, the pleasure boiling down in his loins. He dug his fingers into Harvey's back, nails threatening to open up skin, pleading, "Oh, God, there, that's, that's, oh, my, _God_ , please, right there, don't stop, don't fucking stop!" 

Tears were falling down Jim's face, fingers curling into Harvey's hair and pulling him over into a deep kiss. Harvey's lips muffled his cries, losing himself completely as their bodies rocked together. He had never felt so _full_ , so _complete_. It was overwhelming, frying every nerve in his brain as he writhed beneath him. 

It had never been easy for Jim to be close to anyone, and allowing himself to be vulnerable nearly impossible. But here, with Harvey, he found that giving himself over was as natural as breathing. He trusted Harvey like no other, loved him so deeply it frightened him. He surrendered completely; mind, body, and soul. 

He couldn't control the sobs escaping him now, trying to smother them against the hot flesh of Harvey's shoulder. There was a heavy ache washing over him, whining desperately. The sensation was building quickly, down deep inside him, and he could feel every muscle tightening until he thought something was going to burst. 

"Harvey, please," Jim begged, straining as he struggled to express how he needed to find relief from the overwhelming feeling. "I need to... I..." 

"I've got you, Jimmy." Harvey understood immediately, shifting his weight onto one hand so he could grab Jim's cock, stroking him quickly. Only then did he finally let himself go, thrusting hard as he sought to chase down his own release. His hand moved in time with the slick smacking of their bodies crashing together, purring, "Come on, baby. You're doing so fucking good, come on, come for me." 

Jim nearly howled when Harvey picked up the pace and grabbed hold of him, hands fumbling for something to hold onto. He reached above his head to tangle his fingers around the bars of the headboard, throwing his head back into the pillows. "Fuck!" he cried, gritting his teeth as Harvey tore into him. It was suddenly hard to breathe, gasping for air in between pleading for more, for all of it, for anything Harvey would give him. 

"Fuck, fuck!" Jim whined, his back starting to arch off the sheets. "I'm, yes, yes, oh, God, _Harvey_!" He saw flashes of light, little spots dancing across his vision as every last muscle of his body cocked and fired off as his orgasm rolled through him. The tears came again, joyously wrecked as he felt Harvey shuddering right behind him. 

Harvey's mouth was on his in a hot and heavy kiss, roughly grinding their hips as their bodies trembled together in bliss. 

Jim clung to him now, winding his fingers through his hair, kissing him desperately. He couldn't stop the flow of tears, still shaking even after the last tremor of his orgasm had already left him. He had done it, he'd had sex, and it was beyond anything he could have ever hoped for. He was happy he had waited for so long, waited for his sweet Harvey, not wanting to imagine having shared this with anyone else. 

Harvey held him close, slowly pulling away and kissing the tears streaking down Jim's flushed cheeks. He was smiling so tenderly, his eyes soft with adoration as he gazed at the beautiful boy in his arms, asking gently, "You good?" 

Jim nodded, smiling shyly. He hurriedly wiped at his eyes, replying excitedly, "So fucking good." He kissed Harvey, sighing contently. His body was aching in places he didn't even know could hurt, but he was basking in a sweet satisfaction he'd never known before. He was warm, all the way down to his toes, happy as could be. "It was... It was amazing." 

"Amazing, huh? Well, shit. I was aiming for 'perfect'," Harvey teased. 

"Perfectly amazing," Jim laughed. 

"Hmmph." Harvey knew they had to move, had to get them both cleaned up, but he didn't want to just yet. He wanted to hold onto this moment a little bit longer. He nuzzled against Jim's neck, murmuring, "You just fuckin' wait. I'll give you fucking perfect." 

"Mmmm, how long exactly do I have to wait?" Jim asked, moaning softly as Harvey nibbled at his jaw. He was still very sensitive, his skin in particular from so much prior stimulation, realizing how easy it would be to get worked up and want to do it all over again. He gasped at a particularly hard bite, whining as he felt Harvey finally pull out from him. He pouted, hating the sudden emptiness. 

Harvey was rolling off to snuggle beside him, laughing "Don't worry. Give me long enough to smoke a damn cigarette, and I'll be more than ready to give you perfection." 

Jim smiled, shifting onto his side as he watched Harvey retrieve his smokes and a lighter. He placed his hand on Harvey's chest, his thumb idly tracing over a few freckles and finally come to rest atop his heart. "You know," he said softly, "It really was perfect." 

"Oh, I know," Harvey replied with a wink. "This is me we're talking about. Everything I fucking do is perfect. It's okay, baby, you'll get better. It was your first time, after all." 

Jim rolled his eyes, shoving Harvey and groaning, "You are such an asshole!" 

"But I'm _your_ asshole," Harvey was happy to remind him. 

"Still makes you an asshole!" Jim laughed. 

Harvey smirked as he lit his cigarette, taking a drag and exhaling slowly. He was ready to come back with another sarcastic line, maybe another joke. Instead, he leaned down and softly kissed Jim's forehead, telling him, "I love you." 

Jim smiled. "I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only took 40 chapters to get here, but wooooo! Our boys finally did it!!! I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you guys enjoy it.


	41. Nighty Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey try for round two!

Somehow, Harvey convinced Jim to let him smoke _two_ cigarettes before finally cutting him off. Even with the window open and generous doses of air freshener sprayed, Jim suspected his mother would still be able to smell it. He took a few cautious sniffs while he waited for Harvey to come back from the bathroom, deciding maybe he should light a candle just in case. 

"See, now if I'd known you had that, I woulda lit that shit," Harvey pouted upon his return when he saw the candle burning. 

"Oh, yeah?" Jim smiled, admiring Harvey's naked body standing in his doorway. He really was so damn beautiful. Neither one of them had bothered to get dressed yet, and Jim was grateful for the view. 

"Yeah!" Harvey grinned, shutting the door behind him and crawling back into bed. "You know, be all romantic and shit." 

"How sweet," Jim giggled. He pulled the covers over them, snuggling up beside him. "I'm just hoping my mom won't be able to tell I let you smoke in here again." 

"You know, you should be more worried about the smell of sweat and sex in here," Harvey teased, cuddling close, kissing playfully along Jim's collarbone. 

"It does not smell like that," Jim defended, but he hesitated. "Right?" 

Harvey shrugged, laughing, "Maybe? I don't think your mom is really gonna be that surprised. She did leave us alone. Pretty sure she has a good idea what we've been up to..." He smirked, pleased with Jim's mortified expression. 

"Come on. I really don't want to think about _her_ thinking about _us_ doing it," Jim said with a grimace. "It's weird. Just, no. She doesn't know, she never needs to know. Don't bring her up again. You're... you're, just, ulgh." 

"Aww, don't want your Mom to know her baby boy was gettin' some?" Harvey cackled happily. 

"You're disgusting," Jim wailed, but he couldn't stop himself from laughing. 

Harvey was grinning as he gazed lovingly at Jim. Fuck, Jim looked gorgeous; still flushed all the way down to his chest, eyes soft, and God, the way he was smiling now. It made Harvey's heart skip a few beats. 

He gently nudged his cheek, asking, "You good?" 

"Better than good," Jim replied, sighing contently. "I'm just... still kind of... I don't know. Wow. It was so much different than I thought it was going to be. And kind of, well, eh... now I'm sore?" 

"Normal," Harvey assured him with a sweet kiss. "It gets easier, you know, the more you do it. And I don't know about you, but I plan on us doing that a lot. Like, a whole fucking lot. But I can go grab a cold beer for your ass if you'd like?" 

Jim rolled his eyes, smacking at Harvey's shoulder. "Shut up." 

"Or just a beer for me to drink?" That earned him another smack. "But hey, you know, seriously," Harvey said, catching Jim's hand and pressing it to his lips, "You don't have to be the one takin' it. You can fuck me, too, if you want." 

Jim wrinkled his nose at the crude language, but he couldn't deny that the offer had its appeal. "Yeah?" 

"Totally," Harvey nodded. "It's good to try everything, you know? And fuck, there's so much nasty shit I wanna do to you." He started sucking hard at Jim's neck, mumbling, "Tie you up, slowly tease you for hours, maybe get you back in that cheerleader outfit again..." 

Jim squirmed, blushing at the mental images his boyfriend was conjuring up. "Harvey!" he protested, hating how much his exclamation sounded like a moan. He glanced over at the clock, shocked to find that several hours had somehow passed. "Shit. Stop! My mom will probably be home soon." 

Harvey continued sucking, biting down softly. "Well, we'd better be quick then, huh? I seem to recall promisin' somebody perfection..." 

Jim wiggled underneath Harvey's rough kisses, whining, "No, we'd better stop, we need to-oh!" He cried out when Harvey's hand grabbed his cock, giving him a tender squeeze. He moaned softly, feeling himself already starting to harden again. God, that felt nice. 

"Do you really want me to stop?" Harvey asked innocently. 

"Don't you dare," Jim hissed. 

Harvey chuckled, gasping when Jim gave his hair an impatient tug. "You're so damn sexy," he purred, his fingers stroking him slowly. "Fuck, I love you." 

"I love you, too," Jim panted, his body already winding up for more action. He pulled Harvey's mouth into a passionate kiss, moaning loudly. He was lost in the taste of Harvey's tongue when he heard the front door slam. "Oh, shit!" 

"Fuck!" Harvey agreed, scrambling up from the bed. 

The next few seconds was a rush of trying to figure out whose pants were whose, stumbling around desperately to get dressed before Jim's mother came to check on them. They were in such a rush that neither of them even noticed the empty condom wrapper still left on Jim's bedside table. 

"I can't find my shirt!" Jim cried, searching everywhere. He had his pants on, but his shirt was nowhere to be found. 

Harvey had managed to pull on all his clothes in a few seconds, moving to help Jim look. He spun in circles, frustrated and was convinced the damn thing had evaporated into thin air. "Fuck, I don't see it! Just don't worry about it, who cares, it's not a big... oh." He stopped, staring at Jim in an odd sort of way, smiling sheepishly. 

"What?" Jim blinked. 

"You definitely need a shirt." Harvey pointed to his neck, "Because you might maybe have-" 

"What did you do!" Jim demanded, his hand rubbing where Harvey was pointing. It was ridiculously futile to try and see what was on his own neck, groaning in annoyance. He couldn't see a thing, but he could definitely feel a few spots that seemed particularly tender. "You didn't." 

"I did," Harvey giggled. 

Jim glared. 

"Hey! I was caught up in the moment!" Harvey protested. "So, I left a few hickeys! They're little marks of my love for you!" He was doing his best not to laugh, clearing his throat as he amended, "Well, not exactly 'little'. You should definitely be finding another shirt to wear. I think I hear your mom coming..." 

"Shut up! You're such a jerk!" 

"No, seriously!" Harvey's eyes widened, snapping to the door. "She's like right there-" 

"You're really-" 

Jim was cut off by a cheerful rap at his door, staring dumbly as the knob began to turn. He couldn't even bring himself to peep out a single word to stop her, gawking at the smiling face of his mother peering in at them as the door peeked open. 

"Well, hello!" Mrs. Gordon chirped, "I didn't expect to find you still awake." She tilted her head at Harvey. "Or you still here. Getting kind of late, isn't it?" 

"Yes, ma'am," Harvey said politely, trying to wipe the stupid grin off his face. At least he wasn't the one half dressed this time. "I was just getting ready to head home. Uh, thank you again for dinner." 

"You're very welcome," she said sweetly. "Thank you for all your help! You really are quite the little chef, you know. Maybe next time I'll get you to cook?" 

"Sure thing," Harvey laughed, quickly adding, "Ma'am." 

"Well, then you're welcome to come back any time you'd like, Harvey! I'd love to have a break from dinner duty," Mrs. Gordon chuckled with a warm smile. "Lord knows Jim could burn a pot of water." 

"Yeah, kinda got the feelin' he's a little useless in the kitchen," Harvey teased. 

Jim was frozen in place, embarrassed and wishing he could vanish as easily as his shirt had. He couldn't believe how nonchalantly the two of them were talking right now, gulping loudly. He was convinced his mother would know exactly what they had been doing, terrified that his room smelled like sex since Harvey had put that idea in his head. He didn't even know what sex would smell like exactly, but he was convinced his room currently reeked of it. 

"Right," Jim squeaked, "Useless." 

Mrs. Gordon smirked at her flustered son, pushing the door open all the way as she said, "Now, you boys say good night. You both still have school tomorrow." 

"Yup, school," Jim repeated. 

"Good night, Harvey," she said, giving Jim a bright smile before stepping away to give them some privacy. 

"Night, Mrs. Gordon!" Harvey called out, sighing in relief once she was gone. He giggled as he wrapped Jim up a tight hug, whispering, "You should see the fuckin' look on your face right now. Where's that damn camera of yours when we actually need it." 

"How can you be so, she totally knows we did it, but, but you're so cool about it, she's gonna kill us both, or at least kill me," Jim babbled anxiously, his rambling thankfully silenced by Harvey's lips. He melted into the tender kiss, sighing softly. 

Harvey pulled back after a moment, kissing the tip of his nose with a happy smile. "It's okay," he assured him. "S'far as she knows, we just made out some, and yeah, you got a little nibbled on. She even invited me back over, so don't worry." 

Jim's brow wrinkled, mumbling pitifully, "Okay." He pressed close, grateful that Harvey could always ease the flow of his frantic thoughts. 

"Quit stressin'. Everything's fucking awesome." Harvey kissed Jim's forehead, holding him tight. He knew he had to go, but fuck, he didn't want to leave. 

Jim nuzzled against Harvey's cheek, the emotions of what they had shared tonight flooding back over him in a warm wave. He smiled, saying quietly, "Thank you... tonight was... it really was perfect." 

"I love you." Harvey wasn't the best at saying mushy things, but he hoped Jim knew how much he meant it when he said those three little words. 

Jim blushed from the beautiful way Harvey was looking at him, saying, "I love you, too." 

Harvey smiled, but he realized Jim was staring him expectantly, prompting him to ask, "What is it?" 

"I'm just waiting for you to say something nasty and ruin the moment like you usually do." 

Harvey laughed. "Well, I wasn't planning on it, but now that you mention it? I could suggest some positions for us to try next time. How flexible are you..." 

Jim gave him a playful shove, groaning, "Come on. I'll walk you out." 

Harvey grinned all the way to the front door, beaming happily. He could hear Jim's mother moving around in the kitchen, stealing one last kiss as he whispered, "Good night, baby." 

"Night," Jim smiled sweetly, watching Harvey depart down the elevator before finally shutting the door. He collapsed against the frame, pressing his hand against his chest. His heart was fluttering a mile a minute, overwhelmed with happiness. Thinking back to how it felt to have Harvey inside him, making love to him, made him shudder all over. Fuck, it had been so incredible. 

He was absolutely over the moon, brought out of his daze when he heard his mother calling for him. "Coming!" 

Mrs. Gordon watched her son practically float into the kitchen, reminding him, "It is still a school night." 

"Right!" Jim nodded. 

"Harvey's a very nice young man," she said, fixing herself a cup of tea. "Little rough around the edges, but he seems to care about you a great deal. And you really like him, too?" 

"Yeah," Jim said, a dopey smile curling his lips. 'Like' didn't even begin to describe the depth of what he felt for that boy. "Harvey's amazing. He's just... he's really amazing." 

"I'm glad you and Mr. Amazing are happy, I approve." She waved him off towards bed, glad to see her son so clearly happy. 

"Good night, Mom." 

"Good night, dear," she replied, a little twinkle in her eye. "Oh, Jim! One quick thing before you go to bed?" 

"Yeah?" He paused, turning back to look at her curiously. 

"Now, I'm very glad you're being a responsible young man," she said sweetly, sipping her tea, "But next time, make sure you don't leave the condom wrapper out where I can see it? I'd like to try and pretend I don't know what you two are up to just a little bit longer. Can't do that when you leave the evidence in plain sight." 

All the color drained out of Jim's face, sputtering, "We didn't... I mean. Uhm." 

"If you ever need any more condoms for that thing I'm pretending you're not doing yet, just let me know and-" 

"Mom!" Jim wanted to die. Right there. Just collapse on the kitchen floor, dead. "I'm... going to bed!" 

"Good night!" she chirped cheerfully. "And oh, you know this means you're definitely washing your own sheets from now on, right?" 

"Oh, my God," Jim groaned, "Good night, Mom!" 

"Night, sweetie!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No real plot here. Just a little bit of fluff! <3


	42. Thankful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's not having a good Thanksgiving, but Harvey shows him there's still plenty to be thankful for.

Jim Gordon had made it through several holidays since his father's passing; birthdays, anniversaries, but this would be the first Thanksgiving without him. Who was going to carve the turkey? Who would watch the game with him? Who would dare him to try eating just one more slice of pie? 

Especially since finding such happiness with Harvey, Jim hadn't thought much of his father's passing. He still missed him, still looked at photos of him, but the void his death had left didn't seem as empty. Jim was happy, content, and for the first time ever he was head over heels in love. The little dark cloud that always followed him had been lifted away. 

Until today. 

All at once, he suddenly felt drained. It was Thanksgiving, his first Thanksgiving without his father. His mother would be visiting distant relatives out of town because they weren't having dinner at home. She wasn't going to cook for only two people, and home wasn't even the right home any more; their house was gone, now they lived in an apartment. It was all because his father was dead. The thought knocked the breath right out of him. The hole inside of him had become a jagged chasm he couldn't escape from. 

He felt guilty for not thinking more of his father, for somehow not honoring his memory more properly. The anniversary of his death was fast approaching, and he realized he had nearly forgotten. At the end of this month would make a year since it had happened. He felt sick, miserable, convinced he was a terrible son. 

His mother had been very understanding, letting him stay at home instead of facing a crowd of unfamiliar faces over turkey and cranberry jelly. He barely knew the family members she was going to see, and it was better this way. She needed the comfort of people; Jim needed to be alone. 

And preferably not ever get out of bed. 

He couldn't sleep forever, the call of nature summoning him from the warm cocoon of blankets he'd made for himself. He finished up in the bathroom, and decided to try and face the day head on. He didn't change out of his pajamas, padding out to the kitchen to find something to eat. He wasn't entirely certain what time it was; early afternoon perhaps. 

He stared at the empty stove, the cold oven. They were all painful reminders that there was no celebration here today. He suddenly wished his mother hadn't left him, tears trying to work their way out as he sighed miserably. 

He sat down at the table, sniffing quietly. He was crying before he even realized it, holding his face in his hands. He missed his father so damn much. 

There was a knock at the door that brought him out of his sad thoughts, blinking. He went to answer it, laughing in surprise when it was none other than Harvey Bullock on the other side. He wiped his face and brightened up a little, exclaiming, "Hey! What are you doing here?" 

"Hey!" Harvey grinned and shrugged, his backpack slung over his shoulder and a pie in his hands. "Took a chance you might be home from your Turkey Day adventures." 

"How, how did you know?" Jim asked, surprised. 

"Didn't. Like I said, just, you know, thought I might get lucky. And if you were here, maybe I'd _get lucky_ , you know?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

"Ulgh, come on," Jim laughed, waving him inside. "What's with the pie?" 

"Well, I made this pie," Harvey explained, heading into the kitchen and setting it down on the table with a dramatic flourish. "My family decided to be total assholes, so I stole this pie." 

Jim snorted. "You stole your family's dessert?" 

"Nuh uh. I stole back _my_ dessert that they don't deserve." Harvey set his backpack down, grinning slyly as he pulled out a bottle of liquor. "Also figured they didn't deserve this whiskey either. They were pretty big assholes." 

Jim smiled, shaking his head. 

Harvey paused, taking a long and good look at his boyfriend. Something was wrong. His brow furrowed, asking gently, "You okay?" 

Jim tried to keep smiling, but he could feel more tears starting to sting his eyes. There was just something about that question that wrung his heart out. His instinct was to answer yes, everything was fine. But he couldn't. He wasn't okay at all. He shook his head, sniffing loudly. If he tried to talk, he was going to sob. He kept shaking his head, hugging his arms over his chest. 

"Hey, hey, come here," Harvey soothed, quickly wrapping Jim up in a tight embrace. He kissed his forehead, startled to feel him suddenly trembling in his arms. "Baby, what's wrong?" 

"No," Jim managed to sob. 

"No, what? No, nothing's wrong or no, you don't wanna talk about it?" 

"Don't wanna." 

Harvey nuzzled his cheek into Jim's hair, sighing. He wasn't going to push, and he really didn't need to. It was Thanksgiving, and Jim was home by himself. Harvey wasn't a rocket scientist, but he had a pretty good idea what was ailing his boyfriend. 

Jim collapsed against Harvey, crying harder. He didn't want to talk about it; he didn't want to think, he didn't want to _feel_. All of his grief was flooding over him like a tsunami. He wondered if it had been building up all these months, temporarily dammed by his happiness, only to come bursting forth now so he could drown. 

The only thing keeping him afloat was Harvey's embrace, his strong arms around him, his scent washing over him like a warm blanket. The miserable waters began to recede, Jim's sobs began to quiet. He buried his face against Harvey's shoulder, trying to calm down. 

Harvey wished like hell he knew what to say. He wished he could take his boyfriend's pain away, to fix this. He kissed Jim's forehead, saying gently, "So, you know. If you weren't here? I was just gonna get drunk out in your hallway and eat that pie all on my lonesome. But since you're here, we could _both_ get drunk and eat the shit out of it. Holidays are fucking stupid, you know. Family can be... it's..." 

Harvey struggled to find the right words, exasperated as he said, "Look, it's shit. Family is just total shit, okay?" 

Jim peered up at Harvey, offering a weak smile. He knew that his dear boyfriend was trying to comfort him as best he could, leaning up to softly kiss him. "You uh... you gonna tell me why you were gonna get drunk and eat pie outside my door?" 

"You know that piece of shit father o'mine actually suggested moving back in?" Harvey snorted and laughed, but it was a bitter and angry sound. "Fucker has decided he likes playing house so much, actin' like he's gonna stay for real this time. So, I told him, very politely, that I did not think that was the best idea." 

"Very politely?" 

"May have told him I hoped he choked on a concrete dildo with a barbed wire condom. You know, something like that." 

Jim laughed, his eyes brighter when he smiled. "You really are ridiculous, you know that?" 

"Yeah," Harvey replied with a grin. "And that's why you love me; which is something I'm super thankful for! Which is what this day is all about. Being fucking thankful and shit. I'm thankful for _you_ ,for my pie-" 

"Which you stole." 

"Technically, I'd like to think I rescued it. And I'm thankful for this booze-" 

"Also stolen." 

"C'mon," Harvey groaned, teasing, "Keep on and I won't share." 

Jim chuckled, gazing lovingly up at his boyfriend. "You know what I'm thankful for?" 

"That I don't have a small dick?" 

Jim rolled his eyes, laughing, "For you. For loving me, for... for making me feel better. For being so good to me. I was really worried about today not being... not being that great. I miss my Dad like crazy, but I know that I don't have to do this alone. I have you. So, I'm thankful for you." He smirked, adding playfully, "And that nasty mouth of yours." 

Harvey leaned in and kissed Jim sweetly. He grinned slyly, teasing, "Well, fuck. Let's drink, let's eat some fuckin' pie, and I'll put this nasty mouth of mine to work. I'll show you just how fuckin' thankful I'm feeling today." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smuts ahead! Wooo!


	43. Pie Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim eat some pie and have a lovely time!

A few drinks and half a pie later, Jim and Harvey were tangled up in bed together. Their clothes were scattered all over the floor, and Harvey's hand was down between Jim's legs, sucking at his neck. Jim was louder than usual, a bit tipsy, his cheeks rosy and flushed as he moaned. 

They had been intimate every chance they could since that first night, and it was always amazing. Jim wished they could do it all the time, but it was hard to find time to be alone and be certain that they wouldn't be interrupted. Jim couldn't get enough of Harvey, and even waiting a few days was pure torture. He had even dared to let Harvey bend him over against the wall in the school bathrooms a few times when he was particularly desperate. 

Harvey was attentive, loving, and endlessly patient with Jim. Whether he was pressed down into a mattress or up against porcelain tiles, Harvey always took such good care of him. Never had Jim been more grateful that he had waited for so long than when he was in the clutches of passion with his beloved boyfriend. 

Jim truly couldn't imagine being intimate with anyone else, especially when Harvey was touching him so sweetly like this. Harvey's fingers were already slick and inside him, curling up to reach that one little spot that always made Jim moan so much. 

Jim panted, "God, r-right there!" 

Harvey grinned, kissing Jim's jaw as he hooked his fingers. Fuck, he always made the prettiest damn sounds. 

"Harvey," Jim mewled pitifully, trying to push his hips down, trying to initiate more friction. 

"Yeah?" 

"Please," Jim begged. 

Harvey twisted his hand, forcing his fingers in deeper until Jim was almost screaming. 

"Fuck!" Jim wailed, clutching at the sheets beneath him. It was so good, white hot pleasure washing all over him, but fuck, it wasn't enough. He snapped his head up, his eyes pleading with Harvey even as he continued to cry out. 

"You good, baby?" Harvey asked breathlessly. 

"Need you," Jim whimpered, "Right now. Please." 

Harvey grunted as Jim grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling him down into a heated kiss. It was hot as hell when Jim got rough with him. He moved his hand, shifting his body over so his cock could take its place. He kept kissing him, sliding his tongue deep in his mouth as he began to push inside of him. 

God, the fucking _noises_ Jim made as he filled him up, crying out against his lips as his fingers dug into his scalp. Harvey started thrusting hard, trying to hold onto the kiss as long as he could. His brain demanded oxygen to keep going, finally having to break away to gasp for air, his hips snapping faster as Jim pulled his hair again. 

"Mmph, you feel so fucking good," Jim moaned, "Please, harder!" 

"Harder?!" Harvey blinked, panting. They were already going at it pretty damn hard. 

"Fucking _harder_!" 

"Damn, okay!" Harvey leaned back, throwing one of Jim's legs over his shoulder. He grabbed his hips, tilting him slightly as he began to experimentally thrust again, trying to find just the right angle. When he had Jim moaning out his name again, he pressed forward and slammed his cock back in. 

"Oh, my fucking _God_!" Jim was in absolute heaven, certain that they had never had sex like this. The rhythm of Harvey's thrusts was brutal, ruthless, and it was incredible. His hands reached out for something, anything to hold onto. He dug his fingers into the pillow behind his head, his back arching as Harvey tore in him, moaning shamelessly. 

Jim never wanted Harvey to stop fucking him like this. He was going so deep, so fucking deep and hard that it hurt, but the pain lasted only for a quick flash, immediately replaced by intense pleasure. Pain, pleasure, more pain, then more pleasure. He submitted himself over to it, so grateful that in this moment all he could feel, all he could think about, was Harvey. 

Harvey gave Jim everything he had, used every inch of himself to worship him over and over. He pressed forward until Jim's knee was his chest, grabbing a sloppy kiss, panting, "Fuck, Jim, I love you." 

Jim groaned, "Love you. So much." He wailed again when Harvey hit that spot, reaching down to start furiously jerking himself off. His end was close, he could feel it all the way down in his toes, his loins aching for release from this sweet torture. 

Harvey was grunting, his legs burning, throwing back his head as he warned, "Fuck, Jim, I'm gonna fuckin' come!" 

Jim couldn't reply with any words, only moan in sympathy. He felt Harvey's hips stuttering, warmth inside him. Harvey kept thrusting, watching Jim's hand speeding along until he also came, spurting all over his stomach. "Fuck!" 

The rush of feeling went right to Jim's head, completely wrecked from such a strong orgasm. He was dizzy, pressing his hands to his face, not even caring that one was sticky. 

"Still drunk?" Harvey asked, concerned, swiping a hand through Jim's hair. 

"Just, it was... intense," Jim answered, sighing. He slid his hands down by his sides, his body aching all over as Harvey gently pulled out. 

"Yeah." Harvey kissed him lightly, rolling over onto his back with a happy sigh. 

Jim was quiet, staring up at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath. Several beats of silence passed, and still he gazed upwards, his expression unreadable. 

"You okay?" Harvey frowned. 

"Yeah, I mean, I'm just a little sore-" 

"Not that," Harvey said, but then he seemed to reconsider for a moment. "I mean, okay. That, too. I know we went a little hard. But I was more thinkin' about what you didn't wanna talk about earlier? I mean, I got a pretty good idea..." 

Jim frowned, fidgeting slightly. 

"Or do you still not wanna talk?" Harvey asked softly, hopping up from bed to grab Jim's t-shirt from the floor. He used it to clean them up, earning himself a small scowl from Jim, smirking as he climbed back into bed. 

"First of all," Jim responded sternly, "We do have clean towels here. Second of all... It's just... This is the first Thanksgiving without him." He didn't need to specify who; clearly it was his father's absence that was so missed. "It just feels weird. All the things we used to do together, all the little traditions? They're all gone now." 

Harvey laid back down Jim, kissing his forehead. "You can still keep doin' them, you know. I mean, it sucks balls he ain't here, but you can still do all that shit." 

"It's not the same," Jim whispered quietly, his tone tinged with sadness. 

"Well," Harvey began, thinking carefully. "Why don't you just start some new ones? Like, new traditions?" 

Jim raised a brow. 

"Make up something new, just for you!" Harvey was thoughtful, exclaiming suddenly, "Like rough sex and pies! Boom, new Thanksgiving tradition for James Gordon." 

Jim laughed out loud, grinning. "That's a hell of a new tradition." He pressed close, kissing Harvey sweetly. "You know... The pie was really good. That might not be a bad idea. Every year, I'll try a new pie." 

Harvey was dismayed, scoffing, "Hey, but the sex was really good, too!" 

"But the pie was awesome!" Jim asserted, grinning slyly. "The sex... well..." 

Harvey snorted, playfully punching Jim's shoulder. "Keep that up, and you ain't getting any of my goodies; baked or of the dick variety!" 

"Okay, okay," Jim snickered, "The pie was pretty tasty, but your goodies are my favorite." 

"Damn right." 

"Thanks, Harvey." Jim smiled softly. 

"It's my job, right? Make my boyfriend feel better." 

"Your boyfriend loves you very much," Jim teased, his smile warmer now. How had he ever survived without Harvey. 

"Your boyfriend loves you, too," Harvey sighed, batting his eyelashes, "Even when you make stupid faces just because I used your shirt as a come rag." 

"You're so gross! It was my shirt!" 

"But you're clean now!" 

"My shirt isn't!" Jim broke off into a fit of giggles, not able to help himself. Harvey was laughing with him, and the moment felt perfect. Jim blinked, jerking up as an idea began to form. "You should be a chef!" 

"What?" Harvey laughed, sitting up to open Jim's window so he could sneak a cigarette. 

"Don't you have any plans for when you graduate?" Jim demanded. "Culinary school! You should go be a chef! And make more pies!" 

Harvey laughed, shaking his head. "Now I know you're still drunk." 

"No! Seriously! You could do it!" Jim was excited, not even caring that Harvey was lighting up in his room. "I am totally serious. And maybe still a little drunk. But mostly serious. Seee-reee-ous." 

Harvey didn't want to burst Jim's bubble, but he didn't have any intentions of going to college after high school. He had to graduate so he could get a better job to help his mother. That had always been his plan. He already had his mind set on working at one of Gotham's factories. The jobs required a high school diploma, and although it was shit work, they paid a hell of lot more than the mart did. College was not an option for him, never had been. 

Even if he sort of wanted to... 

Nah, fuck it. It was too fucking expensive, and his grades were total shit. He did love to cook, and he had to admit the idea of learning to be a chef had a certain appeal. Chefs probably made good money, but there was no way he'd ever get in anywhere. He immediately dismissed the idea, exhaling a long drag of smoke, frowning. College was for bright kids like Jim, not bums like Harvey. 

"Harvey, are you hearing me?" Jim poked him. 

"I'm hearing that you seriously want me to fuck you again right now?" Harvey grinned. 

"Ugh, no!" Jim protested, but then he seemed to think about it. "I mean, maybe in a minute. But, hey! What if you got that scholarship thingie? The contest? It's for an arts school, they probably have a cooking program!" 

Harvey was getting annoyed, shaking his head. Yeah, fucking right. He had about as much of a chance at winning that contest as he did getting struck by lightning. Actually, no, still better odds of the lightning taking him out. 

He knew that Jim meant well, but it wasn't a discussion he was in the mood to have. 

"How about we stop talking about school," Harvey suggested, flicking his cigarette out the window, "And find something else to talk about? Like, oh, I dunno..." He playfully pounced on top of Jim, teasing, "How thankful I am to have such a super hot boyfriend?" 

"Oh, no," Jim huffed, "You're just trying to derstract me. Dis-traccct." He gasped as Harvey kissed along his throat, feeling the faintest hint of teeth. 

"Is it working?" 

"No. I mean it, Harvey. You should enter. If you don't, I'm, mmm." Jim moaned. Damn, Harvey really liked kissing that spot right there at his collarbone, and it felt really, really good. "If you don't, I will do it for you!" 

"How's about I just do you," Harvey offered, gnawing lightly. 

"Harvey," Jim gasped, his body lighting up all over, feeling too hot, too stimulated. It was so intense already, moaning when Harvey's hand slipped down between his legs and grabbed his cock. He was still so sensitive from coming earlier, writhing under Harvey's skilled fingers. "Fuck!" 

"We will, you know, in a second," Harvey taunted, slowly stroking Jim, loving how easy it was to get him worked up. He kept on, making Jim squirm and buck until he couldn't take it any more. 

"Please..." Jim begged, his eyes wide with need. "Harvey..." 

Harvey smiled, tilting his head back to capture Jim's lips in a sweet kiss. "Come on, baby," he purred, "You know I'm gonna take care of you. Round two, comin' right up!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, this chapter ended up being way long, but I hope you enjoyed it! Debating whether I'm going to carry this series to New Year's or have it with their graduation. I mean, 43 chapters already. This is a damn novel. XD


	44. Plotting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anniversary of Jim's father's death has arrived, but his mother and Harvey have a plan to keep his spirits up.

The day had finally arrived; it had been exactly one year since his father had died. 

Jim Gordon stared down at the grave, trying to quantify the surge of emotions rushing through him. He was sad, angry, and empty all at once. The hollow sensation was the most painful. He didn't feel grounded at all, fearful that a strong wind could blow by and sweep him away. 

The little black cloud was hanging over his shoulder once more, his vision fogging over with tears. The last time they were here at the cemetery was for the funeral, he recalled. He hadn't visited since then, noting the granite headstone his mother had ordered was now in place bearing his father's name. It didn't look real to him, as if he could reach out and push it right over. Maybe it would float away, too. Maybe this was all still a bad dream. He did finally touch it, finding the stone cold and unyielding. 

He drew his hand back, frowning softly. So much had happened in a year, so much he wished his father had been around to see. It still hurt when he thought of him, but it was different than it once was he realized. When he ate his father's favorite pasta now, it actually made him happy. It reminded him of how his father always used to dump half a container of Parmesan cheese over it all despite his mother's protests. Or while watching his favorite movies, he would imagine his father sitting beside him, silently moving his lips because he knew every word. 

Doing these things did remind him that was he still gone, and yet it let him appreciate the moments that they did have together. These were all memories he could hold onto forever. The sun was peeking back out through his little black cloud, sighing heavily. It was hard, it would always be hard, but he felt more sure that he could keep moving forward than before. 

Besides, he wasn't alone anymore. He had Harvey. He didn't have to drift away. 

Jim felt his mother's hand on his shoulder, grateful for her touch to also help anchor him in place. He kneeled, setting the flowers down that they had brought. He noticed a few graves over where another family had left flowers for their loved one. 

The flowers had dried up, leaving nothing but a brown husk. The flowers had died, and he felt a fresh wave of sadness despite his resolve. The black cloud was creeping back in. The flowers he had put on his father's grave were going to die, just like his father had died, just like someday his mother would die, and so would he, and even Harvey- 

His mother gave him a reassuring squeeze, asking softly, "You all right, Jim?" 

"Yeah," he replied, blinking out of his daze. He desperately wished Harvey was here with him. He forced a weak smile, hugging her close. "Yeah, I'm okay. 

She held him tenderly, running her fingers through his hair. They stood like that for several long moments, breaking the silence when she asked, "Is there anything you want to say?" 

_I miss you, I think about you all the time; but maybe not as often as I should. There are these brief, crazy moments where I actually forget you're gone. I think I still smell your pipe sometimes, or hear your voice, and I know it's fucking nuts. I love you. I wish you were here to tell me what to do, how to be a good man, how to keep moving forward. I wish you were still here..._

Jim didn't even realize he was crying so hard until his mother was dabbing his tears with her handkerchief, smiling sadly. It was such a relief to let all of that go, taking a deep breath as he began to calm down. "I'm okay," he said, sniffing, "I think I'm okay. You?" 

"I'm okay, too," she replied, her eyes glistening with tears. They held each other a bit longer until the cold began to bite too sharply, leaving the cemetery and driving home in a comfortable silence. His heart hurt, but not as much as he had expected it to. He thought of all the good times he'd had with his father, trying to focus on the happy memories instead of lingering on the knowledge he would never be able to create any new ones. 

He thought of Harvey again and his suggestion of creating new traditions. Rough sex and pies, ha! He couldn't help but smile, longing for his boyfriend's affections. Jim had taken the day off from school, but a part of him wished that he had gone. At least then he would have been able to see Harvey today. 

But it was Friday, he recalled hopefully, and Jim knew Harvey didn't have to work tonight. He made up his mind to call him after school to see what he was doing. He wasn't sure if his boyfriend might already have plans, but he wanted to try. The only thing he could think about was the safety and love he felt in Harvey's arms wrapping around him. 

Jim reached for his mother's hand as they stepped inside the elevator at their apartment building, sighing, "I love you, Mom." 

"I love you, too," she said, kissing his forehead sweetly. Her smile was warm, something mischievous in her eyes that instantly told Jim she was up to something. 

Jim frowned as they got off on their floor. He was about to ask his mother what was going on when he saw Harvey Bullock standing patiently outside their door. He laughed, exclaiming in surprise, "Harvey?" 

This was the second time Harvey had magically appeared in his time of need; this couldn't be a coincidence. 

"Hey, good lookin'," Harvey grinned, waving, "Hey, Mrs. G!" 

"Hello, Harvey," she greeted, swinging an arm around Jim's shoulders. 

"What are you doing here?" Jim asked, astonished. "Why aren't you in class?" 

"School is closed today," Harvey replied, "They had rats. Big giant ones. Little buggers coming out of everywhere. Had to close down for the exterminators." 

Jim wrinkled his nose. Okay, that sounded totally bogus. 

"Harvey told me you guys have a very important photography assignment that you need to finish this weekend," his mother explained, giving Jim's shoulders an affectionate little pat. 

"What?" Jim stared awkwardly. They didn't have any photography homework. What was going on. 

"Yup," Harvey agreed, nodding. "Your mom called me to see what we had to do this weekend, so's I told her all about that big project we gotta do, Jimmy. You know, the one all about nature and animals." 

His mother and Harvey shared a sly smile, and Jim was completely lost. 

"Figured if you boys went out camping tonight, you would be able to finish it," his mother said with a shrug. "And Harvey has agreed to stop smoking in the house in exchange for me letting you go spend the night with him. For the project." 

"Yup," Harvey nodded. "Project." 

Jim was totally confused, stuttering, "What are you talking about? What pro-?" 

"Shut up, Jimmy," Harvey hissed. 

"But we don't have-" 

"Shut up," Harvey groaned. "You know, you would make a terrible criminal." 

Jim gazed helplessly up at his mother's smirk, then back to Harvey. Finally, a light bulb clicked on. Those sneaky... He actually laughed out loud. They had planned this behind his back to surprise him. He cleared his throat, trying to look serious now, nodding, "Right. _That_ project. Yup." 

"Oh, my freakin' God," Harvey sighed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Terrrrrible." 

Jim's mother chuckled softly, opening the door and ushering them both inside. "Go pack so you can get out there before it gets dark," she advised, shooing them towards Jim's room. 

Jim raced into his bedroom, pulling Harvey into a happy kiss as soon as the door shut behind them. "I can't believe you did this!" he giggled. 

"Nah, man!" Harvey shook his head, eagerly kissing him back. "It was all your mom. I wasn't kiddin' about her calling me. She was worried about you, I guess. You know, with today being today and all that shit. She cooked this up on her own." 

"Wow." Jim was impressed, and honestly quite touched. "That's so... sweet. And surprisingly devious." 

"Yeah, your mom is one crafty lady." 

"But what about the photography project bit?" 

Harvey snorted. "Plausible deniability. No parent wants to know their kid is runnin' off to fuck around in the woods. This way, she's happy pretending we're out there taking pretty little pictures for school." 

"Holy shit, that's good." 

"I know, right?" Harvey grinned, and smacked at Jim's ass. "Hurry up and fuckin' pack! It takes at least an hour to get out to the damn park." 

"Wayne National Park?" Jim immediately perked up. 

"That's the one." Harvey nodded. "Your mom told me you and your old man used to go. Me and my Ma used to go there, too. Before she got sick, you know. There's a pretty chill spot where we can park the truck, just camp right out in this little field. It's on the other side of the lake. Too bad it's so cold." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "We'll have to go back in the spring so we can go skinny dipping." 

Jim chuckled to himself, quickly gathering some clothes and throwing a bag together. "Somehow I doubt the cold will stop you." 

Harvey was thoughtful, saying, "Depends on how drunk I get." 

Jim finished packing, slinging his bag over his shoulder and giving Harvey a deep, passionate kiss. 

Harvey sighed contently, returning the affection happily. It was the kind of kiss that made toes curl, instantly lost in Jim's sweet lips. He pulled away, grinning dopily, breathlessly asking, "Damn, what was that for?" 

"Thank you," Jim said, smiling warmly, "For helping make what has been... a really hard day... into something really special." 

Harvey didn't answer at first, gazing adoringly down at Jim. He pressed close, kissing him softly. He shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. "I love you," he said simply, "I'd do anything for you." He smirked, not allowing the tender moment to last too long, swatting Jim's shoulder. "Now, you got your shit together? Good! Let's fucking go!" 

Jim laughed, taking Harvey's hand and hurrying back towards the front door. "Bye, Mom! I love you!" 

"Aren't you forgetting something?" his mother called out. 

"What?" Jim turned around to see his mother holding his camera out towards him. His face turned bright red, stuttering, "R-right! My camera!" 

"Might need that for your project," she replied, smiling sweetly. 

"Yup! Totally! Gotta have that! For, uh, you know, the project!" Jim grinned sheepishly. He grabbed his mother into a tight hug, saying sincerely, "I love you, Mom. So very much." 

"I love you, too," she replied, beaming. "Now, go! Have fun!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Camping adventures ahead! Woo!


	45. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim enjoy camping.

It was strange to be so far away from the lights and sounds of Gotham. The stars were bright, the sky was clear, and it was quiet. No smog, no sirens, no cars honking. It was beautiful and unnerving all at once. They had found the little field Harvey had described, parking right out in the middle with the lake behind them. 

Jim and Harvey had already set up the tent, and Jim got a small fire going. Harvey had tried a few times, failed, and finally allowed Jim to take a crack at it. He had it started on his first attempt. 

"You really are a Boy Scout," Harvey teased, already on his seventh beer. Or was it his fourth. Eighth? He wasn't really counting. "I bet you can track deer and all that shit, too." 

"Maybe," Jim replied, his lips twisting into a little smirk. 

"That's fine. There's only one fire I'm worried about gettin' goin', and that's the one-" 

"Oh, don't," Jim groaned, laughing. He already knew where this was going. 

"-In your pants," came the suggestive finish, complete with eyebrow waggle. 

Jim snorted, sipping at his beer. Only his second of the evening; he had no intentions of trying to keep up with Harvey. 

Harvey pulled the tailgate of the truck down, sitting down and patting the space beside him. 

Jim hopped up next to him, snuggling close. He pressed his face against Harvey's neck, burying his cold nose into his warm skin. "Mmph. Thank you for this." 

"For letting you rub your cold, snotty nose all over me? Anytime." 

"No," Jim scolded. He swung his legs, watching his feet for a few moments. "For just... being you. Being here for me." 

"Well, duh," Harvey laughed, playfully bumping their shoulders together. "I'm kind of in love with you, you know." 

"Hmm, didn't love me much when we first met," Jim said with a smirk. 

"You didn't exactly make a great first impression," Harvey reminded him. "Spilled your drink on me, knocked all my shit on the floor, grabbed my ass..." 

"What? I did not!" 

"Then you tried to put your hand down my pants. I mean, you really couldn't keep your hands off of me. I tried to stop you, to protect myself-" 

Jim tackled Harvey into the back of the truck, playfully punching him as he laughed, "You are so full of shit! You _wish_ I had been all over you!" 

"Yeah, and?" Harvey snickered, raising his arms up to shield himself. He tried wiggling back away from Jim, but he pounced right back on top of him. Their legs still dangling off the tailgate of the truck, Harvey managed to grab Jim and switch their positions, pinning him down flat. 

Jim struggled, but Harvey wasn't budging. Jim grinned up at him, stealing a quick kiss. "You were a total asshole, you know." 

"Yeah, I know. And you were a stubborn little shit." 

Jim beamed proudly. "Your stubborn little shit," he teased, mocking Harvey's usual sentiment. 

Harvey smiled, leaning down and kissing him softly. "Damn skippy." 

Jim kissed him back, gently running his fingers through his hair. 

"Your nose is still all snotty," Harvey complained, but kept kissing him. 

"It's cold!" Jim giggled. 

"Well, hey, let's think of a way to warm you up," Harvey suggested, playfully bumping his hips down. 

Jim swatted at Harvey's side, feeling a tug in his stomach. Any other day, he was nearly insatiable. But tonight... His heart was too heavy to feel particularly amorous. 

Harvey must have seen something on Jim's face because he smiled, offering one last sweet little kiss before rolling off to lay beside him. He propped himself up on his elbow, ruffling Jim's hair. "Hey, if you don't wanna, you can tell me. I ain't gonna get mad." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah," Harvey promised. "Just don't be surprised if you wake up later, and I'm whackin' off next to you." 

Jim rolled his eyes, uncertain as to whether or not Harvey was actually joking. 

Harvey grinned, jumping out of the truck to grab fresh beers, handing one over to Jim when he returned. "Seriously, it's fine. I ain't that much of an asshole, you know?" 

"Thanks," Jim said, smiling softly. 

"Meh, you can make it up to me later," Harvey said with a shrug, winking. 

Jim rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. He was quiet for a long moment, lost in thought. "Do you believe in God, Harvey?" he asked suddenly, gazing up at the stars. 

"Fuck if I know. I guess?" Harvey blinked in surprise at the question, cracking open his beer and taking a long drink. Definitely not drunk enough for such a deep conversation. He stretched out beside his dear boyfriend, trying to give a serious answer. "I was raised Catholic, I guess I do." 

"Sometimes I don't know if I do," Jim replied softly, something in his voice sounding broken. "Like heaven. Do you think there's really a heaven?" 

Harvey frowned, sipping at his beer thoughtfully. "Sure. I mean, I hope that there's a hell for all the rotten ass people in the world to fry in. So, if there's a hell, I guess that means there's a heaven, too." He sipped at his beer again to give himself a few moments to think of something to say. "You uh... thinkin' 'bout your Dad?" 

"Yeah," Jim said softly. 

"Hey," Harvey said, reaching down to find Jim's hand. "If there's a heaven, I'm sure your Dad is totally fuckin' there, baby." 

"I never really used to think about stuff like that," Jim sighed, "Now, sometimes... it's all I can think about. Death. Dying. What happens to us, what will happen when I die. Will it hurt..." He hesitated, asking quietly, "Is that... weird?" 

"No," Harvey assured him, "I worry about that shit, too. I mean, not about me." He fidgeted, explaining after a moment, "But for Ma. You know, I worry about her. When, how, all that shit. Will she be okay where she's goin' after. It's not weird, Jimmy. Just... most people our age don't gotta worry about shit like that." 

"Yeah," Jim sighed. "I think that's why all my friends didn't get it. They worry about getting new shoes, who's going out with who, what to wear to prom... they don't realize how temporary all of this is." 

"That's because they're all a bunch of spoiled twats," Harvey snorted. 

"That, too," Jim chuckled. 

"See, you don't have to worry about that bullshit with me. I can't afford new shoes. Don't care about who's goin' out with anyone except you, and you're goin' with me, so fuck everybody else. And I'll go with you to prom butt ass naked." 

Jim laughed, grateful for the levity that came to naturally to Harvey. He grinned over at his boyfriend, asking slowly, "Wait... did you just say you're going with me to prom?" 

"Well, who else are you gonna go with?" Harvey griped, blushing. 

"You haven't asked me," Jim replied indignantly. 

"Christ, it's not a damn marriage proposal! It's just fucking prom! We're already fuckin', I'm pretty sure that means we're going to prom together." 

"What if I don't want to go?" Jim quipped. 

Harvey gave him a dubious look, drawling, "Oh, I know you wanna go. Don't even try that. It's senior fuckin' prom." 

"Maybe," Jim said, still trying for aloof. 

"Uh huh," Harvey snorted. 

Jim batted his eyes at Harvey expectantly, waiting patiently. 

"Oh, my fucking God," Harvey groaned in frustration. He reached out and grabbed Jim's hand, sighing exasperatedly, "Okay. James Worthington Gordon, will you please go to prom with me?" 

"Aw, Harvey," Jim said sweetly, "That's so nice of you to ask!" 

"So, you'll go with me?" 

"No," Jim replied flatly. 

Harvey took his hand back, smacking Jim's shoulder, laughing, "You fuckin' pain in the ass!" 

"You're... a pain in the ass," Jim stuttered, not able to come up with a smart retort. 

"Not right this second, you said you weren't in the mood," Harvey shot back. 

"Ulgh," Jim moaned in disgusted. "You're awful." 

Harvey grinned impishly, ruffling up Jim's hair. "Yup. But seriously, do you wanna or not?" 

Jim looked back up at the stars, thoughtful for a moment. His memories drifted to a family dinner he'd had while his father was still alive. It wasn't his birthday or any particularly special occasion, just dinner with his father and mother. Afterwards, they had sat around talking, laughing. 

He couldn't even remember how the subject came up, but his parents began discussing their experiences at school dances. A few were sweet, others embarrassing, but the one that stuck out was one his father had told about a pair of cufflinks he wore to his senior prom. 

They had belonged to his father, Jim's grandfather, and were passed along to him to wear for that very special night. His father had been so worried about losing them that he waited until the very last minute to put them on, right before walking into the school. 

But when he reached into his pocket, they were gone. He had been beside himself with worry, nearly missing the whole dance searching for them. He had tried to even remove the seat from his car, worried that they had fallen beneath it somehow. Turns out, there was a hole in his pocket, and he found them later that night on his bedroom floor. 

"See, that's why you need to go to prom at least once," his father had teased, bringing them out to give to him. "Just make sure you check your pockets for holes first." 

"Hey, they even have my initials on them!" Jim had laughed, looking over the cursive lettering the cufflinks were monogramed with. JWG, for Joseph Worthington Gordon, his grandfather's name and whose middle name had been given to him in that man's honor. 

"See? You're meant to have them!" his father had agreed. "You can wear them because I never had the chance." 

The words echoed in Jim's mind at present, all the more bittersweet because his father wouldn't have the chance to wear them ever again, to prom or anywhere else. He still had them at home in his dresser drawer. He had taken them out a few times, looked them over, but always returned them with the question of whether or not he'd ever wear them. 

Now he knew. 

Even though his father wasn't going to be here to see it, Jim was finally going to wear those cufflinks. He was going to prom with the love of his life, Harvey Bullock. 

Jim smiled warmly, snuggling close to Harvey as he sighed, "I would love to." 

Harvey kissed Jim's forehead, smirking confidently. "Good." 

"You're not going naked," Jim said after a moment, "You know that, right." 

"You're no fun." 

Jim's heart felt lighter now, grinning playfully as he bumped his hip against Harvey's. "Oh, yeah? Well, how about I finish this beer, and I'll show how much fun I am?" 

Harvey snorted, unimpressed, but there was a sly glint to Jim's eye as he looked him over that made his doubt his initial assumption. "Wait, about you talking about bangin'?" 

"Yes," Jim replied dryly. 

"I thought you didn't-" 

"I'm feeling better," Jim said, pressing a little closer, smiling bright. He kissed at Harvey's jaw, sliding his hand over his chest. 

"If you're sure," Harvey said, his eyes fluttering shut. 

"Positive," Jim assured him, nuzzling his mouth over Harvey's neck. 

"Well, how about we move this somewhere warmer?" Harvey snickered, cringing slightly. "Keep this up and we can use your damn snotty nose to lube up my dick." 

"Ulgh," Jim groaned, instantly repulsed. "You're so fucking disgusting." 

"I love you." 

"Love you, too. Asshole."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOO! Wonder what the next chapter will be. Smut. Because yes. Camping smut. 
> 
> Serious note about Jim's grandfather's name. I looked and I freakin' looked, and I was not able to find diddly squat about his family people's names (except his children, of course). In Gotham, his father's name is Peter, and Worthington sounds nice and vintage so I decided he was named after his granddaddy. So, yeah. I made it up.


	46. Beetle Bites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim have a lovely time in their tent.

Jim Gordon woke up in Harvey Bullock's arms, snuggled warm in their sleeping bag. It was early morning, he thought, judging by the faint chirping of birds and still dark sky peeking through the flaps of the tent. He stretched his legs, frowning as he heard the clatter of beer cans around his feet. Harvey had taken on the task of finishing all the beer he had brought with them. Jim had declined to assist him with this mission. 

There was a first time for everything, and last evening Jim finally had the experience of drunk sex. Or at least, sex with someone that was drunk while being sober. Harvey had been all over him, sloppy, more affectionate than usual, and neither one of them could stop laughing. It was sweet, fun, and Jim just knew he was covered in hickeys. 

They had finally passed out cuddled up together in Harvey's sleeping bag. 

Harvey was currently snoring quite loudly, his mouth hanging open, hair a complete mess. 

Jim thought he looked beautiful. He leaned close, pecking a quick kiss on his neck. He wrapped his arms around his middle, hugging him close. 

Harvey stirred, his snoring stuttering into a sleepy mumble, "Wah...?" 

"Good morning," Jim said, far too cheerful. 

Harvey groaned, snuggling in tighter as he protested, "It's way too early, shit. I'm going back to sleep." 

"Mmm, doesn't feel too early to me," Jim teased, reaching his hand down between Harvey's legs. "Are you sure you wanna go back to sleep." 

Harvey's eyes immediately opened, grinning crookedly at his dear boyfriend. "Sex?" 

"Yes, sex," Jim answered, laughing as they kissed. It was a tumbling match after that, trying to pull off enough clothes to get the deed done while staying nestled and warm in the sleeping bag. 

Harvey was trying to wrestle Jim on top of him, pleading, "Please, baby. It's cooold. And I'm still so sleepy." 

"So, you'll let me freeze instead?" Jim snorted. 

"Here," Harvey said, reaching over to grab Jim's unused sleeping bag. He unzipped it all the way, using it like a blanket to drape over his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss. "See... all better." 

Jim pouted as he grabbed the bottle of lube nearly lost in the sea of beer cans. He moved to straddle Harvey's hips as he got himself ready, grumbling, "Fine, just for a minute. Then we're switching." 

"Thank you, baby," Harvey purred, reaching down to line himself up, sighing happily as the head of his cock began to slip inside Jim. "God... you always feel so fucking tight..." 

Jim groaned softly, plastering himself over Harvey's chest, balancing his weight on his elbows as he pulled the sleeping bag up around himself. He rocked back slowly, gasping at the stretch as he pressed his hips all the down on Harvey's cock. They moaned together, panting as they both a took moment to breathe. 

"Fuck, you feel so good like this," Jim said, his fingers curling tight around the fabric of Harvey's shirt. 

"You, too, baby," Harvey praised, petting Jim's sides, gazing up at him reverently. There was no sweeter sight than his gorgeous boyfriend on top of him, those pretty blue eyes blown wide with lust. 

Jim was slow at first, adjusting to the position as he experimentally thrusted his hips back and forth. He tried pushing all the way down and rocking his body on Harvey's cock, writhing as he found an angle he really liked. 

Harvey was whispering all sorts of lewd encouragement, mumbling, "God, yes, ride my fuckin' dick, goddamn, fucking look at you, taking all of it so fucking good." 

Soon, Jim had forgotten all about the cold. All those dirty things were making him blush all over and his face was absolutely burning up. He was fucking himself hard on Harvey's cock, letting the sleeping bag slip from his shoulders as he propped himself up on his hands, desperate for more. He used the new leverage to roll his hips harder, his head falling back as he moaned. 

"Fuck, baby," Harvey grunted, his hands grabbing onto Jim's sides, tilting his pelvis up to catch just the right spot to make Jim cry out. He pushed Jim's shirt up so he could watch his stomach curling as he rode him, purring, "You are so goddamn sexy..." 

Jim whimpered at the compliment, crying out again when Harvey suddenly smacked his ass without any warning, staring down at him in shock and bewilderment. That was new. 

Harvey froze, his hand in the air as if he was about to pop him again, asking, "What? Not... not good?" He couldn't read the odd expression on Jim's face. 

"Not like that," Jim panted as inspiration took over. He rolled off of Harvey, getting on his hands and knees. "Come on. Your turn." 

"Oh, this I can do," Harvey said, eagerly scrambling to kneel behind him, his hands lovingly caressing over Jim's ass and hips. He grabbed his cock, slowly rubbing the head in tiny circles around his hole, admiring how slick and open he was. "So... Have you been a very bad boy, Jim? Do you like getting spanked?" 

"I like it when we actually have sex instead of talking about it," Jim bit back. 

"Oooo, feisty this morning," Harvey teased.

"Will you please... just... please?" Jim whined. The temperature in the tent felt like it had risen several degrees already, Jim barely noticing the cool air as he lifted his backside up. He buried his head down against the sleeping bag, wadding it up to use as a pillow. 

"Don't worry, baby," Harvey said, his tone loving now. "I'll take care of you." 

Jim barely had a second to take a breath before Harvey was pushing back into him, whimpering loudly. He yelped when Harvey popped his ass again, something about the burn that made him ache all over. "God..." 

"Fuck, Jim," Harvey sighed, his hand rubbing Jim's cheek to soothe the sting and squeezing tight. He began snapping his hips forward, letting himself fall into a steady rhythm. The air felt so hot now, silent except for their breathing and the quiet smacking of flesh, occasionally punctuated with Jim's soft cries. 

Jim rocked his body back against Harvey's, spreading his legs and arching his ass up into each thrust, hugging the sleeping bag tightly. He moaned when Harvey's palm caught his ass again, pushing back against him as he demanded, "Please... more." 

Harvey spanked him again, loving the way it made Jim moan and his ass clench around his cock. He had some ideas of his own brewing now, purring, "Hey. Move. Down, like, like on your tummy." 

"Huh?" Jim whined as he felt Harvey moving away, glancing at him behind his shoulder. 

"Like this, baby," Harvey said, using his body to help press Jim into position, flat on his stomach. He draped himself on top of him, using his elbows to prop up some of his weight, his hips rolling to thrust deep and slow into Jim. 

Jim's head tilted back, groaning loudly at the new angle, loving the intimacy and the press of Harvey's body against him. "God, Harvey... mmm." 

Harvey bowed his head, kissing and sucking along Jim's neck and shoulder, fucking him a little harder. "Yeah, baby, fuck, it's good." 

Jim was falling apart quickly, trying to grab the sleeping bag, the ground, anything to anchor himself as he got lost in Harvey's slams. He managed to get a hand back in Harvey's hair, fingers squeezing tight, sobbing, "God, Harvey! Fuck, please don't stop!" 

"I won't, I got you, baby," Harvey panted, sucking eagerly at Jim's throat, muffling his moans against his flesh. He was true to his word, fucking him hard all the way through to the finish line. When Jim came undone beneath him, Harvey was right behind him, their bodies bucking and writhing together. Harvey flopped on top of Jim, limp and content, sighing, "Fuck, that was awesome."

"Harvey," Jim groaned. 

"What, baby?" 

"Get off... me!" 

"Right! Sorry!" Harvey rolled off, grinning sheepishly. He slung his arm across Jim's back, kissing his shoulder. "So," he panted, grinning crookedly over at Jim. "Pretty fun camping trip, right?" 

Jim laughed, nodding in agreement. "The best." He rubbed his neck where Harvey had been using him as a chew toy, asking with a grimace, "How bad is it?" 

"Well..." Harvey grinned sheepishly. "It ain't good." 

"Damn it, Harvey!" 

"Hey! We'll just tell your mom it was bugs." 

"Bugs." 

"Yeah! We're out in the woods, we'll say you got ate up by bugs." 

"Bugs," Jim repeated, rolling his eyes. 

"Really big ones," Harvey said with a sly wink. 

"Ulgh," Jim groaned, laughing. "Big bugs with red hair?" 

"Yup! The highly feared Bullock beetle," Harvey said, nibbling on Jim's arm. "Known to prey on sweet young things such as yourself..." 

"You're an idiot!" Jim snickered, swatting Harvey away.

Harvey cackled happily, pulling Jim into his arms, kissing him sweetly. "But ya' love me." 

"Only out of pity," Jim teased. He kissed the tip of Harvey's nose, laughing, "I mean, look at you. You're a mess." 

"Yup," Harvey agreed. "Fuckin' train wreck." 

They laughed together, their giggles smothered by each other's lips as they kissed again. Jim tangled his fingers in all that pretty red hair, sighing as Harvey caressed his stomach and hips. "I love you," he said softly, "Thank you... for this. I needed this. To get away." 

Harvey smiled gently, replying, "I love you, too." He looked serious for a moment, the expression out of place on his usually jovial face. "Look. All that shit with your old man is still gonna be there waiting for you when we get back, y'know. But just know, you ain't gotta go through it alone. I'm here, baby." 

Jim's lips twitched in a sad smile. He didn't know what he did to deserve someone as sweet as Harvey. Under the gruff exterior and all the layers of crude humor, he was convinced there was no one else in the world that had such a good heart. "Thank you." 

"Anything for you, baby," Harvey promised him, kissing him once more before he knew they had to clean up. Plus, it was starting to get cold again. He groaned, sitting up and pushing some beer cans out of his way. 

Jim didn't want to move yet, pulling the sleeping bag over himself, pouting. "I'm not ready to go yet." 

"Sorry, gotta take shithead the truck back at some point," Harvey sighed. "Besides, we need to take some pictures for the uh, ahem, project." 

"Right. The fake project my mother will probably expect real photos for." Jim frowned, perking up as he suggested, "You could take some. Maybe try to get something really neat to turn in for that scholarship-" 

"Hey, hey," Harvey cut him off quickly, scowling softly. "Thought that conversation was over." 

"That conversation was never finished," Jim shot back. 

Harvey groaned, shaking his head. "We've had such a good time, can we please... just not?" 

Jim frowned, but nodded, saying, "Fine. But we are gonna talk about it." 

"Before or after we go skinny dipping?" 

"We are not going skinny dipping," Jim responded flatly. "It's too damn cold." 

"Not really much incentive for me to talk about it then, huh? And I think those damn Bullock beetles are coming back..." Harvey grinned wide. 

"Oh, no," Jim laughed, pulling the sleeping bag as tightly as he could around himself. "No more fucking hickeys, Harvey!" 

Harvey was already on top of him again, laughing as he tried to get back under the sleeping bag. They wrestled around for a few moments before Harvey was victorious, soon wrapped back up in his boyfriend's gorgeous body and leaving another love mark high up on his neck. 

Even as they lay cuddling together in the aftermath, putting off their inevitable departure just a bit longer, Jim was still thinking about the scholarship. He didn't understand why his boyfriend was so against it, and he had already decided he was not going to let this go. He would make sure Harvey entered, even if he had to do it himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy. Look, the smut fairy visited!


	47. Paving the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say about the road to hell...

The holidays were fast approaching, and that meant winter break was going to be here soon. James Gordon was excited, even looking forward to it. He was not facing Christmas with the same sense of dread as he had before. He was happy, and while he still missed his father terribly, he knew he could get through this. 

After all, now he had Harvey. They had made it through Thanksgiving and the anniversary of his father's passing together. Christmas was going to be a damn breeze by comparison. He couldn't imagine any part of his life without Harvey now, already starting to think about a future for them beyond school. Most of his daydreams he kept to himself, afraid of upsetting his boyfriend. 

But still, it was nice to think about. 

They were arm in arm, strolling through the hallways at school as they headed to photography class, Jim lost in thought. He knew Harvey was resisting any possibility of going to college after graduation, all that talk about having to work, but Jim still wanted something better for his boyfriend. 

After all, Harvey's dad was back in the picture for better or worse. He could help Harvey take care of his mother and finally give him the chance to be free. Jim knew how much Harvey loved her, but he deserved the opportunity to live his own life. 

"Earth to Jim," Harvey's teased, breaking into his thoughts. "You okay?" 

"Huh? Sorry!" Jim shook his head. "Just thinking." 

"Anything fun?" 

"Uhm, thinking about Christmas," Jim fibbed, blushing. 

"Uh huh," Harvey said, seeing right through him but not pushing. "What are you and your mom doin'?" 

"She wants me to go with her to visit her parents," Jim grumbled, "But I'll be back before New Year's for sure! Maybe we can at least hang out for that?" 

"We'll figure it out," Harvey said nonchalantly, not wanting to commit just yet. He had been considering trying to pick up overnight shifts down at the docks again, and he didn't want to get Jim's hopes up. 

"You know the point of a break is to actually take a break," Jim said with a knowing smile. 

"When I can actually fuckin' take one, you'll be the first to know," Harvey laughed. 

They arrived at class and got settled in, Mr. Groat giving their latest project grades back and preparing them for their next exam for the rest of the period. 

Jim was beaming to see that he had gotten an A, as usual. He grinned and gave Harvey a little nudge when he saw his boyfriend had actually managed to score a B. True, he had probably cheated off of him, but he was still proud. 

When class was drawing to a close, Mr. Groat was sure to remind them, "And please don't forget! Deadline for the Wayne Foundation Photography Award! This Friday! Applications are on my desk." 

The bell rang, and Jim was quick to snag two of the applications. Harvey groaned loudly in anticipation and headed right to the door. 

Mr. Groat smiled at Jim, saying, "Can't wait to see what you submit, Mr. Gordon." 

"Thanks," he said with a grin, hurrying out into the hall to catch up with Harvey. He knew exactly what photograph he wanted to turn in, but first he needed to ask. His boyfriend was patiently waiting for him, draping an arm around his shoulders as they moved down the hall. 

"So... Do you remember that photo I took of, uhm, you and your mom?" Jim asked shyly. 

"The one you took without me knowin' about it and super pissed me off? That one?" Harvey asked dryly. 

"Yeah..." Jim frowned. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. 

Harvey sighed, quirking a brow. "Let me guess. You wanna use it for the stupid scholarship contest?" 

"Well, I was thinking about it, but I wanted to ask. And it's probably not-" 

"Go ahead," Harvey grunted, pulling away and crossing his arms over his chest. 

Jim blinked. "Wait. Are you serious." 

"Yeah, fucking do it. See if I care." 

"Okay, because it sounds like you do care, and you're sort of confusing me." 

"Jim, you were probably gonna do it anyway," Harvey groaned, "Why bother asking me? You've told me how much you liked that stupid thing. And it is... it is a good photo. All that moving, emotional crap. So, stop bullshitting me and turn it in." 

"Really?" Jim hugged Harvey tightly, gasping, "Ah, thank you!" 

Harvey rolled his eyes, mumbling, "You'd better fucking win. Ya' jerk." 

Jim fidgeted for a moment, asking slowly, "So... what about you?" 

"Nuh uh," Harvey grunted, swatting at Jim's ass. "Not having this talk." 

"But Harvey," Jim protested, holding up the other application towards him. "You could just try-" 

"Jim!" Harvey suddenly snapped, pushing away from him. "It's not fucking worth it, okay? It's not worth gettin' my fuckin' hopes on some bullshit dream I can't have, okay? Just fucking stop it! Please!" 

Jim was stunned into silence for a few seconds, stuttering, "I'm sorry, Harvey..." 

Harvey sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat. "I really love you, Jim. But sometimes, you really just don't get it. I'm tired of having the same fucking conversation with you over and over, like you expect something to change." He tilted his head when he heard the bell ring, giving Jim a quick kiss on the cheek. "Look... fuck. I'll see you tonight on my break, okay? I love you." 

"Love you," Jim replied, frowning as he watched Harvey dart off. He sighed, the rest of the day dragging by in a blur. He wanted to help his boyfriend, but every time he tried it just seemed to piss him off more. 

By the time he got home, Jim's thoughts were even more conflicted. He found the photo and began to fill out the application, pouting quietly to himself. 

Harvey was such a bright light, and Jim hated that he was really going to let himself waste away in some factory, scraping by to make ends meet. College would mean a real job with real money to help take care of his mother; why couldn't Harvey see that? 

Jim toyed with the end of the pen, staring down at the paper in front of him. 

An idea suddenly came to him, smiling mischievously to himself. It was perfect, it was brilliant, and if this actually worked Harvey might strangle him. 

Jim was actually a little nervous. He had never done anything quite like this, and yes, it was a bit dishonest. But he wanted his boyfriend to have the best chance for a bright future. He loved him more than anything, and he hated that Harvey was too afraid of failing to bother trying. 

At the bottom of the application, he took a deep breath and wrote a name... 

_Harvey Bullock_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Okay! So, I'm a wee bit behind, and I'm sure there are some continuity errors here and there. But, hahaha, the end is in sight. Including the epilogue, I believe we're looking at 55 chapters.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for all the love and comments. I have loved writing this fic, and I can't wait to finally finish it! <3


	48. Merry Christmas, Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after Christmas brings some unwelcome surprises for the boys.
> 
> Smuts and severe angst ahead. <3

James Gordon didn't dare bring up the scholarship or college again, letting the days pass to their winter break peacefully. He loved Harvey so much, and he wanted a future with him. He wanted his boyfriend to be happy, to do something wonderful with his life, and he hoped he would be with him to see it happen. 

Jim could already feel the months ticking down towards graduation, and he was anxious to finally get his life started. His real life, adventuring out into the world, and making something of himself. He still wasn't sure what he wanted to do yet, but there a definite need to attend college. 

Wasn't that the next step? 

Graduate high school, then go to college. After that came marriage and family, and happily ever after. Everything was supposed to fall into place. 

Right? 

Jim wasn't sure what his happy ending was going to be, but he knew he wanted to find it with Harvey. That at least he was certain of. He knew his boyfriend was distancing himself whenever he tried to discuss the future, but Jim was determined to get him to talk about it. He loved Harvey more than anything in the world. He was going to find a way to help him. 

The scholarship was a long shot, but Jim was hopeful. If Harvey won, he'd be out of excuses. He'd have to go to college then. 

While they didn't get to spend Christmas together or much time in between, the following day was all theirs. Jim was ridiculously excited. It had felt like forever since he had seen Harvey, and he had missed him terribly. 

Harvey had insisted on not exchanging gifts on the grounds he couldn't reciprocate. Jim didn't even care. Being able to spend some alone time with his boyfriend was more than enough of a gift as far as he was concerned. 

Jim's mother was out shopping the clearance sales and Harvey came over to hang out. He was exhausted, having worked every night down at the docks and taking shifts during the day for Mrs. O'Connell. When Jim pounced on him at the door, all the aches and pains seemed to melt away, smiling softly. 

"Hey," Jim sighed happily, squeezing Harvey tight. 

"Hey, yourself," Harvey purred, kissing his boyfriend sweetly. The door was barely closed behind him before Jim's hands were tangling into his hair and his tongue was in his mouth. 

Harvey groaned loudly, grabbing Jim's waist, sighing happily. "Fuck, I missed you." He started walking Jim backwards, unbuttoning his pants as they went, trying to guide them towards the nearest flat surface. 

"I missed you, too," Jim sighed, laughing as Harvey pushed him towards the couch. They tumbled down together, clothes getting tugged and pushed out of the way as they kissed. It was perfect, tangled up on the sofa, the Christmas tree glittering beside them. 

Jim managed to get his pants and briefs off, moaning sharply as Harvey's hand snaked down between his legs. He had missed his boyfriend's touch so terribly. 

When Harvey's slick fingers pressed into him, Jim hissed and cried out. "God, Harvey!" he whimpered, clinging to his broad shoulders. 

"I got you," Harvey soothed, kissing his jaw gently. His fingers moved slowly, with purpose, curling to make the most beautiful noises leave Jim's lips. 

Jim's hips jerked, whining shamelessly at the burn and the pleasure that followed. It had been so long, and he hadn't realized how much he needed this, needed Harvey. He stuck a hand down between them, grabbing Harvey's cock. "Please?" 

Harvey grunted, gasping as Jim squeezed him. He had planned to draw this out, to take his time and really leave Jim a screaming mess. After all, he hadn't been able to get his boyfriend a present, but he could give him several memorable orgasms. 

Jim squeezed him again, and Harvey knew he couldn't wait either. Okay, maybe he'd do more for round two. He was quickly fumbling with the lube, panting and eager as he got himself ready. 

Jim grinned when Harvey threw one of his legs up on his shoulder, savoring the few breaths of anticipation before he felt his cock rubbing up against his hole. "I love you," he sighed, tracing a thumb over Harvey's freckled cheek. 

Harvey smiled, warm as sunshine, replying, "I love you, too. Merry Christmas, baby." 

"Merry Chris-oh! God!" Jim wailed as Harvey began to push inside of him without any warning, gasping. The couch squeaked beneath them in protest, Jim staring dumbly up at Harvey as he thrusted inside of him. "Too much, fuck, baby," he pleaded, nails digging into Harvey's shoulders. 

"I've got you," Harvey said, pressing forward and forcing Jim's knee to his chest. He slowed down, moved his hips patiently as he waited for Jim to get adjusted. "Breathe for me, baby... I got you. I ain't never letting go." 

"Ooo-oh, fuck," Jim gasped, his eyes glistening with tears as Harvey's cock filled him up. The angle was almost unbearable, his legs already trembling from sensation. He was grateful for Harvey being so patient because he thought he was going to break at any second. 

Harvey's cock stretched him out, plunging harder with every thrust. Jim was lost to it, not able to focus on any else except the burn and the friction, groaning loudly. "Fuck, fuck!" he moaned, his body finally relaxing and letting Harvey all the way inside. 

"There, baby," Harvey purred, kissing Jim's forehead. "There you go..." He held Jim close, an arm slipping up under his shoulders as he began to move his body, his hips snapping forward with more pressure, groaning in spite of himself. 

Harvey wasn't usually as vocal as Jim in bed, but whether it was the time apart or realizing how much he truly cared for this boy, he couldn't stop himself from being so expressive. 

"Fuck, mmmmm, God, baby. You feel so fucking perfect," he whined, crying out at a particularly deep thrust and kissing him as best as he could. "I wanna keep fucking you forever. I love you, for fuckin' ever." 

"I love you," Jim sobbed at the weight of those sweet words, fingers dragging down Harvey's back, clinging to him like a lifeline. 

"Fuck, I love you so much," Harvey panted, snapping his hips even faster now. He kissed Jim's knee, shifting his weight to grab his cock and started quickly jerking him off. "Come on, Jimmy... wanna see you fuckin' come." 

"Harvey!" Jim wailed frantically, squirming beneath him. He couldn't last, it wasn't fair, whimpering desperately. He hadn't even realized Harvey was coming until he felt a rush of warmth inside of him, crying out in surprise. "Fuck!" 

"Come on, baby," Harvey pleaded, trying to keep the rhythm going despite his spent cock, stroking Jim feverishly. 

"Harvey!" Jim moaned his name like a prayer, the pressure building inside finally snapping and a flood of pleasure washing over him. His hips bucked up into Harvey's hand, coming all over himself, back curling off the cushions as he shook. He was smiling, gasping happily, "Mmm... Harvey." 

"Uh huh," Harvey sighed, fairly pleased with himself. He shifted away, pulling his cock out and promoting them both to groan softly. "Sorry, don't wanna squish you," he laughed, stealing a kiss and moving to sit up on the edge of the couch. 

Jim stretched out, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, positively glowing. Harvey's hand had reached for his, giving it a gentle squeeze. He gazed up at the gorgeous redhead, smiling sweetly. 

Maybe it had just been the heat of the moment, but something Harvey had said stuck out in Jim's mind. He bit his lip, debating whether or not he should say something. Oh, he couldn't help himself. 

"Harvey?" Jim asked quietly. 

"Yeah?" 

"You really wanna be with me forever?" 

"You know I fuckin' do," Harvey said, frowning. He turned his head, studying Jim's face carefully. The glittering lights from the tree caught the wrinkles of his boyfriend's furrowed brow, making him look older and yet somehow more beautiful. "What is it?" 

"What if I didn't want to stay in Gotham?" Jim asked slowly, his teeth anxiously worrying his lower lip. 

Harvey's frown deepened, his heart lurching uncomfortably in his chest. "What do you mean, like... move to Blüdhaven? What are you talkin' about here?" 

"No! Like, out of the state, out of the country!" Jim said, sitting up suddenly. "Like, travel the world. You know, see what's out there. Eat all the different food, see all the crazy things... I just... My dad spent all of his life here, and he always used to talk about the places he wanted to go. Places he never got to see. I really wanna go. With you." 

Harvey shook his head, his stomach beginning to turn. He knew exactly where this was going, and it was nowhere fuckin' good. 

"I started working on my college applications this week, and I was looking at Austin, at Central City, all these other places-" 

"Places that are really, really far from here?" Harvey snorted. He sighed, reaching for his boxers and pants. He knew this conversation was going to happen one way or another, but why did it have to be now. He had wanted this to last a little longer. 

Jim looked a little stung, frowning as he watched Harvey get dressed. "Well, yeah. That's the idea. Get out of here and start a real adventure." 

"Yeah, you have fun with that," Harvey chuckled bitterly, giving him a wry smirk. "Send me some postcards." 

"But Harvey," Jim breathed, "I want you to come with me. You said forever, and I want that. I wanna be with you! We can go see the world together!" 

"But Jim," he mocked, imitating Jim's breathy tone. "I fuckin' can't." 

Jim was frantic now, reaching for Harvey's hands. "But your dad is here, right. Can't he help take care of her?" 

"You're talkin' about the fuckin' sperm donor who ran out on my ma the second she got sick? That fuckin' piece of trash? You want me to trust him to make sure she's clean and takes her meds, gets to all her appointments?" Harvey's voice was getting more angry by the second, his eyes narrowing. 

"I just thought... you deserve to be happy," Jim said, struggling to find the right words. 

"Some people don't get fuckin' happy," Harvey bit back, immediately losing his temper. "Some of us gotta live in the real world, and it fuckin' sucks ass. You've spent all of your winter break on your butt, gettin' to unwrap presents and fill out your little college applications. 

"You know what I've been doing? Busting my ass! Working two jobs, trying to get enough money to pay for my ma's goddamn cancer medicine! Because my father, the one you think is so great for some mentally irregular ass reason, blows all his damn money on booze or at the goddamn tables!" 

"Harvey," Jim squeaked softly, seeing now that he had made a serious error. But it was too late to take back, and Harvey raged on. 

"Yeah, sometimes we all get to pretend to be happy for a little while! Maybe for a few months, a few weeks, but it always goes away. Nothing real ever fucking lasts." Harvey sighed, his shoulders drooping, anguish winning out over his rage. "And I guess our little while is over, huh." 

"What are you talking about?" Jim said, his heart thudding heavily. 

"You don't want to stay here, and I can't leave," Harvey said, throwing up his hands. "Are you that fuckin' naïve? What do you think is gonna happen after we graduate." 

"I don't know! That's, that's why we're talking about it! I know I want to go to college, I want to get out of here! And I really want you to come with me!" Jim's eyes were beginning to tear up, his lower lip quivering. "I love you, Harvey." 

Harvey was silent, his face like stone and completely unreadable. He knew what he had to do now, but fuck, he was dying inside even considering it. 

"Please say something," Jim pleaded. 

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," Harvey replied quietly, his eyes on the floor when he grabbed his shirt. 

"What?" Jim's eyes widened, reaching to latch onto Harvey's arm. "No, no. You don't mean that." 

"Did I stutter?" Harvey snapped, his gaze cold and hard when it met Jim's big blue eyes. He jerked away from him, standing up and sliding his shirt over his head, sighing, "This was gonna go down sooner or later. Ain't no point dragging it out any more."

"No!" Jim jumped to his feet, grabbing for his pants. He hurriedly pulled them on, barking back, "Wait! We still have the rest of the fucking school year, and I know you were just joking about postcards, but we could make it work! We could-" 

"Jim!" Harvey shouted, holding his hands out. "Just... stop. Okay? I'm not gonna just drag this along, thinkin' everything is gonna be okay when we both know it's not. You gotta go off and see the world, and I have to stay here, okay? That's it!" 

"I could go to school here in Gotham," Jim cried, his eyes pleading. "I don't have to go anywhere, I just, I love you, I want to be with you. You said forever, I want forever. I would give it up, just forget I even said anything about it. Harvey, please. Please. I'll do anything." 

Harvey's cold expression faltered, his lips curling into a sad smile. Even though it hurt like hell, he knew then he was making the right decision. If they stayed together, Jim would never leave Gotham. 

"Yeah, I know you would," Harvey said softly. 

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Jim demanded. 

Harvey was already moving to the door, putting on his jacket and shaking his head. 

"Come on," Jim cried, rushing after him and grabbing his arm. He took a page right out of Harvey's book, pushing him up against the wall. "Don't you dare, don't you fucking dare try to walk out on me! Please! Don't fucking leave!" 

Harvey was panting, wrecked as he tried desperately not to let how much this was hurting him, too. His hands came up to shove Jim away, but floundered on his shoulders, aching to kiss him one last time.

"Why are you doing this?" Jim croaked, his fingers pulling on the edges of Harvey's coat. "We just. we just made love, and... now you're breaking up with me?" 

Harvey took a deep breath, trying to steel his nerves. He had to do this. Like a bandaid, just rip it off and be done with it. "Yeah, we fucked on your couch," he said coldly, "We've had some real fun, Jimmy. It's been awesome screwin ' around and all that. But guess what? Now it's time to grow up." 

Jim wanted to hit him. He wanted to punch Harvey right in his stupid face. He couldn't mean a word of this. It just didn't make any sense. "But I love you-" 

"Good for you," Harvey snapped, glaring at him. 

Jim's heart was breaking and that cold, horrible way Harvey was looking at him right now made it all a hundred times worse. 

"Fuck you," was all Jim could manage, giving Harvey a rough shove before stepping away from him. "You're such a fucking asshole! God! Just... just fucking go!" 

Harvey hung his head, refusing to make eye contact and stalked towards the door. 

Jim collapsed on the floor, cradling his face in his hands as he began to cry. He whimpered, jumping as the door slammed shut, signaling Harvey's departure. He sobbed, his shoulders shaking as he tried to make sense of the last few minutes. Everything had been perfect and wonderful, but now Harvey had left him. 

Harvey had broken up with him. 

What the fuck had just happened. 

Forever had been theirs, and now it was gone in a blink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, I said it will have a happy ending. *flees* 
> 
> Eventually.
> 
> Maybe.
> 
> Yes. 
> 
> Trying to write as fast as I can so I don't leave you all hanging!!!


	49. And A Happy New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey rings in the New Year, and he has some big decisions to make.

Harvey Bullock had done a lot of terrible things in his short time on this planet, but nothing weighed as heavily on his soul as breaking Jim Gordon's heart. 

Jim, that smart and beautiful boy, a glowing light in the darkness of Gotham. Jim, who despite all the pain he'd suffered and the heavy cloud that followed him, still always fought to do the right thing. He was sweet, passionate, and Harvey hadn't deserved him for a fucking second. 

Harvey convinced himself that he had made the right decision. Jim was too good to waste away in Gotham and while Harvey didn't have a choice, Jim did. If they stayed together, Jim would let himself get stuck here, too. He loved him so much, and he couldn't bare the thought of him attending some crap city community college. Jim was meant to leave this shithole, to go off and share his beauty with the rest of the world. 

Harvey wasn't destined for much more than pushing a broom and cleaning up vomit. He'd already done the latter, cursing at the drunks who liked to get sick right outside the front door, diligently sweeping the aisles at Mrs. O'Connell's market. The docks were closed tonight for the holiday, so he had taken the night shift here. 

He was working himself to near exhaustion, trying everything to distract himself from thoughts of Jim. 

Like thinking about his billion watt smile, that adorable way he'd rub the back of his neck when he spoke, how his face would crinkle up when he was about to orgasm... 

Fuck. Harvey swept harder, threatening to peel up the tiles with the bristles of the broom. He glanced up at the television when he heard a roar of cheering, realizing he had lost track of the time, and it was already midnight. 

_Happy New Year, everyone! The ball has just dropped here in Gotham Square, and it's officially-_

Harvey blinked as the announcer's voice was cut short, the channel changed to a program about some device promising to eliminate stubborn tummy fat. Mrs. O'Connell looked sour, grumbling loudly, "Who cares. Another year gone, whooptie-do!" 

Harvey scowled, huffing, "Hey, I was watching that, you old hag!" 

Mrs. O'Connell waggled the remote defiantly, snapping back, "Bite me, pup. She who rules the roost, rules the remote." 

Harvey raised up his broom, narrowing his eyes. "One of these days, old woman... one of these days." 

"Bring it on, _bitch_ ," Mrs. O'Connell challenged. 

Harvey was so caught off guard by her reply that he burst into a loud fit of laughter, tears in his eyes. She was laughing with him, and he couldn't stop giggling. "Holy fuck," he wheezed, "I needed that." 

"Uh huh," she drawled, raising her brows. "Your face has look liked a damn cat's ass for days now. Lost your pretty little boyfriend, huh?" 

Harvey's laughter immediately faded, head down as he returned to sweeping. "I didn't lose him, okay. It's not like, oops, where did he go? Did I leave him in my pants pocket and he got washed? No, I fucking broke up with him." 

"You broke up with _him_?" the old woman spat in disbelief, shaking her head. 

"He's better off," Harvey snapped. 

"And you decided that, huh?" Mrs. O'Connell mused, leaning across the counter to peer curiously at him. 

"Well, yeah!" 

"Uh huhhh," she drawled, tapping her fingers idly, not convinced. 

"I am so not having this conversation with you," Harvey grumbled, sweeping along the counter, glaring at her. "But for your information, yes, it was the right thing to do. He kept trying to make this big stupid plan for us to run away to college together, planning out our fucking lives like he knows what's fuckin' best for me 'cause he's so stupidly perfect!" 

"Is that really so bad?" 

"No, but what the fuck. I can't go! You know I can't. I gotta take care of Ma, but see, he doesn't fucking get that. He thinks I can just leave her and jet off whenever I want. So, I told him I couldn't go, and then that dumbass says fine, he'll stay here."

Mrs. O'Connell looked confused. "Not seeing the problem." 

"Jim is smart. Real fuckin' smart. He deserves something so much better than the bullshit schools here in Gotham. He's got some real fucking talent, okay? He could really make something of himself if he went to some good, fancy school. If we stayed together, he wouldn't go. He would just rot away here with the rest of us trash. So, I dumped his ass." 

"So," she said slowly, quirking a brow. "You were angry because he wanted you to leave your mother and go off with him to college. You refused. He decides to stay here to be with you instead, and you break up with him?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Fuck, maybe it is a good thing you're not going. Higher education would be wasted on you because you're a damn moron." 

"Fuck off," Harvey sneered, tempted to throw the broom at her. 

"Harvey, listen to an old woman," she sighed, "Love doesn't come around every day. Especially a love like that." 

Harvey groaned, starting to protest, "But he -" 

"Hey! I'm not done talking," she snapped, holding up a finger. "You made the choice to stay here with your mother. You're a good boy, you really are, and I think the world of you for taking care of her the way you do. But your little boyfriend? If he wanted to stay in Gotham and waste all of his potential slummin' with you, that's his decision to make." 

"He deserves so much better," Harvey argued. 

"Yeah? So, what. It's not your place to take away his choice, darling boy. That's not fair to him. You didn't like it when he was trying to get you to leave your mom, yeah? I bet he didn't like it when you up and decided to piss on his decision and smash his heart into a zillion pieces." 

Harvey fell silent, staring down at the floor. 

"We always want what's best for the ones we love," she said, her tone more gentle now. "But sometimes we gotta compromise. Did you even bother asking what colleges he was interested in? There's a great one up in Metropolis, only a few hours away. Could go to school and still drive back to see your Ma on the weekends, just sayin'." 

"Yeah, and who's gonna take care of her during the week, genius?" Harvey snorted. 

"Well, that waste of flesh that fathered you is still hanging around, right? I know you don't like him being back, but maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Maybe it's a chance for you to get outta this place and be with your boy." She smiled softly, adding warmly, "You know that you deserve better than this shithole, too." 

Harvey didn't know what to say, fidgeting with the handle of the broom. 

"It's a brand new year, kiddo," she sighed, hobbling from behind the counter and giving Harvey a big hug. She patted his cheek, saying, "Stay in Gotham, don't stay in Gotham. Who the fuck cares. All I know is that you're a fucking moron if you don't try and fix your shit with that boy." 

She began to shuffle off, reminding him, "And don't forget to clean up the shitter before you go!" 

Harvey watched her leave wordlessly, trying to get his thoughts reined in as the hours dragged by. Mrs. O'Connell had given him a lot to think about. If his father really was willing to step up and help, maybe Harvey could go to school with Jim. It was at least worth looking into to see what colleges were within a reasonable driving distance from Gotham. 

Sure, it wouldn't be Austin or whatever, but at least it wouldn't be here. Compromise and all that shit, he thought to himself. His mother seemed pretty convinced that his old man was sticking around for good this time. 

Harvey still had his doubts, but if the prick was gonna be here for the long haul, was it really so wrong to consider leaving. He felt guilt immediately for even thinking about it, and more guilt on top of that because of how he had hurt Jim. 

Harvey didn't want Jim to stay here in shitty ol' Gotham just for him, but he didn't feel like he could trust his father to man up. He was so fucked either way. 

Fuck. Did any of this talk even matter? What were the chances that Jim would even go out with him again after what he had done? He sighed miserably, grateful to finally be finishing up for the night. His head hurt, and he didn't know what to do. He grabbed his jacket, lighting up a cigarette as he walked back home. 

Maybe, just maybe, if Harvey begged for forgiveness. Maybe if he got on his knees and kissed his damn feet, told him that he did want forever, Jim would take him back. They could try actually talking about it, figure it out together. 

Fuck, he loved Jim so much. If he was willing to give Harvey another chance, maybe there was a way they could make this work. 

Harvey felt a tiny spark of hope warming his heart, sighing as he unlocked the apartment door to step inside. He was ready for a hot shower and a few very well earned hours of sleep, maybe busy his hand with some tasty memories of Jim before he passed out. 

As soon as the door shut behind him, he knew something was wrong. It was too quiet. He turned on the light, and couldn't believe the wreck before him. All the kitchen cabinets were open, their contents spilled across the floor. Even from here he could see the couch was turned over, cushions on the other side of the room. Panic immediately set in. 

Had they been robbed, had someone broken in. 

Ma! 

He bolted to her bedroom, gasping as he saw her on the floor, face down. Her room was also trashed, dresser drawers pulled out and items thrown all over the place, her bedside table was on its side behind her.

Harvey dropped down beside her and grabbed hold, pulling her tiny body into his lap, crying, "Ma! Ma, what the fuck happened! Are you okay?"

His mother stirred, her eyes fluttering open in surprise, actually smiling. "Oh, Harvey. It's you." 

"Ma, what the fuck?" Harvey asked breathlessly, petting his hand through her hair. 

"I'm fine. I tried to stop him. I fell, couldn't get back up," she sighed, smiling sheepishly. "Guess I fell asleep waiting." 

"Him?" 

"Your father," she clarified with a sad frown. 

"He fuckin' did this?" Harvey raged. "Why? What the fuck! Where is that piece of fuckin' dog shit! I will fucking kill him, I'll fuckin'-" 

"Watch your damn language," she chided, weakly popping Harvey's shoulder. 

"Come on," he groaned, flustered. "Where is he? What happened, Ma?" 

"He's gone," she replied quietly, sorrow creasing her features. "And he won't be coming back. For good this time." 

"Fuck." 

"Language," she reminded. 

"Sorry." Harvey had expected this, truly, but fuck, how he hated it. There had been a part of him that really did hope he was gonna be wrong this time. His mother looked so heartbroken, leaning down and kissing her forehead. "I'm so sorry, Ma. I just..." 

"It's okay," she said, smiling sadly. "You were right. Once he figured out he couldn't get what he came for, he left. Not before wrecking everything, the prick... help me get to bed?" 

"Yeah," he said, moving to carefully scoop her up into his arms. He carried her back to bed, gently setting her down. "What did he want?" 

"Money," she sighed, shrugging her little shoulders. "Wanted my life insurance policy. Thought his name might be on it." 

"Are you freaking kidding?" Harvey scoffed in disgust. "What the hell was he thinking, he'd just hang around until it was time to collect?" 

"He'd heard I wasn't doing well," she replied quietly, "Thought he'd make some quick cash when I croaked. Got pretty sore when he found out your name is on it."

"Me?" Harvey blinked. "Ma, you didn't ... you didn't have to do that."

"It's not very much," she said quickly, shaking her head. "But it's enough so you don't have to worry about me when it's time. I already have the plot. Just pick me out a cheap box and put me in the ground." She held up her hand. "Don't you dare burn me up, I'll haunt you." 

Harvey laughed, his eyes glistening with tears. They rarely discussed the inevitable. He nodded weakly, reaching for her hands. "I won't, I promise." 

She squeezed her son's hands, sighing. "Oh, my sweet boy... I love you." 

"I love you, too," he said, his heart thumping mournfully in his chest. He knew his mother didn't have much time, and now he felt like an absolute prick for ever thinking of leaving her. He couldn't, especially not now that his father had finally shown his true colors. 

He felt like an idiot for ever thinking he could find a way to make shit work for him and Jim. He wasn't lucky enough. Good shit like that didn't happen to guys like him.

Whatever hope he'd had for reconciling with Jim he threw away right then and there. 

Despite Mrs. O'Connell's big speech, Harvey had made up his mind. His place was here with his mother. Even if Jim was willing to stay in Gotham for him, he couldn't let him. 

At least one of them had to get out of here and find that happy ending, even if it wouldn't be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy freakin' updates, Batman. It's all coming together, and now that I have the ending in mind? Bwuhahahaha it's much easier to write. I may actually finish this before the end of the month. Maybe.


	50. Sore Winner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Jim adjusts to life at school without Harvey, the winner of the scholarship award is finally revealed.

Jim Gordon didn't think he had felt so broken since his father died. He didn't want to eat, he couldn't sleep, and everything around him reminded him of Harvey Bullock. Now he was mourning two people he had loved and lost, but losing Harvey felt worse because perhaps he could have done something to prevent it. 

Not meddled so much, been more patient, maybe strategically picked colleges that were closer to Gotham before bringing it up, maybe not said a damn thing at all. All of these thoughts and hundreds more haunted his every waking moment, but none of them helped ease the jagged chasm of pain that Harvey had left behind. 

Jim had given Harvey everything; his body, his love, and he would have given him forever. He still didn't understand how things had gone so wrong so quickly. He tried calling, but no one ever answered. He even tried showing up at Harvey's work to see him, but there was a man there Jim didn't know who told him Harvey was working nights at the docks now. 

After a few more tries and no success, Jim gave up. 

His mother tried to comfort him in that tender way most parents try to do; broken hearts will heal, there are more fish in the sea, all that. It did little to ease Jim's pain, and sometimes just made it worse. He quickly found if he pretended to feel better, she would leave him be. 

Jim wasn't sure whether or not she actually believed the strained smiles that he offered, but at least she wasn't pestering him as much. He could suffer in peace. 

He was alone, his heart was broken, and so far every college admission he had sent in had ended in rejection. His grades were good, but not good enough. A few schools did actually accept him based on the photography portfolio he submitted, but there was no way he could ever afford any of them. He actually regretted writing Harvey's name on that scholarship application now. Didn't seem like either one of them would be able to get into college any time soon. 

Before he knew it, winter break was over, and it was already time to go back to school. Jim had been dreading it, but thankfully he saw no sign of Harvey when he arrived. He was grateful for that, seeing as how he didn't think he could stand seeing him; especially on the first day back. 

The pain of their break-up was still too fresh. 

Barbara Kean was quick to find him during lunch, eager to catch up from their time apart, and immediately questioning his obvious heartache the moment she saw him. Having had absolutely no one else to talk to other than his mother, Jim spilled. He sobbed on Barbara's shoulder, telling her every terrible detail. She held him and comforted him, surprising forgiving of their last encounter despite how much vomit had been involved. 

She sat with him at lunch every day after that, chatted with him endlessly, called Harvey a scum sucking prick and all sorts of other colorful things in an attempt to make Jim feel better. It didn't really help, but he was happy to have someone to hang out with. 

It was now their fourth day back at school, and Harvey had not attended a single class. If Harvey still had any intention of passing this year, he had to show up today. 

"Now, if he actually shows up," Barbara was coaching Jim en route to photography class, "You just ignore him. Talk to him only if you have to, but remember. You're doing just great without him. Just peachy!" 

"Yeah, super peachy," Jim sighed pitifully. 

Barbara sighed, wrapping Jim up in a tight hug. "Come on, Jimmy," she urged, "Do not let some stupid boy be the end of you!" 

"Yeah," he mumbled, freezing in Barbara's arms as he saw an all too familiar head of red hair lumbering towards them. He hated the way he gasped and how his heart hopped up into his throat, taking in every detail of his ex-boyfriend's appearance. 

Harvey looked tired, dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't been sleeping. His clothes were wrinkled, their cleanliness questionable, and he was walking as quickly as possible. He was just shy of running as he hurried by them, head down as he prepared to pass them. 

Barbara smirked, curling her arms up around Jim's neck and planting a juicy kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you tonight, Jimmy," she purred, being sure to be extra loud so Harvey clearly heard her. 

Jim turned his head, catching Harvey's eyes for a brief moment. Pain was what he saw; exhaustion and so much pain. And then it was gone, replaced with disgust as he ducked inside the classroom. Jim pried himself from Barbara, attempting a kind smile. "Thanks for that." 

"A little good ol' fashioned jealousy is always a plus in any breakup," she assured him, giving him a light pat on his shoulder. "Seriously, tonight for the study group? My mom is making pizza rolls. Now, get your cute ass in there! Good luck! 

"Thanks. I'll be there," Jim nodded, smiling weakly as she left. He took a deep breath and crept into class, trying not to stare too hard at Harvey as he approached. 

Wow. He really did look like shit warmed over, but even at his worst Harvey was still beautiful. Jim took his seat, keeping his eyes focused at the front of classroom. They both still needed to pass this class, and he could hold it together for the next hour. 

Mr. Groat passed out their assignments, including a few extra for Harvey that he had missed. He didn't seem to question Harvey's absence, continuing on with the lessons without missing a beat. 

"Now, you may work with your partner to finish this. It's a study guide for your next test," Mr. Groat said, "You may also use your books. At the end of class, I'm going to have a special announcement for everybody." 

The classroom was filled with quiet chatter as the students began on the assignment, Jim swallowing thickly. He could just as easily work on the assignment by himself, but he couldn't stop looking over at Harvey. 

They still had the rest of the year to get through together, for better or worse. Maybe they could try to be friends, or at least civil. 

Harvey was focused on his book, scratching answers away on the many sheets of classwork he had, ignoring Jim entirely. 

"So," Jim said, his body thrumming with anxious energy. "You been... okay?" 

"Great," Harvey replied shortly, eyes focused on the work in front of him. He refused to look at Jim. 

Jim waited, expecting Harvey to at least ask him how he had been, stung by his silence. So much for being civil. He sighed, looking over the classwork. He leaned on his elbow, trying to read the first question, praying the class would be over soon. 

Minutes and minutes ticked by, tense, the pressure between them growing by the second. 

Jim finished up, quietly flipping through his book while he waited for the bell to ring. Normally he would have helped Harvey, who was clearly struggling, but he refused to give in. That asshole could do it by himself, Jim didn't care how much he had to do. 

"So," Harvey said finally, frustrated with the assignments and in need of a break. He glanced over at Jim, sighing as if he just couldn't help himself. "You and Barbara?" 

"She's just a friend." Jim felt his cheeks heating up, frowning. 

"Uh huh." Harvey didn't sound convinced. "Sure, she is." 

"Either way, that's not really any of your business, is it?" 

"Just sayin', sure didn't take you long to move right along," Harvey said, a faint snarl curling his lip. 

"Eat a dick, Harvey," Jim muttered under his breath, tempted to smack him across the face with his book. "You're the one that broke up with me. You don't get to have any opinions about my life, what I do, or who I hang out with." 

"Free country," Harvey snorted, leaning in close. "I can have all the opinions I want!" 

"Yeah?" Jim scoffed, hating how green Harvey's eyes were, hated all of those sexy freckles. 

"Yeah!" Harvey growled, gritting his teeth together. 

"Well! How about keeping them to yourself!" Jim shot back, his voice much louder than he meant to be. 

"How about you-" Harvey began to shout. 

"Is there a problem, gentleman?" Mr. Groat asked suddenly, cutting Harvey off and frowning faintly at them. 

"No, sir," they chirped obediently in unison, immediately falling silent. 

Jim was furious, scribbling at the assignment so hard that he was sure he would tear the paper if he didn't ease up. He refused to look at Harvey again, trying to hold back the angry tears stinging his eyes. Even if he was ever going to date Barbara, Harvey had no right to comment on it. 

Harvey sulked, glancing over at Jim, his expression softened now. All of the anger had run right out of him. He looked sad, saying quietly, "Just know that... you could do better. I know I don't get to say anything or whatever, but seriously. You deserve a hell of lot better than her. Okay?" 

Jim blinked, staring dumbly at Harvey. He didn't even know how to take that, opening his mouth and closing it when no words came out. He didn't have any more time to think of a response, Mr. Groat clearing his throat at the front of the class. 

"Now! Class is almost over, but I do have a very, very special announcement to make," Mr. Groat said, beaming proudly as he held up a small envelope. "The winner of the Wayne Foundation Photography Award is here in this very room!" 

Jim's stomach flipped. 

"The winner is..." Mr. Groat was grinning right at Jim, opening the envelope up. He paused as he read the name, his brow furrowing up. He looked confused, his eyes moving to the back of the room and glancing between Harvey and Jim. He regained his composure, finishing with a smile, "The winner... is Harvey Bullock. Well... congratulations!" 

"The fuck?" Harvey was stunned, blinking several times. He couldn't believe it, wait, how. He scowled, his head slowly turning and fixing Jim with a nasty glare. 

All Jim could do was stare at his feet as the class erupted into a loud round of applause. The bell suddenly rang and he was already shoving his books in his backpack, desperate to escape. 

Harvey grabbed Jim's arm, pulling him back into his chair and growling low, "We need to talk, _right now_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It just gets worse. I know, I freakin' know. I'm a monster. I'm so sorry.


	51. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of drama goin' on in the janitor's closet.

James Gordon's pulse instantly sky rocketed, squeaking in protest as Harvey dragged him outside into the hall. He'd barely had time to grab his books, huffing as Harvey pulled him towards the janitor's closet. "Oh, come on!" 

Jim groaned as Harvey unlocked it and shoved him inside, cringing as he heard the bell ring again. Great. Crammed in here with a very angry Harvey Bullock, and now he was gonna be late to his next class. He hated how close they were forced to be inside this small space, snapping, "Really? In here?" 

"What the fuck did you do," Harvey hissed, ignoring his question. "Why didn't you say anything. You used your picture, didn't you!" 

"I turned the application with your name on it, a-and I said it was a self portrait! That you used a tripod, and a delayed exposure, and-" 

"Why?" Harvey demanded, his hand slapping the wall above Jim's shoulders. "That stupid money should be yours!" 

"I did it for you!" Jim snapped back, getting right in Harvey's face. "Before you dumped me, obviously! You're so determined to stay miserable, someone had to do something for your future! God knows you weren't going to do anything about it!" 

"There is no future for me! Don't you fucking get it? I don't get to go play at college! I have to fucking work! Remember? Terribly sick dying mother?" 

"I wanted to help you!" 

"Stop trying to help! Stop trying to fix me! I am not going to fucking free until my fucking mother is dead!" Harvey gasped, his words shocking even himself. 

"Harvey," Jim whimpered quietly, wishing he could reach out and comfort him. 

Harvey's eyes began to tear up, gasping brokenly, "Just. Please, stop, okay?" 

"But your dad," Jim insisted, reaching out to touch Harvey's shoulder. "Maybe, maybe if you just gave him another chance-" 

"Shut the fuck up about my dad already!" Harvey growled, smacking Jim's hand away. "He's a piece of shit, will always be a piece of shit, and I fucking hate him." 

Jim recoiled immediately, gasping, "Harvey, I'm-" 

"Shut it." Harvey's temper boiled over, hissing nastily, "I'm sorry that your old man died, I really am, but stop trying to make mine into something he's not just because you miss yours!" 

Jim flopped against the wall, wounded and tears stinging his eyes. "You... you're such an asshole." 

"Yup. I sure am. But I'm right," Harvey spat bitterly. "You know where my old man is right now? He left! He only came back to try and score my mom's life insurance money. And now that he can't? He's gone again! Hopefully this time he's stays fucking gone!" 

"I'm... I'm sorry." Jim swallowed thickly. 

"Don't be sorry, just stop being so stupid," Harvey bit back. "Stop acting like you know what's best for me!" 

Jim narrowed his eyes, his hands clenching into fists as he snapped, "Oh! You mean like what you did, breaking up with me so I wouldn't stay in Gotham?" 

Harvey glared. 

"Admit it," Jim said stubbornly. "You can be mad at me all you want for trying to help you, but you did the same fucking thing! Except worse! Because you broke my fucking heart! You fucked me, you broke my heart, and then you left!" 

"Jim-" 

"No! Fuck you!" Jim lunged forward and started hitting Harvey's chest, furious, crying brokenly, "You knew, didn't you. You knew I would stay for you because I loved you so much, you're such a piece of shit!" 

Harvey held up his arms to block most of the blows, but he let a few get by. He felt like he deserved them. "Goddammit, Jim! What kinda future were we even gonna have! You and I both know this wasn't gonna fuckin' last." 

"No! When I said forever, I fucking meant it!" Jim's eyes widened in realization, gasping, "Oh, my God. You already knew you were gonna dump me." 

"Jim... it's not like that..." Harvey floundered, trying to think of something to say. 

"When?" Jim snapped, punching his chest again. "After prom? At the end of the year? Whenever you got bored? You're such a prick! Wow, glad you didn't have to drag it out! Nice that you managed to get one last fuck in before smashing my heart into tiny pieces!" 

Harvey grabbed Jim's wrists, holding him tight, desperately pleading, "No! That's not, that's not what happened!" 

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happened! I have never felt so fucking dirty, and, and, and so used in my life! I could still feel you inside me, and then you fucking crushed me!" 

"Jim." Harvey's heart was aching, every emotional fiber in his body raw and torn. He had never meant to hurt Jim so badly. "I was trying to do what was right, I wanted you-" 

"Oh, please," Jim laughed bitterly, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Please keep telling me you did the right thing. Tell me you did it to help me, and not because you're such a coward." 

"Fuck you," Harvey grunted, taken aback by the insult, "I am not a damn coward." 

"You're afraid," Jim countered, "All the time. Of losing your mom, of fucking failing, of not being good enough for me. You were so afraid that I'd figure you out, that I'd see what a piece of crap you really are, I'd finally realize that I really could do so much better. 

"You didn't want to get hurt, so you went ahead and fucked me over first. Don't you dare try to make this about me, because it's about you! You're so fucking selfish. But please, keep going. It's making it easier to hate you." 

Harvey swore he heard his own heart crack. He couldn't stand the idea of Jim hating him, but wasn't that the idea. Wouldn't that supposed to make this easier. His eyes were glistening with tears, shaking his head. "Jim... come on. You don't fuckin' mean that." 

"I'm sorry, did I stutter?" Jim hissed, throwing Harvey's own nasty words right back at him from the day they broke up. He was furious, wanting to slap that pained expression right off Harvey's face. " _I hate you_." 

Several beats of silence passed, Jim standing firm and refusing to give an inch, face hard and angry. Harvey had sagged against the wall, more conflicted than he had ever been in his young life. Jim should hate him. He needed to hate him so they could both move on. 

Christ, as he stared into those big blue eyes, Harvey realized he didn't want to move on. He loved Jim so much, and he didn't want to give him up. 

Not yet. 

Harvey couldn't help himself, pressing forward and plastering his body against Jim's, crushing his lips in a passionate kiss. 

Jim gasped, raising his fists as if to hit him again, but he melted almost instantly. He was too wrecked to resist, his hands finding their way around Harvey's neck like always. The kiss was messy, full of tears and sobbing, but Jim couldn't stop. Harvey tasted just like he remembered, and he had missed him so much. 

Harvey's hands were up Jim's shirt, sliding around to cradle the small of his back, groaning softly as he eagerly licked his way into Jim's mouth. It was too easy to get caught up in the press of their bodies, how they always seemed to fit together so perfectly. 

Jim was panting, moving on instinct, doing what felt good. He had been in so much pain since Harvey had broken up with him, and for the first time it all melted away. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," Harvey mumbled against Jim's lips, trying to eliminate any possible space between their bodies. He couldn't take it any more. He had hurt Jim so terribly, and he felt like an utter bastard. 

Mrs. O'Connell was right, that damn hag. He'd had no right to dictate what Jim did with his life. If Jim wanted him, what right did he have to refuse him. He had been so arrogant, selfish and arrogant. 

And yes, afraid. 

Afraid of losing him. 

Maybe... just maybe, they could fix this. Maybe they could find their happy ending together. 

Harvey's hands slid over Jim's ass, squeezing and grinding against him. He began kissing down his neck, sucking hard. Jim was whimpering, his fingers digging into Harvey's back. Harvey lifted his head to kiss the beautiful sounds right out of Jim's mouth, starting to unbutton his jeans. They were both so hard, and Harvey had never been this desperate for someone. He wanted to touch Jim again, to hear him moan his name... 

"I can't do this," Jim said, pulling away suddenly, panting. 

"Wh-what?" 

"You think we can just make out in a closet and I'm gonna forgive you?" Jim scoffed, wiping away his tears and trying to fasten his pants back up. 

"I wasn't... I don't know," Harvey admitted, scrubbing the heel of his hand over his face. He groaned in frustration, reaching down to adjust himself. 

"What do you want, Harvey?" Jim demanded. 

"Another chance," Harvey said immediately. "I'm not ready to lose you. I thought I was, and I'm... I just can't. I fucked up, okay? Like, the worst fuck up in the history of fuck ups." 

"Yeah? Well. Maybe you were right," Jim sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Maybe I do deserve better. Better than Barbara, better than _you_." 

"You do," Harvey said sadly, "But for whatever stupid ass reason, you fell in love with me. And... I shouldn't have tried to decide what was gonna be right for you. I should have just let you love me. I'm so, so fucking sorry." 

"You're sorry," Jim echoed, sniffing loudly. "You, you did all of this to me, and you think saying 'sorry' is gonna fix it?" 

"Jim," Harvey began. 

"No," Jim said, shouldering his backpack, shaking his head. "I don't want to do this any more. What if you have some stupid crisis and decide to dump me again? You... you really hurt me. I'm not... I'm not going to let you do that again." 

"But Jim," Harvey pleaded. "I still love you." 

Jim paused, his face turning ice cold. He leaned close and for a brief moment Harvey actually thought they were going to kiss again. That hope was shattered when Jim growled low, "Good for you." 

Harvey tried to reach for him, wished he knew what to say to stop him. But Jim was gone, racing out of the closet and slamming the door behind him. 

_Isn't this what you wanted. Now he'll never want to stay..._

Harvey pressed his hands to his face, slumping down to the floor. He had ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him, and now it was too late to get it back. 

Jim hid in the bathroom, praying Harvey wouldn't follow. He sobbed into the crook of his arm, hoping no one would stumble in and disturb him. The scab on his broken heart had been ripped right off, and he never thought that love could hurt like this. 

Yes, love. 

Damn him to the deepest depths of hell, Jim still loved Harvey, too. He didn't think he could hate him if he tried. 

And goddammit, he was trying really hard! 

Harvey had managed to hurt him again, suddenly claiming that he wanted another chance despite the cruel way he had let him go. Jim appreciated that he had admitted his wrongs, but he didn't think he could ever forgive him. There would always be that fear that he would do it again.

He wanted that happiness they'd had back so badly it made his soul ache, but the special spark that had glowed so brightly between them had been snuffed out. 

All the memories of their past few months together hit Jim like tsunami, sobbing harder. God, how he wished he could hate Harvey. How could he? 

He was so beautiful. He knew from the moment they met that Harvey was special. 

_Watch where you’re fucking going, you fucking putz!_

And maybe a bit of a jerk.

_Aww, what's wrong, Flass? Mister Goose not doin’ it for you like he used to?_

But charming. 

_Why, Boy Scout. I do believe you’re sweet on me._

So charming. 

_You’re the best fuckin’ thing that’s ever happened to me._

And he could be very sweet. 

_Amazing, huh? Well, shit. I was aiming for 'perfect'._

Funny, too. 

_Fuck, there's so much nasty shit I wanna do to you._

Ugh, and disgusting. 

_I'm kind of in love with you, you know._

But mostly sweet! 

_You feel so fucking good..._

Oh, and the passion, the very thought making Jim shiver. 

_God, yes, ride my fuckin' dick, goddamn!_

So. 

_Fucking look at you, taking all of it so fucking good._

Very. 

_You are so goddamn sexy._

Passionate. 

_I wanna keep fucking you forever. I love you, for fuckin' ever..._

_I love you so fuckin' much._

_I love you._

And he had loved him... 

Those last few memories almost broke him. They were supposed to be together forever; looks like forever wasn't even meant to last one school year. 

Jim took a few deep breaths, an odd sense of clarity coming over him and calming him down. He knew what he had to do now. 

His destination wasn't far from the school, only a few blocks. He felt bad for skipping class, but he had to do this. It was easy to get an appointment, this place was always accepting walk-ins. It only took a few minutes before someone would be available to speak with him. 

Jim was nervous. He knew it wasn't smart to make such a big decision when he was still upset, but this made sense. Trying to get into college was becoming a headache, and he knew he'd never get the money together. Sure, he could try for more scholarships or grants, but this would be completely guaranteed. 

This would get him out of Gotham, away from all of this heartache, away from Harvey. He would finally get his life started. 

A gentleman came to fetch him, leading him to a small office and gesturing for him to take a seat. He smiled and asked politely, "Tell me, how can I help you today, young man?" 

Jim sat down, offering a small smile as he said, "Uh, yes, sir. I'd like to talk about my options for enlistment."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a struggle to write. X_xxx
> 
> Four more chapters to go!


	52. Never Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim still can't decide if he'll ever forgive Harvey, and the day of prom brings new complications.

"Harvey is such an asshole." 

"Oh, the worst." 

"I can't fucking stand it, he keeps trying to talk to me! He keeps trying to apologize! It's been months!" 

"Ulgh. He's a total dick." 

"I don't know what to do," Jim was complaining, stretched out across the foot of Barbara's bed. 

She was petting his hair, comforting as always, purring sternly, "Just stay strong." 

"I... I miss him," Jim admitted, frowning as he glanced up at her. 

It had been three months since his confrontation with Harvey Bullock in the janitor's closet, and not much had changed. He continued to ignore Harvey's pleas for forgiveness, tried to get on with him in class as best he could, but it wasn't easy. 

The harder Harvey tried, the harder Jim resisted. Even if he could forgive his ex-boyfriend, Jim didn't see the point. He had no intentions of staying in Gotham, having already signed his name on the dotted line. Two short weeks after graduation, he would be shipped off to basic training. 

He'd only signed up for four years, enough to ensure his college education was paid for. He hadn't told anyone except his mother, who was tearful and proud, and said how she wished his father was here to see him off. 

There were moments like now that he was questioning whether or not he had made the right decision. Harvey did seem so very sorry, and Jim knew he could be happy here. He knew he was still in love with him. But then that familiar pain would lurch down in his gut again, and he was afraid of being hurt once more. 

"Ulgh," Barbara groaned, her nails raking roughly against Jim's scalp. "You have to get the fuck over him! What you need is a new pretty face to distract you, a rebound. And like, fast." 

"That is terrible advice!" Jim groaned. 

Barbara stuck out her tongue, arguing, "No, it's great advice! Once Harvey sees that you've moved on, he'll give up! And besides. Gettin' a little somethin' somethin' might cheer you up. When was the last time you got any? When he dumped you, right?" 

"I don't need... _that_ ," Jim protested, blushing brilliantly. He regretted telling Barbara so much personal information, sighing miserably. "I can't... I can't just do it to... do it!" 

Barbara rolled her eyes, complaining, "Oh, my God, you're so boring." She glanced at her nails, her face lighting up as she said, "Fine, how about let's talk about something that actually matters." 

Jim sighed, forcing a strained smile. Barbara wasn't the best friend in the world, shallow as a kiddie pool, but she was all he had right now. She did really care about him; in her own odd way. "Let's see... You?" 

"Of course!" She giggled. "Me! And how I'm planning the most awesome pre-prom party ever. We're going to have a fuckin' awesome time, and-" 

"I'm not going." 

"Uh, yeah, you are." 

Jim shook his head. "I'm not really in the partying mood, Barb. And I don't want to go to prom anymore." 

"It wasn't a question," Barbara pouted, narrowing her eyes. "I have been spending _weeks_ upping your cool status by letting you hang out with me and my friends. It's gonna be expected now. If you don't show up, I will look bad. I can't be abandoned by my own pet project. You are coming." 

Jim groaned in frustration, sitting up and turning his back to her. "I don't care about that stuff. Maybe you do, but I don't." 

Barbara sighed, changing up tactics as she gently rested her hand on Jim's shoulder. "Look, I get that you're still super hung up on Harvey. Gross, but whatever. If you don't want date anyone else and you don't wanna fuck around, fine. But you can't waste the rest of the year staying at home moping. Especially this. It's senior prom, Jim." 

He glanced back at her, frowning faintly. 

She offered a warm smile, a flicker of the real person lurking beneath her fake exterior showing through, saying encouragingly, "Not like we're ever gonna have another one, you know?" 

Jim fidgeted, considering. 

"Pleeeeease?" she pleaded, batting her big blue eyes and pouting. 

"Fine! Okay! Just stop making that face!" Jim grunted, rolling his eyes. 

"Yes!" Barbara cheered, hugging him tight. "We are gonna have so much fuckin' fun, Jim! You'll see, you don't need that fucking dumbass. I'll even help you pick out something to wear." 

"Gotta make sure we match?" Jim snorted. 

"Ugh, no, tacky," Barbara laughed, giving him a friendly nudge. "I just have to make sure you're fit to be seen with me in public." 

"I guess I should get you a corsage?" Jim asked, raising his brows skeptically. 

"Um, no," Barbara said cooly, shaking her head. "My date is already getting me one." 

Jim blinked in surprise. "Date?" 

"Uh, duh. What, did you think I was gonna be lame and go with you?" she laughed. "It's been super fun hanging out, and like, getting to know you? But prom dates are very important. You're totally coming as like, part of my entourage, but I have a date already." 

"Who's the lucky guy?" Poor bastard. 

"The foxy Mister Lucius Fox," she gushed, her hands fanning herself off as she squealed. 

"From our study group?" 

"Uh huh. Lee tried to get him first, but I got my claws in good." 

"You're a very persistent woman," Jim snickered, shaking his head. He knew from first hand experience. He hoped Lucius knew what he was in for. 

"Damn right," Barbara cackled. "Lee was a bit salty, but now she's going with that guy Mario, so she's fine. Oh! And that little skank Oswald Cobblepot is going with Edward Nygma, king of the nerds. Can you believe it? Butch is gonna go with Tabby, uhm..." 

"Don't suppose you heard anything about Harvey?" Jim couldn't help but ask, grimacing. 

"Oh, he's gonna be there," Barbara said in a happy sing song voice. "As the help. Ha! Mr. Groat felt sorry for him because he's such a loser and gave him a job setting up all the tables and breaking down at the end of the night. We've gotta make you extra pretty, just to fuck with him." 

"I don't really want to see him." 

"No, you've got to see him," Barbara insisted, "Show up looking like a million fuckin' bucks. Make him fuckin' eat it." 

Jim thought of the cufflinks he had tucked away at home that he had planned to wear for prom. It could be fun to let Barbara get him all dressed up, finally agreeing, "Fine, okay. You can help me pick out my suit. On one condition." 

"Yes?" 

"I need a French cuff shirt," Jim said with a grin. 

"Ooo, Babs likey," she purred, playfully swatting at him. "Look at you, bein' all sexy and shit. Oh, Jim. It's gonna be a damn blast. We'll get ready here, get our drink on, and my mom is springing for a limo to take us all there. Already know that I'm going to make a toooon of Jell-O shots..." 

Jim let Barbara babble away with her plans for the party, smiling and nodding as he needed to. Sometimes she really just wanted to hear herself talk, and actual participation in the conversation was unnecessary. 

It gave Jim time to venture off into his own thoughts. He really did miss Harvey; his kisses, his smile, the way he would tease and make Jim laugh to cheer him up no matter how shitty he was feeling. The way they made love, the quiet moments that would follow when they would hold each other and the rest of the world would disappear. 

In the days leading up to prom, Jim still couldn't shake Harvey from his mind no matter how hard he tried. He only had to see him for photography class, and he felt lucky that his ex-boyfriend didn't try to approach him outside of that. Harvey was desperate for another chance, but he remained respectful. 

Jim knew they had one final photography project they had to do together as partners, but Mr. Groat hadn't given them many details about it yet. Whatever it was, Jim hoped it was something they could actually do on their own. He didn't want to spend any more time with Harvey than he had to. 

Sitting next to him in photography class was hard enough. 

Before Jim knew it, the big day had finally arrived; 

Prom. 

Now only a few hours away, Jim was more aware of Harvey's presence next to him in class than ever before. He didn't want to be bitter, but tonight was supposed to have been their special night. Harvey should have been the one helping him pick out his suit, not Barbara. Harvey should have been coming to pick him up, not her. Harvey was supposed to be the one bringing him a pretty boutonniere, telling him how great he looked. 

They should have been going together. 

But no, Harvey had to be a giant jerk and dump him, then magically try to take it all back because he'd realized what a mistake he'd made. 

It wasn't fair. None of this was. They had been so happy, and Harvey had screwed it all up. Jim didn't think he could forgive him, but he couldn't stop loving him. It was a miserable cycle he couldn't escape from, leaving him angry and torn. 

Jim didn't realize how aggressively he'd been marking on his assignment until he heard Harvey grumble, "Fuck, what did that damn paper ever do to you?" 

"Nothing," Jim replied quietly, sitting back in his chair. 

"Big prom plans?" Harvey asked casually. 

Jim frowned. "Just hanging out, then going with Barbara and her friends." 

"Like, _with_ Barbara?" 

"No, she's going with Lucius," Jim answered shortly. 

"So... no date?" Harvey finally stopped beating around the bush and asked what he really wanted to know. 

Jim slapped his pencil down, glaring at Harvey. "No, no date." 

"Oh." Harvey was quiet, but seemed satisfied. 

Jim picked up his pencil, intent on continuing with his work. 

"Like, nobody's asked you, or...?" 

"Oh, my God!" Jim wanted to stab him right in the eye. "No one has asked me, and even if they did? I'm not exactly in a good place to try and start anything new." 

"Fuck, sorry for fuckin' asking," Harvey snapped back. 

"Why do you care?" Jim demanded. "Jealous of my non-existent date?" 

"Yeah," Harvey grunted, his eyes shifting to his feet, fingers fidgeting with the edge of his worksheet. 

Jim was surprised by his honesty, wanting to reach out and take his hand. He refused to give in, griping, "Well. That sucks for you." 

"Let me take you," Harvey said suddenly, gazing at him imploringly. "Fuck Barbara and her stupid friends. They're all a bunch of dumb airhead trash, and you know it." 

"Heard you were having to work," Jim chirped smugly in response, enjoying Harvey's surprise that he knew about that. 

"Just for a little while before it starts, and you know, after," Harvey huffed, "But I still totally could. I just... let me do this. You deserve a real date for prom, Jimmy." 

Jim had to admit he was tempted, dangerously close to giving in. "Harvey," he began to softly protest, frowning deeply. "I don't think that's a good idea. I'm still..." 

"Pissed at me, I get it," Harvey said, nodding. He was feeling brave, reaching to gently take Jim's hand. "I'm not looking for you to take me back, just... let me take you to prom?" 

Jim let Harvey hold his hand, hating how it made it his heart immediately dance in his chest. "I don't know." 

"Please, Jim," Harvey pleaded quietly. "I... I really miss you." 

"I miss you, too," Jim confessed, frowning softly. 

"Then why can't we try again. Please. I want you back. We can figure it out, I know we can. I know I fucked up-" 

"Wait, we were just talking about going to prom. Like, just for tonight. I don't wanna date you right now. I am nowhere near close to being able to trust you again!" Jim pulled his hand away, his cheeks burning hot. 

"But you miss me," Harvey was quick to point out, "And I know you still love me." 

"Don't you dare assume to know how I feel about you," Jim hissed, his anger getting the better of him. "All you need to know is that I haven't forgiven you! And maybe I never will!" 

Harvey was clearly wounded, biting back, "Well, fuck you, too. I already forgave you!" 

"Wow, thanks, asshole! What you did compared to what I did? Not even on the same planet of shitty things to do. Not, not even the same galaxy!" 

"Come on," Harvey protested, "That's not fair!" 

Jim was getting upset. They hadn't spoken this much in weeks, and he hadn't realized just how many emotions he had been bottling up until now. They were threatening to explode everywhere, torn between bursting into tears and punching Harvey in the mouth. "Not fair?" 

"Fuck no, it's not fair. I've apologized a hundred damn times, I don't know-" 

"Try a hundred fuckin' more," Jim snapped, struggling to keep his voice down. "You wanna know what's not fair? Waiting all of your life to lose your virginity to someone, to finally fall in love, and have that same person rip your fucking heart out." 

"Jim, I'm sorry-" 

"I know you are. Because only a sorry person would do something like that and claim they were doing it to help." 

"Jim," Harvey tried again, but his words were cut off by the bell. 

Jim jumped up to his feet, intent on bolting immediately as he tried to quickly get his books back in his bag. Harvey looked like he was gonna follow him, waiting patiently for him to get his things together. 

Jim really didn't want to talk anymore. He was about to tell Harvey as much, frustrated and miserable, but a voice interrupted him before he could. 

"Mr. Gordon," Mr. Groat called out sternly over the bubbling chatter of the class. "Please don't leave yet. I need to see you." 

Jim felt an odd stab of fear cutting into his gut. Mr. Groat had never sounded this serious. "Uh... yeah, of course, sir." 

He half expected Harvey to still wait for him, but all he got was one last angry glare and he was gone. Guess that was the end of that conversation. 

Jim slid his bag over his shoulder, waiting patiently at Mr. Groat's desk as the students all filed out. "You. Uh, wanted to see me, sir?" 

"Really lucky of Mr. Bullock to win that scholarship," Mr. Groat said once they were alone, his eyebrows arching up. 

"Yeah," Jim said quietly, frowning. He didn't understand why Mr. Groat had asked him to stay after class to talk about Harvey. "Let's just hope he actually uses it." 

"Yeah, about that," the teacher said, his brow crinkling further in concern. "You're aware that there are certain conditions for the scholarship." 

Jim's frown deepened, and his palms were starting to sweat. Why did he have a bad feeling about this. 

"The most important one being that whatever the student submitted needed to be their own work," Mr. Groat continued, folding his fingers together. 

"Uh huh," Jim squeaked. 

Oh, fuck. 

"Funny, I could have sworn I saw that same picture when I looked at your photos at the first of the year," the teacher said casually, and Jim could feel a noose tightening around his neck. "Isn't that strange?" 

Oh, fuuuck. 

"Really strange," Jim replied, his voice rising several octaves. 

How could he have been so stupid. Mr. Groat had asked to see his other photographs that day he turned in the portrait of Harvey. In that stack was the very photo of Harvey and his mother that he had taken. Stupid, stupid, stupid! 

"Uh huh." Mr. Groat didn't seem angry; that had to be a good sign. 

Right? 

"I don't, uhm, seem to remember, exactly?" Jim wished he could keep his voice from cracking. "I just take so many pictures, you know. Like all the time. Just constantly clicking away." 

"I saw the original application this morning," Mr. Groat said, calm and smiling now. "I've been grading your work all year, Mr. Gordon. So, I'm pretty familiar with your handwriting." 

Jim thought he was going to pass out. Oh, Mr. Groat knew. He was fucking with him, trying to get him to rat out Harvey's win as fraud. He began to panic, swallowing thickly. 

Maybe he should just confess, just blame it all on Harvey for breaking his heart. Wouldn't that be fitting? Definitely the kind of dick move Barbara would encourage, and he hated himself for actually considering it. 

No! Even as angry as he was with Harvey, he deserved this more than anything. 

A chance to become the man that Jim knew he could be. 

"Yes, sir," Jim said slowly, his jaw firm. "I... helped Harvey fill it out." 

"That so?" Mr. Groat said with a small tilt of his head. 

"Yes," Jim said, more sure of himself now. "I did. And if there's any similarity between some picture I took and the one Harvey turned in, it must just be a weird coincidence." 

"Must be," Mr. Groat agreed, nodding his head. 

"Is... is there anything else, sir?" Jim fidgeted nervously. "I don't, you know, wanna be late for my next class." 

"I'll write you a hall pass just in case," Mr. Groat said, grabbing a pad from his desk and filling it out quickly. 

"Thanks, sir." 

"I hope Harvey knows what a good friend you are," the teacher said with a knowing smile, handing the pass over. 

"Yeah, well..." Jim flushed. "I guess he does now. But it's too late." 

"Too late?" The teacher looked confused. 

"We sort of, well, we aren't really friends right now," Jim explained awkwardly, blushing. This wasn't the sort of thing he wanted to discuss with his teacher. "I don't think we can fix it. So, yeah, I think it's too late." 

"James, do you realize how young you are? You still have the rest of your life ahead of you," Mr. Groat said with a small laugh. "Trust me. It's never too late." 

Jim tried to smile, nodding. "Yeah. Maybe," he managed to reply, "Well. Thanks and all. See you tonight, Mr. Groat." 

"Tonight, Mr. Gordon." The teacher waved farewell as Jim departed, his thoughts muddled with worry and uncertainty. If he was willing to risk so much and lie for Harvey, why was he so unwilling to forgive him? 

The fear, he knew, silently answering his own question. 

Harvey had held Jim's heart in his hands and he had squished it like a grape. Never too late, Mr. Groat claimed, but Jim wasn't so sure. 

He also didn't think he was brave enough to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap. This chapter became sort of a jumbled monster. I probably should have split it up into two (especially with how much time passes), but I'm trying like hell to stay on track with the outline I set up. So, sorry it jumps around a bunch! X_X
> 
> Also... the ending? Already written. So, when the final bit of misery is posted, the happy ending will follow! <333


	53. Prom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom is finally here. <3

Prom was finally here, and Jim Gordon was very thankful for the eleven Jell-O shots that Barbara had fed him at the party. 

He had been sober when he first arrived, but Barbara kept handing him drinks while they were getting ready. He wouldn't let her assist him with getting into his tuxedo no matter how hard she tried, but he did let her help put on his bow tie. She was too handsy as usual, but Jim actually appreciated it when she gushed about how handsome he looked. 

The tuxedo was a classic black with a brilliant blue bow tie that Barbara had told him brought out the color of his eyes. When he finally clicked the cufflinks into place and saw himself in the mirror for the first time, he even thought he looked good. 

But... sad. 

This still didn't feel right, and his mind easily backtracked to the conversation he'd had with Harvey in class earlier that day. 

Jim was still head over for heels for that feisty redhead, remembering how easy it was for him to get his heart racing simply by holding his hand. He wished that he wasn't so afraid, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking that Harvey would just fuck up again if tried to give him another chance. 

It didn't matter either way. The military was his future now. He was leaving Gotham, leaving Harvey, leaving all the bad memories behind. The service would give him a fresh start, a clean state. 

The best thing he could do was continue moving forward. 

As he looked at himself in the mirror, he caught himself readjusting his bow tie. It didn't look quite right to him. He didn't know how to tie a bowtie or even a regular tie very well. Half knot, full Windsor, half Windsor. It was all nonsense to him. His father had shown him before, but Jim couldn't remember. The tie he'd worn to the funeral had been a damn clipon.

He had tried over and over again, trying desperately to remember. Which knot was this, which way the did the tail go, was it two loops or one. He had promptly broken down into angry sob. He hadn't paid enough attention, had always figured his father would be around forever to show him some other time. 

When his mother found him in tears, she held him close, petted his hair, and had given him the clipon to wear. Later, she had told him. We'll figure it out later. 

Later never came as far as tie tying instruction was concerned, and Jim still had no idea what to do with the damn thing. 

Harvey probably could have helped him, he thought to himself. 

Tying ties just seemed like something Harvey would be able to do. Not that his father would have taught him, Jim figured. No, Harvey would figured it out for himself, that's was just the kind of person he was. Stubborn, clever, beautiful. 

Fuck, Jim missed him. 

He tried to forget all about the stupid bow tie, leaving it be and heading back downstairs to rejoin the party and drink all the pain away. 

Thanks to Barbara continuing to feed him shots, Jim was tipsy and relaxed, happy for the first time in weeks as they headed out to prom. His head was warm and empty, easily dancing along to the music pumping in the back of the limo with Barbara and the rest of her friends. 

Everyone seemed to have a date except him, Barbara in particular focused on seeing how far she could jam her tongue down Lucius' throat. He ignored them all, dancing away without a care in the world. 

Jim was still in high spirits as the limo pulled up to the school. They were already over an hour late, Barbara insisting on making an entrance, and prom was in full swing. The dance floor was packed, someone had already spiked the punch, and the chaperones were doing their best to contain the chaos. 

Barbara led him and the others straight onto the dance floor. It was hot and sticky already, impossible to take a single step without bumping into another person. Jim did his best to wiggle, bouncing around to a few songs. 

He was miserable by the fourth song. It was too hot, too many people slamming into him, and he was starting to rapidly sober up. He tried to find Barbara to tell her that he was stepping outside to get some air, but he couldn't find her. She had vanished somewhere with Lucius, no doubt. 

He managed to elbow his way out of the gyrating throng of people, relieved when the cool night air hit his face. He could still smell the thick aroma of aftershave and pot, cigarettes and too much perfume, taking a few steps around the gymnasium to find some fresher air to breathe. 

It seemed he wasn't the only one who had wanted some private time, scurrying past several couples who were making out. He noted Barbara and Lucius were among them, flashing a quick smile as he hurried by them. 

He found himself wandering out towards the bleachers of the football field, his fellow students becoming fewer and fewer as he walked along. The only light came from the lamps lining the track and one posted next to a small tool shed. He thought he heard movement from inside of it, but kept going. 

Jim had finally made it to senior prom. He had gotten drunk, he had danced, now what? 

He was here alone, and the only friend he had was busy sucking face with her date. He absently patted his pockets, wondering if he had enough cash for a cab. He could call one and just head home. Barbara would probably never even notice him missing. 

There was a tiny part of him that had hoped he would see Harvey tonight. He wondered if he would have dressed up; probably not since he was working, but it was a nice thought. He had never seen Harvey in a suit before, much less anything else other than his usual hoodie and jeans combo. He let himself daydream about what his ex-boyfriend would look like in a tuxedo, kicking rocks as he walked. 

The end of the school year was right around the corner now. 

Graduation. 

Then, the military. 

Many people in his family had served, and he hoped the military would give him the focus he desired. It would give him direction, a career if he decided to continue reenlisting after his first four years were up. He would get to travel, see new places, and oh, the pictures he'd be able to take. 

It wasn't quite the life he had imagined for himself, but wasn't happily ever after just a fairy tale anyway? 

He worried that he had been naive to think that he was going to be with Harvey forever. They were so damn young, and Mr. Groat had been right when he said Jim still had the whole rest of his life ahead of him. Maybe Harvey wasn't the one he was meant to be with, maybe there was someone better out there waiting for him. There was a giant world out there beyond Gotham that he had never seen. 

It was still hard to imagine anyone that he could love more than Harvey... 

But Harvey had broken his heart. Dumped him. And all the apologies in the world weren't enough to ease the ache he had left behind. He didn't know if he could ever forgive him, and a future with him didn't seem possible now. 

The military made sense. That was a future he could depend on. This felt more real, something he could touch and hold onto. The military would take care of him, teach him, and give him a path to follow. 

Even though he would be walking it alone. 

Jim frowning, waking up out of his thoughts as he realized he was on the other side of the football field, far away from the school. 

Well, definitely wasn't gonna run into Harvey out here. Perhaps it was better not to see him tonight. He didn't want to fight and so far, honestly, he'd had a lot of fun. He turned back around, heading towards the gym. He decided he could stand to join in for a few more dances, maybe try to find out if the punch was still spiked.

He heard laughter as he passed back by the small tool shed. A few yards off in the parking lot, there were two guys standing and drinking from a brown paper bag. Fuck, he knew that laugh. Jim gulped, trying to hurry and head directly back to the gym. 

"Hey, you!" 

Yup. Definitely knew that voice, too. 

Jim tried to keep his head down and keep walking, but a strong hand grabbed his shoulder from behind and pulled him back. 

"Hey, if it's not little fuckface!" Arnold Flass taunted, pushing Jim backwards and shoving him up against the side of the shed. Alvarez was right there with him, grinning smugly. 

"What do you want?" Jim groaned in frustration, trying to push Flass' hands off of him. 

"Little payback," Flass snapped. "I've been lookin' to get even with Bullock all damn year, and lookie lookie. His little bitch is out here all alone." 

Jim managed to pry Flass' hand away, but Alvarez was on the other side of him now. There was nowhere to run. "Come on. Harvey and I aren't together any more. We broke up." 

"Oh, really?" Flass grinned. "What a crying shame. But you know, Barbara tells me he's still trying to get back in your pants, like super hard. So. If we rough you up just a wee bit, still gonna get to him. Probably be real torn up he wasn't here to save your sweet ass again." 

"I'm so proud you were able to put that together all by yourself, or did Alvarez help you?" Jim sneered, grunting as Flass slammed him up against the shed again. 

Damn Barbara and her big ass mouth! 

"You're fuckin' dead, kid," Flass hissed, his fist reeling back and socking Jim in the stomach. 

All the air was knocked from his lungs, the world spun, and for a second Jim thought he was gonna throw up. Flass' hands were around his neck, grabbing at his collar and smacking him hard into the shed once more. 

Behind him, he heard the door of the tool shed open; wait, someone _was_ in there. There were people inside. Two people, and they sounded pissed off. 

The way the light fell made it so that Jim couldn't quite make out the shadowy figure coming up behind Flass. The person's arm came up, crashing right down on top of Flass' head. 

Flass crumpled to the ground, clutching his head and moaning loudly in pain. 

Jim collapsed against the shed, holding his neck and gasping for air. 

There was a bright burning ember punctuating the dark silhouette of his rescuer, squinting as he tried desperately to identify him. There was a brief pause, and then the figure stepped forward into the light to reveal himself. 

"Wh... Mr. Groat?!" Jim stared in shock at his teacher, dumbfounded. 

Mr. Groat had a joint between his teeth, puffing smoke out of his nose like a raging dragon, and waving his camera as if it was a sledgehammer. From behind him came another face that Jim knew very well, taking the joint from between the teacher's lips and puffing smugly. 

Harvey Bullock 

"What in the actual fuck?" Jim demanded, shocked and sobered by all the excitement. 

Wait. Were they in the shed smoking pot together? Mr. Groat smoked pot?! And oh, what was Harvey actually wearing? 

Even in his ridiculous adrenaline rush, he was dying to see what his ex-boyfriend had on. At a glance, his typical hoodie uniform seemed to be in place, and Jim felt insane for being so disappointed. 

"Jim?" Harvey immediately came to his side, strong arms around his waist. "Fuck! Are you all right?" 

Jim could only nod, still trying to catch his breath, clinging to Harvey's shoulders. 

"You two," the teacher snapped at Alvarez and Flass, "If you don't want to get fucking expelled, leave right fucking now." 

"I'll... I'll report you!" Flass stammered, clutching his head in distress and pain. 

"Go ahead," Mr. Groat taunted, confidently relieving Harvey of the joint to take another hit, "I'll make sure you never graduate and lose your precious athletic scholarship. Start practicing the phrase 'would you like fries with that'." 

"You motherfucker!" Flass howled. 

"You sure you're okay?" Harvey asked quietly while Flass raged on, cradling Jim close, his fingers running soothingly through his hair. 

Jim nodded again, pressing himself into Harvey's arms. He didn't even realize how badly he was shaking until his ex-boyfriend hugged him tight. "I'm okay. I'm just... you and Mr. Groat? You were smoking..." Jim lowered his voice, hissing quietly, " _Marijuana_?" 

"I know a guy," Harvey said with a sly smirk. "Well, a woman. But anyway, I only dabble, you know, and Mr. G has always been pretty cool with me. How the fuck did you think I got those keys to the school, huh?" 

"This isn't over!" Flass whimpered defiantly. 

"Looks pretty over to me," Mr. Groat snorted, "Leave. Or I'll have to report you for smoking weed and fighting on school grounds." 

"Smoking-?!" Flass was furious. "But you're the ones-" 

"Who are they gonna believe?" Mr. Groat cut him off coldly. "Me, respected and beloved teacher. Or you, vile jackass, whose disciplinary record has already been magically erased three times to allow you to graduate because of mommy and daddy?"

Alvarez grabbed Flass' arm, snapping, "Come on, man. Just let it go." 

Flass was enraged, pushing Alvarez away as he stormed off in an absolute fit. Alvarez looked almost apologetic before hurrying off to catch up with his friend. 

Mr. Groat pumped his fist into the air dramatically, his serious facade breaking into a fit of giggles. "Oh! That was marvelous!" 

Jim hadn't moved from Harvey's embrace. He had always felt safe here, smiling warmly up at him. God, Harvey's eyes were still so damn green. 

Okay, and a little red right now, but still very pretty. 

Harvey was absolutely beaming down at him, and for a moment Jim almost thought they were going to kiss. There was a click and bright flash snapping him out of the his daze, blinking in surprise when he realized Mr. Groat had taken their picture. 

"Sorry!" The teacher was grinning, finishing off the joint and flicking it off into the darkness. "Couldn't resist. Urge to capture the moment and all. Probably be the best picture I take all night." 

"Yeah," Harvey nodded, his eyes leaving Jim's. "Wow... You look really fuckin' good." 

"Thanks," Jim said, blinking up at him, certain that every inch of his face was on fire. 

"Well," Mr. Groat said, smirking playfully as he looked between the two of them, "I'm sure you two crazy kids have plenty to talk about. See you inside. And Harvey? Be good." 

"Or be good at it," Harvey teased back, grinning wide. He waved as the teacher headed towards the gym, his hand settling back on Jim's waist. "Didn't rough you up too badly, did they?" 

"No, I'm okay. Really. I just... I went for a walk..." 

"Yeah? Me and Mr. G kept hearing all this damn noise, and then this slammin' against the wall. Didn't realize it was gonna be your damn head they were knockin'." 

"They were... well," Jim gulped. "They thought they could... piss you off. By hurting me." 

"Well. They ain't wrong," Harvey confessed quietly. He frowned, his hands gently moving to fix Jim's collar and bow tie. "Shit's all fucked up, come here." 

Jim sucked in a sharp breath at having him even closer than before, Harvey intently focused on his work, unable to resist a big grin. "Knew it." 

"Knew what?" Harvey asked, quirking a brow as he finished up, giving one last little tug to ensure the knot was secure. 

"That you'd be able to tie a bow tie," Jim laughed. 

"Uh huh... You sure you ain't the one been smokin'?" Harvey smirked. 

"Pretty sure," Jim laughed, surprisingly relaxed now. It was so easy with Harvey, as natural as breathing. 

"You really do look, you know, nice," Harvey said, almost shy. "I should... I should let you get back to it. I'm just waiting for it to be over to pack up, yeah." 

Jim felt his heart drop as Harvey drew back, hands clinging to him. "Y-you don't want to dance?" 

"Dance?" Harvey paused, worry creasing his handsome face. "Jim... I'm kinda fucked up, and you look, wow, you look really fucking good. I can't, uh, I can't promise I'm gonna be a gentleman." 

"Please?" Jim pleaded softly. 

Harvey groaned loudly, as if in great pain, but he couldn't say no to that sweet face. He reached down to take Jim's hand, fixing him with a stern stare. "One dance." 

"Well, obviously more than one if we have to wait for a slow song," Jim countered. 

"Or we just don't dance until a damn slow song plays," Harvey haggled back, laughing.

"I can be very persuasive," Jim assured him, smiling wide. 

"Oh, I know you can be," Harvey sighed, seeming to know that there wasn't anything he could bargain for that Jim would give him. He didn't even have the right to ask. He nodded obediently all the same, letting Jim lead him back to the gym. 

Jim walked back inside, the heat and bass hitting him hard in the face as he began to move to the crowded dance floor. He felt Harvey let go of his hand, and he turned around to see what was wrong, frowning. 

Harvey was only stopping to take off his hoodie, underneath of which he was wearing black jeans and a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a black vest, and a green bow tie. Jim was blushing, gawking really. Yeah, it wasn't a tuxedo, but Harvey looked incredible. 

"You're gonna catch flies with your mouth hangin' open like that," Harvey laughed when he saw Jim staring, having to speak right in Jim's ear so he could hear him over the music. 

"You look great," Jim gushed, dragging him through the crowd of students until they could claim their own spot. The music began to slow almost immediately, as if right on cue, something sappy and sweet playing through the speakers. 

Haryey took Jim's hand, curling an arm around his waist. Jim was flushed all over, smiling dopily. All of the things they had done together, this was the first time they had ever danced. 

Their bodies slowly swayed together, Jim burying his face against Harvey's shoulder. Harvey wasn't much of a dancer, but he had rhythm, kept them on beat as he rocked against him. His hand stretched over Jim's back, rubbing soothingly. 

It felt so good to be in Harvey's arms again, the press of his body warm and familiar. God, he really did look so good all dressed up; even with the jeans, Jim didn't care. It was perfect for Harvey, just the right combination of class and a little punk. 

Jim was trying not to get too worked up, wishing he could enjoy this in silence, but he had too many feelings screaming to be let out. He closed his eyes, tilting his head up so Harvey him as he said, "I miss you." 

"I miss you, too," came the broken reply. "So much." 

"I'm leaving," Jim confessed, his heart aching when he felt Harvey's embrace tighten. "The army. I leave after graduation." 

"You're really going," Harvey echoed, and Jim couldn't decide if he sounded happy or pissed off. 

"Yeah." 

"What the fuck?" Definitely pissed off. 

"College," Jim responded, cringing, "Couldn't afford it, they'll pay... it's just a way to get out." 

"Uh, yeah, with people shooting at you," came the tense reply. "You are so fuckin' stupid, why-" 

"Please." Jim shook his head, pleading, "I don't want to fight. It's already done, I'm going." 

Harvey sighed haggardly, clearly very troubled. "Well..." He moved a hand to cradle Jim's face, offering a bittersweet smile. "At least we have tonight, right?" 

"Yeah," Jim nodded, leaning into Harvey's palm and letting his eyes close. "We can have tonight." 

The song played on, and the one that followed after was slow as well. They kept dancing, entire volumes of unspoken conversations being written in the silence between them. Jim was lost in Harvey's eyes, the way that the corner of his mouth kept twitching up in a little smile. 

"What?" Jim laughed, blushing from the tender way Harvey kept looking at him. 

"I want to kiss you," Harvey said, lips brushing over his ear. "But you might punch me." 

"Probably," Jim agreed even as his heart fluttered at the thought. 

"It's a terrible idea," Harvey went on. "You know, 'cause then you'll wanna have sex 'cause I'm a really awesome kisser. Irresistible, I would say. You just wouldn't be able to keep your hands off of me." 

"Uh huh." 

"Probably get kicked out of prom on account of you being so indecent. I mean, I know I'm good looking, but you've got to learn to control yourself in public, Jim." Harvey was grinning like an idiot, and for a moment Jim really did want to punch. 

"Ugh," Jim groaned, the disgust so familiar, snickering, "You are such an ass-" 

Harvey kissed him suddenly, stealing the words away from his lips and the breath right along with it. He was soft, gentle, but his hands pressed tight as if he was afraid that Jim might run. 

Jim clung to Harvey just as fiercely, melting as he gave himself over completely. Oh, it was stupid, but in that moment he had never wanted anything more. This was the prom date he was supposed to have, dancing the night away with the boy he loved. 

Harvey was the one to pull away first, asking huskily, "When you said tonight..." 

"Huh?" Jim was breathless, lips slick from kissing. 

"You said we can have tonight," Harvey tried again, trying to make his meaning more clear as he nuzzled against Jim's neck. "You're gonna be leaving Gotham, like, for fucking ever. Even if you could forgive me, we're probably... shit ain't gonna work out. But would you let me..." 

"Yes?" Jim's heart was in his throat now, trembling all over as Harvey's lips played over the lobe of his ear. 

"Let me make love to you." 

Jim swore, gurgled a little, his brain combusting on the spot. 

"One last time?" 

"God, yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap yourself in. Thar be angsty, beautiful smut ahead. <3


	54. Prom Part Deux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Harvey enjoy one last night together. <3

Jim Gordon didn't think he had ever run so fast in his life, Harvey Bullock dragging him through the dark hallways of the school. He had no idea where they were going, the echo of the music from the gymnasium following them as they hurried along. His heart was dancing in his chest, palms already sweaty as he clung to Harvey's hand. 

One last time. 

One last night with Harvey. 

Harvey skirted to a stop outside the school office, his keys out in a flash and unlocking the door. He guided Jim through this darkness, giving his arm a gentle nudge as he said, "Just, uh, wait here a second." 

"Okay." Jim froze, trying to get his eyes to adjust. He could barely make out Harvey moving around inside the nurse's room. He heard the spark of a lighter, and could now see a faint glow in the doorway. 

Harvey was back, taking Jim's hands and leading him inside. "Sorry it's not, you know, more romantic? But it's the only place with a bed." 

Harvey had managed to scrounge up a few tealight candles from God know's where, even a few extra blankets stretched out across the bed. He was smiling, offering out a flask as he said, "One last night." 

Jim smiled sweetly and took a drink, making a face as the alcohol scorched his throat. This was so thoughtful, and he was eager to feel Harvey's touch once more. 

But... was this really such a good idea. 

"Harvey," Jim said quietly, doubt beginning to settle in, "I want you. I want this. God, like, so much. But I don't want you to think this means everything is okay because we're not gonna get back together, and-" 

"Jim?" Harvey interrupted gently. "I know you're gonna be leaving Gotham, okay. I think it's fucking stupid to go off and play soldier and, well..." 

Jim frowned, but was patient, allowing Harvey to say his piece. 

"And..." Harvey took a deep breath, visibly struggling. "And I'm not gonna say anything else because it's not my place to say shit about what you do. We're not dating. I get that you can't forgive me." His eyes were damp, voice cracking as he said, "I fucked up." 

"Harvey," Jim sighed, his stomach twisting up into knots to see him so emotional. He gently touched his cheek, pressing close. 

"I ruined the best fucking thing that ever happened to me, and I will just have to fucking live with that for the rest of my miserable life," Harvey said, clearing his throat as he fought to keep his composure. "And if you're really gonna be gone, and I ain't ever gonna see you again, I want this to be the prom night you deserved, okay? The one I could have given you if I hadn't been such a fucking idiot." 

Jim's eyes were starting to tear up, gazing up at the beautiful boy in front of him. He anxiously took another long drink from the flask, exhaling slowly. He was afraid to speak, certain he'd sob if he opened his mouth again. 

"If you really don't want to do this, just say so," Harvey affirmed. "We can just sit and talk. We ain't gotta do a fuckin' thing. I could just hold you or somethin'." 

Jim's mind was made up, nodding slowly. 

This was it. 

He set the flask aside, cradling Harvey's face. "Please," he whispered, breath hot against Harvey's lips. "If we have to have a last time, I want it to be like this. I don't want to remember all those mean things you said, and how you left before... I want something better." 

"I can definitely do better," Harvey promised him, his hands sliding around Jim's waist. "I will make it so fucking good for you, I fuckin' swear." 

Jim sniffed quietly, starting to tremble. "Fuck, I... I still love you so much." 

"And I love you," Harvey whispered. 

Jim inhaled sharply, taking the plunge and crashing their lips together. The kiss was eager and wet with tears, grateful for Harvey's strong arms to keep him upright. The room was spinning, and Jim let himself get lost in Harvey's beautiful lips. They kissed until they were both panting, Jim's jacket and shirt peeling away under Harvey's quick fingers. 

Jim struggled to get Harvey's bowtie undone, laughing when he couldn't get the knot to release. 

"Here," Harvey chuckled, reaching up to help him, tossing it aside along with his vest and shirt. He pulled Jim back into his arms, and the heat between their bodies was electric. 

Jim's hands moved over Harvey's chest, feeling along his collarbones and his shoulders, fingers trying to map out every inch and burn it into his memory. He was more aware of Harvey's touch than ever before, each caress sending licks of fire up his spine, gasping softly. They fit together so well, as always, and Jim was melting right into him. 

Jim wasn't even sure how they managed to get in the bed without breaking their kiss. The weight of Harvey's body on top of him felt good and safe, his legs parting as their hips grinded together. He whined loudly, Harvey's hard cock rubbing against his so perfectly that his thighs began to shake. 

Harvey's mouth was all over his neck and his shoulder, sucking and pressing heated kisses everywhere he could reach. 

"Harvey," Jim squeaked, his voice frantic and warning, pressure building up in his loins and threatening to burst at any second, "If you don't stop... I might, uhm. Oh, crap, crap, _shit_!" 

"Go ahead," Harvey purred in Jim's ear, his hips continuing to rut forward, husky and wicked, "Go ahead and come." 

Jim whined, horribly embarrassed but desperate to climax. It had been so long, so very long, and he couldn't stop himself. He moaned, his back curling off the bed as his hips stuttered against Harvey's, nails dragging across his back as he came. 

Harvey kissed him, his tongue pushing between his lips as he rocked him through it. He didn't stop until Jim was crying out from overstimulation, sighing, "God, you're so fucking hot when you come, baby... Fuck." 

Jim could feel a thin sheen of sweat beading across his forehead, his chest heaving from force of his release. "G-God... Harvey..." 

Harvey started slowly scooting down, his lips paving a hot trail of kisses down Jim's chest and stomach. 

Jim tangled a hand in that gorgeous red hair, still trying to catch his breath while Harvey got his pants down around his knees. His boxers were soaked, whining bashfully at the mess he had made of himself. 

Harvey didn't seem to mind one bit, nosing along the damp fabric and licking at it with a happy sigh. He started sucking, eager for a taste, slowly dipping the waistband down so his tongue could meet bare flesh. 

Jim gasped, another tremor rocking his legs when Harvey's tongue flashed across the head of his cock. It was too much, too sensitive, panting erratically as Harvey began to lick up every drop of come he could reach. 

Harvey groaned, sucking and lapping all across Jim's groin and his cock, peeling his underwear down the rest of the way. He mouthed over his balls and nibbled at his thigh, making sure he didn't miss one bit. 

Jim was close to having an absolute fit, minute after minute of pleasure dragging by. He was losing his mind, he was certain of it, fingers tightening in Harvey's hair as he gasped, "Harvey, oh, it's, it's too much." 

"Oh?" Harvey said, his tone rich with mischief as he teased around the underside of Jim's balls. "Want me to stop?" 

"Fuck, I don't know," Jim whined, squirming as he felt that tip of Harvey's tongue brush over his hole. "God... that. Yes. Please do _that_." 

"This?" Harvey asked innocently, licking at him slowly. 

"Yes, God, that!" Jim's cheeks were burning, pleading, "Please." 

Harvey pulled away, and Jim was going to scream. But Harvey was only pulling his boxers and pants all the way off, grinning as he lifted Jim's thighs on his shoulders. He ducked his head down, burying his face into Jim's flesh and used his tongue like a weapon, circling his hole and thrusting inside without mercy. 

Jim cried out, the feeling was so intense and good, babbling nonsense as Harvey opened him slowly. "God, there, there, please. Please don't stop, just keep, just keep going. Just like that, oh, fuu-uck!" 

Harvey kept going, darting his tongue in and out to the same beat of the bass still distantly pumping down the hall. He groaned when he managed to slip his tongue all the way in, a finger alongside it as he did all he could to make Jim fall apart. 

"Mmmm, still so tight," Harvey mumbled, sucking and kissing his hole, groaning when he felt Jim's hips jerk down. "Fuck, yes. Do that again. Come on, baby. Fuck my face, come on."

Jim whimpered, slowly rocking his hips down to meet Harvey's tongue and fingers, gasping sharply at the new depth of pleasure. His hands shot up to the wall and headboard, bracing himself as he began to grind harder. 

He shouted when Harvey's fingers curled, white hot pleasure racing up from his loins, thrusting his hips to feel it again and again. His cock was hard again, bobbing against his stomach as he moved, spreading his legs so far that one of them dropped off Harvey's shoulder. "G-g-god! Fffffuck!" 

Harvey never stopped, trying to keep up with Jim's eager hips, licking and skillfully thrusting his fingers to make him cry out every time they collided together. 

"Harvey, please." Jim's skin was buzzing, hot, and sweating all over. He had no idea how long they had been at this, only now noticing that the music from down the hall seemed to have stopped. Harvey's fingers were slipping and sliding from all the spit and how open he was, his hole clenching down around him, yearning for more. "I need you, please." 

Harvey finally pulled away, using the back of his arm to wipe away a long string of drool. "Whew! Fuck," he groaned, stretching his jaw and smiling dumbly. "Hmmmph. Are you ready, baby?" 

"God, yes," Jim said eagerly, almost frantic as he pulled Harvey up for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around his neck, his legs wobbly as they curled around his waist. He could hear the rattle of Harvey's belt, moaning loudly in anticipation. 

This was it. Their last time... 

An avalanche of emotion dropped right on top of him, his moan turning into a soft sob. He could feel the warm head of Harvey's cock at his entrance, not pushing, only waiting, and he was completely overwhelmed. 

"Hey, hey," Harvey soothed, pushing up on his forearms. "Baby, look at me. Look at me, please?" 

Jim blinked his eyes open, swallowing back a cry as tears ran down the sides of his face. "Uh huh?" he panted, trying to get himself under control. 

In the candlelight, Harvey's eyes were sparkling jewels, gazing at him with such love. "We ain't gotta do this, baby." 

"No," Jim insisted, swallowing thickly, gasping back another sob. "Please. I need you. I'm just... it's so much. It's so fucking much. I'm gonna miss you, Harvey. Will... will you miss me?" 

Harvey's eyes were glittering with tears now, nodding slowly with a sad smile. "Oh, baby... I already do." 

Jim did start crying then, pressing a hand over his face to hide his tears. His heart was breaking all over again. Harvey's lips were all over his cheeks, his forehead, kissing away his tears and making soft comforting sounds. 

They held each other close, Harvey nuzzling against his neck. He never pushed, never showed any signs of frustration, letting Jim quietly sob. He was crying, too, sniffing softly as cradled the boy he had loved so much and hurt so terribly. 

Jim wiped at his face, groaning, "Ugh, I know. Crying is so hot, right?" 

"Sexy as fuck," Harvey chuckled, grinning sweetly down at him. He kissed him, letting it linger for a long moment. He waited until Jim seemed to be calmer, clearing his throat. He bit his lip, asking hesitantly, "Still wanna... you know?" 

Jim smiled brightly, teasing, "Still got it up after watching me blubber?" 

"I've always got it up for you," Harvey teased back, kissing the tip of Jim's nose. 

"I'm ready," Jim said with a happy sigh, smiling up at the beautiful boy above him. He hurriedly brushed his tears away, swallowing hard as he focused, taking a deep breath. He wanted to watch Harvey's face, he wanted to remember this moment always. 

Harvey flicked his tongue over his lips, his cock slowly starting to push inside of him. His mouth twitched, gasping quietly as the warmth of Jim's body embraced him, brows furrowed in concentration. 

Jim didn't think Harvey had ever looked so beautiful, the light of the candles catching his face so perfectly, his green eyes bright and gazing at him with such reverence. 

Harvey wasn't just here to make love; he was here to worship Jim with his entire body, to give him a night of passion that neither one of them would ever forget. 

Jim gasped suddenly, fingers curling into the flesh of Harvey's shoulders when he began to push deeper. The wicked bite of penetration took his breath away, his legs instinctively trying to close, trying to push away. "Harvey..." 

"I've got you," Harvey promised, kissing him softly, still pressing forward. He gently thrusted against the resistance, groaning as the pressure gave way and he was fully sheathed inside Jim's body. 

Harvey held him tight, panting softly as they savored the moment of being connected so deeply. 

Jim's head fell back, his fingers trembling as he reached up into Harvey's long hair, his legs finally relaxing. "Oh, oh, my God... fuck, Harvey. You, you feel so good." 

"You, too," Harvey sighing, sinking down into Jim again and again, finding a rhythm that made them both shudder and moan. 

Harvey couldn't tear his eyes away from Jim, even when they kissed. There were so many things he was trying to see, trying to remember, flashes of love and passion that he could treasure forever. 

The flutter of Jim's lashes, the curl of his lip as he smiled in bliss, the way he gritted his teeth and growled for more, and God, the moans. The sounds he made, the way he cried out Harvey's name so sweetly like a fucking prayer to heaven. 

"I love you," Jim gasped, his whimpering jerking up several octaves as Harvey hitched his leg up over his shoulder. "Oh, God, oh... fuck!" 

Harvey gave everything he had, sacrificing every breath in worship at the altar of Jim's body. His muscles burned, the air chilling his sweat drenched body, and yet he still felt like he was on fire. He was dizzy with sensation, every sense assaulted all at once. 

Jim writhed and cried, letting Harvey wring out every sinful sound from his body that he could as they moved together. It was a seemingly never ending ritual of ecstasy, Harvey changing their positions when he felt that he was getting too close. He wasn't done; not yet, no, not yet. 

He flipped Jim over on his stomach, their bodies slamming together savagely, smacking his ass and fucking him until he begged for mercy. He gave Jim a brief reprieve, kissing the back of his neck sweetly only to pull him on top so he could thrust up into him and make him scream and cry once more. He relented after a while, letting Jim take over, allowing him to ride his cock at his own pace. 

His hands found Jim's hips, both of them panting and bodies slick with perspiration, teetering on the edge of heaven and the pleasure threatening to take them both at any moment. Jim looked like a god, his golden skin glowing in the candlelight, every muscle of his torso tight and twitching as he gave himself over to the commanding roll of Harvey's hips. 

Harvey growled softly, knowing that the end was near. He would not let this finish in a feeble whimper. He wasn't going to accept anything less than Jim screaming his name. 

He grabbed Jim tight, flipping them once more. He stretched Jim out across the bed, his hands gliding over the curves of his body. He branded his chest with scalding kisses, teeth grazing over every inch of flesh he could reach. He settled back inside of Jim with a low groan, letting them both catch their breath as his thrusts steadily began to pick up speed. 

"I love you, always," Harvey panted, skilled hands tilting Jim's hips at that magical angle that always made him sing so beautifully. 

Jim grabbed at Harvey's hair, needing his touch, his lips, crying out passionately, "I love you... God... please..." 

Harvey knew that frantic sound, his hips obeying the unspoken order, grunting as he commanded his aching body to rock Jim Gordon's world one final time. 

Jim's moans were a litany of bliss, higher and louder, bursting into tears as he started to tremble. The tension, the pressure, the thrill of Harvey Bullock being inside him and driving him to the precipice of joy was absolutely irresistible. 

"Harvey! Oh, fuck! Coming, baby," Jim wailed as he fell right over the edge, "I'm coming." His cock pulsed pearly ribbons across his stomach, his body seizing around Harvey, sobbing and hiccuping as he came. 

Harvey closed his eyes, the call of Jim's heat all around his cock demanding tribute. He orgasmed suddenly, screaming behind his teeth, shaking from head to toe as he filled Jim's beautiful body up. He didn't want to stop. He didn't want this to be over. He kept thrusting, kept moving, even when his body was giving out and his cock was going soft. 

"Harvey," Jim whimpered, pleading for relief from all the stimulation, raw and exhausted, fingers threading through Harvey's hair. 

Harvey slowed to a stop, chest heaving as he slammed their lips together. He didn't want this to be the end... 

But it was. 

And it had to be perfect. 

Harvey surrendered his anguish in favor of his love for Jim, his lips now moving slowly and tenderly, the kiss deep and adoring. He let their bodies rock together for one last moment, finally releasing his hold. He smiled, teasing, "Hey, give me fifteen minutes, and we can go again." 

"Ughhhhh," Jim groaned, swatting at Harvey as he had a hundred times before. "God, you're ridiculous!" 

Harvey giggled, kissing Jim's cheek before rolling off to find his pants. He produced a cigarette and lighter, lighting up with a happy groan. 

Jim was pretty confident his body was going to melt right into the bed, smiling when Harvey pulled a blanket over him. He quirked a brow at Harvey's cigarette, saying, "Aren't you worried about the smoke alarm?" 

"This is Gotham High, not Gotham Prep," Harvey laughed, "The alarms would have to work for me to be worried." He snorted, taking a long drag and blowing out a few smoke rings. 

There was a small candy dish on the counter that he grabbed, dumping out the treats and using it as an ashtray. He plopped back down next to Jim, sighing contently. "Fuck, that was good." 

"Mmmhmm." Jim smiled, reaching for Harvey's hand. He was sore in the most wonderful way, his face still glowing from their love making. "So," he asked breathlessly, "Where does this leave us?" 

"Me, here. You goin'," Harvey said with a sad smile, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

"I could still write you," Jim said, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. "We could try to keep in touch?" 

"Nah," Harvey said, smiling bashfully, "Besides, you'll have all those hot army guys all over you. You'll be so fuckin' busy with all of them, you ain't gonna have time to write little ol' me." 

Jim smiled, saying softly, "Thank you... for this." 

"Anytime," Harvey said, nodding his head. "No, but seriously. Any fuckin' time. You get another crazy hankering for Harvey before you ship off, you just let me know, and I will deliver." 

Jim groaned, unable to resist a happy grin and rolling his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind." 

"Hey, I had to set the bar for your next boyfriend," he teased. "Make sure you don't ever forget me." 

"Like I ever could." Jim felt a twinge of sorrow, realizing that this really was the end for them. They were moving on, each set on their own path now. He blinked when Harvey offered him the flask, taking a long sip. "So..." 

"Hmm?" Harvey lazily flicked his ashes into the candy dish, not seeming concerned with leaving anytime soon. 

"Who do you get pot from?" 

"Duh, Mrs. O'Connell," Harvey snickered. "But it's okay, it's totally medicinal!" 

Jim chuckled, stretching out his legs with a satisfied sigh. He took another drink from the flask before passing it to Harvey, saying, "Mmm. Mr. Groat isn't gonna be mad you didn't help finish cleaning up, is he?" 

Harvey shrugged. "Fuck. It'll all still be there tomorrow. Today." He looked up at the clock on the wall. "Shit, it's like one o'clock in the morning." 

"Oh, crap!" Jim bolted up, groaning. "I was supposed to be home by eleven! My mom is gonna freakin' murder me." 

"Relax your rack," Harvey said, finishing off the flask and smacking his lips. "I can give you a ride home. Mr. Groat let me borrow one of the school vans to drag the chairs and shit around." 

"Fuck, are you sure? Well, I'm pretty sure Barbara and them are all long gone. I would really appreciate it. I didn't realize... well, I didn't think we had been... uhm..." 

"Bangin' for hours?" Harvey added helpfully. 

"Yeah, that." 

"Well." Harvey grinned, putting out his cigarette in the dish and pushing it aside. "I could go on and take you home, or..." He slowly pressed up against Jim and started gently pushing him back down against the bed. He moved the blanket aside and began kissing his neck, the dip of his collarbone. 

"Or?" Jim squeaked, his hands sliding up Harvey's sides. He shivered, a fresh wave of lust coiling down deep inside him. He groaned when he felt Harvey's hard cock teasing between his legs again, gasping, "Or what?" 

"Or," Harvey said, continuing to nuzzle and kiss, "We bang until my dick falls off?" 

Jim laughed out loud, scrubbing a hand over his face, nodding eagerly. "Yeah... one more 'last time'?" 

"One more," Harvey grinned sweetly, tilting his head up to capture Jim's lips in a passionate kiss. 

One more turned into two more, the last tremors of pleasure not leaving their bodies until sunlight had begun to peek through the blinds. It was passionate, beautiful, and Jim didn't think he was gonna be able to walk straight for a week. 

They managed to make themselves presentable, cleaning up their mess and trading little smiles all the while. Jim held Harvey's hand when he drove him back home, pulling up to the sidewalk in front of his apartment building. 

Jim crawled over the front seat to kiss Harvey's cheek, grinning at the blush that suddenly colored his pale face. 

"What was that for?" Harvey asked quietly, touching the spot where Jim's lips had been. 

"Just to say... Thank you," Jim said with a little shrug. "That's all. For making prom perfect." 

"I think you and I got different ideas about 'perfect', but yeah, it was pretty good," Harvey chuckled softly. 

Jim was so tempted to steal a kiss, his eyes flicking down to Harvey's mouth. Maybe just one more... 

"Fuck, you're as subtle as a sledgehammer," Harvey snorted. He nudged Jim's shoulder, urging, "Go. Now. Get the hell on before I try to talk you into round four in the back of this fuckin' van". 

"Going!" Jim laughed, grabbing his coat and starting to get out. "Hey! Don't forget, we have a test in photography class on Thursday." He fidgeted, hesitating to shut the door, asking hopefully, "I could, uhm, help you study?" 

Harvey drummed his fingers over the wheel, pausing as he thought it over before agreeing, "Yeah. I'd like that. God knows I can use all the help I can fuckin' get!" 

"All right, cool," Jim said, his face lighting up. "I'll see you in class." 

"Later," Harvey replied, waving smiling softly as he watched Jim leave. 

Jim was smiling the whole way up to his apartment, certain that he was floating and that his feet never touched the ground. His heart was still hurting, but it was lighter now. He finally felt a real sense of closure. He knew that he would always love Harvey Bullock. Even as they went their separate ways in life, that boy would always have a special place in his heart. 

Jim was so happy he didn't even care when his mother screamed at him for staying out all night. He didn't even bat an eye when she told him that he was grounded for a week and waved the coffee pot menacingly in his direction. He let her rant and rave as the coffee gurgled away, unable to keep the blissful smile off of his face. 

When she had cooled down, she sighed, rolling her eyes as she said, "I was really worried about you. And you're still so completely grounded. But..." She smiled sweetly as she pouted herself a cup of coffee. "I am glad that you and Harvey had a really good time." 

Jim blushed all over, grinning dopily. "Yeah, it was... it was really good." 

"Getting back together?" 

"I don't think so, but I think it's gonna be okay," Jim said, hopeful and bright. "I think we can be friends, and I'm... I'm good with that." 

"If you're happy, I'm happy," she said with a nod. 

"I'm working on 'happy'," Jim said thoughtfully. "But I'm okay. It's a work in progress." 

"Good," she chirped. "Now, Mr. Work In Progress, go get some sleep. I'm going to make a list of chores for you to do when you wake up." 

Jim whined pitifully, but didn't fight. He couldn't even be that upset over the punishment because every moment he spent with Harvey was totally worth it. He started off to his room to nap, but paused suddenly. 

"Wait a second," Jim said slowly, turning back around and eyeing his mother suspiciously, "How did you know I was with Harvey?" 

His mother smiled, batting her eyes playfully as she sipped at her cup. "Oh, well, you see, dear. You were just so happy when you came home, it was pretty easy to put it together. There's only one person I know that can put that googly look on your face." 

Jim blushed, cooing happily, "Aw, Mom. That's so nice. Yeah, I guess we really did have a fun time, and-" 

"Plus the hickies all over your neck were a pretty big clue," she interjected with a sly grin. "Unless there's someone else you've been letting chew on you...?" 

"Oh, God. Uh, no. Harvey. Just Harvey!" Jim's hand instinctively slapped over his neck, his face flushing through at least a dozen exciting shades of red. He hurried to his room to die of embarrassment, his mother's cackling following behind him as he collapsed into bed. 

He couldn't help but smile, groaning loudly in frustration and laughing as he pulled his pillow over his head. 

Oh, damn it, Harvey. 

If Jim was a work in progress, then Harvey Bullock was a rough draft; but God, was he going to be beautiful one day. Jim could see the person that Harvey could become, the wonderful man that he had the potential to grow up to be. They only had a few more short weeks until graduation to spend together, and Jim was going to make the best of the time they had left. 

He hoped that he could convince his friend to use that scholarship, to push himself forward and better his life. Harvey was so damn stubborn that Jim wasn't sure if his nagging would do any good, but he was determined to try. He sincerely hoped that whatever became of Harvey in the years to come that he would be happy. 

And just maybe, some day, Jim could be happy, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, smut fairy! Whew! One more chapter to go!!! Ahhh!!!


	55. The Best Years Of Our Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation.

The time leading up to Jim Gordon's graduation was happy. He and Harvey were able to forge a strong friendship despite the occasional yearning look or awkward flirting. They hadn't so much as hugged since the night they spent together at prom, and Jim was determined to stand firm and not risk leading Harvey on. 

There were moments when it felt impossible to resist him. Harvey's hand would brush against his passing over a book and make his heart flutter, or he would get that naughty look in his eyes when he teased him, and Jim could feel his insides melting in an instant. He took lots of cold showers and was certain he was going to have calluses on both of his hands soon. 

They still didn't see each other as much as they had when they were dating, but they hung out after school to study together occasionally. They also had to work on their final photography project as partners. 

Mr. Groat's final assignment was actually pretty benign. They had to repeat the portrait they had done of each other at the beginning of the year, but he wanted to see improvement. He wanted the students to show him that they could apply the various principles of photography they had learned throughout the class. 

Harvey had snapped a few quick photographs, making Jim laugh while he teased him about boudoir photography again. Jim was more diligent, making Harvey pose and preen for an entire roll of film while he struggled to get the perfect shot. 

Harvey was patient, smiling softly as Jim finally got the picture he wanted. It wasn't until later when he was turning in the assignment that Jim realized how sad Harvey had looked. He was smiling, but his eyes were deep and lost pools of emerald, hopeless and mourning. 

It was a beautiful picture in spite of the sorrow, or perhaps because of it. 

Jim got an A. 

Amazingly, so did Harvey, and no one else was more surprised and proud than him except for possibly Jim. 

How far they had come, and still so far to go, Jim lamented. 

It was the night before graduation and he found himself digging through their other photographs, realizing with a frown that there weren't any pictures of them together that he could find. They were all pictures they had taken of each other, capturing smiles and laughter, and lots of middle fingers and silly faces from Harvey. 

Jim chuckled softly, looking over the tickets from the movie they had gone to see and other little treasures from all the months they had been together. He knew this had been the happiest time of his life, and he was sad to be leaving Gotham. 

Sad to be leaving Harvey behind. 

He had already started packing his bags for the military. He would be gone in two weeks. The recruiter had given him very specific instructions about what to bring, and he would be allowed a few photographs. He selected one of his parents, one of him with his mother, and he found himself contemplating on whether or not he should bring one of Harvey.

He had a copy of the first portrait he he had taken; the one where Harvey was flipping off the camera so defiantly. It really was such a charming image, so very Harvey. Jim traced his fingers over the edges of the photo, indecision wrecking him. 

Harvey had been his first for many things, and he had taught Jim so much. Not just about sex, but about loving someone. Jim had learned to compromise, lessons of patience and empathy that he would carry with him for the rest of his life. 

Harvey had also shown him how painful a broken heart could be, smiling sadly as he put the picture back in the drawer. It was time to move on. 

When Jim got settled down for the night, his thoughts drifted once more to the future. He was nervous and excited, wondering if he would ever find someone that would make him feel like Harvey did, would he enjoy being in the military, would he able to travel all over the world and see beautiful things; 

Would he be happy? 

Jim didn't know, but damn if he wasn't hopeful. He fell asleep with a smile, dreaming of red hair and camouflage. 

He woke up the morning of graduation like any other. He got dressed, ate breakfast, and got to school like every day he had before. He thought he would feel different knowing this was the last day of school. 

He wondered if the reality hadn't set in yet. Even carrying his cap and gown into the bathroom to get ready, it didn't seem like this was actually happening. He stood in front of the mirror for a long time, knowing he needed to finish up, but he couldn't stop looking at himself. 

He thought that he looked older, more mature, perhaps wiser now. He was not the same stumbling kid with a dark cloud following him everywhere. The cloud had lifted, and there was sunshine in his life again. He knew some days would still be stormy, but now he knew he could persevere. He had found the strength inside of him, and he was never going to let it go. 

He smirked at himself in the mirror, taking off his cap and running his fingers through his hair as he laughed to himself. It was just one more thing Harvey had shown him; how strong he really was, how much better life could be, to make new traditions and to always keep moving forward. 

Like pies and rough sex for Thanksgiving, he recalled with a grin. 

Fuck, he was going to miss Harvey so much. 

Jim sighed, glancing up at the clock on the bathroom wall. 

Fuck, he was going to be late! 

Cap back in place, Jim hurried down the hallway towards the gym. He hated to be late, rushing as fast as he could, skittering to a stop when he saw a familiar head of red hair moving towards the exit. 

Harvey Bullock. 

"Hey!" Jim called out to grab his attention, jogging down the hall away from the gym to catch up to him. He frowned when he saw Harvey was only wearing jeans and his hoodie. "Where are you doing? Why don't you have your gown on?" 

"Hey, some of us gotta get to work," Harvey laughed, shrugging with a faintly bitter smile. 

"What about your diploma?" Jim protested. 

"Meh, they can mail the fuckin' thing. Just a piece of paper."

"But Harvey," Jim sighed, frowning. "You worked so hard." 

"Yeah, and now I gotta go work some more," came the frustrated reply, Harvey holding out his hands in defeat. "And... you know. Since I ain't got school any more, I'm gonna be working days at the mart for Mrs. O'Connell." 

"And nights down at the dock?" Jim asked with a forlorn sigh. 

"Well," Harvey said, flashing a cheeky smile. "Since some jerk got me this goddamn scholarship I can't get rid of, I may have checked out Gotham Community College. And yeah, maybe they offer some night classes. And even my shitty grades were enough to get into their culinary program..." 

Jim's face lit up instantly, throwing himself into Harvey's arms, cheering, "Really! Oh, my God! You did it! You really fucking did it! You're gonna do so great, I just know it!" 

"Oof! Don't get your hopes up," Harvey grunted, patting his back. "The scholarship is only gonna cover a few semesters, but hey, you never know." 

Jim smiled happily, gazing adoringly up at him. "I'm so proud of you." 

"Yeah, yeah," Harvey chuckled, his hands lingering at the small of Jim's back. "Thanks. You know... for always believing in me... even when I didn't. Fuck, especially when I didn't." 

Jim was struck silent by the sweet sentiment, only able to offer a happy smile in reply. He was thrilled. Harvey was actually gonna go to college, his heart bubbling over with joy. 

Harvey leaned close, and God, Jim was suddenly hoping that they were going to kiss. It was a foolish urge, but he couldn't help it. This might be the very last time he saw Harvey Bullock, he realized, his stomach suddenly seizing up in knots. 

Jim even closed his eyes in anticipation, startled when he felt Harvey's lips brushing over his ear instead, teasing, "Hey, you're gonna be late for your own graduation, Jimmy." 

"Harvey," Jim breathed, his eyes fluttering open to catch a glimpse of green. 

"See ya' round," Harvey said softly, planting a quick kiss on Jim's cheek before pulling away. 

Jim stood dumbstruck, watching Harvey walk away with a quick wink and his heart ached. This was it. There were no tears, no last minute declarations of undying love, no wild bursts of anger. One moment Harvey was there, and then he was gone. 

"Goodbye, Harvey," Jim whispered, letting himself mourn for a few seconds before realizing that time had gotten away from him again.

He hurried into the gym, taking his seat right as the graduation ceremony began. Speeches were given and names were being called, taking his position to ascend the stage when it was finally time. 

"James Worthington Gordon!" the principal called out. 

Jim was too excited to even cringe at having his full name announced. He shook the prinicpal's hand, eagerly accepting his diploma and marching proudly across the stage. This was the first step of his new life. He smiled down into the audience, trying to pick out his mother in the crowd, surprised when he saw a flash of red hair down by the gymnasium doors. 

Could that have been... 

As he came down the steps, he strained to look through the crowd of people. 

If it was Harvey, he was certainly gone now. The doors cracked open just long enough for someone to quickly slip out, smiling as he felt a little flutter in his chest. He couldn't prove it, but he was pretty damn sure Harvey had come back to watch him graduate. 

Th ceremony concluded with a loud round of applause, the students all flinging their caps into the air. Jim Gordon had graduated high school, with honors even, and he found his mother's tearful embrace once.

"Oh, I'm so proud of you," she praised, peppering his face and hair with kisses. "I know your dad would be, too. I wish he was here to see you, how handsome you look." 

"It's okay," Jim said, smiling sadly as he fought back a fresh wave of emotion. "You're here." 

"Yeah." She gently cradled his face, nodding to herself. "You did it, darling." She studied him carefully, asking knowingly, "Mmm, what's wrong? You're not upset that it's over, are you?" 

"No," Jim replied thoughtfully, linking their arms as they moved through the departing crowds. "I guess... I guess I thought things would be different? Like, I would feel different. I'm happy, really, but I just feel kind of, well, empty." 

"You miss him, don't you?" 

"Oh, of course I miss Dad, it's just-" 

"Not him," she said gently. "Harvey." 

Jim blushed, staring down at his feet. Leave it to his mother to hit the nail right on the head. "Maybe," he said stubbornly. "I guess I really loved him a lot, you know." 

"Well," she said, shrugging lightly. "Love is a very funny thing. I don't think I'll ever love anyone like I did your father. But I do think it's possible to fall in love again; it's not really a better or a stronger love, it'll be different, but it'll still be love." 

"You really think so?" 

"It's a work in progress, but I think so," she teased. 

Jim grinned, his cheeks still flushed as he thought about that ridiculous redhead who had stolen his heart. He really did hope that Harvey was able to find his happy ending, maybe Jim could, too. 

Jim didn't know if he was ever going to see Harvey Bullock again, but he knew one thing for sure. 

He would never forget him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! That's the end! Isn't that nice? Hold on, you didn't like it? You wanted Harvey and Jim to end up together?
> 
> Huh.
> 
> Hmmm. Wait... I think there's an epilogue over there...


	56. ...Are Yet To Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

Almost thirteen years had passed since James Gordon had last stepped foot in Gotham. He dedicated himself to life in the military, excelling up the ranks both through hard work and his natural talent. A combat photographer is where he made his mark, capturing both the horrors of war and the kindness of helping the broken souls left behind. A minor injury was enough to induce a medical discharge prematurely, but it allowed him to finally attend school to perfect his art. 

He returned to the field yet again once he had graduated with top honors, but this time as a civilian photographer. He braved countless warzones and even adventured behind enemy lines to find that perfect shot. His photography earned him international recognition and multiple awards, his images gracing the covers of magazines all over the world. After a few close calls, he decided he had spent enough time overseas and returned to the states. 

With his reputation, he could have gotten a job anywhere he wanted to. It was hard to sit still, and he found himself changing jobs frequently to keep moving. He traveled all over the country, working in Los Angeles and New Orleans, then off to Metropolis and New York, he even spent a few months in Central City; practically everywhere but Gotham. 

His mother had wanted him to come back to the city for years, but he had resisted. There was a part of him that wanted to try and settle down, return home, but he couldn't make up his mind. He told her that he was waiting for the right offer to come through. It finally arrived, and it was from a most surprising source. 

His old schoolmate, Oswald Cobblepot. 

Oswald had done very well for himself, a successful fashion designer whose garments had ruled red carpets for over a decade, and he was now the head editor of Volturo Fashion Magazine. The headquarters were right there in their shared hometown in Gotham. Oswald was in need a staff photographer for their editorial pieces, someone with a talented eye, and someone who had a special appreciation for Gotham was a bonus. 

The salary was ridiculously good, and Jim couldn't say no. 

The job was easy compared to what he had been through before, and he enjoyed it in spite of the constant diva attitudes from models and designers. Oswald was a fair employer, took good care of him, even helped him get set up in a swanky studio apartment downtown. Life was good, although quite lonely. 

He had dated here and there over the years, but constantly being on the move made it hard to commit. He had left more than a few broken hearts in his travels, and he wondered now that he was trying to settle down if he would find the right person. Even after all of these years, he still thought about Harvey Bullock often. 

His first love, that gorgeous redhead who had stolen his heart that fateful senior year. No one else since had ever been able to compare if Jim was being honest. He had never been able to feel that same beautiful fire again, convincing himself it had only been the result of teenage hormones and the rush of falling in love for the first time. 

That was why no one since had been able to set his heart aflutter with just a glance, why no one other person had ever made his whole body shudder all over in pleasure, whose embrace always felt like coming home, and whose kisses could make his very soul ache in bliss. 

Yup. Hormones. Had to be. 

Jim often wondered what had ever happened to Harvey. Did he stay in Gotham, did he use that damned scholarship, did he finally find his own happy ending here. Jim had tried once or twice to look him up, but had no luck. His old phone number was disconnected, Mrs. O'Connell's mart had been turned into luxury condos, and the apartments where Harvey had lived was now an office building. He even tried finding him on social media, but found no trace of him. 

Jim had been back in Gotham over a month now, and he thought of his old boyfriend almost every day. He hoped that wherever Harvey was that he was doing well, enjoying all the good memories he had as he drove over to his latest assignment. He tried to focus on the present, pushing the past aside for now. The details of this job were sketchy, and the mission top secret. For a brief moment he felt like he was back in the service again. 

Oswald often had a penchant for dramatics, and his flair was in full force when he was describing Jim's next job. It was a portrait of one of Gotham's restauranteurs, Quinn Thornton, a very reclusive and mysterious gentleman that had opened up a very successful place called Ingrid's last year. 

Even from the other side of the country Jim had heard of it. The waiting list was over six months long, and critics all over the country raved about the amazing food. Despite all the success, Mr. Thornton remained extremely private. 

Oswald had been after an exclusive interview for several months, and somehow had finally managed to secure one earlier that week. The interview was done, and all Jim had to do was take the man's picture for the article. Apparently, Quinn was a little camera shy, and he had never allowed his photograph to be taken for any publication before. 

Oswald was ranting in his ear the whole way over, Jim wishing briefly he could hang up the phone. Maybe he could blame it on a bad connection. 

"It must be absolutely perfect," Oswald was practically wailing into the phone. "Black and white, something simple, but powerful. I don't want a cluttered shot, something natural. Clean, beautiful." 

"Oswald," Jim soothed, "I've got it. It will be perfect, I promise." 

"It had better be," Oswald hissed, a flash of anger coloring his frantic tone. "This is Quinn Thornton. Everyone has been trying to get at him for months. And I got him! Not those sappy goons over at People magazine, or those vapid sycophants at Vogue! Me!" 

"How _did_ you get him?" Jim asked suddenly, frowning slightly. Oswald could be quite convincing, but Jim's instincts were telling him that something was up. "Who is this guy? Really?" 

"Oh," Oswald chirped innocently, immediately calm and demure. "Just a... guy." He sounded absolutely giddy, teasing, "Actually you may know him. We went to school together!" 

"At Gotham High?" Jim quirked his brows. "I don't remember the name." 

"Ah, well," Oswald said, and Jim could hear the little shrug in his voice. "Maybe you'll recognize him when you see him." 

"Yeah, maybe," Jim replied. "Anyway. I'll email the proofs over to you tomorrow-" 

"Tonight!" Oswald shrieked, once again in a violent panic. 

"Yup. Tonight." Jim cringed, trying not to grin. "Goodbye, Oswald." 

"Remember. Perfect!" 

Jim took a deep breath, sighing as he drove around the block to find parking. He had set up an appointment with Mr. Thornton's secretary, instructing him to meet at the restaurant for the shoot. 

He grabbed his camera bag, making his way inside, looking around curiously. He could certainly never afford to eat here, but it was a beautiful restaurant. Modern, chic, but still warm and inviting. He was surprised to see that the place was apparently not open yet despite the front door being unlocked. 

The lights weren't all on, and it was entirely empty save for a robust man unpacking some boxes behind the bar. Jim only got a glimpse of him; shaggy beard, untucked shirt, no tie. 

Perhaps the bartender. Janitor, maybe, judging by the scruffy look. 

Seeing as how there was no one else here, Jim began to approach, clearing his throat. "Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you, but I guess I'm early. I'm suppose to be meeting Mr. Thornton for an appointment? Uh, a portrait? For Volturo Magazine?" 

"Oh, yeah," came a gruff voice, the man stooped down as he moved some bottles of liquor around beneath the bar. "Just finishin' up here." 

Jim stepped closer, frowning as he tried to get a better look at him. 

The man stood back up, and... it couldn't be. 

That red hair, those green eyes. 

Jim choked on air, staring dumbly. "Harvey?" 

The years had aged his old love, crinkling his brow and under his eyes. His once brilliant red hair was faded and almost blonde at his temples. Time had definitely added some weight to him, but he wore it well. His beard was thick and spotted with white around his lips. 

Jim almost didn't recognize him; until he smiled. 

There was that twinkle of mischief he had loved so much, the years melting right off his face as he grinned. "Yeah, well, who were you expecting? The fuckin' Easter Bunny?" 

Jim was smiling, blushing all over. "Wow... Uh. Hey!" He offered his hand out, surprised when Harvey pulled him into a big bear hug over the bar, laughing. 

Harvey slapped him on the back, cackling happily. "Holy fuck, you look fantastic!" 

"So do you!" Jim gushed, certain that his ears were red by now. 

"Bah, c'mon," Harvey snorted, "I got old and fat, don't give me that. 

"No, really," Jim insisted, his arms lingering around Harvey's shoulders. He would have thought it awkward, but Harvey's were still holding him. It was a little uncomfortable with the bar between them, so he reluctantly let go. "You, uh, you work here?" 

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Harvey said with a shrug. 

"Bartender, huh? Suits you," Jim teased, smiling brightly. He couldn't stop staring at Harvey, and he was staring right back. There was a long pause, stuttering, "I should have tried to keep in touch-" 

"I thought about calling you like a thousand fuckin'-" Harvey began, laughing when their voices overlapped. He gestured for Jim to go first, smirking. 

"I've been so busy, and I know that's no excuse, but-" 

"Busy? Shit, how many times were your pictures on the cover of Time Magazine?" Harvey chuckled. "Busy seems like an understatement. 

"You saw," Jim said, blushing harder. 

"Hell yeah, I saw," Harvey said with a snort, "Hometown boy makes good, you pay attention. Come on. I've been following your career for years. Even got one of your prints hanging up at my house." 

"Which one?" Jim asked too eagerly. 

"Why don't you come over and see it? It's hangin' right above my bed," Harvey teased, winking playfully. 

"Ugh, my God. You haven't changed a bit," Jim groaned in disgust, but he couldn't stop smiling. 

"Neither have you," Harvey said, the beard hiding the flush working its way across his cheeks. "You really look great. I really never thought I'd see you in Gotham again." 

"It's home," Jim said softly. 

"Yeah, it is," Harvey agreed, laughing. "Fuckin' smell ain't ever changed, huh?" 

"No, definitely the same," Jim chuckled. 

"Well, fuck. Allow me the honor of properly welcoming you back!" Harvey produced two glasses, reaching for a bottle of something from off the top shelf. 

"I'm sorry," Jim said, cringing when he saw Harvey pouring what was probably a very expensive vodka, "I would love to have a drink and catch up, but I'm actually here for work." 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah, a portrait for the magazine I work for." 

"Right, right, with the owner." Harvey nodded, his eyes sparkling as if he was about to tell a really funny joke. 

"Yeah." Jim frowned. "I thought he was gonna meet me here, but I guess maybe he's running late. Do you know when Mr. Thornton will be in? Kinda want to get this done." 

"What's the hurry? Hot date?" Harvey smirked, waggling his brows as he sipped at the booze he'd poured. 

"No," Jim protested all too quickly, "No date. Not for, well, a while actually. I just... hmm." He cleared his throat. "If I don't get this done now, I'll be up all night editing." 

"Damn shame," Harvey nodded in sympathy, "When there's so many other fun things to do to keep you up all night." 

"Come on," Jim snorted, feeling his neck getting hot. "Please don't tell me you actually get any action with that corny crap." 

"Meh," Harvey replied, winking slyly and shrugging his shoulders. "I do all right." 

"Seriously," Jim said, shaking his head. It was too easy for Harvey's silly old charms to make his pulse quicken. "I do really want to catch up. Maybe we can have dinner or something, but I really need to speak with the owner, Mr. Thornton." 

"What a crazy coincidence," Harvey exclaimed, eyes wide, whispering loudly, "You already are." 

"Come on," Jim laughed, his smile faltering for a second when he realized Harvey was being serious. "But the owner, the head chef is some guy named Quinn-" 

"Quinn Thornton," Harvey said, nodding. "An alias. Didn't want my old man ever poppin' out of the woodwork lookin' for cash again. He came around after graduation, heard about that goddamn scholarship I 'won'." He wiggled his fingers in the air in little quotations. "Idiot thought they were just gonna cut me a big check or somethin'." 

Jim grimaced slightly. They both knew how Harvey had won. 

"Thought he could somehow get cash outta that, and it got pretty nasty. So, I decided to use a fake name, and it just kind of stuck. After the funeral, I got a lawyer and started filing everything as Quinn. Ain't heard a peep from him since." 

"Funeral?" Jim's breath caught in his throat, reaching out to rest his hand on Harvey's arm. "Oh, Harvey. I'm so sorry... Your mother was such a lovely lady." 

"Huh?" Harvey blinked, instinctively placing his hand over Jim's as he took a second to catch up. "Oh, God! No! My mom is still alive!"

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry-" 

"It's okay! Really, I appreciate it-" 

"Wait, then what funeral-" 

"Mrs. O'Connell," Harvey laughed, "You remember her? The woman who was already ancient when we were in high school? She was ninety-two. Died in her sleep, in her recliner with a bottle of Jack in her lap." 

"Not a bad way to go!" Jim laughed, realizing their hands were still touching. It made his heart flutter, and he didn't make any move to pull away. 

"Right? I thought so," Harvey chuckled in agreement, "Well, when she died, you know, she didn't ever have no kids. She left the store to me. Held onto it for a while, but the neighborhood kept getting bought up. I waited a bit, let the market get hot, then I finally said fuck it and sold. Made a goddamn mint. 

"I had used up the scholarship on my of first year of culinary school, and Mrs. O'Connell's cash got me through the rest. I worked at restaurants all over Gotham learning every goddamn thing I could, and when I was ready I was able to open up this place all on my own. Set my mom up real damn pretty, too. It's amazing what fuckin' doctors can do when you can actually pay them. She's doing fuckin' great." 

Jim was floored. He picked up the glass Harvey had poured and took a swig. "Wow." 

"Not bad, you know," Harvey said, smirking softly, gesturing to the restaurant around them. "Got all my shit together in the end." 

"Yeah, this place looks incredible. I totally get why Oswald wanted to do this story so badly," Jim said, tapping his finger on the edge of his glass. "Wait. You and Oswald..." Realization set in, glaring accusingly. "I'm the reason you agreed to the article." 

"Maybe," Harvey said innocently. "God knows he's been on my dick forever to do it. 'But we went to school together, we were such good friends, blah, blah, blah'. Barely fucking knew him! Didn't really like him, to be perfectly fuckin' honest. Ugh. But, so, when he told me about who he was tryin' to get as his new staff photographer..." 

"You agreed." 

"Honestly?" Harvey laughed, taking another sip. "I never really thought you'd ever come back. You're pretty big shit now, why would you ever come back to damn Gotham? So, fuck yeah, I told him if he could get you to take the fuckin' picture, I'd do whatever fuckin' dumbass article he wanted. Didn't realize you were actually gonna show up and make me eat my damn words." 

Jim chuckled, finishing off the glass with a big smile. "And here we are." 

"Uh huh." Harvey poured them both another, his lips still twitching up in a smile. 

"I really did think about you," Jim said, surprised at his own forwardness. "A lot, actually." 

"Yeah?" Harvey snorted softly. "Creative ways to castrate me?" 

"No," Jim said, but paused, admitting playfully, "Well, maybe just once or twice." He reached out to touch Harvey's hand, saying sincerely, "Look, we were kids. I know you didn't want to hurt me. You were looking at the big picture in a way I never could back then. And I wasn't exactly... kind... when you tried to get back with me." 

"Like you said, we were kids," Harvey replied gently, rough fingers curling around Jim's. "And it ain't like I didn't deserve it for being such an ass. You say lookin' at the big picture? I say I was an arrogant prick, who was pretty scared you were gonna leave once you finally figured out just how fuckin' great you are." 

Jim couldn't believe how he was blushing now, smiling shyly. It was too easy to get lost in those pretty green eyes all over again, his stomach turning somersaults when he felt Harvey's thumb lightly brush over his knuckles. That spark was still there, licking his lips anxiously. For a moment, they were right back in high school again, and it was too easy to remember a time when this man had been his whole world. 

"Forgive me?" Harvey asked, his eyes pleading. 

"Absolutely," Jim said breathlessly. "Am I forgiven?" 

"Forgiven, forgotten, totally good," Harvey replied, obviously relieved and pulling his hand away to grab his drink. 

Jim missed the warmth immediately, hiding his pout in his glass. 

"Wanted to make sure everything was cool if I ever wanted to introduce you to my family." 

Jim almost choked. "Family?" he asked casually, trying not to sound disappointed. 

"Yeah. I got married! Got me a little wife now. Named this place after her, you know, mother of all my children and all." 

"Children?" Jim paled. 

"Yeah, six fuckin' kids. Aw, you should see them." Harvey smiled dreamily. "They're great." 

"Sounds... nice," Jim said, forcing a smile in return. 

"Mmmmm," Harvey agreed. 

Jim's shoulders sagged a bit. There was an actual moment where he thought that fire between them was going to be rekindled. He guzzled the rest of the booze, doing his best not to look miserable. It was a silly idea anyway. Harvey couldn't possibly be interested in hooking back up after all of these years, and Jim thought he was a bit crazy for considering it in the first place. 

They were completely different people now, though the chemistry between them still seemed to be there. They hadn't seen each other in over ten years, and yet Harvey's smile made him feel hot underneath his collar, and his touch was electric as always. 

But if Harvey had a family, there was no point thinking any more on it. Jim felt like a fool. Of course Harvey wouldn't be available now. It was foolish to hope otherwise. 

Wait, why was Harvey grinning like a total and complete jackass? 

Harvey snorted, chugging back his drink before he burst into laughter. He slapped Jim's arm, cackling, "Fuck, you should see the fuckin' look on your face!" 

"Huh?" Jim didn't understand the joke. 

"Me? A fuckin' wife? And six kids? Holy fuck, you're so fucking gullible! Come on, this place is named after my mom, you fuckin' putz!" Harvey was about to double over he was laughing so hard. "I ain't got no goddamn kids!" 

"Oh, my fucking God," Jim groaned, smiling despite how he had been duped. A tiny flicker of hope began to resurface, smacking Harvey's forearm and chiding, "You're such an asshole!" 

"Hey, some things never change," Harvey snickered. "And hey, I can't believe you didn't remember Ma's name!" 

"I'm sorry! It's been a really long time! Honestly, I don't even know if I ever knew your mom's name!" Jim protested, throwing up his hands. He narrowed his eyes, challenging, "What's my mother's name?" 

"Gee, hmmm," Harvey gasped, looking overly distressed as if he wouldn't be able to recall before scoffing smugly, "Her name is Rachel because even though I'm an asshole, I got a way damn better memory than you." 

"Yeah, yeah," Jim snickered, groaning into his glass. His head was starting to feel warm, relaxing as he made a playfully sour face at Harvey. 

"Mmm, you did seem mighty upset about me bein' hitched," Harvey said with a smirk. He winked, teasing, "I'll save you the sneaking around and just answer the question that I know is just fuckin' killing you right now. I know that I'm a sexy motherfucker, dare I say almost irresistible, and my success is very attractive. But believe it or not, yes, I am single." 

"With all that charm? And so humble? Wow, I wonder why!" Jim shot back, groaning as Harvey began to pour them another round. "Hey, I actually am here to work, and I never drink this early. Plus, I have to drive!" 

"It's a special occasion," Harvey argued. 

"One more drink," Jim said sternly, "Then we are taking this picture." 

"Fine, ya' damn Boy Scout. We'll behave," Harvey cackled, knocking his glass back as if it were a shot. 

Jim crossed himself and chugged back his drink as well. "Okay," he said, licking his lips. "I'm actually thinking..." He took a few steps back, tilting his head as he sized Harvey up. He looked so relaxed there behind the bar, handsome and comfortable. "I'd love to do you right here." 

"Don't ya' think that's a little fast, Jim?" Harvey giggled. "I mean, I'm totally down, but let me at least make you dinner first." 

"Do the picture!" Jim pressed a hand to his face, unable to stop laughing. "Christ, you're so disgusting." He started reaching into his bag, grabbing his camera and attaching a few different lenses before he settled on the one he wanted. 

"You ain't gonna use any of that Photoshop mess on me, right?" Harvey pursed his lips. "I'm a natural beauty, you know."

Jim wasn't going to argue that, saying instead, "Just relax." He moved their empty glasses off to the side so they wouldn't be in the picture. "Get comfortable."

"You know, I actually did bring a suit to wear," Harvey said with a quirk of his brow. 

"Well, I like you like this." Jim smiled warmly. "This is you. This feels real. I spend enough time taking pictures of fake people. So!" He raised up his camera again. "Keep talking to me." 

"About what?" Harvey looked confused. 

"Anything," Jim said with a shrug, snapping some test shots and making a few adjustments to his camera. "Whatever comes to mind." 

"How about dinner?" 

"Dinner?" 

"Dinner," Harvey said, smiling confidently. "This is me asking you out." 

"You don't waste any time, do you?" Jim teased, capturing that cocky smile he loved so much. 

"I'm serious," Harvey chuckled, "Consider it a thank you for that stupid ass scholarship. After all, that's what got me started." 

Jim was beaming. He'd always hoped Harvey would grow up to appreciate his subterfuge, and he was so glad to see how far he had taken it. "Well, how about here at your restaurant? Think you could get me a reservation?"

"Yeah, sure, I'm real tight with the owner," Harvey teased, "Me, you. My private table. Let me cook for you. You know, like a real date. Maybe, if you're really lucky..." He let his eyes wander down Jim's body. "You'll get to see what print I got hangin' above my bed." 

"Oh, if _I'm_ lucky?" Jim smirked, definitely catching the way Harvey was checking him out. "If _you're_ lucky, you mean." 

"Ha!" Harvey grinned, looking so much like his younger self. "Mmm, think my chances are looking pretty good from here."

"We'll see," Jim challenged, taking a few more shots. He looked back through what he had taken, smiling. Harvey had always been so natural in front of the camera. He was sure he had the perfect shot in here somewhere. "I think I got it." 

"Already?" Harvey frowned. 

"I'm just that good," Jim said proudly. He started putting his camera away, saying, "If you're serious about dinner-" 

"I am." 

"Tomorrow night would be perfect." 

"Why not tonight?" Harvey was actually pouting, walking out from behind the bar. 

Jim pulled his bag back over his shoulder, sighing, "I really wish I could, but I've got to get this picture sent over to Oswald before he has an aneurysm." 

"Tomorrow then," Harvey said, "Seven o'clock work for you?" 

"Sounds great," Jim said excitedly, trying to play it cool and failing. He couldn't stop himself from pulling Harvey into a big hug, sighing, "God, it is so good to see you. I really can't wait." 

"Fuckin' ditto," Harvey said, letting the hug linger, his hands fanning over Jim's back. "We got so much to catch up on." 

"Yeah." Jim didn't want to let go, and he swore that Harvey was wearing the same cologne from high school. He breathed in the familiar scent, loving how Harvey's big arms felt around him. It still felt like home. He started to reluctantly pull away, his heart racing when Harvey wouldn't let go just yet. 

Harvey was smiling down at him so sweetly, and they were close enough to kiss. All either one of them had to do was move the tiniest bit, and Jim was having trouble thinking of anything else. 

Jim gazed longingly at Harvey's lips, definitely tempted, but resisted. He smirked, meeting his eyes again. "I'll see you tomorrow, Harvey." 

"Looking forward to it," Harvey assured him, finally releasing him. 

Jim gave a little wave, his heart pounding a million times a second as he left the restaurant. He let out a deep breath he didn't realize he had been holding, smiling giddily as he started walking back to his car. 

Holy shit. He had a date with Harvey Bullock, the very first love of his life. The man who had swept him off his feet, and who had turned out better than Jim could have ever hoped. He was proud. After all, he always knew Harvey had it in him, and he was so happy that life had worked out so well for them both. 

Maybe that happy ending he had been searching for was closer than Jim realized. 

"Hey, hey!" Harvey called out as he suddenly came flying out of the restaurant, hurrying down the sidewalk. "You forgot somethin'." 

Jim frowned and stopped, patting his bag and his pockets, replying, "No, I don't think so?" 

Harvey grinned as he caught up, panting lightly, his arm closing in around Jim's waist and holding him tight. "Oh, yeah, you did," he chuckled, his green eyes twinkling playfully. He cradled Jim's cheek, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled him into a sweet kiss.

Jim gasped, melting instantly as his arms curled around Harvey's shoulders. The scruff of the beard was new but pleasant, and his lips were still as soft as Jim remembered. It was like a jolt of adrenaline, panting and tingling all over as they kissed. 

"I couldn't wait until tomorrow," Harvey confessed, smiling bashfully as they finally came up for air. "I wanted to kiss you the fuckin' second I saw you. I've really missed you. So fucking much." 

"Me, too," Jim said softly, certain that every drop of blood in his body had relocated to his face. His cheeks ached from smiling so hard, shaking his head. "God, you're still so gorgeous." 

"And you're still an idiot," Harvey said affectionately, bumping their noses together. 

"Asshole," Jim sighed adoringly. 

"Yeah, but you know..." Harvey paused, taking a deep breath. All that lovely confidence and bravado of his faltered, vulnerable as he said hopefully, "Could be your asshole again... if you want." 

"Oh? Just like that?" Jim teased, biting his lower lip. His heart was jumping rope, overflowing with happiness, but managed to play coy. 

"Just like that," Harvey replied eagerly, resting their foreheads together. "What d'ya say?" 

"I'd say we're on the right track." Jim immediately went back in for another kiss, gasping as one of Harvey's hands suddenly slid over his ass. "Harvey!" he chastised, lightly smacking his arm. 

"Sorry," he giggled, "Just had to make sure it's still there. You know, it's been a while." 

"So, tomorrow?" Jim said breathlessly, winding his fingers through Harvey's long hair, kissing him passionately. 

"Mmmmph, tomorrow," Harvey mumbled against his lips, squeezing him tight. He slipped his tongue deep into Jim's mouth, groaning softly. 

It was senior prom all over again; passionate and desperate, and everyone else in the universe faded away. It was only the two of them, making out like they were kids, lost in each other's lips. It was easy to forget they were standing right in the middle of a crowded city street. 

Passing cars began to honk, and someone shouted at them to get a room. 

"Tomorrow," Jim repeated, bashful and grinning, laughing as they finally started to untangle from each other. 

"Seven," Harvey confirmed, running his fingers through his hair. 

"I'll be there," Jim promised, leaning back in for one more kiss. It turned heated again in a manner of seconds, his desire for Harvey quickly taking priority over avoiding Oswald's wrath. 

Harvey was certainly not complaining, kissing back eagerly, squeezing Jim's hips. He groaned lightly, making himself back off as he panted, "I'm gonna get arrested for indecent exposure if you keep this shit up." 

"Oh, yeah?" Jim teased, panting softly. "Tell me. Is it _Walking River_? Or _Girl Holding Flowers_?" 

"Huh?" 

"The print," Jim said, smiling innocently. 

"Ah, the print," Harvey nodded, grinning. "Wanna find out?" 

"Maybe I do," Jim replied breathlessly. 

"What about ol' Ozzie and his picture?" 

"He can fuckin' wait," Jim sighed, surging forward to claim Harvey's mouth again. He gasped softly as Harvey's tongue met his, nodding quickly. "Yeah, I really need to know what it is." 

"Right. The one right over my bed. As in, in my bedroom. At my place." 

" _Phoenix Ascends_?" 

"Nope." 

" _Brown Roots In Winter_?" 

"I ain't gonna ever tell," Harvey taunted. 

"Well, I've got to know," Jim said, feigning frustration. "I guess there's only one way to find out." 

"Right now?" 

"Definitely right now." Jim smiled, his heart soaring. He thought back to what Mr. Groat had said the day of prom. Thirteen years had come and gone, and he had never forgotten what he had told him. He hadn't believed him then, but now he knew he had been right. 

It was never too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read, gave kudos, commented, threatened me, called me a monster, etc. Seriously. Every bit of encouragement kept me writing, and I am so proud to have finally finished this.
> 
> Also, COME ON. Like I wasn't gonna write something where they end up getting together. What kinda crazy fan girl do you take me for. I'm a monster, but this monster loves a happy ending.
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
